Blogging is such a strange and wonderful world. You get to form bonds with people you’ve never met. And you know you may never meet them! You connect with each other, feel each other’s pain, joy, heartache, success. You hear their hearts in the words they write and you find yourself inspired to dig deeper in your own life…in your own faith.
This is exactly how we feel about our friend Lynn from Blue Skies.
And that is why we are so thrilled to be welcoming her as our very special guest today on a very special occasion in her life.
And that is why we are so thrilled to be welcoming her as our very special guest today on a very special occasion in her life.
Now, please help us welcome Lynn to the Picket Fence!
Brenna’s Birthday
I’ve been invited by Heather and Vanessa to be their guest blogger today. I have to tell you, it comes on a very, very special weekend and I’m so happy to share it with all of you.
Eighteen years ago, my life changed forever.
I wasn’t in a car accident, there was no death in the family, no fire or disaster. All the same my life and the life of my family was altered in ways we would never imagine.
We welcomed a baby into our life, and began down a road we never thought we would walk.
Her name is Brenna.
Oh, the life-altering detour in our lives?
An extra chromosome.
It threw us for a loop, let me tell you. We had no idea. While I was pregnant, I had a strong feeling something was up (it was a difficult pregnancy) and I spent many a night telling God just exactly what I could and couldn’t handle. What road map to follow. If we should go North or South.
Down Syndrome was definitely not on the map of my life.
Fortunately, God doesn’t go by my map.
As this unchartered map was shown to us, we began to see a pattern. Our road was one that was full of people. In the beginning, it was a neighborhood when the girls were little with 17 kids on the cul-de-sac. A place where the girls could thrive, run free during summer nights and Brenna could lock whoever she pleased out of their house and find the Cheetos in their pantry.
Later on down the road, when we were tired and wanting more for our child and others like her in the realm of school, a team of seven men joined together with my husband to ride bikes across the United States in order to raise money to begin a special education program in a private setting. Really?? Not something I would have EVER imagined sitting in my hospital bed that hot August morning.
As an artist, I have had the privilege of bringing art to my children and their friends, both at home and at school. There’s nothing quite like glue, paint and glitter with a special ed. class. I love it, but I know an aide that struggled every time she saw glitter of any color, and I have a feeling those were not her favorite days. What a blessing to laugh together through those art lessons.
This pattern includes our family, extended family, strangers whose lives have crossed ours and long time friendships. Which is the beauty of Brenna’s roadmap. No one is a stranger to her. There is no prejudice, no being blinded by the culture, (O.K., with the exception of Justin Bieber.) and she has a great sense of knowing people’s character.
I worried so, so much at first. I’m pretty good at it, so I worried about her sister, our life, what would be changed, what wouldn’t go as planned, the vast detours, the health problems, the things we would never do. It’s exhausting, all that worry. It weighs a person down.
All though I haven’t mastered the art of not worrying, (what parent does??) I have learned that, a. it really doesn’t get you anywhere, b. my child has done far more than I ever dreamed of and, c. when one quits the worrying, the lessons flood in. When the lessons flood in, and they are received, grace enters. Thoughts are changed, hearts are opened, our hands are held open instead of in a closed fist. When our hands are held open in this life…well.
There is love and commitment. Trust grows. There are things like learning to treasure moments, living in the present and laughter. Some days I close my eyes and take a deep breath, and just stop. My mind travels to the sweetness of her eyes. The sound of her laugh, the opportunities that have come in our life, and I think about things like struggles she has faced. Some she has overcome, some that might never be redeemed. True, there are days when I close my eyes and I am sad. Sad for what isn’t to be, sad for roads she will never take. But strangely enough, when I open my eyes, I look around and see that I’m the only sad one in the room. Brenna’s not sad. Heck no. She’s ready. Ready for the day, the next adventure, being at school, the next summer camp, her next slice of pizza. I’m learning to recognize my own sadness, feel it, express it and to move on.
As parents, we work HARD. With any child, we strive to help them be successful, we strive to give them confidence, love, a firm foundation. It’s no exception with a child who has special needs.
The road with them might wind in different directions, but the destination is the same.
Along the way, we are touched deeply. We are reminded to slow down. To love a little more, to let go of preconceived notions. We find out that some things just don’t matter. And the things that really, really do matter?
Oh, wow.
Those are the spectacular parts of the road: The relationships, the struggles that bring us to our knees or to others for help, the hand that we learn to extend, the love we learn to receive and give; the knowledge and wisdom and compassion we learn and give to others. The beauty in the road here is mind boggling.
Our little family has found their way on this unexpected road, and we have learned to love fiercely along the way.
A lesson I don’t think we would have learned nearly as well without Brenna’s map.
Many, MANY thanks to Heather and Vanessa for the opportunity to write and share this part of my life, and thank you for taking the time to read and walk a little bit of the journey with me.
Feel free to come by and see what direction we are going at my blog,
Happy, happy Birthday Brenna! We love that we have gotten to know you through your sweet mom. We feel blessed that she shares “you” will all of us! You are an amazing young woman and we’re proud to have you over here at the picket fence today. May you have a birthday every bit as special as you are. Much love,
Heather and Vanessa
Happy Birthday Brenna! I hope your day is filled with joy and lots of fun!!!!
oh my great GOODNESS!! With a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes, I wish Brenna the most WONDERFUL daughter in the world!!!!! I love when people can open up their hearts and take something that others would consider bad and turn it into what it is really meant to be….AMAZING!! I have a special needs nephew and I can’t imagine what all of our lives would be without him.. He makes us stronger and better people..Showing us what true love is.
HUGS to you all.
Love,
Karin
http://www.artisbeauty.net
that was suppose to say wonderful BIRTHDAY..but oh well..LOL thats what happens when I type with tears in my eyes!
Happy Birthday Brenna! Hope your day is as beautiful as you are!
Oh….HAPPY BIRTHDAY SWEET BRENNA!!! What an incredible young lady you are with such a contagious smile!! 🙂 Hope your day is as super special as you are!! 🙂
Happy birthday Brenna! I didn’t even know I needed the life lessons that two grandchildren with disabilities taught me. Now, I shudder at my ignorance and am so thankful for everything they do to make me a better person. Sometimes the medicine seems bitter but we need it all the same! Thanks for sharing. ~ Maureen
What a beautiful story Lynn…It will stay with me through out our birthday celebration for my Dad today who is 78! Brenna’s eyes are filled with love and her smile beams with happiness! Happy birthday Brenna!
Happy Birthday to your Sweet Brenna!!! Your story has a familiar tone to our own story. Our first son was born with some unknown infection and had to under go a spinal tap in only a few short hours of his newborn life. We were young and inexperienced parents believing that your Expectant baby will be normal and you will go on to live just like every other family. Only to find out that things aren’t going to be the same, you would find yourself thrust into a world of Special Needs and all the Paper work and Programs that go along with it. Our son was considered Autistic and had no language till about 5yrs of age and even then it was audible. I found myself telling the Lord that He promised in His word not to give us more than we can handle and I certainly wasn’t handling this okay. However as the years have gone on and He is now soon to be 16 we find that he has taken us on a journey and have learned more about the Lord and His faithfulness and Perfect will for our lives. We our so very Blessed to have our son Bryce in our lives and stand amazed at this young man who once had no comprehension of who God is let alone the fact that I couldn’t explain we were out of peanut butter for his sandwiches, now stands in FULL knowledge and understanding and has such a Love for the Lord it astounds us. He still struggles with Language and processing but all in all he has achieved more than I ever would have thought possible.
Blessings to you on this VERY special day!
Angelina
Happy Birthday to a beautiful girl. 18 ia a milestone. I know you are a blessing to your family and friends. To Lynn…you do have a blessing in your lovely child. You are a blessing to others. Your own grace and beauty shine thru. Thank you. Regena in Tn.
Happy, happy birthday Brenna!!!….What a beautiful person you are…you teach us how to love life itself and to enjoy every moment of the day with an outlook of sheer joy and excitement. Lynn, I so loved this story…it so touched my heart as my grand niece is a special needs child…her mom, my niece, is a Special Ed professor at a prominent university…so God gave her the blessing of this beautiful child….Thanks Heather and Vanessa for this ever so beautiful and heart warming post….truly inspirational.
Amazing story (and photos!!) Happy birthay Brenna!
What an awesome story. Very inspiring. Happy Birthday Brenna!
This post blessed me so much, you have no idea.
Mu husband and I have been discussing the possibility of adopting a down syndrome child, I can’t think of a greater blessing.
XO,
Anne
Beautiful story, beautiful pictures, beautiful daughter! Happy Birthday Brenna!!
Debbie 🙂
What a wonderful, soul-stirring story. My mother’s best friend’s youngest boy was born with Down’s Syndrome. Back then the tried to force her to institutionalize him. She absolutely refused. We had a lot of fun with Bobby when we were kids and although he never learned to talk, or read, or write, he was gifted in Baseball. He could say the names and statistics of every single player, past or present. It was amazing. About the only other words he said was Momma and Lambie (his sister). God bless this family as they walk this path- xo Diana
I have a special needs adult son. His story is complicated. But I do understand the sadness of things they will never experience.
Your sweet daughter is just adorable. SO happy. You are right she isn’t sad. I know she has brought your family alot of joy.
Happy Birthday Brenna!
Amazing amazing post and what a beautiful young lady! Happy Birthday Brenna!!
What an amazing post! Thank you for sharing your beautiful daughter and your ‘map’ with us. Happy Birthday, Brenna!
I have read this story before and it has me all teared up just like the first time I read it.. Happy Birthday Brenna!!
Happies of birthdays to beautiful Brenna!
Almost in tears because these are so right-on and what needed to hear. you for taking the time to write this and for adding such pretty graphics. This post will be saved and re-read when needed.