Autumn Home Tour

I have music playlists on my phone that are very, very personalized. There’s the ‘Mom’s Chill Playlist’ which is a collection of songs that are slow, relaxed and are perfect to play in the background while eating dinner. Then there’s ‘Betty’s Playlist’ which are all of the songs that sound the best while riding in my husband’s sporty convertible which he affectionately named Betty. I have a playlist of traditional Christmas songs and another one of only instrumental songs for the season. But, there is something very unique about my ‘Autumn Playlist’.

As I dusted it off for the first time this year, I noticed a theme. Unlike my other playlists, this one has a very distinct melancholy feel to it. Now, I’ve talked before about how I find Autumn to be the most bittersweet season. But, I realized that almost all of the songs on that playlist have that tinge of something to them that can only be described as a kind of sadness. There’s a kind of wistful longing in so many of them and I just find it incredible that they are able to capture the essence of Autumn so perfectly.

There’s a reason that the poet William Cullen Bryant said that “Autumn is the year’s last loveliest smile.”

This season, when the leaves show off and then begin to fall, is a poignant reminder of the passage of time and I think that’s why I always find my emotions to just be a bit more on the surface in Autumn.

Our youngest just started her senior year in high school and I can hardly wrap my brain, let alone my heart, around the fact that we are at this stage. On her first day of school, I posted on my personal Facebook page a photo of her standing on our front porch alongside the photo I took of her on her first day of kindergarten on that same porch. It almost took my breath away how quickly those years have flown by.

And, because she’s our youngest, it’s the end of an era for me as a mom. One of the greatest privileges of my life has been being so available for my kids throughout all of these school years. As a homemaker, I was the one to drop them off, pick them up, chaperone field trips, shuttle them and their friends to games and activities and volunteered in their classrooms.

While I’m definitely not perfect, I can look back on these years of motherhood and know that I was ‘all in’.

And yet, being ‘all in’ makes it just a little bit more difficult to realize that this chapter is coming to a close.

But a very important lesson I’ve learned as I’ve matured into middle-age is that, while all of these emotions are very real and very significant, I can’t let them overpower me. These feelings aren’t a problem that need to be solved. They are just…there.

The goal was always to work myself out of a job so it’s good and right that my kids are growing/grown up and we’re all moving into this next phase of life.

And it’s good and right that we move into Autumn. 

What an unbelievably gracious gift it is that the Lord ordained for there to be seasons.

It’s a constant reminder that we are supposed to hold very loosely to the things of this earth. Whether that’s babies who seem to grow up in the blink of an eye or leaves that almost glow in their vibrancy before falling to the ground.

The seasons are a testimony to the Lord’s sovereignty and, at a time when so much in our world feels very uncertain, they offer us much needed reassurance.

As it says in Daniel 2:21, “He changes times and seasons; he deposes kings and raises up others. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning.”

If your heart is feeling discouraged and troubled right now, I pray that this serves as a gentle reminder that trust in Him. Nothing that is happening in your life personally or in our lives collectively is a surprise to Him. Take comfort in that dear ones!

Happy Autumn!