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At The Picket Fence with Vanessa Hunt

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March 16, 2015

Making Friends With My Problems

I read the words over and over, certain I had misunderstood or that in my just awakened, pre-caffeinated state I had to be reading them incorrectly. But there was no mistake about it.

There they were. Right there in black and white. Words which sounded so incredibly strange to me and frankly words which I wasn’t particularly thrilled to be reading that morning.

“Make friends with the problems in your life. Though many things feel random and wrong, remember that I am sovereign over everything. I can fit everything into a pattern for good, but only to the extent that you trust Me. Every problem can teach you something, transforming you little by little into the masterpiece I created you to be. The very same problem can become a stumbling block over which you fall, if you react with distrust and defiance. The choice is up to you, and you will have to choose many times each day whether to trust Me or defy Me.

The best way to befriend a problem is to thank Me for them. This simple act opens your mind to the possibility of benefits flowing from your difficulties. You can even give persistent problems nicknames, helping you to approach them with familiarity rather than dread. The next step is to introduce them to Me, enabling Me to embrace them in My loving presence. I will not necessarily remove your problems, but My wisdom is sufficient to bring good out of every one of them.” ~ Jesus Calling by Sarah Young 

Yeah. No thanks.

Seriously, why would I make friends with my problems when I don’t even WANT them in my life?

That’s just crazy talk right there.

And on this particular morning, it was the last thing I wanted to do.

I wanted the problem I was facing to just go away. I wanted to channel my inner turtle and tuck my head into my shell and shut myself off from the world.

But, here it was before me. A choice.

I could either open the door to my problem and invite it inside, or I could leave it there standing on the doorstep.

Why would I want to make friends with my problems? What purpose does it serve?

Well, if I’m honest with myself and honest about my faith journey, I have to admit that it’s the problems which seem to snap me out of my sleepy state. They wake me up and force me to take a look at where I am in my relationship with my Savior.

I don’t know about you, but in the days that are all sunshine and lollipops I so easily slip into a place of complacency and of leaning on my own strength. I think to myself, “Look how awesome my life is! I got this! You and me God? We make such a great team!”

But, there isn’t a whole lot of growth taking place. Not much depth. Just a whole lot of self-centeredness.

You see, it’s in the stormy seasons of life, when the problems threaten to overwhelm me, that I find myself radically clinging to God. This is when leaning on Him becomes akin to breathing. And this is when I realize that I have to make the choice to become friends with my problems.

But what exactly does that involve?

Think about it this way, your closest relationships are with the people who know you inside and out and vice versa. You’ve taken the time to get to know them backwards and forwards. You’ve celebrated with them and you’ve cried with them. You know what hurts them and annoys them. You know their favorite kind of food and their most embarrassing moment. You pray for them and even when they might drive you crazy at times, you love them anyway.

That is how we become friends with our problems. We don’t just invite them in and leave them standing there in the hallway. No, we sit down with them. We get to know them and we allow them to reveal to us things about ourselves which we probably never realized. We allow them to force us into a place of prayer and petitioning. Of total reliance on God. We cry with them and we are frustrated by them and we take them with us to His throne of grace.

Do we have to do this. No.

We don’t have to invite them in. We could just slam the door in the face of our problems and leave them standing there on the front porch.

But, does that mean they go away? Not really.

Oh sure, they might seem to fade and become a distant memory. But they will still be there.

And in the meantime, we are missing out.

Because here is why we make friends with our problems.

We make friends with them so that…

When there is healing

When there is a new level reached in our faith

When there is restoration

When there is forgiveness

When there is grace given and received

When there is a greater understanding of who we are in Christ

When there is beauty that emerges from the ashes

When there are all of those things (and more!) we are able to give all the glory to God!

We can know beyond a shadow of a doubt that He is moving through lives and relationships. That He is able to do more than we can ask or imagine. That His spirit is active and alive.

If we never make friends with our problems and get to know them intimately, just think about how much we would miss out on!

Oh sure, we might be able to appreciate the problems being resolved, but unless we sit with our problems and get to know them, we run the risk of missing out on all of the really GOOD stuff. The hard, messy, beautiful stuff.

So, I’m learning to make friends with my problems. It’s hard and it’s painful and frankly I really don’t like when what this friendship leads to is the revealing of the ugly parts of my heart.

But, oh sweet friends, it’s sooooooooo worth it in the end!

So, today, I challenge you to join me in making friends with your problems.

Open the door to them and invite them into your life.

Take it from me, you want to hear what they have to say.

Vanessa signature

 

10 Comments Filed Under: Devotionals

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Comments

  1. Hope Williams says

    March 16, 2015 at 4:47 AM

    Good morning Vanessa.
    This post is right on target for me. Especially today. Life has a way of checking us up at almost every curve. Learning to embrace the curves instead of avoiding them is a task that, at times, seems impossible. But I have learned this. If I just open my arms and say, “Let’s Go”, I can handle the curve much better. And be ok on the other end. With more time spent with my Lord and savior, I’ve learned that there is always a smile lurking after the tears and smoke clears. And a peace so profound, that I’ve come to look Foward to my curves.
    Faith, trust, and love of our enemies seems impossible for this sinner. But as my journey continues, I choose God. And with that choice, I can NEVER lose.
    Be blessed and Be a Blessing, Hope

    Reply
  2. LeAnne says

    March 16, 2015 at 5:08 AM

    This is a great way of looking at problems, although I would be channeling my inner ostrich, with my head in the sand instead of inviting them in! Thank you for a fresh perspective, because at any given time, we all are dealing with problems in our sinful life. It helps me remember that God is still and always in control, and no problem comes to me unless he “approves” it. Keep up the good work, and thank you again!

    Reply
  3. Michele says

    March 16, 2015 at 9:05 AM

    Beautifully written and wonderful counsel. Just what I needed today, and in this Holy Lenten Season!

    Praying for your problems to fade, and praying for the courage to look mine squarely and fairly and DEAL with them.

    Thank for you for this wonderful post, Vanessa!

    Reply
  4. dee says

    March 16, 2015 at 9:26 AM

    so very true, hard to live it, but truly builds a deeper relationship with our Savoir! Win Win 🙂

    Reply
  5. Jane says

    March 16, 2015 at 6:36 PM

    I am so touched by this post…it’s a great learning experience that I will hold deep in my heart…I am sure it will benefit me now and in the future.

    Do you mind if I share a link to this post in my next blog post?

    Jane xx

    Reply
    • At The Picket Fence says

      March 16, 2015 at 7:00 PM

      Thank you so much Jane and it would be an honor to have you share it in a blog post! 🙂

      Reply
  6. Julie Kimmel says

    March 16, 2015 at 8:22 PM

    Thanks Vanessa. This is a right on point for me. Sometimes it is almost an afterthought to give my problems to The Lord. I have no problem praising him for all the good in my life, so now I’m pretty sure He can handle the rough times, too. . You make a lot of sense! Thanks for sharing from the heart!

    Reply
  7. Gwen says

    March 17, 2015 at 1:05 AM

    This makes sense. I have had a TBI for so long. Since 2008. A person gets a bit of decline, in my case. It’s all too much to talk of here but family pushes it or me away. I’ve tried to pretend. But now I no longer can pretend. I’m different than other people. It’s hard. So many new rules. Today after getting tooo hot, I sat and just cried and listened to God. And focused on peace. It’s a fruit of the spirit God told me and reminded me I always loved fruit and I giggled. I sat and meditated on Gods peace. I had sung about peace like a river so I let peace float around and carry me. Peacefully. Gods peace. Verses came to mind. My peace I give unto you. Not as the world gives do I give unto you. And then I have come that you might have peace and have it more abundantly. And the peace that passes all understanding allowed me to get up, start my supper early, rest and drink water…I will never understand things like you speak of completely but I cannot hide my feelings under a rug. And I must learn to live a new life, devoid of family gatherings, family trips, birthday celebrations…all those things I loved before. It is hard.

    Reply
  8. Amy Hale says

    March 28, 2015 at 9:15 PM

    Thank you! I needed this! So very well said 🙂
    Amy

    Reply
  9. linda says

    April 5, 2015 at 1:56 PM

    Thank you so much. I am sitting here alone without family to share the celebration of Easter. As I grow older,, this is one of several issues that I have carried so long with only limited success and I have been asking God to show me why. Your post was has shown me what. is missing. God Bless You

    Reply

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On Monday my heart just felt so heavy. Yes, the po On Monday my heart just felt so heavy. Yes, the pouring rain outside contributed to my feelings. But the primary cause was this overwhelming flood of thoughts about how much in our world and in our culture is going off the rails. I’d planned to make pumpkin bread that day but I was tempted to just curl up in a ball on my bed, pull the covers over my head and pretend that this would actually solve something. I didn’t give into that temptation though. Instead, I got out my favorite pumpkin bread recipe and found that, as I worked and prayed and hummed worship songs, my spirit began to settle. When the world feels very loud, the demands of family and home can actually help to quiet our souls. As each family member walked through the door later in the day, they commented on how wonderful the house smelled. It’s better than any fall candle in my opinion! And I knew that the extra loaf that I get from the recipe would be a welcome treat for my widower neighbor. So, if your heart is feeling a bit unsettled this week too, maybe this recipe will come in handy!

Pumpkin Bread:

Ingredients:
1 (15 ounce) can pumpkin puree
4 eggs
1 cup vegetable oil
2/3 cup water
3 cups white sugar
3 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger

Directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease and flour three 7×3 inch loaf pans.
In a large bowl, mix together pumpkin puree, eggs, oil, water and sugar until well blended. In a separate bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves and ginger. Stir the dry ingredients into the pumpkin mixture until just blended. Pour into the prepared pans.
Bake for about 50 minutes in the preheated oven. Loaves are done when toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. 🍂
Happy first day of Autumn!! 🍂 Here’s a super Happy first day of Autumn!! 🍂 Here’s a super simple centerpiece that you can make in five minutes (or less) with just a few pumpkins and extra faux greenery. Let’s spend less time decorating and more time enjoying this season. It’s my favorite!! 🧡

#fallcenterpiece #falldecor #centerpiece #fiveminutedecorating
"Define your day", she told me as I held my newbor "Define your day", she told me as I held my newborn son. My mom and I were talking about how blurred my days and nights had become and how easy it would be to just stay in my pajamas 24/7. She encouraged me to make an attempt to put on 'real' clothes in the morning even if they were just nice sweatpants (bonus if they were clean!) and to throw a little bit of makeup on. That simple advice helped chart a course for my years of motherhood that continues today. And recently I began thinking about how critical it is that we not only seek wisdom from those ahead of us in our stage of life but that we are willing to apply it as well.

So, I asked this question on my personal Facebook page; "What is something you feel you've done well to create a peaceful/meaningful home for yourself and your family?" The catch was that the question was geared towards women in the 40+ age range. The responses came flooding in and were so wonderful and insightful. So, I'm going to be starting a new series where I share this wisdom with you and will include the first name of the woman who offered it. 

Today we start with Alison who said "I learned to set my alarm early to get up and moving before my kids woke up. I showered, got dressed and did my devotions while the house was quiet. It set my heart and perspective for each day.”

Is this something you do in your life too? What wisdom would you offer to a mom of young children?

I truly think our culture would greatly benefit from more women in different seasons of life being willing to invest in each other. 🍂

#wearthehomemakers #homemaking #motherhood #parentingwisdom
If bread pudding is on the dessert menu at a resta If bread pudding is on the dessert menu at a restaurant I’m definitely ordering it! It’s one of my all time favorite treats. So I decided to try my hand at making some here at home with a little fall twist and it was SO delicious!! 🍎

Ingredients:

6 slices of day old bread (french, sourdough or even brioche works great)
2 cups of heavy cream
3 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 tablespoon bourbon (optional)
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
For the apples:
3 peeled and chopped apples of a tart variety
1 cup brown sugar
3 tablespoons flour (or corn starch)

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 350
Cut bread into cubes and place in a greased 8 1/2 x 11 baking dish
Whisk together in a bowl the eggs, cream, vanilla, rum, cinnamon and nutmeg and then pour it over the bread cubes. In a separate bowl, mix together the apples, brown sugar and flour/corn starch. Pour the apple mixture on top of the bread mixture making sure to spread the apples evenly across every part of the bread mixture.
Bake for 45 minutes. 
Enjoy!

#falldesserts #breadpudding #fallrecipes #desserts
When one kiddo wakes up not feeling well after onl When one kiddo wakes up not feeling well after only a week of school, you take the opportunity to make Saturday a truly restful day. Pancakes on the griddle, puttering around the yard admiring the way the limelights have begun their autumn journey from white to green to pink. Sprinkling touches of fall around the house a little bit at a time. Savoring the slowness of it all and taking care of my people in this place that provides us all with a respite from the world even if just for a day.

Hope you’re weekend is off to a great start and that you make it a priority to slow down for a bit and soak up the beauty around you. 🍂

#wearethehomemakers #homemaking #falldecorating
As summer slips into fall, I can’t help but thin As summer slips into fall, I can’t help but think about how grateful I am for the reminders all around me of God’s Sovereignty over everything including the seasons. It can be challenging in our world today to trust that there isn’t a single thing happening that surprises Him.

In a way, decorating my home to reflect the changing season serves as a tangible reminder of this trust. Even something as simple as seeing a pumpkin on my mantel or a basket of mums on the coffee table fill me with peace because they represent the things that remain constant and true.

“The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever.” Isaiah 40:8

#wearthehomemakers #homemaking #club31women
I’m never.going.back to stressful, time-consumin I’m never.going.back to stressful, time-consuming seasonal decorating. When I think back on the years where I would feel all of the pressure to come up with something fresh and creative I’m seriously embarrassed. Truly. Because it was such a waste. A waste of my time, my energy, my resources. Something clicked with me a few years ago. I was just done. I needed to simplify. I needed to not spend an obscene amount of time looking at fireplace mantels on Pinterest and trying to figure out how to make mine look amazing. I needed to put it all in the proper place in my heart and my mind. Which meant, it had to go waaaaayyyy down on the priority list. So far down it almost wasn’t on it. And I needed to confess to the Lord that I had allowed it to become an idol. 

Yes, I want to have a home that I enjoy. Yes, I love pretty things. But something really amazing happened when I finally released it all. When I decided to not give into the pressure and panic I would feel when I would scroll through my Instagram feed. When I just laid it all down and said…enough. There was this incredible irony in it. Because, the less time I took to decorate my home for each season, the more I found myself loving the results. I think that all along I had just been getting in my own way. It’s really taken a lot of time and prayer for me to finally be at a place where even though I still struggle with insecurities and I still have doubts from time to time, I’m becoming increasingly more confident in who God created me to be. And, just like my home, I’m finding that as I relax into myself, letting go of the comparisons and the pressure, the more I can actually lean into the calling He has placed on my life. 🍂

Leave a comment if you can relate! 

#wearethehomemakers #homemaking
“As the alluring song of September begins to whi “As the alluring song of September begins to whisper in my ear, my passionate spirit yearns for the splendor of its promise.” (Peggy Toney Horton)

Happy September dear friends! While I’m not quite ready to let go of summer and I plan to make the most out of the lingering, warm days, I’ll admit to starting to think about my fall decor this year. And one way to get inspired is to take a look back at previous years. Here’s just a glimpse at some of the ways I’ve welcomed Autumn to my home! 🍂

#september #falldecorating #falldecor #falldecoratingideas #wearethehomemakers
Labor Day weekend might mean that we’re turning Labor Day weekend might mean that we’re turning the corner and getting closer to fall but I’m not quite ready to let summer go. So I’ll just be over here continuing to whip up some super simple summer meals for my family that frankly can be enjoyed in any season. These shrimp rolls I made the other night were definitely a hit and would be great for any of your upcoming holiday weekend gatherings!

Shrimp Rolls 🍤

Ingredients
1-2 lbs of shrimp that is peeled, deveined and tail off (If using frozen make sure it’s thawed completely)
1/3 cup mayonnaise 
1/2 of a lemon
2 Tbsps chopped scallions
1 Tbsp chopped dill
1 Tbsp chopped Italian parsley
1 Tsp of Old Bay seasoning (more if you like!)
pinch of sea salt and pinch of black pepper
Hoagie Rolls
Softened butter

Directions: Gently pat the shrimp with a paper towel to remove any excess moisture. Roughly chop the shrimp and place in a bowl. Add mayonnaise, squeeze half of lemon and stir to combine before adding in the scallions, dill and parsley. Stir to combine and then add the additional seasonings. Spread butter on hoagie rolls and toast in the oven until lightly browned. Pile on the shrimp mixture and enjoy! 

#shrimproll #foodie #weeknightdinner #easydinner #seafoodlover
Today has been a very Monday-ish kind of Monday. W Today has been a very Monday-ish kind of Monday. We woke up to the sound of chainsaws and rushed downstairs to find that our backyard neighbors were having two of the huge trees that line our shared fence removed. These trees have been here longer than the neighborhood and no, they weren't dead or causing damage to roofs, foundations, etc. They were beautiful and gave us wonderful privacy. We had no notice of this happening so this came as quite a shock. Because we were given no notice, we didn't have the chance to cover our outdoor furniture or plants and everything is now coated in a thick layer of sawdust including the fresh bark we recently put in the garden beds. And now our lovely privacy is gone, replaced by a direct view of an above ground pool and RV. I know, I know, it's totally a first world, privileged kind of problem to have. But, now we have to spend thousands of dollars on plants to try and recapture some semblance of privacy. Now we have days worth of clean up to do after we had JUST done a massive freshening up of our backyard. My overarching feeling has just been weariness at the way our world is today.

I think about how often we try to do right by people, to be respectful and courteous. To be thoughtful and considerate. And it’s not reciprocated. How its starting to seem more and more like people have just given up on those seemingly small niceties. And my soul just feels heavy. Because I feel like so much of what used to be common courtesy is not so common anymore. Drivers on the roads are angrier and more reckless than ever before. Red lights being run are an everyday occurrence around town. On our recent family vacation, I heard more people using the F word out in public than ever before even while around children. Where are manners? Where is kindness? I'm finding myself being surprised when someone is thoughtful because it seems like a rarity. And that's just all on a micro, local level. Don't even get me started on the insanity in our world/culture. After I returned from grocery shopping (which can also be soul crushing), I found myself desperate for a reminder of the truth. 

*Part 2 continued in the comments.*
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