Did you know that if something is very expensive the kids these days refer to as being so “Gucci”? Now, it doesn’t mean that it has to be the actual Gucci brand. According to my teenage son, it’s just a way to say that something costs a ridiculous amount of money and therefore must be very special. (I’m rolling my eyes as I type this.) Another word that is used regularly around here is ‘dope’. Don’t worry, this isn’t referring to drugs. It’s just another way of saying that something is ‘cool’, a slang word which has actually managed to stand the test of time.
There are many more slang words smattering my kids’ vocabulary these days and frankly it all just makes me feel old. My one consolation is that since it seems like the 80’s are making a resurgence (I’ve seen actual acid washed denim in the stores!!! Make it stop!!), there’s always the hope that words like ‘rad’ and ‘tubular’ might just make a comeback too.
But, the other day as I was scrolling through Instagram, I realized that there is one word that has become almost like a slang word within the home decorating community.
Farmhouse
Never before in my life have I seen that word used so often. It’s almost used as much on social media as the word ‘Fortnite’ is used in my house. And if you don’t know what ‘Fortnite’ is, be grateful. (Hint…it’s a video game.)
I’ve also noticed that people seem to be moving to farmhouses in droves. And, I’ll be perfectly honest, we’ve been looking for property for years. Not because we particularly want to be farmers, but because we would really love the space and quiet that is lacking in our neighborhood.
I was talking with my mom recently about the ‘farmhouse phenomenon’ and she couldn’t help but laugh. Because she grew up on an actual farm. And she lived in an actual farmhouse on that actual farm. So, to her, farmhouse style meant hard work. It meant being up before dawn to head out to the fields and helping her mom pluck the chickens. It meant having her own cow which she named ‘Polly’ and remembering how her dad was constantly looking at the sky, watching for storms.
I understand the appeal, I really do. In fact, it could be said that I have a few farmhouse-y style pieces in my own home. And I think one of the reasons that people tend to gravitate towards this look is because we correlate the word ‘farmhouse’ with a simpler way of life. And in today’s culture, a lot of us are craving more simplicity.
Our amazing real estate agent is swamped with clients who want their own farmhouse experience but we have very expensive slim pickings in our area of Oregon so for some it will always be just a dream.
But, what if that’s not your dream? What if you just want a plain ol’ house in a plain ol’ neighborhood?
What if you don’t want chicken wire hanging inside your cabinet doors or baskets on your walls? What if you realize you are so ‘blessed’ but you don’t want a wooden plaque reminding you of it every time you sit down on the toilet? What if you don’t want a coffee table made from a pallet? What if you don’t even…now, brace yourself…what if you don’t even want your walls covered in shiplap?!!
Well, that’s ok.
Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s not that I think you need me to tell you that it’s ok.
I guess I just feel the need to give voice to the fact that sometimes things might tend to get a tad bit overdone. And when those things are a bit overdone, when they overflow from the shelves of the stores and from those little squares we scroll through on our phones, sometimes we can wonder if maybe we’re missing something. Maybe we’re supposed to really like all of this stuff even if in our heart of hearts we know it’s not our style or our dream or our passion.
Or maybe we actually DO like it but it’s just all too much.
A strange thing happens to me when I see that everyone is doing the same thing at the same time. Whether it’s a book that is changing everyone’s lives or a show that everyone is watching or a style of decor that is gracing everyone’s homes, I have this bizarre rebellious streak that rises up in me and makes me NOT want to read that book or watch that show or decorate in that style.
And the sad part is that in and of themselves, those things might be things I would really enjoy having in my life. I might actually find encouragement in that book or joy in that show or pleasure in that way of decorating. But, the minute I feel any kind of pressure about them I just kind of want to run the other way. I’m weird. I know.
But, why do we have this tendency in our culture to take something that starts out so innocuous and beat the life out of it?
That’s really what trends are. They come in with a bang and go out with a fizzle and we’re left with either good or bad memories depending on how much we were influenced by that trend. I had really bad experiences with perms so my memories of that trend are pretty horrifying.
Many of you are thinking to yourself right about now, “But ‘farmhouse style’ isn’t a trend.” And you’re right. Capturing the essence of a farmhouse way of life is something we can all have whether or not we actually live in one.
But, I guess I just wonder if it might just be getting diminished a bit.
This is all my opinion, mind you. We can all do whatever we want in our homes because they are just that….OUR homes so, please take what I saw with a grain (or lots of grains!) of salt. But, I guess I’ve just reached a point in my life and in my decorating where I’m finding that I’m becoming less and less influenced by the trends.
You see, when I first started blogging I was very easily swayed by what I saw online. Just like the popular girls in school, you can be tempted to think that you might need to change yourself in order to be more like them. And I spent a good amount of time trying to get my decidedly nowhere near farmhouse style home to fit in. This was a costly mistake both in terms of time and money. So, I started doing things differently. Enter the aforementioned rebellious streak.
Yes, I do pick and choose trendy-ish things here and there that I like and think will work with my body type or the style of my home and don’t cost a lot of money, but I’m cautious about getting sucked in. To me, the most beautiful homes are the ones that look like they’ve been decorated over time, layer by layer.
And, when you think about it, that’s what true ‘farmhouse style’ is. It’s a home that has weathered storms and welcomed sunshine. Rooms which contain treasured family heirlooms and finds at a flea market. Spaces that are unique to their owners and reflect personality and character that can’t be manufactured.
I’m going to confess something to you. I’ve had this post mostly written for a couple of weeks yet but just couldn’t bring myself to actually publish it for fear of sounding critical. Because that’s not my heart. At all. My heart is simply to encourage all of us as we scroll through our phones and see those little squares with images in them to not feel like we need to make ourselves or our homes fit into those squares whatever the style. Yes, be inspired by them. Yes, glean from them. Yes, get excited when you see something that makes your heart go pitter-patter. Mostly, let’s just remember that the squares will all keep changing as time goes on. It’s the nature of the beast when it comes to trends.
But, one thing that doesn’t have to change is our desire to turn houses into homes that reflect our hearts. And my heart is very happy that you all meet me over and over again as I share my home with you.
Much love to you friends,
Beautifully said! Have a wonderful day Vanessa
Fabulous post, Vanessa and I do love a pretty farmhouse and some farmhouse style things, but when I see the same made in China products called farmhouse decor sold over and over by many different brands and shops I have grown tired of seeing those things. I do love the cozy feeling of farmhouse style, but not if the home is just filled with all new farmhouse decor items and the home begins looking like a store instead of a home.
Always glad to meet you at The Picket Fence! I always look forward to your posts. I love how you can speak from your heart and I am with you! May you be truly blessed with what you share with us! Blessings!
I agree… and forgive me for saying this, but it reflects a level of maturity. We have to come into our own, so to speak. We can appreciate trends, if they are really something we love. But otherwise we are just trying to be cool. And a home with personal style is so much more interesting. Thank you for your blog. It is inspiring and delightful.
Very well said. Most of these accounts I see overflowing with “Farmhouse chic” are girls and not women.
Very well said. I want our home to look like OUR home and not like everyone else’s! 😊
Vanessa, you have read my mind and my heart. I believe you can have too much of a good thing. As of late, I can feel my style shifting away from the “farmhouse trend”. Although farmhouses have been around forever, the decor has not. A while back I was walking through a large retail store and found myself surrounded by windmills, cotton stems, barn pictures and farmhouse signs. The thought that came to my mind was “Is this a little too much?” What if this is not your style, then how do you decorate? The farmhouse style decor is everywhere. It was an eye opener for me and I could feel things shift in me and in my home decor. I have never felt like our house was overly accessorized in farmhouse style but have incorporated antique furniture and some vintage finds. I will always love these timeless treasures but will pair them with more modern furnishings and simplified decor. This reflects my style rather than a design trend. My grandparents had a small farm and I always gravitated toward their simple lifestyle. That is what appeals to me more than a home filled with farmhouse decor. Thanks again for sharing this post. I think you will find more people are feeling or thinking the same way you are.
I feel the same way about the grey trend! So tired of everything grey…
Me as well. Ughhh
I get it and I agree! There is a particular book that is spreading like wildfire thru my groups of friends.
Therefore, I refuse to read it-at least now. I’ll probably read it later, but I won’t hop on that bandwagon.
I am a real farmgirl who grew up on a real farm and lived in a real farm house.
Excellently stated!
Thank you for sharing.
Thank you! I grew up on an “authentic” farm in Kansas. Mine nor any of my friends homes looked much like the pictures of all neutral colored, chicken wire, shiplapped spaces I love to steal ideas from. I’ve started displaying more family photos and memory laden pieces despite color, shape or size. I think it is my way of evolving to a style that says “home” to me.
Thank you! This is the first post that I have read of yours. I guess it showed up in my feed for a good reason. I grew up on a working farm and so in a real farmhouse. If my mother had hung up a sign saying “farmhouse”, Dad would have thought she was crazy. Yes things at home were simple, well worn and loved but in no way did it look like today’s “farmhouse style”. To each his own!
I agree with you completely!! Your post says everything that I’ve been thinking over the last few months. Most of the items on the market now are “not” farmhouse. My grandparents never used galvanized anything INSIDE their home — those were for use outside!! 😁. I find it sad to see something so overused like “farmhouse”.
Bravo! I could’t agree more. I tried a lot of the looks seen on HGTV, etc. and found that a lot of it just wasn’t me. I have finally learned to admire things from afar and just do what makes my home comfortable. Also, I like some color. So much beige! Another trend is the boho chic look, which is what I lean toward. So much more room for expression there. But, it all boils down to to each his own – just be true to yourself. It took me many years and wasted money to learn that. 😀
I agree with you. I too grew up in a farm house and it looked nothing like what is being called farmhouse today. I don’t care for the all white or gray walls. To stearl looking. Even though my walls are gray, I still have used splashes of red and green and brown. I remember when we were all on the country look bandwagon. So, this too shall pass.
Bravo for expressing what many of us are feeling! When I first started following various bloggers their homes were full of lovely color schemes and a variety of personal styles – wonderful and exciting “eye candy” that was rich and inspirational. Now so many of them look so similar. Dreary palettes of gray and white, furniture all painted in white and gray and accessorized with cotton, galvanized tin and sea grass rugs – and don’t forget the ship lap walls and sliding barn doors. It saddens me to see people with taste and talent fall victim to the trends.
What Kim said:-) I, too, tend to rebel when I see something over and over, and like I wrote on your insta post, my grandparents were farmers and I know exactly what farmhouse is — a lifestyle. We are on family property that started out as a pheasant farm, and through the years and generations, there has been real farming of some sort going on. My goal, though, in my home now, is to take all the things passed down, heirlooms, antiques, etc., and incorporate them into my home in my own way. It’s not “farmhouse” at all, but for me it’s more farmhouse than the bought in a store version, which lacks authenticity. Ultimately, I think we all need to be more authentic in the story we want our homes to tell about us, and there is uniqueness in that, regardless of style. I’ll sacrifice followers and sponsors and whatever else I need to in order to be true to myself. And Ill have something to pass down to my own children that truly belongs to them:-)
Amen to everything you said my friend!! Getting back to things that are more authentic and incorporating those heirloom pieces into our homes is something that I’m passionate about as well. You have always done this so well and I absolutely LOVE your home and your heart! 🙂
Beautiful sentiment!
Vanessa- such a great post- unique – is my favorite style.
Unique is a wonderful style Laura!
First of all, Vanessa, thank you! Thank you for putting into words that little cloud of “enough” I’ve had floating in the back of my head for the past year. Yes, I think farmhouse style, Fixer Upper, and all that good stuff is lovely but I’m so tired of it. It’s not my style, you see. I don’t like (horrors!) chippy paint – I love the beautiful patina glow of polished wood. And while shiplap looks adorable in some homes, it’s not coming into mine. No judgment, just different tastes. And I’ve been patient. I’ve waited while this trend, style, adventure fades off into the decor sunset (we know it will – everything does). But please, give me true art, not signs. Give me inspirational wallpaper, not (sorry!) shiplap. Give me color, not total whitewash. I started with “first of all” and here is my “and secondly” – If this makes you weird, then my dear, I will be right there with you holding hands and proudly waving our weird flag. Let’s hear it for creativity, individuality and personal style! All the best.
So many feel the same way Maggie!! I would love to see more variety too and you are so right, the trends come and go and we just have to stay true to what we love. Than you so much for your kind words!
To Thine Own Self Be True.
Great article.
Absolutely Michele!! Thanks so much for coming by!
Yes, yes and yes! I think people often get so lost in the trend that they forget to make it their own. Homes should reflect the lives and loves of the people who live there!
I absolutely agree Sharon! Thanks so much for stopping by!
well, Vanessa you may well have taken on Goliath here! I agree with you and thank you for putting words to my thoughts. When something wonderful is over used it really does beat the life out of it. I’ve had the big house on the acreage with the chickens, cows and pigs and while it was wonderful in that season. But it was so much work we moved back to the waterfront and bought a boat! We’ve been homemaking since the early 70s so have seen a lot of styles. We love our old country junk (we were country before country was cool 😏), much of it passed down, but it’s mixed in with our coastal chic just like our lives are a mixture of experiences. Personally, my rebellious streak comes out in the over use words on everything…I guess I don’t want my coffee cup telling me what to do. I thought about it recently and concluded that I repel when seeing those words but am invited in when I see scripture posted around the house. Seems I enjoy being rightly realigned by the Word, while man’s words just feel bossy.
I’m SO with you on words on everything Pamela!! We are both rebels that way I guess. 😉 I love that you guys bought a boat and have embraced an eclectic style and surroundings filled with pieces you love. Thanks so much for your comment!
Love this. And I laughed out loud when you mentioned being a rebel and not going with the current trends. I’m the exact same way, whehter it’s shows, books, styles, or whatever. Thanks for being true to yourself and encouraging others to do the same!
Rebels unite! 😉 Thanks for your kind words Angie!
I guess I can say I’ve had the “farmhouse” look before it was a trend. My husband grew up on a farm before his dad was transferred out of state. They had to leave many things behind so we were able to go to the farm and take whatever we wanted. My husband misses it to this day. I also have many antiques from my grandparents who were born in the late 1800s and early 1900s. Growing up I always wanted to live on a farm instead of the city. We now live in a small, but rapidly growing town. Oh yeah, my husband was 9 when they had to leave North Dakota for Montana. That was 50 years ago.
Hi Danna! That’s so wonderful that you have antiques which have been passed down. Treasures for sure! And yes, you were a trendsetter before it was even ‘trendy’. 😉
Vanessa, At last someone has said Farmhouse is over used. I grew up in a Victorian house with Southern Antiques. I am ninety two years old living in a Vctorian house with those same antiques plus a few additions. One day I thought I was really out of the loop not having any Farmhouse items around. i searched and found a purchase I had made years ago..it is a small pamphlet with chickens pictured on the cover and titled “Lay or Bust” It made me laugh out loud then and now. I laid it on the coffee table and said “Now you are in the farmhouse loop.” I really enjoyed your blog today. Jere
Love it ,Jere!
What a great post! I love “my” cottage style. Lots of old pieces mixed with new. Like you say, layering. I love color! Deep rich color, the kind that changes as the day evolves. Sometimes sun lit, and later darker more dramatic. No washy whites for me! I love florals, and fruits and animals, mixed in. A new lamp an old lamp. A dark green sofa, a floral chair. Cozy and comfortable.
Susan – I think we are “taste-twins” ! Everything you described resonates with me. I have folders of pictures of that kind of style that I always go back to for inspiration!
Beautifully written! I agree with everything you expressed and feel the same way
I’m totally with you on this Vanessa! Instagram is covered up in Farmhouse and it draws tons of likes and followers. It is not my style at all. I like a more elegant, refined look with a little touch of glam. I have a small home decor account on IG and if it stays small, so be it because I need to be myself. I’ve always loved your posts because you bring such authenticity and balance to your readers. I will say I jumped on the white walls train though because I personally wanted to brighten up my small home. I think we should be inspired and use some of what we like but not feel we have to bend to the trend.
Amen Jennifer to your comment about the likes and followers! It seems like the more farmhouse decor the more engagement and growth. I guess that is what everyone is after and what appeals to the IG masses. I follow some amazing designers who have a very small following and it blows my mind that they don’t have the same kind of engagement. But throw in a farmhouse sign and some Rae Dunn and your following and engagement grows. Good discussion and comment.
You are absolutely right Renee! I have seen some amazing accounts that have such a small following and farmhouse accounts with poor photography and styling and have grown by leaps and bounds. I still think one day god tide will turn. 😊
I have found over the years to decorate for myself and what I like. I get very nervous if I start following a fad. There are so many things I see today that I have been doing for years! I am 68, so I have been decorating a long time and have watched fads and trends come and go. I can always know that I will never open a blog or magazine and think the rooms look like mine! Lol
I love that you decorate in a way that pleases you. And, I love the eclectic look yet smooth way in which the rooms flow together. And, yes I do know why you have rebelled against perms. There have been some interesting experiences with them, huh? Love you, Mom
Amen!
I almost dropped my phone when I read this title. Thank you for articulating my own thoughts an feelings so gracefully.
This is a fabulous post, Vanessa! I did not feel you were being critical of anyone’s design choices. Since this farmhouse decor trend has blossomed, I have kind of chuckled to myself “that’s not the the type of farmhouse decor I grew up in”. There was a saying something along the lines of you could tell who was in charge in a family. If the outbuildings and farm equipment were top notch, it was the farmer. If the house was beautiful, it was the farmer’s wife. It would be wonderful to live a simpler life but farming is not for sissies. I agree with Miss Linda: it is about maturity. We have reached a point where we feel secure in ourselves and our choices, and there is no need to follow the trends. After I see something, whether decor or fashion, forty-eleven times, I am sick of it. Your readers have chimed in with wonderful comments and I love this conversation!
I read this post the other evening and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I’ve been thinking this for quite sometime. I’ve been in a few farmhouses in my life, and none of them look like what is depicted on Instagram. I think the style is cute, but I like a little originality. I like too many styles to just stick with one.
I LOVE this post! My dad grew up on a farm in Iowa. He said it was truly hard work every day. I guess many feel that Farmhouse Living is leading the simple life away from the hustle and bustle of city life. Where you can actually see Stars at night. I have lived and will live outside the city where you won’t hear cars so much just the “ sounds of silence” and a cricket or two and the birds singing their morning song. But I do love neighbors. I love the farmhouse look but I love life between Green Acres and Park Avenue!!
Thank you for saying what has been on my heart! I love farmhouse but then I started decorating our newly renovated room and realized I didn’t really love it at all! We downsized a year ago from a sub-division neighborhood to 10 acres! In the country! Yes, I like farmhouse but I also like traditional style – the decor I’ve acquired over the last 29 years of marriage to my sweet husband. So please, come visit, sit, and have a glass of sweet tea, in my not so farmhouse home!
Very well said, and a great big thank you!
I so agree with you. The title of the post is farmhouse and when you go to look it had nothing to do with farmhouse. Like so many said, actually having lived in a farmhouse, none of those made in China items were to be seen. Thanks for the honesty.
I’m over “farm house” and chalk boards and coffee stations and command centers. I live in CA in a ranch style home, which is not on a ranch, but in a neighborhood. I have an iPhone and an Alexa so I don’t need a chalk board. I have a Kuerig and an empty nest. I’m definitely not in style.
Love your sentiments! Over the years the “Farmhouse” style has had different names
Country, Primitives, Antiquey. Not hard to incorporate some new trendy stuff into what I already have! The hunt is what is always the fun part!
Vanessa, I was cheering you on to publish this and just got around to reading it! Well done, my friend. Unique is my favorite style as well, one that embraces who you are. And the little rebellious streak, yeah, you named it for me. I’m not rebellious in other things, just when it’s popular. Like, when we drove through Waco, I almost didn’t go to Magnolia, just because I knew it was so cliché and popular. But I confess, I did, because a friend encouraged me to go for other reasons. 🙂 Anyhow, well done for being kind and honest and speaking out for people to just be who they are.
The thing I find most interesting about the idea that people are drawn to “farmhouse style” because of its simplicity, is that NONE of these “farmhouse” decor pictures you see are simple. They are filled with so much stuff, for the sale of having stuff, not because it means something to the person. They have a wall with a grouping of 25 random pictures, galvanized ampersands, blessed plaques, and some birch logs on the floor in a new “old” basket. In what way is that simple.
Now that’s not to say I’m not drawn to a lot of aspects of farmhouse, because I want to transition our house over but I want to decorate it with things that mean some to me and not just because it was on sale at hobby lobby. It’s been a struggle trying to balance being drawn to the style but not getting in so deep our house looks like a cliche.
This post, your insight and options are spot on, at least for me! We live in a mountain cabin and have a condo in the desert, which has a beachy motif because that’s where we’d really like to be. I could go crazy over bears or “beach decor” but I prefer a mix of furniture, art and decor items. We have some antiques from our families and past lives, and we have have them mixed in in each home. The same same goes for art and mementos. We do see “trendy” items that we like so we add those into the mix at times. Quests seem to enjoy both of our homes as much as we do. I really think it has to do with the variety and meaningfulness of what we have incorporated into both places.
WELL SAID! You have put into words what I have been thinking and feeling for quite some time now! I live in a house in the swamp in Louisiana ( not as creepy as it sounds I promise lol) and its so discouraging to walk in all these home decor stores and see nothing but farmhouse. Farm decor would look ridiculous in my house! Lets be real. A swampy farmhouse lol. Anyways, I choose to decorate my home with thrift finds, sentimental items and just anything I like! ps- I don’t think back in the older days people with true farmhouses went with ALL WHITE EVERYTHING.
I can totally relate to the rebellious of side
of not wanting to watch something because it’s popular! Haha such a great post. I’m a first time home buyer and all I keep seeing styles everywhere is Modern Farmhouse! I do admire it but Iike you I felt like farmhouse meant owning a farm lol thanks for the great read 🙂
So true! I love this post. The farmhouse trend in my opinion, is out of control. I’ll just say it. I love the decor, mostly, too, but it’s getting over the top! The signage stuff is a bit too much! Today I saw a sign being sold at a big box craft store that says, Hardware. I mean, these farmhouse items are starting to look like a big showcase of words that don’t belong in your living room! What are you selling nuts and bolts from your living room now?! I see homes that look great with farmhouse decor and then I see homes that don’t “go” with farmhouse. I agree, go with what you like and don’t be influenced by the trend. Because in the end, your house is going to look like your neighbors.
I came here from a Google search for “I don’t like farmhouse style.” And yet, I do like it. But as you say, it is so overdone that I can’t enjoy it now. It’s not just farmhouse, it’s also things like “words” plastered all over everything: family, believe, etc. While I love the meaning, everyone’s house seems have these trendy words on their walls and throw pillows. Then painting everything gray became the rage. I am waiting for folks to realize that gray is a tiresome color! Literally! Years ago everything was beige. When I helped my sister look for a house to buy, we made a decision to not look at any house that had gray walls, shiplap or barn anything. I so wish for people to be more individualistic. Decorate with the things you love, not with what is trendy. Trust me, trends don’t sell houses. Be creative. I live in a house that has a pine, shiplap ceiling in the living room. The shiplap ceiling was put installed in the 1990s. I it painted white long before shiplap became a hit. I love it, but I live in a country home and so it fits the enviroment. However, I won’t be putting it on my walls. If I lived in a mediteranean style home, I would decorate in mediteranean style. And so on. My wish for the future is that people will start decorating for themselves. Dont’ worry if it doesn’t appeal to future buyers. Do what you love. Give your home identity.