I do it to myself every year.
The month of May rolls around and I know that school will be out in a few weeks and we’re going to have days filled with nothing but time, time and more time. No more hurrying out the door in the morning all the while barking orders…
“Put your shoes on!”
“Stop hitting each other with stuffed animals!”
“Why are you taking that hair clip out that I just put in?”
“How could you get in the car without your backpack after I said 20 times ‘don’t forget your backpack!’?”
I’m starting to hyperventilate a little bit just typing that out and thinking about how that will be our life again here soon.
But in May, well, in May the desperation for a slower pace has reached it’s climax and I’m giddy with thoughts of endless hours of nothing. And not having to sign my initials on one more reading chart, permission slip or lunch calendar.
So I start a list in my head of all of the things I’m going to accomplish with all of that time. I can hear you laughing at me already.;-)
I should organize my craft supplies.
I really should sort through the toys in the playroom closet.
I know I should finally get around to giving the kitchen island that makeover I’ve been talking about forever.
And I’m quite certain, when I’m thinking about all of this in the month of May, that I will accomplish all of those things and sooooooo much more! I mean, after all, summer break is 3 months long, right? That’s plenty of time to check them off my ‘I should’ list.
Then June rolls around and I’m so thrilled to be spending time with my kiddos. We’re going to the library and the farmer’s market. There’s swim camp and play-dates with friends. And just that glorious feeling of waking up in the morning and knowing that we really don’t have to be anywhere right away….or maybe not at all!
And I should start tackling some of those projects. Really, I should.
But, why would I organize my craft supplies when the kids could use them to make fairy houses?
And why would I sort through toys when I can hang out with Agatha Christie and a glass of wine out on our new deck?
Why would I spend weekends on making over the kitchen island when I could cheer on my son whose dream finally came true of being on the swim team?
Because here’s what else happens every year. I get to this point in the summer and realize that not only was I ca-razy to think that between all of the summertime comings and goings I would have chunks of time to get projects done, but also that I don’t even WANT to get projects done!
So, I’ve decided that my ‘I should’ list needs some tweaking. In fact, it needs to be thrown out and replaced with a brand new one.
Wanna know what’s on my new ‘I should’ list?
Well, I should let my daughter decorate her own birthday cake.
I should watch her playing in the sand and wish there were a pause button for my life so I could freeze this moment.
I should make sure to chronicle the progress being made on the tree house being built in Nonna and Poppa’s woods. It’s going to be awesome and magical and there are going to be some serious sleepovers happening up there!
I should be ready to come running when my girl says, “Hey Mommy, look what I’m doing!”
And then be ready to push her in her new contraption and laugh hysterically together at the sheer silliness of it all.
I will never look back and be glad that I spent these months organizing my craft supplies or cleaning out the playroom closet or even giving the kitchen island a makeover (but that will get done in the Fall!).
These moments, this summer, will never come again.
So, what I really should be be doing is embracing them. Drinking them in. Reveling in these precious, fleeting days.
Leaning my head back, closing my eyes and letting the warmth of the sun wash over me. Being still.
Now, that’s my kind of ‘I should’ list! How about you?