On Monday mornings I do my grocery pickup. I drive up, they load the back of my car with my groceries and I drive home. It’s glorious!
But when I got home and began unloading and putting things away in my kitchen, all of a sudden I just felt a wave of sadness wash over me. There was no one thing that brought it about. It was just an overwhelming feeling of being…well…overwhelmed.
I think it may have something to do with this newfound awareness of the fact that what is weird about our lives these days has now somehow become more normal. And that when we go back to normal it will feel weird.
Here in Oregon, kids are not back in school, there are still many restrictions and mandates (we are listed in the top 10 most restricted states) and every time I leave the comfort of my home and venture out I am reminded of these strange times we’ve been living in now for 8 months.
I stood there holding a carton of eggs in one hand and a box of pasta in the other and felt paralyzed as tears threatened to spill from my eyes. What I really wanted to do was just crawl back into bed and pull the covers over my head and not come out for the rest of the day. But as I forced myself to keep putting away the groceries, I spotted the can of pureed pumpkin in a bag and decided that we needed some pumpkin bread in this house stat! And then I decided that I didn’t care if it’s still only October, I was going to listen to some instrumental Christmas music while I pulled together the ingredients because I knew it would lift my spirits.
As I sifted flour and added spices, the doorbell rang. I assumed it was an Amazon delivery (always a safe assumption) but when I peeked around the corner I saw my neighbor’s face in the window. My dear neighbor who has stage four cancer. I hurried over to open the door and she handed me a plate of pumpkin bars. She said that she was so grateful for all we’d been doing to help them (seriously so little in the scheme of things!) and that she had felt well enough yesterday to do some of her own baking. We chatted for a few minutes before she had to go and as I went back into the kitchen to finish preparing the bread I felt overwhelmed again. But this time with a totally different emotion.
It was gratitude to the Lord for the perspective He had just given me in the form of my hurting neighbor. Here I am wallowing in how strange my life feels while she is battling a terminal illness. Now, does that mean that I’m not allowed to feel my feelings and struggle with the things that feel hard in my own life? Of course not. God knows the number of hairs on my head and He wants me to bring everything to Him. But, I also believe that He wants me to put them in their proper place.
Perspective is actually a gift that He gives us. It’s an opportunity to realign our hearts so that we see our circumstances through His eyes and shift our attitude as a result. It doesn’t make our problems go away. But it does change how we see them. And I, for one, am so grateful for that reminder today.
What is helping you to change your perspective lately? Let’s chat!
This is so beautiful, so true. Thank you for writing from your heart.
Thank you for writing from your heart.
Thank you Kay!
Such a tender post, So glad to hear your neighbor is doing good, My heart so felt what you were experencing, as I go through the same thing here. Hugs to you,
Thank you Pam! It’s just nice to know we aren’t alone, right? Blessings!
We put into words what so many of us are feeling. Thank you.
Thank you Carol!
Thank you so much! This is just what I needed today!
Thank you Sally! I’m so glad it was timely. š
Thank you for your words–true words for the feeling being felt–not glossed over. We do have a right to those feelings but then you put it into prospective. I thank you for that also! It doesn’t mean that suddenly everything is ok–it was a moment to evaluate and go on. What an inspiration. I, too, have those heart crushing moments. Will I ever see my daughter again or hug my 16 year old grandson. Music also touches my soul and gives me moments of peace—but I’ve also been watching Christmas movies–yes they always have happy endings but sometimes we need to see some “miracles” to add to our day. Please continue to share all of those moments–we really are not much different–we just have different journeys to follow. God Bless!
Thank you so much Lin!
Thank you for sharing today. I really needed to hear this. God is good and faithful.
Blessings,
I also live in Oregon! Oregon City. I miss all ths simple things like being able to go pick out my own groceries, going to garage/yard/estate sales, visiting my favorite antique stores, craft store / thrift store shopping, going anywhere! I also miss my women writers group called Chrysalis and attending poetry readings. I survive because of my boyfriend/partner for life. He does his best to take care of me in all ways. I could not have survived this without him. I am blessed and grateful. He keeps me sane.
Oh my fellow Oregonian!! Isn’t it crazy here? I’m so glad you have a partner who is so supportive and caring. We all need each other now more than ever!
Bless your heart. It was brave of you to share your heart with us today. But you have helped give us all more compassion for one another and not feel so alone. Thank youā„ļø
Thank you so much Linda!
Thank you Vanessa for sharing so honestly. Here in Ohio we can come and go with masks, but very few places are still off limits. As I had dinner with a friend last week on a restaurant patio, I could almost pretend things are normal.
I work from home for a large local cancer hospital doing computer work. Lately I’ve been doing paid volunteer work at the hospital escorting patients in wheelchairs to their appointments as they are not allowed to have friends or family with them. Seeing their needs and hearing their stories always brings things back into perspective for me. I deal with each patient via their charts on the computer, but seeing them face to face makes them and their pain real. It has helped me in so many ways. Most of them are so sweet, thankful, and kind. They have no idea that they help me more than I help them.
What a gift you are to your patients Cindy and it sounds like they are a gift to you too! Thank you for sharing that. xoxo
Loved this because God never asks us to deny how we are feeling in the moment. God also gives the gift of empathy so we can put into perspective our feelings vs others but I have never likes the phrase that says….there is always someone out there that has it worse off. I don’t like that as it implies that I don’t have permission to feel how I am feeling because how I feel does not compare to others worse off. God wants us to allow our feelings as well as have perspective at the same time. How I feel is no less important than how your neighbor is feeling in Gods eyes all feelings are equally important to Him.
You are absolutely right Teresa! Thank you so much for your words!
I have been so blessed I should never complain about anything – but we all have concerns. I live in Alabama. Our numbers have risen so much since the beaches opened up, schools have opened, and sports have all begun. I wear a mask and practice social distancing, however my daughters monther-in-law and I have been keeping our grandsons 4 and 2 so we get to see them. My daughhter in a pharmacist and son-in-law works construction. I don’t get to see my precious daughter-in-law and son much at all. They are trying to get pregnant and she’s so cautious. Last week I sent her a text message just checking on her – she was having a blue day – another cycle and no baby. I took her lunch – went to her favorite places – Panera for soup & salad, Sonic for half & half tea, a local restaurant for cake and a smootie! Of course we couldn’t eat it all – but she was thrilled! It brightened her mood and she was “chatty Cathy”! We had the best time and I went home with a lighter load emotionally too! Thank you God!
What a wonderful mother-in-law you are Janet!! We need those connections so badly and it’s critical for our emotional health that we don’t isolate to much. Thank you for commenting and being apart of the community here!
As a retired nurse of 37years, I was reminded daily that there are many people who have bigger issues than I did/do. If I would get to feeling sorry for myself, for any reason, or depressed, I could always remind myself that I had patient’s with much worse issues than me!
God is good all the time, and wants us to thrive. Not everyday will things feel right or normal, but I try to think of those things that are still “normal” and hold onto those. Doing for others is also a way to help and feel useful. It brings joy to you and to the person on the receiving end.
You are so right Shelly! Thank you for your words of encouragement!
Vanessa, thank you for sharing this. These are challenging times for all of us and at some point over the last few months I am sure all of use have felt like crying. Keep your chin up, and sending prayers for your neighbor.
Thank you Elizabeth!
Such a beautiful post!
Thank you Marijean!
Iāve missed your posts! Thank you for this precious reminder of perspective. I get it. Overwhelming that often feels you arenāt allowed to feel…but are there none the less. Hang in there, sweet friend! Praying for us to return to restored health and kindness to be a priority in our world…and now your neighbor has been added to my prayer list, as well.
Thank you so much Leslie!!
Thank you for sharing! I think we are all on an emotional roller coaster. If the sun is shining, it’s a better day but when it is gray and cloudy, I feel the sadness and the weight of our new normal! Our minister has been very good at identifying our feelings and reminding us that God is still in control…nothing has happened in 2020 that he didn’t know about. No matter what happens, HE is greater than any virus, politician or sickness. However, I still take comfort in watching Leave it to Beaver and Andy Griffith reruns because it reminds me of a saner, safer time, LOL! My sister says she is confident that something good will come out of this, because when you’re a believer, God makes all things for good!
You are so right LeAnne and I’m grateful for your words of encouragement! It really is an emotional roller coaster but God is still on His throne and is Sovereign over all and we can take so much comfort in that. xoxo
Well said – and talk about heavenly timing.
Prayers for your sweet neighbor! May God be merciful to her.
Thank you so much Michele! xoxo
Not much to say that has not been by your readers but I just want to thankyou for your honesty. I even read it out loud to my husband and admitted to him how often I get weepy and feel overwhelmed. We are both in our 70s and this was not how we expected our golden years to be. Moved down to N.C to be closer to our daughters and our grandchildren and cannot even see them. So many bloggers write that these coming holidays will be different but you wrote honestly about how different our world has become. We all want to know .Will this ever end?
It’s just nice to know we aren’t alone isn’t it Kathy? I don’t know a single person who isn’t struggling especially those of us who are in states where so much is still closed. I’m so sorry you aren’t able to see your grandchildren! It’s just not ok what is happening and I hope we can all learn how to still live and enjoy our lives even when there is risk. It’s not really living life to the fullest otherwise if you ask me! Thank you for commenting!
Thank you your wonderful words. I have felt just like you and you expressed my feelings and my heart.
It is so wonderful to have a network of “friends” out there so I don’t feel so alone.
You are definitely not alone Deanne!! xoxo