My hairstyle has included bangs for 95% of my life. But last year I decided that if I was going to be stuck at home that it would be the perfect time to grow them out.
If you’ve ever grown out your bangs then you know that it can be an agonizing process and that you will second guess your decision every day, especially when they’re still too short to pull back in a ponytail and you’re constantly trying to keep them out of your face. I’m at the mid-way point right now. Where they are blending in more with the rest of my hair and I’m getting used to my forehead being exposed and having to pay more attention to plucking my eyebrows.
Reaching this mid-way point feels like a milestone. There’s a part of me that wants to go back to what was familiar and comfortable. But the other part of me wants to see this through. And I realized today that my hair and I are no longer the same as we were this time last year. And I don’t want us to go back. Not really.
I know too much now. About myself, my family, my community, church, my friendships. I know now that I would have probably made a good pilgrim. Or maybe even been in the Revolutionary War if they’d had women soldiers then. I know that I’ve never been closer to my family and my Savior. I know that I have friends who will dig into the hard stuff with me and who will be the ones standing by my side in the face of persecution.
I know that my husband and I have discernment. I know that we won’t sacrifice the truth of God’s Word to please the culture (or a church) even when it costs us greatly. And it has cost us greatly.
My hair and I have been on quite the journey. And there is something about having this physical representation of what is happening in my soul that just seems…right. It’s awkward at times, hard and messy. But the truly beautiful things in life are, though, aren’t they?
So, I’ll keep growing out my bangs and I’ll keep growing in my faith. I may look back wistfully at how much easier it was before my forehead was swept free and my eyes were fully opened, but I wouldn’t trade this time of growth for anything.