I went to bed with her on my mind.
I woke up with her on my mind.
I sent her a text as soon as I got out of bed to tell her that I was praying for her…praying hard. Praying that during their appointment that morning, they would hear the heartbeat.
Knowing that this type of appointment was all too familiar to them.
She texted back and told me she had been listening to a particular song over and over again. Clinging to the words. Making them her own.
She sent me the link to it and as I sat there watching the youtube video, I was overwhelmed.
As I sat and listened to the lyrics, I couldn’t keep the tears back.
I texted her and said this, “Those are perfect, beautiful truths. They are hard to grasp and hard to understand, but they are truths nonetheless.”
Truth is a strange thing.
We can know it in our heads and yet feeling it in our hearts is another matter.
And at no other time are we more aware of this duality than when we are hurting. When life feels so overwhelming and so unbearable that we simply cannot imagine a time when we weren’t in so much pain.
But God’s truths, the truths about who He is, His character, His promises…they don’t change. Even when our circumstances do.
Even when there is deep pain.
Even when there is confusion.
Even when there seems to be no answer.
Even when there is betrayal.
Even when there is unbearable grief.
There are times in our lives when we feel like we are dangling from a tree branch. The wind is whipping all around, the rain is pouring down on us, the thunder and lightning crash and we are clinging to that branch with all of our strength but we can feel our fingers slipping as we doubt that this branch can hold us. Or, more accurately, that WE can hold onto IT.
When we cling to God’s truths, it doesn’t mean that the storms just magically disappear. It simply means that we are miraculously given the strength to keep holding on in the midst of the storm.
We cling to the truth that God is…
Good
Just
Merciful
Mighty
Holy
Loving
Sovereign
Powerful
Because He is ALWAYS those things. Those truths don’t change even when our lives don’t go according to our plans.
And as we are able to embrace that duality of knowing the truth even when we aren’t feeling the truth, we reach a new level in our relationship with Him.
Oswald Chambers says this…
“Sorrow removes a great deal of a person’s shallowness, but it doesn’t always make that person better. Suffering either gives me to myself or it destroys me. You cannot find or receive yourself through success, because you lose your head over pride. And you cannot receive yourself through the monotony of your daily life, because you give in to complaining. The only way to find yourself is in the fires of sorrow. Why it should be this way is immaterial. The fact is that it is true in the Scriptures and in human experience. You can always recognize who has been through the fires of sorrow and received himself, and you know that you can go to him in your moment of trouble and find that he/she has plenty of time for you…If you will receive yourself in the fires of sorrow, God will make you nourishment for other people.”
I recognize my friend as one who has been through the fires of sorrow and received herself. And I know that I can go to her in my moments of trouble just as she knows she can come to me in hers. Because she knows that I too have been through those fires.
You see, a funny thing happens when we go through those fires. Not only are we able to cling to the truths of God’s character and be refined by the ‘burning’ but we are able to praise Him even when…
Even when we don’t get the answer we wanted. And even when we do!
My sweet friend texted me later that day and said that while there was a heartbeat, they were told to prepare for the worst. That there was a 99% chance that this baby would not make it into this world.
And what did my friend do? She praised God even then. She praised Him that she had seen this baby on the screen. Heard the heartbeat as she and her husband clung to each other. She praised Him for how he was strengthening her marriage in this season. How He was revealing to her just how much she really needed to be relying on Him for everything. How GOOD He was to them and how very much they had to be grateful for. She praised even when she was mourning.
But she also prayed.
They had to wait a week, a horribly agonizing week, before the next ultrasound.
And Monday night I went to bed thinking of and praying for her.
And yesterday morning I woke up thinking of and praying for her.
I sent her a text to tell her I was praying. And I waited.
Mid-morning the text came through from her.
And I won’t tell you what it said. Because it isn’t MY story. It’s theirs.
But whether it is the news they wanted to receive or the news they didn’t, they know that the truth of who God is didn’t change…even when their circumstances did.
UPDATE!!!!
My sweet friend and her husband are thrilled to officially announce that this baby is indeed alive and thriving and they just found out that they are going to be welcoming a precious GIRL to their family!! Thank you to all of you who prayed, encouraged and supported!! God is so good!!
I read this with tears in my eyes! So happy for them and I pray this baby will survive and bring them much joy. I read “Streams in the Desert” and Charles Spurgeon every day and both of them write so much about suffering and this is where we grow spiritually. I raised 4 children who walk with Jesus. They all married godly spouses. I was as sick as a dog while I was raising them. They’ve said that my faith in the midst of such suffering is what drew them to Jesus. To have children who walk in Truth because of my suffering makes it all worth it. ALL things work together for those who love God and are called according to His purpose. Such a beautiful post! Blessings to this precious couple.
I always enjoy getting your blogs through my email but was totally not expecting this. While I only know you through this website I’m in tears reading about such powerful prayer warriors. Praise God through all blessings told!!!
Just thank you. I’m in tears I am so moved by all your words and your story here. My 11 year old granddaughter is facing brain surgery soon. She already is a survivor of neuroblastoma cancer once. Your writing today is helping me–no more words to explain. Thank you. <3
Beautifully shared! Thank you for reminding us of this truth….God never changes! Praise God for this couple’s answer to prayer!
I rejoice with all! Thank you for sharing , caring, and posting this! Christians pray with each other and for one another and as you stated, ” God in the 1%,.” This is why I love your blog! You are keeping your faith and holding your values! God bless each of you!!!
This gave me goosebumps all over my body. Thank you for sharing this story. We serve an amazing God!!
Oh this was heartbreaking and also a blessing from the Lord! God knows our hearts so well.I lost our unborn daughter Rachel in 1987. It is still tough for me. We have five healthy children but the pain never goes away. I will be praying for your friend. I hope that lil fighter comes kicking and screaming into this world. Thank you for sharing.
Lots of hugs to everyone, Anne
What a beautiful story! My daughter miscarried three times before she finally received a diagnosis of Graves Disease. She heard three heartbeats only to lose them soon afterwards. Her pain was unbearable. After her diagnosis she became pregnant for the fourth time and, armed with a team of doctors and prayer warriors, she and her husband gave us our first grandchild. Afterwards we were blessed with two more. We never forget the three angels that we never got to hold, but we thank God each day for the three little blessings we have.
What a beautifully written story of the power of faith and prayer! I hope things continue to go well for the couple!
Thank you for sharing this.
Before I reached the bottom of your post, I paused and with weeping, prayed for your friends. And then I read to the end … but it’s not the end … just a beautiful, grace-filled beginning! What a beautiful testimony! I’ve had and still have great pain in my life. Everyone says I’m strong – so strong! But I feel weak. And so I cling to His hand. Always beating myself up and questioning and hoping and doubting … but He is faithful. And His arms are always open. And He is ABLE. As He proved Himself to your friend. And to me over and over again. Thank you for sharing this. It really bless me today.
Lynn
Such truth in this post. God calmed my anxious heart this past week when hubby passed out at work and was in the hospital. Usually I fall apart when these unknowns happen, but as I was driving to the hospital I had a very real sense of God’s peace that no matter what happened everything would be okay…why? Because God is God and He loves us in each and every time of our lives be it good or bad.
I pray for your friend and their precious baby. God walks right along beside them and holds them in His hands.
Blessings~
I have goosebumps reading this!Beautiful words so eloquently spoken.
My thoughts and prayers are with your friends….My friend who had always gone through so many trials and tribulations….once said to me, that God does not give you anything you cannot handle…and she handled it all, right up to her death…I grieved terribly for so long, but now I am at peace as i know she was ready to be in HIs arms, as she had experienced before.
When is she due? Please keep us up on this!
Praying for your friend. My daughter lost her second baby the same way. No heartbeat then she had to take the pills for a miscarriage. She ended up having an emergency D and C. She had a little by a couple years later.
It has to be hard to see your baby and then no sign of life. I pray that this will be the time the baby will survive.
And about the percentages…….they are only numbers. Anyone could be that 1 percent. Thanks for sharing so others can pray for her as well.
Such happy news and tears!!! Very well written, Vanessa.
I want to share a story and a happy warning for your friend.
Being an only child, I wanted a big family. I’ve been pregnant six times, three miscarriages and two ectopic pregnancies that ended our child bearing. In the middle of all that heart break and loss, there was an embryo that was too small with no heartbeat. The complications started, more ultrasounds, and all I got was “nope, not viable”. In that last appointment where they told me they had to “clean up” my insides, the most unbelievable comfort washed over me. On a day filled with disappointment, I became a Christian.
So there I am a week later, in the hospital doing the pre-op routine an hour before my scheduled D&C, and they take one last ultrasound. There it was. Her perfect little heart was flashing on the screen so fast. She is 19 now.
I do have a warning for your friend. If this little go-getter turns out to be the one, be prepared for this kid to own her feelings! You are so scared you’re going to lose them, before and after birth, that awful scenarios fill your head, a lot. Like, still to this day. Pray. It’s just the devil playing on previous loss. God knows us and our needs, He is in control, and He is good!
If she needs a support buddy, I’m here! We are cheering for them:) Please keep us updated and tell her there are more prayers headed her way!
First, I love the blog , second you guys are amazing!! I read this & it’s simply amazing..faith & prayer that is! Believing is seeing sometimes & this post proves that. Thanks for sharing this touching post . Happy & healthy thoughts to momma & baby for a safe/happy delivery !
Paige.Rose
From
http://www.TheQuaintSanctuary.blogspot.com
I had got a message from my daugther of how much she thanks God for giving her me as a mom. I told her she was my angel and that no time or money mattered more than getting to go see her.
I was just praying and crying this morning thinking about my children. My daughter here thats alive and my son gone on to be with Jesus.
I was thinking my daughter is truly an angel from heaven and how I know I would have already drowned in this heartache and agony I face daily for two years facing my sons death.
You see he had muscular dystrophy, they said he would not walk or live long. He walked until he was in his 20s. He lived to be 34. The doctors were amazed he wasnt in a wheelchair at a younger age. He was such a loving child and everyone was his friend.
Then I get up and read all this and it encouraged me so much. I know God let me see this for a reason. Thanks for your words of hope. God doesn’t make mistakes and he has the last word in every situation. I will be praying. They only know about the 1% but God has the 99% in his hands.
Thank you for sharing these powerful words that were so needed today. Jesus left the 99 and sought the one, this child is a blessing, so happy for them.
That was so beautiful, and a wonderful reminder of God’s faithfulness.
Thank you for sharing!
Cried reading this. Everyones circumstances are different but our God never changes and I am grateful for His Love. Thank you for sharing this; I am so encouraged.
Thank you so much Maria! 🙂
I’ve been the one texting and praying, I hope all continues well!!!!
Bridget, I can certainly identify with your sorrow because we lost our son much too early. I wasn’t able to give birth, but God in his great mercy, allowed us to adopt a son and a daughter. He lived to be 24, and our daughter is now 44 and such a blessing! We also have 5 grandchildren. God is soooooo good and we are most grateful. Betty
Wow this is so beautifully written! yes we must praise Him at all times! Trust in Him with all of our heart!