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At The Picket Fence with Vanessa Hunt

Where Ideas for your Home Meet Inspiration for your Heart

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April 22, 2012

A Legacy of Sighing?

*A Post from the Past*

It was a simple request.

One I make every day.

“Go put your shoes and your coat on, grab your backpack and get in the car.”

As I turned and headed down the hallway to help his little sister with her shoes, I heard it.

“Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”
I don’t know the proper word to describe a great big SIGH, but that was the gist of it.
“Really?” I wanted to say.
“You are sighing because you have to put your shoes and coat
on and grab your backpack and get in the car!”
While these words didn’t actually come out of my mouth, I was thinking them very sarcastically in my mind.
Boy, it must be rough to be 8 years old these days!
And, then it hit me.

In one of those very unpleasant moments of parenting, I realized exactly why he did that and exactly where he learned it.
My brother-in-law once told Heather that we are the “Sigh-ing-est” family he had ever met.

We took a vote and decided he could stay in the family even after making that crack at us!

But, you know what?
He is totally RIGHT!
We all do it. All.the.time.
Sorry Mom, Dad and Heather.
If I’m throwing myself under the bus you are all coming with me!
And I know when I sigh it is usually over really dumb things.
Like, waiting in a long line even though there are also other people waiting in the same long line.
Or being asked for a snack from my children….over and over and over.
Or hitting all of the red lights on our way to the store.

iStockphoto,Photographs,red light,red lights,signals,stoplights,stops,traffic,traffic controls,traffic lights,transportation,vans,vehicles

Or finding that they have run out of olives at said store.  
But, really, that is pretty ridiculous don’t you think?
I mean, how do you run out of olives?
“Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh”
Ummm….I digress. But, you get the idea.
And, as I heard that big sigh escape my son’s mouth, I realized that this was a legacy I was not proud of leaving. It isn’t exactly what I have in mind when I think about passing things down to my children.

So, I did a little bit of research and a LOT of soul searching.

The first place I went to was my B.I.B.L.E. (yes that’s the book for me!).

I looked up “Sighing” in the Concordance and you know what? There was only ONE verse that used that word and it had to do with sighing out of sorrow.

For some reason, I had a feeling that wasn’t exactly the kind of “sighing” I’ve been doing lately.
Well, that got me to thinking. What was I feeling when I let that little puff of air escape me?
What did it represent and what did I think I was getting away with by inhaling and exhaling in a very loud manner?

And that is when the soul searching began.
It didn’t last long, though, because it was quickly revealed to me what this whole sighing business was really all about.

It was my way of

Grumbling

Complaining

Expressing Frustration without using actual words

And, let me just tell you friends, there are A LOT of verses in the “Good Book” about those emotions!

They aren’t pretty and they sure do hit home.

“These men are grumblers and faultfinders; they follow their own evil desires; they boast about themselves and flatter others for their own advantage.” Jude 22:7

Ouch! Now I know why I don’t spend a lot of time in the book of Jude!

“Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe.” Philippians 2:14

I’m fairly certain my sighing doesn’t make me “shine like a star”.

And, I’m also fairly certain that while I may have fooled myself into thinking that it is better than actually verbally expressing my frustrations, I’m not really fooling anyone else!

I think they call it being…gulp…PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE.

Because, let’s be honest. What do I really have to sigh about?

I lead an incredibly blessed life.

I have a wonderful husband who loves me, 2 amazing children and a home that not only provides shelter but is a place where I get to express my creativity. We have food, shelter, clothing and transportation times 2.

I have had my share of sorrows, that is true.
But my little day-to-day life’s issues do not warrant that kind of response.
Not when there are other things I should be sighing about.

I should sigh over the broken and hurting around the world….around my city…in my neighborhood.

I should sigh because there are children who went to bed hungry last night and will probably again tonight.

I should sigh that my children are growing up in a world that promotes living for “numero uno” more than having a servant’s heart.

These are the things that should cause me to inhale and then deeply exhale.

Maybe there was a reason that the only verse in the Bible that mentions sighing has to do with there being a day when “sorrow and sighing will flee away.” Isaiah 35:10

Until that day, my desire should be to sigh for the lost…the hurt…the hungry.

And maybe, just maybe, if my children heard their mother sighing over those things, they will begin to sigh for them too.

Now, THAT is a legacy worth leaving! Don’t you think?

Thanks for joining me for this Simply Sunday at the Fence,


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Comments

  1. Michele @ The Nest at Finch Rest says

    April 22, 2012 at 5:02 PM

    Oh Vanessa, that is so well written. I can’t adda thing – just give you my deepest respects for the courage it takes to share these things.

    You are amazing, and your family is beautiful.

    I, too, am a very loud sigher. I am going to work on it, you have inspired me to grumble less – even unspoken grumblings.

    Hugs those sweet kids of yours for me.

    God bless!!!!

    Reply
  2. LDH says

    April 22, 2012 at 5:15 PM

    Yes, so well written. And sighing isn’t always audible. I can grumble and complain even while doing a task. Sad but forgiven is this heart of mine.

    Reply
  3. The Corner Zoo says

    April 22, 2012 at 6:29 PM

    I am so guilty of this. Thank you for posting this, the Bible verses are of great value to me.

    Reply
  4. Heather's Blog-o-rama says

    April 22, 2012 at 6:56 PM

    Thanks for sharing this. You wrote so beautifully on this topic. I think for me, I really work hard to foster an attitude of gratitude, because it really does take my focus off of myself and onto all the good things God has done for me 😉 🙂 Love and hugs from the ocean shores of CAlifornia, Heather 🙂 🙂 🙂

    Reply
  5. Martha says

    April 22, 2012 at 8:23 PM

    Right on!! Thanks for sharing this reminder!

    Reply
  6. Anonymous says

    April 22, 2012 at 9:20 PM

    Vanessa,

    You certainly did come by “sighing” quite honestly in our family. I already sighed several times today over such mundane things. Thanks for the reminder of what is worth sighing over. Beautifully written! Love, Mom

    PS Love the picture too. Haven’t seen that one!

    Reply
  7. Madge Bloom says

    April 22, 2012 at 10:28 PM

    Ouch is right, a sigh can express a lot and for many reasons, but complaining would certainly be one…

    Reply
  8. Anonymous says

    April 22, 2012 at 11:17 PM

    ouch, Thats one of my biggies too. or another not so favorite “fine!” I often think that God sent us our kids so we could really see our own faults.

    Thanks for the gentle reminder

    Angela
    angdersquire(at)shaw(dot)da

    Reply
  9. Shirley@Housepitality Designs says

    April 22, 2012 at 11:36 PM

    Love this post…you are so incredibly right…Perspective..perspective…Our blessings always outweigh all the other “stuff”….Now when I “sigh”…nowadays, it is over beautiful images…of a gorgeous flower, a baby smiling, my granddaughter showing me her first lost baby tooth…sigh…my hubby giving me flowers…sigh, sigh….

    I have learned to “manage my negative sighs” through my incredibly inspirational friend…When I catch myself with a “negative sigh”…I think of her, and then it all makes sense….life is good…with the good sighs…..

    Reply
  10. Elizabeth (Blue Clear Sky) says

    April 22, 2012 at 11:41 PM

    Such a great and powerful post. You are so right! Thanks for this.

    Reply
  11. Angie says

    April 22, 2012 at 6:28 PM

    Amen and Amen, Vanessa! We have a lot more than sighing going on in our family. We have too much outright, arguing, complaining and griping. One teenager got grounded from all fun stuff this week just 20 minutes ago for that very thing. I know I need to start sighing about things worth sighing about too and find more to verbally praise about.

    Reply
  12. Doreen - Hymns and Verses says

    April 23, 2012 at 2:36 AM

    From one sigher to another, Thank you for this post! My husband just made a comment the other day about me sighing, I need to make an intentional effort to change.

    Reply
  13. Susan (My Place to Yours) says

    April 23, 2012 at 1:11 PM

    Funny how God works… Just last night this post came to mind (from when I read it the first time and was convicted!). And now this morning I see it re-posted here. I’m sorry to say, but obviously this is a message God’s REALLY trying to get across to me right now. Thanks for letting Him use you.

    Reply
  14. Maria Elena says

    April 23, 2012 at 1:37 PM

    Oh, boy! You sure just gave me something to think about! I am also part of the
    “sighing club”. 🙂 Wonderful post!

    Reply
  15. Suzanne says

    April 23, 2012 at 9:13 PM

    You just had to go there, didn’t you. *Sigh*. For the first several (at least) years of our marriage, I was apparently a grumbler by sighing. And I also just sighed for no reason at times. My poor husband didn’t know what to do with all my sighing — Was I upset? Did he say something wrong? Did he forget to do something? Was I just tired? (I wasn’t the best of communicators, if you can’t tell).

    I’ve been really working on cutting out the grumbling by sighing and leave my sighing for expressions of “whew, glad that’s done,” or “wow, so glad we accomplished that,” or, better yet, “Lord, I love my life!”

    Reply
  16. Rakesh says

    April 24, 2012 at 5:47 AM

    Thanks for posting this blog. Its really appreciated. I abookmark this blog and will get bcak to you shortly. Now am in search for Furniture in Guadalajara.

    Reply
  17. Richella says

    April 26, 2012 at 11:00 PM

    Wow, Vanessa! This is beautifully written–and so poignant. I, too, struggle with sighing deeply over the smallest things. May we all be inspired by your words to find our hearts broken over the things that break God’s heart–and our hearts light and cheerful when they should be! Thank you so much for this inspiration!

    Reply
  18. Donna says

    April 29, 2012 at 1:08 AM

    Ouch. You caught me. Not only do I sigh. I also roll my eyes. Beautifully written post and very much appreciated.

    Reply

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I've been watching our cherry trees bloom for 12 y I've been watching our cherry trees bloom for 12 years now and every year I ohhhh and ahhhh over the blossoms like it's the first time I've ever seen them. I gush and I take photos (that look exactly like the ones I took the year before and the year before that) and I make my family come outside and look at them with me which you know they just LOVE to do. 😉 I think that is one of the main reasons why I love spring so much. On the one hand, it's predictable and yet, on the other hand, it still feels like such a surprise after the long months of barren branches.

And yesterday, as I was staring at the gorgeous blossoms for the umpteenth time, I couldn't help but think that I hope this is how I feel when our lives return to some semblance of normalcy.

I hope that the predictable feels special and that the typical feels anything but. I hope that I ohhh and ahhh over the simple things I've realized I've taken for granted. And, most of all, I hope that feeling doesn't go away for a very, very long time! 💗
Are you living with great expectation friends? Bec Are you living with great expectation friends? Because He is risen!

Happy Easter from my home to yours!
Lemon bars all ready for tomorrow! It’s going to Lemon bars all ready for tomorrow! It’s going to be a different kind of Easter for sure but some things don’t change. Have you been baking and getting ready for tomorrow? What’s one thing on your menu that you have to have every year?
If this is Good Friday, why doesn’t it feel so “good”? It all seems backward doesn’t it?

What could be good about the unspeakable pain he suffered? What could be good about the shame and betrayal?

Easter Sunday is so joyful, bright and cheery. Shouldn’t that be the day we call “good”? It just feels so much better!

But, I don’t know how to rejoice over His resurrection, unless I have felt the pain of His death. I have realized that in life the sweetest victories are the ones which were realized after a pain-filled journey.

And, so it is with Good Friday. I know there will be victory over death, but I can’t skip ahead in the story.

Jesus knew what was coming. He knew what he would experience. And he knew why he would go through it. He did it for me. He did it for you.

Do you know that? Have you felt it down in the very core of your soul? 
Sometimes it makes me squirm a bit. Why would anyone do that for me?

Well, because, I can’t do it for myself!

There is nothing I can do to earn that kind of love and mercy.

That is why it is called GRACE.

His grace is freely given. We don’t have to pay for it. He paid the price for us already.

Do you remember that movie from years ago called “Ransom”? A couple’s young son was kidnapped and the parents went to hell and back trying to find him and pay the “ransom” demanded by the kidnappers.

Well, Jesus is our “ransom”. (1 Timothy 2:6) His life was the payment.

Why is it called “Good Friday”? Because that wasn’t the end of the story….
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…It was just the beginning!
Raise your hand if there’s a table in your house Raise your hand if there’s a table in your house that’s become the landing zone for ALL THE THINGS! 🙋🏻‍♀️🤪 I’ve never been more thankful for our rarely used dining room table as it’s become command central for school books and laptops and games.

Where are things collecting in your house right now?
“Sighing, tears, frustration, anger.” Every si “Sighing, tears, frustration, anger.” Every single one of these emotions has made their way through our home in recent days and, my guess is, they have in your home too.

I SO needed this reminder today from the new book ‘Adore’ by @sarahagertywrites.

Adoration isn’t just sitting at His feet gazing longingly with stars in my eyes. It’s bringing my fears and my sorrows and gray roots in my hair that desperately needs to be colored and my messy house and all of the things that threaten to send me over the edge right now and laying them down before Him, soaking up His word and His presence so that when I stand back up, I am changed for having spent the time adoring the ONE who is... Healer, comforter, peace-giver, deliverer, redeemer.

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It feels the most...normal. Daytime is strange and foreign right now. My husband has taken over our home office, I’m suddenly taking over the responsibility of managing my kids’ distance learning and let me just say that teaching 7th grade algebra to my daughter is hugely ironic since I struggled with math all the way through school. I’m trying to do my own work but it feels utterly futile with the constant interruptions which take precedence right now. In the daytime, I’m constantly reminded of how upside down life feels.

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If you don’t absolutely HAVE to make a decision right now, I want to encourage you to wait until life gets back to normal. If you are finding yourself over-analyzing relationships and family dynamics, I want to encourage you to remember that everything seems more dramatic when looked at under a microscope. And, let’s face it, being homebound with our loved ones non-stop makes us all feel like lab rats in an experiment.

If you are tempted to quit a job, start a business, start homeschooling permanently, stop homeschooling permanently, move to a new city, buy a farm, quit pursuing your dream, join a commune or make any other major life decision just…wait. Because, if it is in fact the right decision, it will be made even clearer once our lives return to their ‘regularly scheduled programming’. Instead, in this strange season, let’s all just take a deep, collective breath and let it out slowly, releasing the anxiety that threatens to overtake us. Let’s help each other maintain some perspective and not slip into a posture of over-thinking every little thing in our lives. Let’s remember that the enemy of our souls would love nothing more than to use this time when things feel dark to manipulate us into thinking that aspects of our lives are worse than they actually are.

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