• Home
  • Privacy Policy
  • Contact
    • Collaborate
  • Blog
  • Parties
    • Children’s Parties Ideas
    • Holiday Parties
    • Adult Party Ideas
  • Holiday Ideas
    • Christmas
    • Easter
    • Fourth of July
    • Spring
    • Thanksgiving
    • Valentine’s Day
  • Seasons
    • Winter
    • Spring
    • Summer
    • Autumn
  • Recipes
    • Appetizers
    • Beverages
    • Desserts
    • Main Dishes
    • Side Dishes
    • Soups
  • Project Gallery
    • Crafts
    • Decorating
    • DIY
    • Good Ideas
    • Tutorials
  • Shop My Home
  • Nav Social Menu

    • Bloglovin
    • Email
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter

At The Picket Fence with Vanessa Hunt

Where Ideas for your Home Meet Inspiration for your Heart

  • Book
  • Speaking
  • Meet Vanessa
    • Featured

April 11, 2015

Crystal Glasses and Paper Napkins

I’ve always been very hard on myself.

The whole idea of extending grace to others is a far easier concept for me to grasp than extending it to myself. And for years, one of the ways this manifested in my life was in a constant striving for perfection. If I do all of the ‘right’ things and make all of the ‘right’ choices then everything in my life will be ‘right’…right? 😉

Of course, even as I type out those words I realize once again how absolutely ridiculous that sounds.

Because, the reality was, there has been much in my life that hasn’t gone ‘right’ even when I thought I was making the ‘right’ choices. I’ve talked a little bit about that here and here.

cherry blossom centerpiece atthepicketfence.com

Years ago, when I first began hosting special occasions in my home, I would carefully plan out every single detail and agonize if I realized I had forgotten something.

And, in the process, I drove my family crazy. You see, while I would greet the guests at the door with a big smile on my face and arms opened wide, those poor souls living here with me knew that only minutes (or even seconds!!) before, I was running around like a banshee, barking orders and freaking out if anything was out of place.

How fun for them, right? 😉

Eventually, no one really wanted to have people over. Including me. Hosting went from being less about showing others hospitality and more about showing others how ‘together’ we were. When we really weren’t!

spring table setting atthepicketfence.com

So I prayed that God would release me from this perfectionism. This need to have everything so ‘right’.

And you know what? He did!

He helped me understand how much I was getting in my own way. And I’ve come to learn the real meaning of hospitality. And not just hospitality as it’s shown to guests but also (and maybe more importantly!) how it’s shown to those living right here in my home.

But, you know what else God helped me understand?

That being released from perfectionism didn’t mean I had to let go of some of the things that are just inherently ‘me’.

Things like enjoying setting a pretty table.

Don’t get me wrong, there are plenty of times when hosting at our house simply means pizza and beer.

But, there is just something about setting a table for a holiday that feels so timeless. So traditional. And I’m definitely a traditional kind of girl.

For Easter this year though, I gave myself a break. One I probably wouldn’t have given myself all those years ago when I first began hosting holidays.

Oh sure, there was china and chargers and a linen tablecloth. We even used my husband’s grandmother’s silver which was given to us as a wedding gift.

But the centerpiece took all of 5 minutes. Fresh cherry blossoms from trees in my backyard put in simple glass vases and surrounded by battery operated candles.

simple easter tablescape atthepicketfence.com

And when it came time to put out the napkins I paused. Because, well, I really didn’t want to have to wash cloth napkins. I knew that at the end of that day I was going to be wiped out. And the thought of ANOTHER load of laundry was just one thing too many on this already crazy weekend.

Now the old me would have felt like I needed to just suck it up and get out those cloth napkins.

But now, well, now I know how to make the best choice for me and my family.

spring place setting with paper napkins

And now I know that vintage silver can still look beautiful on paper napkins.

Who knows? Maybe next year there will be paper plates on those gold chargers!

It’s a slippery slope folks. 😉

Vanessa signature

P.S. We’re so thrilled to welcome Decor Steals as a sponsor here At the Picket Fence! Every day there is a fabulous new deal and frankly we are having a hard time not buying every single one of them!

decor steals

 

12 Comments Filed Under: Decorating, Devotionals, Easter, Holidays, Spring

Subscribe

Get the latest goodness straight to your inbox!

Previous Post: « Repurposed Recipe Card Holder
Next Post: Taking Down the Blinds »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Hope Williams says

    April 11, 2015 at 3:08 AM

    Good morning Vanessa. Balance. It sounds so simple and yet so hard to find. True story. I used to stand behind my first husband waiting for him to finish at the bath vanity so I could clean it. True, so sadly true!
    Now, it’s my dust and I’ll clean it when I’m ready! Funny how in the process of finding balance we tend to jump over to the other side. Again, landing in the same situation.
    I just turned fifty and I should not have! Im still here for the simple fact that God is good every day. God wanted me to find life and not so much balance. After surviving so much and fighting daily just to stay alive threatened more than just my existence, it almost took my ability to enjoy the simple pleasures of this life.
    For me is was the laughter, a smile, hug, friends, the real essentials of a simple life. I’m learning to live again, slowly. But God gave me “right now” and “so far”. I found that “so far” is perfect! In every way. For today, life is the gift, so far….but the rest of the day is looking really good!
    I pray you enough in all things for today, so far today….

    Reply
  2. Janet says

    April 11, 2015 at 5:09 AM

    I love your story! We must be twins! When everyone would say “you’re so organized!”, I always felt a little guilty. If they only knew what a wreck I was 15 minutes before they arrived! Oh well, there’s nothing wrong with paper napkins and silver. Maybe it will be a new trend! ….. or it already is and we’re just to frazzeled to notice. 🙂 Thanks for sharing!

    Reply
  3. Brenda says

    April 11, 2015 at 5:16 AM

    I can so relate to your post…I LOVE having friends over for a specially-planned meal, and setting a beautiful table. I LOVE planning the meal and deciding just how to make the table beautiful, how to make my guests feel the love I have for them and how special their friendship is to me.. The problem…we are never invited to their home???? One evening, I overheard one of my guests say to another guest, “I could never do this, it’s so intimidating!” I could not believe it! I just wish they realized how much joy it brings me, that it is something I LOVE to do. Anyway, I am not going to let a little thing like that, stop me from doing what I love. 🙂 (suggestions appreciated). Oh, by the way…where did you find those lovely paper napkins???

    Reply
  4. Pamela says

    April 11, 2015 at 7:26 AM

    Great story ,that was encouraging,thank you. Love the napkins they were pretty. Have a Blessed weekend.

    Reply
  5. Melanie C. says

    April 11, 2015 at 9:32 AM

    Thank you for being so transparent and connecting with the rest of us who struggle with this exact same disease. I have finally come to a place of rest about many of the same issues. For years I thought that my worth and value in life was based on the amount of effort I put into making my home look great, my clothes fashionable or my knowledge of pop culture relevant but all of that was just a façade because inside I had never truly accepted God’s grace, mercy or appreciation for who I was. I had the head knowledge but the truth of my worth hovered teasingly over my soul like a beautiful hummingbird over a flower. So glad you are gaining freedom and perspective from the lies of perfection = happiness. Continue sharing and encouraging others. These chains can be broken! From one banshee to another.

    Reply
    • At The Picket Fence says

      April 11, 2015 at 12:21 PM

      LOL!! Definitely from one banshee to another. 😉 Thank you so much for your encouraging words. It’s so nice to know we aren’t alone in our struggles!

      Reply
  6. Sue. says

    April 11, 2015 at 9:53 AM

    this is so timely , I am having an 80th party for my mom today…with the help of my 2 sisters. Let go of perfectionism will be my motto. Enjoy the family and have fun! Thanks, I needed that!

    Reply
  7. laura@top this top that says

    April 11, 2015 at 12:43 PM

    i know first hand that paper plates look fabulous on any charger! 🙂 Good for you! Those napkins are really cute. I am forever buying paper products when ever I see them on clearance after a holiday. You should start too!

    Reply
  8. Sue Tait says

    April 11, 2015 at 10:34 PM

    Oh my, Apparently I am a member of a very Large Group of BANSHEES… Hahaha… And what good company to be in!

    I also have begun to figure out what is more important and what is less important, and having enough food that tastes good, and serving it in a relaxed atmosphere far outweighs having the perfect linen napkins and the best china on the table. There is nothing wrong with pretty paper plates on your holiday table. The good company and easy mood of the hostess is far more enjoyable to the guest and a lot easier on the hostess’ nerves. (Therefore more enjoyable for HER). And what is the main point of having company for dinner anyway? For them to Enjoy the evening, but ALSO for you to enjoy it with them.

    I was not always this way, but have found that it is so much better for my guests that I have become more and more this way NOW…

    Thank you Vanessa for sharing this. You have really hit the target with me this time!

    Love your page, and all your stories…

    Sue

    Reply
  9. Linda says

    April 12, 2015 at 7:38 AM

    first, where did you get those napkins?? 2nd glad you shared your story. Seems it is similar to many of us creative with perfectionism tendencies women. nothing wrong with pretty tables; everything wrong with the crazy often meaness that comes out because of the perfection quest. 3rd it can be overcome! Happy Sunday! Linda

    Reply
    • At The Picket Fence says

      April 12, 2015 at 8:07 AM

      Thank you so much Linda! And the napkins are from Tuesday Morning. 🙂

      Reply
  10. Donnamae says

    April 12, 2015 at 11:32 AM

    It takes most of us decades to figure out what you’ve figured out about hosting…I speak from personal experience. I used to be a nervous wreck…and yes, there was yelling involved too. Somewhere along the way, I discovered that a clean home, good food and a smile will overcome just about any inadequacies I thought my home had. And, I always, always use paper napkins! 😉

    Reply

Leave a Reply to Sue Tait Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recipe Rating




Primary Sidebar

Search This Blog

Get the book!

Invite Vanessa to speak at your event!

Stay updated!

  • A New Look for the Family Room

    A New Look for the Family Room
  • Honey Tea Cake Loaf with Lemon Glaze

    Honey Tea Cake Loaf with Lemon Glaze
  • The Slow Exit

    The Slow Exit
  • Honed Quartzite Kitchen Counters Reveal

    Honed Quartzite Kitchen Counters Reveal

Sign Up and Never Miss A Post!

Must Reads

Latest Recipes

Strawberry Muffins with Lemon Glaze

Honey Tea Cake Loaf with Lemon Glaze

Apple Bread Pudding

view more recent recipes

Recent Posts

  • Decorating a Sofa Table May 31, 2023
  • Strawberry Muffins with Lemon Glaze April 19, 2023
  • Console Table Refresh March 24, 2023
  • Laundry Room Makeover February 23, 2023
  • Winter Decorating Ideas January 27, 2023

Footer

Stay Connected!

Instagram

“No man is entitled to the blessings of freedom “No man is entitled to the blessings of freedom unless he be vigilant in its preservation.”
General Douglas MacArthur

Grateful today and every day for those who were vigilant to the point of death in the preservation of our freedom and the principles upon which our country was founded. May we honor their sacrifice by being vigilant too. #memorialday
I’ve been on the lookout for small side tables t I’ve been on the lookout for small side tables to pit next to our outdoor couch and when I spotted these plant stands at @walmart from their @betterhomesandgardens line I knew they would be perfect…and they are!! 👏🏻 This is not a sponsored post. I’m just happily sharing this great find and why we should always be open to thinking outside of the box when it comes finding solutions for our decorating dilemmas.

Now we’re ready to head into this beautiful weekend! ☀️
What do you do when you want to use a bunch of boo What do you do when you want to use a bunch of books in your decorating but it can cost $50 or more for just ONE brand new book? Head to the secondhand bookstore of course! I’m so excited about this new look in my family room and this easy, inexpensive decorating tip I’m bringing to you for this #tiptuesday
Today feels like one of those days that is worthy Today feels like one of those days that is worthy of a chef’s kiss. Blue sky with nary a cloud in sight, perfect mid-70’s temps, a gentle breeze blowing through my hair as I walk around my yard to see the status of my flowering plants.

This morning I was running errands and the weight of hard things that are happening in the world, the culture, my own community and even in our circle of friends just felt so heavy.

But, as I was exiting a store, I passed a couple who were in their late 60’s/early 70’s and holding hands as they walked through the parking lot. I happened to glance over just as the husband lifted his wife’s hand up and planted a kiss right on it. It was a moment that reflected such love and tenderness and it was made sweeter by the fact that they weren’t spring chickens. I felt honored that I had been the one to observe and appreciate that moment.

What an incredible thing it is that as humans we are able to hold so many emotions in our souls all at once. To feel sorrow for the pain a friend is enduring, grieve the decline of a culture drifting further from the Lord, ponder how to navigate a challenging school situation, marvel at and enjoy the beauty of creation right outside my door and feel joy at getting to see a tangible example of lasting love while walking through a parking lot.

I truly believe that as we mature in our lives and in our faith, we learn to embrace the tension that comes with the collision of different emotions and recognize that they can all coexist at the same time without one taking something away from another. Simple joys make the hard stuff a bit easier and hard stuff makes us appreciate those simple joys even more.

What’s a simple joy that you are thankful for today?
Oh what an absolutely lovely weekend we had!! Here Oh what an absolutely lovely weekend we had!! Here are some highlights…

*Friday night I joined some wonderful ladies at church for a time of fellowship and yummy desserts. I made a strawberry lemon coffee cake and it was amazing if I do say so myself. ☺️ We are new-ish to this church and have just felt so warmly welcomed and folded in which has been very healing.

*Saturday was filled with getting our outdoor spaces spiffed up and my guys got our new table put together!

*Sitting outside for lunch with a yummy salad and iced tea felt like a little slice of heaven.

*Sunday we went to the iris gardens with my in-laws and then came home for naps and the most mouth watering ribs that my sweet husband had on the smoker all day.

*This glorious weekend ended with some ferocious rounds of UNO-corn (a hilarious version of UNO) and brownies my sweet daughter made for our dessert.

How was your weekend sweet friends? 🌸
I am absolutely and completely a better version of I am absolutely and completely a better version of myself when the sun is shining! Raise your hand if this is true for you too.

And, not only do I feel myself seeming to physically rise up from a slumbered state to greet the sunshine we've been longing for, I find that it seems like my house is rising up too. Every room, every nook and cranny (even though I now see dust bunnies that I missed during my cleaning on the dreary days), every leaf and flower outside...it's all coming to life and breathing fresh hope into my spirit. What a gift it is to be able to enjoy this home in all of the seasons of the year and of our lives. Now, I'm going to head outside and clean our deck and maybe there will be some time leftover for those dust bunnies!
I’m slightly obsessed with these glass dispenser I’m slightly obsessed with these glass dispensers! They come with pre-made labels for SO many different options and would make a great Mother’s Day gift! I love how they add a bit of pizzazz to my kitchen. And they go perfectly with some of my antique accessories like the little dish my mother in law gave me for salt and pepper and the tiny toothpick holder which belonged to my great grandmother. 

If you’d like the link to order them, just leave a comment with the word ‘bottles’ and I’ll send it your way. They’re even on sale right now! 🙌🏻
The lilacs are coming! The lilacs are coming! This The lilacs are coming! The lilacs are coming! This is what I’m thinking (and sometimes saying out loud) every time I pass my dining room window and see my lilac tree bursting forth. I should probably just go full Paul Revere and ring a bell while I shout the news for all to hear. I’m sure my family would love that!

Lilac season is so bittersweet because it’s over way too soon but, fortunately, I’ve figured out how to capture the deliciousness of the fragrance by making my own lilac scented room spray. It’s SO simple!

Directions: Fill spray bottle with 50/50 ratio of water to vodka.

Add 12 drops of lilac oil. Give it a shake, spray and if the scent isn’t strong enough, simply add a few more drops of lilac oil.

This sweet little project was first featured in my book Life in Season and is definitely one of my favorites.

Have the lilacs started blooming where you live?
The cherry blossoms on the tree in our backyard ar The cherry blossoms on the tree in our backyard are at their peak and I’m here for it!
It’s time for another #tiptuesday! One of the gr It’s time for another #tiptuesday! One of the greatest joys of this stage in my parenting journey is getting to see the results of the years spent pouring into my children. The worry, the sleepless nights, praying, questioning our decisions and learning to trust in the Lord Who loves them even more than we do. We definitely didn’t do everything right, but what an an amazing experience it is to watch them become these incredible teens/young adults. My tip this week might seem simple, but I believe it can make a major difference in the lives of our children, in our homes and maybe, just maybe, in the culture too. 🌸
Load More... Follow
Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2023 · Divine theme by Restored 316

Copyright © 2023 At The Picket Fence