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At The Picket Fence with Vanessa Hunt

Where Ideas for your Home Meet Inspiration for your Heart

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August 4, 2017

Four Words That Wreck Us

Happy Friday sweet friends! We are so thrilled to have our friend Jennifer Watson with us today sharing from her heart something that we know we can all relate to. Please help us welcome her to the picket fence!

 

I had shreds of memories swirling and used Kleenex’s in my lap as I sat in a counselor’s office. It was wintertime and felt myself sinking again. Some call it seasonal depression. Some call it going through hell and back a few times. Either way, it’s pretty brutal.

I’m an over-achiever when it comes to dealing with my issues so I took out my prayer journal on those nights of endless wrestling with thoughts and sheet covers. I had figured out my root of depression. It was only four words, but those four words took me down toxic trails that caused me to try harder and spend myself to the point of exhaustion. I was just the human version of a show dog jumping through hoops.

The words rolled out and clarity came.

I told her those four words and how those four words took on a much larger shape of unrealistic expectations. Those four words became a foundation that I built upon- walls and rooms filled with striving and measuring sticks.

The devil is a punk, he’s using the same tricks on all of us. It’s the same four words on repeat.

I am not enough.

Later those four words became “I am not okay.”

But…

For every lie we believe, there is a more powerful, stronger truth found in God’s word.

I started praying scriptures. Sometimes I could only pray one-worded prayers like, “Help.” But, I knew that was enough because I learned the power of a God who specializes in wordless groans. The Spirit helps us in our weakness, when we don’t know what to pray for- the Spirit himself intercedes for us through those wordless groans. (Romans 8:26)

I learned how to take thoughts captive and figured out that it was possible for me to be the boss of my emotions instead of my emotions bossing me.

When those feelings surface and try to take the shape of those four very small words that used to feel like the biggest punch in the face, I shut it all-the-way-down.

I’m not a good wife.

Daughter.

Friend.

I don’t call enough.

Do enough.

Reach out enough.

Cook enough.

If real love is unconditional, why on earth was I working so hard to earn it?

It all came from a sweet and sincere place of wanting to love and serve and be, but people-pleasing is my Kryptonite.

Do I want to be and do everything for my family and friends? Yes, I truly do. But, I know that my love is fierce and loyal and grace-giving so I trust that my people can love me back like that.

Do I still try hard? Of course, I do.

But, this time I know that I am enough even when I’m not, even when I’m too much and all over the map. Even when I say too much, or too little.

I know that when I’m weak God is more than enough. He is the firm foundation I need and the supplier of grace that never runs out.

With every lie there is a stronger, more powerful truth.

There are treasures hidden in dark places. Sometimes we have to mine for the diamonds feeling alone and unseen. We have to dig in his word and go to counseling and do the hard work to be free. This is our hope, we can build on those four words, “I am not okay,” with four more words knowing that it will not always be like it is now. “I am not okay” becomes, “But, I will be” because “My God is enough.”

My God is able. My God is big enough to handle everything concerning me.

My God is faithful. He will never leave for forsake me.

My God is loving. Because he conquered hell and the grave, I know he is well able to heal the pain inside of me.

Our shame-free strategy is this- we are a work in progress continually growing into the likeness of Christ. We can walk in faith instead of being ruled by our feelings. God will always be enough.

And I will give you treasures hidden in the darkness–secret riches. I will do this so you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, the one who calls you by name. (Isaiah 45: 3)

Thank you so much Jennifer for being so vulnerable and reminding us of how important it is that we lean into the truth of God’s word.

You can find more wonderful articles like this one on Jennifer’s website and follow her on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram

And, as always, thank you so much for meeting us at the fence today! 

5 Comments Filed Under: Devotionals, Faith Tagged With: Faith, God

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Comments

  1. betty ann says

    August 4, 2017 at 6:01 AM

    this was so powerful.. brought tears to my eyes.. thank you for your well written “gift”..

    Reply
  2. Peggy says

    August 4, 2017 at 7:20 AM

    Thank you for including this sweet message in your blog! Unless you have been there, it is hard to explain how a woman who appears to have it all together, all the time, has such deep, dark moments of doubt. Jennifer is so right…God’s love, strength, comfort and promises are the foundation in which we can regain our balance and plant our feet on solid ground. I think that as daughters of the King we should encourage our sisters in Christ at all times…limit the critiques, the criticism, the comparisons.You never know how hard a battle that sister is fighting inside…chances are, she is judging herself more harshly than you can imagine.

    Reply
  3. Bonnie says

    August 4, 2017 at 8:35 AM

    Jennifer, thank you so much for sharing. I have always struggled with the same problem of not being good enough. As I’ve gotten older, it’s gotten much better as I’m learning to accept myself warts and all. I am learning that I would not need a Savior if I was perfect and I’m learning to forgive myself quicker and not look back whenever I screw up or miss the mark even in small ways.

    Reply
  4. Susan says

    August 4, 2017 at 1:15 PM

    Oh my goodness Jennifer, thank you for sharing your story! I do believe that you have helped someone in sharing this! Grace and peace Jennifer!

    Reply
  5. Julie Briones says

    August 16, 2017 at 5:21 PM

    Wonderful truths. Thanking the Lord for being all sufficient for us!

    Reply

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I’m never.going.back to stressful, time-consumin I’m never.going.back to stressful, time-consuming seasonal decorating. When I think back on the years where I would feel all of the pressure to come up with something fresh and creative I’m seriously embarrassed. Truly. Because it was such a waste. A waste of my time, my energy, my resources. Something clicked with me a few years ago. I was just done. I needed to simplify. I needed to not spend an obscene amount of time looking at fireplace mantels on Pinterest and trying to figure out how to make mine look amazing. I needed to put it all in the proper place in my heart and my mind. Which meant, it had to go waaaaayyyy down on the priority list. So far down it almost wasn’t on it. And I needed to confess to the Lord that I had allowed it to become an idol. 

Yes, I want to have a home that I enjoy. Yes, I love pretty things. But something really amazing happened when I finally released it all. When I decided to not give into the pressure and panic I would feel when I would scroll through my Instagram feed. When I just laid it all down and said…enough. There was this incredible irony in it. Because, the less time I took to decorate my home for each season, the more I found myself loving the results. I think that all along I had just been getting in my own way. It’s really taken a lot of time and prayer for me to finally be at a place where even though I still struggle with insecurities and I still have doubts from time to time, I’m becoming increasingly more confident in who God created me to be. And, just like my home, I’m finding that as I relax into myself, letting go of the comparisons and the pressure, the more I can actually lean into the calling He has placed on my life. 🍂

Leave a comment if you can relate! 

#wearethehomemakers #homemaking
“As the alluring song of September begins to whi “As the alluring song of September begins to whisper in my ear, my passionate spirit yearns for the splendor of its promise.” (Peggy Toney Horton)

Happy September dear friends! While I’m not quite ready to let go of summer and I plan to make the most out of the lingering, warm days, I’ll admit to starting to think about my fall decor this year. And one way to get inspired is to take a look back at previous years. Here’s just a glimpse at some of the ways I’ve welcomed Autumn to my home! 🍂

#september #falldecorating #falldecor #falldecoratingideas #wearethehomemakers
Labor Day weekend might mean that we’re turning Labor Day weekend might mean that we’re turning the corner and getting closer to fall but I’m not quite ready to let summer go. So I’ll just be over here continuing to whip up some super simple summer meals for my family that frankly can be enjoyed in any season. These shrimp rolls I made the other night were definitely a hit and would be great for any of your upcoming holiday weekend gatherings!

Shrimp Rolls 🍤

Ingredients
1-2 lbs of shrimp that is peeled, deveined and tail off (If using frozen make sure it’s thawed completely)
1/3 cup mayonnaise 
1/2 of a lemon
2 Tbsps chopped scallions
1 Tbsp chopped dill
1 Tbsp chopped Italian parsley
1 Tsp of Old Bay seasoning (more if you like!)
pinch of sea salt and pinch of black pepper
Hoagie Rolls
Softened butter

Directions: Gently pat the shrimp with a paper towel to remove any excess moisture. Roughly chop the shrimp and place in a bowl. Add mayonnaise, squeeze half of lemon and stir to combine before adding in the scallions, dill and parsley. Stir to combine and then add the additional seasonings. Spread butter on hoagie rolls and toast in the oven until lightly browned. Pile on the shrimp mixture and enjoy! 

#shrimproll #foodie #weeknightdinner #easydinner #seafoodlover
Today has been a very Monday-ish kind of Monday. W Today has been a very Monday-ish kind of Monday. We woke up to the sound of chainsaws and rushed downstairs to find that our backyard neighbors were having two of the huge trees that line our shared fence removed. These trees have been here longer than the neighborhood and no, they weren't dead or causing damage to roofs, foundations, etc. They were beautiful and gave us wonderful privacy. We had no notice of this happening so this came as quite a shock. Because we were given no notice, we didn't have the chance to cover our outdoor furniture or plants and everything is now coated in a thick layer of sawdust including the fresh bark we recently put in the garden beds. And now our lovely privacy is gone, replaced by a direct view of an above ground pool and RV. I know, I know, it's totally a first world, privileged kind of problem to have. But, now we have to spend thousands of dollars on plants to try and recapture some semblance of privacy. Now we have days worth of clean up to do after we had JUST done a massive freshening up of our backyard. My overarching feeling has just been weariness at the way our world is today.

I think about how often we try to do right by people, to be respectful and courteous. To be thoughtful and considerate. And it’s not reciprocated. How its starting to seem more and more like people have just given up on those seemingly small niceties. And my soul just feels heavy. Because I feel like so much of what used to be common courtesy is not so common anymore. Drivers on the roads are angrier and more reckless than ever before. Red lights being run are an everyday occurrence around town. On our recent family vacation, I heard more people using the F word out in public than ever before even while around children. Where are manners? Where is kindness? I'm finding myself being surprised when someone is thoughtful because it seems like a rarity. And that's just all on a micro, local level. Don't even get me started on the insanity in our world/culture. After I returned from grocery shopping (which can also be soul crushing), I found myself desperate for a reminder of the truth. 

*Part 2 continued in the comments.*
How often is it in our lives that we don’t fully How often is it in our lives that we don’t fully grasp our strengths or our weaknesses until we are put to the test? Little did I know how much I would love my role as a wife, mother and homemaker until I became one. And that in my endeavor to do those roles to the best of my ability, it would bring to the forefront gifts and talents and blessings that I use outside of these walls.

As I water others, I’m watered too because it brings such joy to care for those around me. But it can also make me see more clearly the areas in which I’m lacking and be a very humbling reminder of how much I still need to grow and learn.

Proverbs 11:25 says, “Whoever brings blessing will be enriched and one who waters will himself be watered.”

Have you done any ‘watering’ of others this week? How has it blessed and ‘watered’ you in return?
“Mom, this is one of my favorite meals that you “Mom, this is one of my favorite meals that you make.” Statements like this from my kids fill me with so much joy and such a sense of assurance that my role as the maker of this home is one that makes an impact on them in both big and small ways. It’s not just sheet pan shrimp boil. 

It’s nourishment
It’s time together around the table
It’s laughing as we try to get the butter sauce out of the pan
It’s a memory
It’s an imprint on their lives 

The ordinary act of making a meal becomes EXTRAordinary. And I try to keep that in mind as I do this task day in and day out, year after year. 

***

Ingredients: 
1 pound baby red or yellow potatoes
Green beans or corn (4 ears cut in half) whichever you prefer
1/2 cup unsalted butter, melted
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 tablespoon Old Bay seasoning
1/2 tsp coarse sea salt and pinch of black pepper 
1 pound medium shrimp, peeled and deveined
1 (12.8-ounce) package smoked andouille sausage, thinly sliced
Crusty bread for dipping 

Directions:
Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Lightly oil a baking sheet or coat with nonstick spray. In a large pot of boiling salted water, cook potatoes until just tender, about 10 minutes. Put potatoes, shrimp, sausage and green beans or corn on baking sheet. Pour butter over top. Sprinkle with old bay seasoning and salt and pepper. Mix well to combine. Bake for about 12 minutes or until shrimp is pink. 

#shrimpboil #sheetpandinner #sheetpanmeals #homemaking
Temperatures in the 100’s call for fresh and lig Temperatures in the 100’s call for fresh and light cocktails! My husband is my own built in bartender and he put this together the other night. 

2 jiggers of gin (you could also use vodka) 
*you should do a jig when using a jigger 😉*
Crushed ice 
Grapefruit tonic 
Squirt of lime 
Sprig of mint 

Easy and so refreshing!! ☀️

#cocktails #summercocktails
There is something magical about the late summer e There is something magical about the late summer evenings. Maybe it’s because we have a greater sense of the fact that these long days are slowly shortening and we want to savor them as much as we can. I know I intend to do just that. 

I hope you’re having a wonderful August so far dear friends!
Variations of this recipe are on repeat at our hou Variations of this recipe are on repeat at our house all summer long. We’re big on the ‘build your own’ method of making dinner especially on very hot days. Simplicity for the win! 
#recipes #easydinner #easydinnerideas #homemaking
In music, rhythm is a regular repetition or a grou In music, rhythm is a regular repetition or a grouping of beats. No matter what else a piece of music has in terms of its pitch or tone, the rhythm never changes. Its the stabilizing force and brings order to a composition that would be completely chaotic without it.

The same can be said of rhythms in our lives and in our homes. When everything else feels out of control, rhythms and patterns provide us with stability and something that we can rely upon to give us a sense of security in a very insecure world. But, too often, we associate the rhythmic things we do in our lives as merely tasks to be gotten through rather than gifts which provide much-needed balance.

Whether it’s making the coffee every night before we go to bed or doing my devotional in the morning before the rest of the house wakes up or watering my garden, these simple tasks provide a rhythm to my day that is truly grounding. 

What’s something that you do that you would classify as a rhythm or pattern in your week?
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