So the saying goes, “If a tree falls in the forest and no one hears it, did it really make a sound?” This seems to apply to the internet these days as well.
If something happens and you don’t blog, status update, tweet or instagram about it, did it really happen?
This is especially true for us full time bloggers. If we don’t photograph and blog about it did the craft really get made? Did that DIY project really get done? Did that recipe really get created?
This post today isn’t about crafts, or DIY or recipes, even though it does involve food.
This post today is about my self esteem and the burden I carry both emotionally and physically. It’s about my addiction….
My addiction. To food.
I wasn’t heavy growing up, even though I was never a “skinny minny”. I was petite and round but a healthy weight throughout my childhood and adolescence. The problem was, I didn’t know it. I think my body image issues started in middle school, when I started developing early. I was curvier than my stick straight friends. NOW that seems to be more accepted, if not admired, with the TV images and media telling us curvy is sexy. Girls are begging to wear bras, even when they don’t need them, while it seems my generation was the last that tried to hide the all too obvious training bra peeking out from under our t’shirts.
Through middle school and half of high school I became obsessed with wearing skirts and dresses. Not for some religious modesty reason but because I felt it covered up my “heavy thighs” which I now know were not heavy at all.
By 10th grade I had resolved some of those issues and went back to wearing pants, finally convincing those around me I wasn’t really Amish (ha!), I grew a little taller and slimmed up and by my Senior year was on the track team (barely..lol) and took off about 20 lbs. I felt good! I worked at The Limited and got to wear lots of cute clothes, I actually even went swimming a few times with gasp…teenage boys present! I always had boyfriends and never lacked dates.
Going into my freshman year of college I was the slimmest I ever was. Tiny waist, curvy hips and a healthy body image…finally.
Then I saw a boyfriend off to war, got engaged when he returned and got married all between 18-20! Shortly thereafter we moved away from our families to a strange new town and state AND I was in a serious car wreck where I was rear ended by a drunk driver. I found myself lying in a second story one bedroom apartment with damaged knees, no family support nearby and a husband in a police academy that took his day and night concentration.
The weight piled on. I “woke up” one morning 6 months later and FINALLY saw the image in the mirror that I had always pictured myself as. Definitely overweight and miserable.
So….I pulled myself together and got back in shape. Okay so no really… I ended up pregnant…at 21 years old.
More and more weight piled on. I was miserable, lonely, missing my family, unable to work because of my knee injuries and subsequent surgery and now I was pregnant.
Fast forward 19 years and so much has changed in our lives. We added another precious child, 6 years after the first, we’ve moved 14 times and have another move in a few weeks..but one thing hasn’t changed. My weight. Okay it has changed, it’s gone up.
I love food. I love thinking about it, reading cookbooks, watching it on TV, shopping for it, preparing it, photographing it and blogging about it. I love how it tastes. I am not in the least bit picky. I’ll eat anything…except green beans. Hate ‘em.
I eat when I’m happy; I eat when I’m sad. I eat when I’m stressed. I eat to celebrate, I eat to mourn…and occasionally I eat for sustenance.
On the other hand I do very little to move my body. The least I can get away with. I bribe the kids to get the mail and take the trash out, in my defense our driveway is a football field length long and up a hill.
I use to want to lose weight so I could buy cute clothes and wear my jeans tucked in boots and wear a swimsuit to the pool and actually get IN the pool and not lay out with a towel over my legs. I wanted to lose weight to look sexy and not be self conscious in front of my sweet darling husband who loves me just like I am. Those are all fine reasons to lose weight.
BUT, I turned 40 last year and something changed. I started aching and hurting. I have flat feet (an obese person’s worst nightmare) and my feet hurt, I mean REALLY hurt! I am tired. All. Of. The. Time.
I have heart palpitations and get out of breath walking….I am scared. I’m too young to feel this way. I have YEARS of fun and life ahead of me.
We will be empty nesters in just 5 short years and I will still be SO young in the scheme of life. I want to travel with my husband and not huff and puff. I want to go to the beach and wear a swimsuit and walk on the beach with confidence.
I want to see my children get married and not be the “obese” mom in their wedding pictures forever and ever. I want to chase my grandchildren. I WANT TO LIVE!
…and I’m scared. really, really scared.
Then it happened. I was tagged in a photo on Facebook I had no control over. It popped up on my timeline and I gasped and then the tears flowed. Because, I realized when I wasn’t standing behind my kids, or cropping the photo or using the wonderful PicMonkey tools available to me that picture was what I looked like. What I “FOR REAL SURE ENOUGH NO HIDING IT” looked like and I was so ashamed. I was so embarrassed.
I sent a plea in the night to my friend, who I had watched the pounds melt off of over the last 6 months. I had silently tracked her progress, cheering her on. She called me the next day and we talked and talked and she helped me get my journey going.
And today, finally, I am ready to share my journey with YOU our precious friends and readers. I have been on my new path to good health for one month today.
I am already down 14.9 pounds in one month, but have so far to go that I don’t even try to picture the finish line yet. I’m not quite ready to share my goal weight, it will mean confessing where I’m starting and I am so embarrassed by that number on the scale… I will though soon, I promise.
Today I AM sharing my “before” pictures, unedited, full body. Am I ashamed…yes…and I’m not sure why since apparently this is how I look and have looked for years to others. I have tried so hard to cover up my addiction with cute clothes, stylish hair styles and a big personality and smile. No more hiding though….especially from myself.
So…again…the question of “did something really happen if no one knows about it” must be asked. Of course we know it does, but for me, I feel that chronicling this journey will hold me accountable. I also hope it will inspire you and maybe encourage someone else to make a life changing decision. Let’s face it, addictions are addictions…and they are so hard to overcome alone.
I promise to make regular updates. As I get my eating habits under control and learn new ways to eat healthy I’ll share that with you as well.
If you have any questions about what I’m doing please feel free to message me privately and I will put you in touch with the right people. My plan may not be for everyone but it’s working for me…and I am determined to become healthy…..
…..Mind, Body and Soul….my life depends on it!
So Proud of you Heather for putting yourself out there like this. Do this for yourself and your family! You are a gorgeous girl and you deserve to FEEL good. I don’t care what the number says on the scale..its all about how you feel. We will cheer you on all the way to the finish line!
You can do this!!!
Hugs
Karin
I’m so proud of you! It’s not easy to put yourself out there, but you are reaching so many people in the same boat and not only will your health change, but will inspire so many others that they can do it! I’m watching from Springfield (the old neighborhood!) and cheering you on!
You are gorgeous, Heather! Thanks for sharing your story with all of us and taking us on your journey, which will, undoubtedly, be very inspiring!
You go girl! It’s funny how the weight just sort of sneaks up on us and we get used to it. Can’t wait to follow along with your progress – I’ll be cheering for you!
P.S. Have you tried French green beans – I hate the regular ones too but the French ones are amazing sautéed in a little olive oil and garlic!
Kelly
Wow! For so many parts of your story, I felt like you were telling mine! I don’t know if it will make a difference coming from a stranger, but I am proud of you! 1st for making the decision to change your life and 2nd for being brave enough to share this story and encourage so many with it.
I need to lose about 60 pounds myself and have been trying for years. I never get past 10 or so. SO frustrating… Although I work, and workout almost every day, I spend as much time at home as I can. At home nobody judges me (except maybe my dogs) and there is no one to compare myself to. It is my safe place. But I’m missing out on life in the meantime. Hopefully one day I can either lose the weight or learn to accept myself the way I am.
I look forward to reading about your journey.
Congratulations, Heather on your new life change! You are an inspiration. Thank you for just being you.
suzy
Today I am also starting the weight loss journey. And like you, I have a long way to go. I look forward to your updates.
Oh Heather, I am so very proud of you!!! Thank you for sharing your story and know that I am supporting you 100% because, you know what? I am on the very same journey!! Do you remember the Midwest Meet-up we had in March? Well, my dear that was my wake-up call…. I knew I could no longer go on like I was. Let’s do this together?! Okay!!
Thanks for sharing your inspiring story! I believe over eating is an addiction; however, unlike drugs or alcohol, we cannot simply avoid food. I hope you continue to share your tips and recipes along your journey. I found myself in the same situation, and as of January have changed my eating and increased my exercising. Keep up the good work. By the grace of God we can do this!
I think you are amazingly beautiful. I know what ever you put your mind to do you will do it and you will find where you are happiest. I will pray for you and cheer for you all a long the way!!!
Great post, Heather and you can do it. We will cheer you on. Now don’t go get too skinny girl. Looking forward to you sharing more info with us as you go on this journey. I just need to get my behind moving more. I won’t wear a swimsuit either, but of course I am a lot older and don’t get out in the sun much anymore except to work in the yard.
Heather,
You’re very brave to post your photos and admit your addiction. As a food addict, I completely understand (and live!) your compulsion to eat. I’m a Weight Watcher lifetime member who’s lost 90+ pounds, and I struggle every day with my addiction.
But you must recognize one important thing: you’ve announced to the world your condition! And you’ve asked for help! Both these actions indicate that you are mentally ready to change. It’s all up to you, and you’re at the point where you want to do it. That’s all it takes: the internal desire.
It boils down to this: What’s more important to you: eating that tasty food item, or looking good and being healthy? You’ve made that choice. Go, Heather! You can and WILL do it!
Linda
p.s. If I can do it, so can you.
congrats to you! One thing I recommend is FitBit One. I took over 38 lbs the last several months. I too realized I did not want to keep “having to lose weight for ______(event)”, and then fail again. I Knew graduations and weddings would be in the near future. Fitbit has helped me to see just how INACTIVE I really am. So here is my problem…..now that summer is here I have fallen off the wagon. I am maintaining, but not losing the last 25 lbs to go. I NEVER FINISH THE DRILL!!!!!! so reading your article has inspired me to finish. One pound a week…2 if lucky…that is all it takes to keep losing. I can tell you that the compliments are wonderful, but the look in my husband’s eye of how proud he is of me…it is amazing. good luck. you can do this. I too am tired of being the fat mom….
Good for you, Heather! I know you can do this! You’ve done great so far.
I gained about 10 pounds when we moved to Ohio from NY {almost two years ago} because I am not working here and we are on one level. All the stairs I used to climb in NY at work and then at home were, apparently, my exercise! Who knew I was exercising everyday and not even realizing it. : ) I’m trying to walk and do some weight work-outs now, I park as far away as I can from stores to walk to them, and I’m trying to make sure I’m not eating much in the way of breads, cookies or candy. I’m down 8 pounds so far and want to lose 4 more.
You’ll get there. I know it’s a cliche but it’s true ~ you didn’t put the weight on overnight, so be patient and you’ll reach your goal.
Thank you, Heather, for putting it all out there. You really spoke to me and I will be contacting you. Good luck on your new journey! So proud of you!!~~Angela
You have accomplished the first steps of your journey to a healthier you…. Now just keep putting one foot in front of the other, one step at a time, one day at a time.
Bless your heart. You can do this for yourself and your family. Take it one day at a time.
Heather: you are so beautiful…and I have loved meeting and getting to know you a bit through co op and kids. You may look at pictures and see one thing, but I see my beautiful, talented friend. I will be praying for you on your journey to optimum health. I know you got this licked… As I see how you tackle so many things in your life. God bless and be with you!
Heather, I am so proud of you. So So proud that you put this out there. I have the same feelings you did and do. I went through some of the same things in school – I look back now and there is only one school pic that I was just a tad bit chubby. But I wasn’t stick thin and no one let me forget that. Our generation seemed to be really stuck on what we looked like and very glad to tell us if they didn’t think we measured up. I’m excited to follow your journey – maybe it will be the inspiration I need to get my own extra pounds off. I’ve been lifting weights every morning for several weeks now – but I’m scared to admit it to anyone because it seems like if I talk about it I quit. I hate the way my arms look and refuse to wear short sleeves. I want to wear short sleeves! But I just can’t do it unless I tone my arms up – quite a bit!
Good luck – and God bless!
Good Morning Heather, Just want to let you know how proud Iam of you for sharing your struggles with weight loss, and the journey you are sharing with us. Praying for God to give you strength, Iam 2 weeks short of a year since I started my journey, I have lost 67 pounds but still have way more to go. Looking forward to you sharing your tips and ideas for weight loss. God will see us all through this journey. Keep in touch!!
How brave of you! A journey begins with the first step and you are on your way! Congratulations on your quest to become healthy……you are already beautiful.
I was in the exact place you are now in 2009. My kids were gone…really gone. I was 40 lbs. overweight, had high blood pressure, acid reflux and feet that hurt so bad sometimes I would like in bed at night and cry. It took me 2 years but I lost the weight. All I did was count calories and walk. Some months were better than others but I dropped 3 sizes and a miracle happened. My feet stopped hurting. NO PAIN EVER. I’ve kept it off and feel pretty good at 54. No one knows better than me how hard it is…but you can do it! Take your time, be gentle with yourself and ask for help if you need it. If you need a cheerleader you know where to find me!
Heather,
Sweet friend…..you are amazing. I am so incredibly proud of you….you are totally amazing.
I look at you and I totally see a supermodel….inside and out!
Happy day!
karianne
Ahh Heather, I so feel with you sister. YOU CAN DO THIS. 2011 when I was going in for a routing womans exam they took my blood and checked sugars. It was through the roof. I was diagnosed with diabetes..already had high blood pressure but they added that and high cholesterol. I was only 45 and had the deadly tri-fecta. It explained so much- why I was tired, felt horrible etc. I was and still am over weight but it is changing.
I lost 20 lbs just by having to change my diet for diabetes. I gained more energy by cutting all those comfort carbs out of my life.
I’m not saying it is easy- I hate to sweat..exercise is fine just can’t stand to sweat but well it comes with the territory. I have my goal to be my ideal target weight by my 20th anniversary in April. It is not my college weight or even my pre-babies weight. Just a healthy – I’ll be happy with myself weight.
I can’t wait to watch your journey and maybe it can keep me on track also. Here’s to less weight in 2014.
tammy
Miss Heather….I am touched by your post today. I look forward to watching you accomplish exactly what you have set out to do. You are BEAUTIFUL INSIDE and OUT and I count it an honor to call you my friend. You can do this!!
Like Kari and Jenn said, when I look at you I see a stunningly beautiful woman (you and Vanessa, both, in fact!) Like, WHOA, they are gorgeous kind of beautiful. I am so happy you have shared this today, even though I’m sure it was hard to pull the trigger on that Publish button for this one. 🙂 I love you so much, and I am cheering for you every step of the way (and myself too, as I walk this exact same path!) My goal is Haven- we have less than two months to go, so I am busting it trying to lose as much as possible by then. The Biggest Loser Challenge has helped me so much! We should do a Bloggers Biggest Loser Challenge! 🙂
I am praying for you!! This will be one of the best decisions you have made for yourself. Your honestly and determination is commendable. Push hard girlfriend and those pounds will melt off just like they did for your friend (BTW – She’s looking good herself!!). God is good and He is your strength. I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13
Heather you are a beautiful person inside and OUT! I am so proud of you for taking control of your life.It will not be an easy journey.But the longer you are on it the easier it will get!You will start to feel so much better inside and have so much more energy.I applaud you for sharing this with others.Someone somewhere is feeling the way you do and you are helping them!God bless you for sharing this! You go girl!
xx
Anne
Very honest post. Good luck on your journey!
Sam
Dear sister of mine, I’m trying to type through flowing tears…I’ve always admired you, looked up to you, wanted to be more like you, thought you were so beautiful, so fun, such an amazing friend, wife, mom, been proud to call you my sister…and that’s never been more true than it is today.
I love you!
Vanessa
Praying for you, dear one!
Heather, I wish you every bit of luck imaginable in your journey and all the health and happiness you crave at the end of it. Most sincerely – Shannon
Just by this post alone you have shown that you have what it takes to accomplish your goals to good health. One day at a time… Congrats to you!
Such courage you have displayed for us. We are all cheering you on.
Incredibly courageous!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Can’t wait to see you climb up in a tree and hang upside down from a limb as you did for the local newspaper photographer when you were six. LOVE, Dad (Shared you sister’s tears of thankfulness for who you are as I read this.)
Now it’s my turn…to watch YOU…and to cheer your progress. You can accomplish anything and everything that you put your mind to. You prove that fact, every. single. day. xo
First, when I look at you, I see a beautiful woman, inside and out. Second, I’m all too familiar with the increased heart rate, fatigue, aches and pains associated with being over weight. And I share your feelings of wanting to LIVE life to the fullest, and actively. Seeing pictures of myself always sends me on a downward spiral of emotions. I share all of this to let you know that you’re not alone. If you need a shoulder, I’m here!
I’m proud of your determination and courage. I’ll certainly be cheering you on…and if there does end up being a Bloggers Biggest Loser Challenge…as Beth suggested, I want in!
Blessings and big hugs!
YAY Heather!!! I’ve always had a battle with my weight. I’m only 5 foot so I can’t get away with much. Last year after much prayer, I realized that I needed God to empower me to change my way of thinking about eating and food. Our outward appearance is secondary to what’s going happening on the inside. I’ve realized my health and well being is determined by what I put in my mouth. bottom line. You may need to make changes, but believe me, your family will thank you for it in the long run. You’re in my prayers, my sweet friend.
You are a great example of what can be done with determination and prayer! I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes last October, and I can tell you – changing the way you eat is no easy matter. But, losing just 10% of my original weight has caused my diabetes to be under control and I know that with small steps, you will get to the weight you want. Looking forward to hearing about your journey!!
Good for you. You are brave and beautiful! Stay strong
Good for you. Proud of you,not only for your 14 lbs (although that is awesome) but for sharing such an inspiring story and journey towards getting healthy. We have all been there whether its struggles with our weight or other addictions and we will stand beside you to love and encourage you…every step of the way. Best of luck!
You are one amazing woman!! I hope you can hear all of us cheering you on! God Bless you for sharing your struggle — I can only imagine how many others you’re inspiring today.
Hugs!!
xo Heidi
I’m working on this, too. I’ve been using the My Fitness Pal app and its been an eye opener! Very helpful app and I’m making slow steady progress. Like the commenters above said, getting started is the hardest part, and more importantly, be kind to yourself! Xoxo
So happy and proud of you! I know it takes so much to share what you have been going through, thank you! You are a beautiful lady inside and out!
Lots of love
Kristin
You are awesome! I can’t wait to follow your successful personal makeover. I’m much older than you and it really hit me that what we eat determines not only our weight but also how healthy our brain is. I want a healthy brain. Jo @ Let’s Face the Music
We’re all cheering for you! You’re a beautiful woman on a meaningful journey! You go girl!
So, of course you already know that you need not be ashamed just because your particular disregard for God’s gift of good health is public unlike many of us who abuse that gift by having a wrong relationship with food and it doesn’t show so it remains private. I am just as quilty as you are about abusing my health by many methods but most of all stress these last years. We confess to the One who gives us our body and move on toward healing. Embarrassed? Yeah, I get that..I am embarrassed of the way age and gravity is taking it’s toll on me as I could be your mother. In fact you are exactly the same age as my daughter and she fights the same battle you do and we are presently on a weight loss plan together. But, sweetie, please please know how especially beautiful you are. Right now, and will be during every step of this journey. I don’t say that to be nice…having never before seen anything but your head shot I have ALWAYS thought you are so pretty. I will be cheering you on…I know you no longer want to have your good life stolen from you. I get that. 🙂
WOW!!!!!! Heather I can’t even begin to say how truly Touched and Blessed am I am by your post today. The amount of COURAGE this must have taken has already landed you in the winner’s seat! I know often we set private goals for ourselves but when we confess those things publicly they become more REAL and Meaningful! As tears well up in my eyes as I think about you it makes my heart only LOVE you all the more. You and Vanessa are both truly beautiful and so giving I only hope one day I get the honor to meet you in REAL life. I would also LOVE LOVE LOVE to see you hang upside down from a tree as well 😉
You have my Prayers and Heart in this new chapter and journey of your life!
xoxo
Angelina
Yay! I’m right there with ya sis!! I LOVE food! It’s my emotional crutch. And I am traveling on that weight loss journey too. I’ve lost 15.5 pounds. And am started to move easier now. Working on those next 15! I’m using MyFitnessPal app. It’s such a great tool! I’ll be praying for SUCCESS!!
Yep. As I predicted, you made me cry! You are so brave to share your journey here. I already know you are a beautiful, full of life person inside and out … and am so happy that you’ve embraced “life” on this journey to a healthier (and happier) you!
Again, thanks for sharing, We all have demons to tackle and you’ve given us inspiration to take them head on …
Your friend and cheerleader,
Linda
I am a new friend of Vanessa’s and truly appreciated this post. It was beautiful in so many ways. I have never really struggled with weight or food addictions but have watched my husband suffer with everything you have written about. I would love to hear your thoughts on how you can best support a spouse or close friend in this area.
Thanks for sharing!! I can so relate! Phil said on our last vacation that the kids will look back and forget I was even there because I never let myself be in any of the pictures! I am proud of you and want to know what you are doing! Please share and give us advice! I need this so much!! Love you!
Cherrie
Heather I am so proud of you. We all have our demons and an addiction to food is a tough one because we all actually need food to live so it’s not like you can completely avoid it. Eating healthy is great for so many reasons, including that you will actually start to feel better from the inside out. Figure out a way to do an activity that actually brings on a sweat for at least a half hour a day. You’ll be amazed how much faster the weight will drop off. Don’t think of it as a diet, think of it as a conscious life-changing decision. A diet is temporary…a change in the way you look at food is forever. Food is just for the energy we need to be able to do all of the things you want to accomplish in life. I am very into health and fitness – anytime you want to talk or need any encouragement, I hope you will let me know. I’d be happy to help you in any way I can. You’re awesome for making this life changing decision and even more awesome for sharing it with everyone.
Heather, you are a beautiful and brave young woman!!! Your story really touched me. All of us who struggle with weight have a story to tell… have ways to hide and have every excuse in the book when we hurt from carrying too much weight! I too know your pain. This past fall I decided (at age 58) that enough was enough!!! I did not diet, but changed my lifestyle… FOR GOOD! For me a low carb lifestyle works best of all. I have tons of energy now and the weight is coming off. I swim a least 3 days a week and try to move more. I’ve lost 90 pounds so far. I still have more to go. It’s slower, but since this is a lifestyle that’s fine with me. I only wish I had made the decision to change my lifestyle at 40. It would have been so much easier and I would have had 18 years of energetic living. Good for you!!!! I know you can do it! When I pray about my health and weight I’ll be praying for you too!
By sharing this post and your journey I can only imagine how many women you will help!!! I’m cheering for you!!! xo
Heather, You are beautiful! Just know that. I too have weight problems that go up and down and right now I have been on the up for two years. I love food too and eat when happy, sad, stressed, whenever. You have inspired me to start exercising again and eating healthy.
I share your feelings to a T! When I see pictures of my younger self and recall how embarrassed I was by my weight, I laugh out loud.I was so curvy and beautiful! Now, I’m pretty much a blob. As a society, we start in on young girls so early. Everyone in my family told me I was fat even as a toddler. As if I was the one feeding myself crap. After years and years of hearing it, we start to believe it and cannot see ourselves as we are. I swear, one day I woke up and I was truly chunky.
Gather you are beautiful and I know it took a lot of courage to post this! You can do it…you’ve got a lot of people cheering for you! I can’t wait to see your updates 🙂
I often think about what I would say to junior high and high school me….amazing how much you learn about life in just a decade or two! Rooting for you here!!
Hi Heather!!
You got this girl!! I am so excited for your new journey and will be praying for you and your family!! Looking forward to hearing about the adventure!
You don’t know how powerful this is to so many people. I started my journey too. I have lost the weight, put it back on, lost it again, and put it back on again…over so many years I can’t even begin to count. But next year I will be 50. The BIG five-OHHHHH! I too want to be able to run with my grandbabies. Heck, I just wanna be able to garden for a few hours and not come in needing a nap. I wish you all the luck in the world and then some. I have been meaning to do the same with a post. I think when you put yourself out there, you make yourself accountable. You are beautiful! xxoo
Heather-
I am SO proud of you for sharing your story! I’m a recovering alcoholic and the hardest thing I ever did was admitting I needed help. You are so brave to share your story with others, knowing that your journey will help others who are in the same situation as you. I have found that one of the most important components of my recovery is being honest and open about my addiction. I’m wishing you the best on your journey and I look forward to hearing updates from you and Vanessa!
Chenoa
Heather – First off, you are so beautiful because your heart shines through no matter what. This post was so beautifully written and something we can all identify with. I saw a picture of myself yesterday and I was quite shocked as well. Somehow we can see things on ourselves – but I also realize we also see our selves with a magnifying glass and with others we seem them as a painting. Your post is inspiring and touching and I look forward to following along with you on your journey.
You go girl! Laura
I’ve got tears in my eyes reading this, Heather. Laura said such true words above, that we imagine ourselves a bit differently than what we really look like, and I think that goes both ways — sometimes we imagine ourselves better than we look in pictures, and sometimes we can be pleasantly surprised and see ourselves looking better than we have been feeling about ourselves.
When I was reading your post, and scrolling down the page, and about to ‘see’ the picture that put you into tears…I was bracing myself for what, I don’t know. And then I saw your picture. Your beautiful picture. Your shiny hair and gorgeous face, and sunny smile, and THAT is what jumped out at me, not your weight. Yes, the weight is there, you are correct, but I guess I just want you to know that “it” wasn’t the first thing that jumped out at me. Nor was it the second. 🙂 YOU jumped out at me, in all of your positive and pretty ways.
I’m cheering you on and if I could, I’d give you one heck of a hug right now! 🙂
You rock:)) It’s not easy to lose weight and the older I get the harder it is. I am on a healthy journey right now and also have been sharing what I am doing to hold me accountable:)) You have great support and I am another one:))) You go girl, one day at a time!
Hugs My new Friend
PS: Here is my first post
https://www.myturnforus.com/2013/04/how-i-lost-20lbs-in-3-months-part-1.html
You just accomplished half the battle my friend. You went public! 🙂 Addiction is a silent killer but only if you stay silent. A day at a time girl. You’ll get there. You are beautiful inside and out. High five rockstar……I’m rooting for ya!
Heather, I just love you! It takes an amazing amount of courage to go public with such a personal story. I know in a few months you’re going to be the one everyone envies because you know where your strength comes from. I’ve started the journey through my 50’s and the one thing I’m unhappy about is my weight. I don’t have a ton of pounds to lose, but starting is just as hard for me as it is for everyone else. It’s not coming off, regardless of how much I have to live, until I determine its importance in my life. There is heart disease rampant in my family and my sister died of a heart attack at age 53. It’s time for me to do something that will impact my life in so many ways. No more blogger butt for me! You have inspired me and I will be praying for your journey and the amazing witness you’re going to have. I’m honored to know you!
God bless you and keep you, Heather! I am proud of you and proud for you. I look forward to watching your progress. And I would LOVE to talk with you about body image. What a great way for the Enemy to attack–I think it’s one of his favorites!
Go you!!! Great post Heather, you are so brave to be so honest. You are gorgeous inside and out and I can’t wait to cheer you on 🙂 Sending hugs and prayers your way!
You go girl!
You go girlfriend!! I am over here cheering you on to reach your goal right along with everyone else!! You can do it!
Wow! Thank you so much for posting that. I needed to hear that. I will be 40 in a few months and in the past two years I’ve gained 30 lbs and I have no idea how it happened! I’ve been quite depressed about it and kind of felt like I was the only one. My core group of best girl friends are all thin and I always feel like the odd man out. But, it was good to hear that someone else feels the same way I do and you inspired me to do something about my weight too. I guess you have to start somewhere!!!! Thanks for being so brave. I really appreciate it. By the way, you are absolutely stunningly beautiful!!!!
You are such a beautiful person Heather! I am so impressed with your courage to put your goal and your personal journey out there for all to see. That takes a rare form of courage, but you will have all of your friends here to cheer you on. Good for you to want to lose your weight for the right reasons, these are the very reasons that will help you to keep it off. There is nothing in this world that is as precious as our bodies, our health, and our loved ones. You will have all three to enjoy so much more for so many more years. Tons of love to you!
Heather–I feel like a mother hen. I am so proud of you. I love you girl. You are such an inspiration.
We’ll do this together.
Cheri
Hi Heather-
We met at the Midwest Meet up with Jennifer Rizzo. I can say that meeting you was an absolute pleasure. You were so funny and so knowledgeable and I just admired you from the minute I met you. I give you a lot of credit for putting this out there. I am sure hitting that post button was NOT easy. You have the right attitude and I just know you will make this happen. I am sure there will be some ups and downs but you certainly have a lot of cheerleaders in blogland. Do you know Shelley from House of Smiths, she put herself out there as well and has lost of ton of weight and looks amazing. If you don’t know her go check out her blog, you will for sure be inspired!! http://www.thehouseofsmiths.com
see you at Haven!
Lynda
OhSoShabby
So I’m late getting here and hope that you see this. I had the same experience last spring and blogged about it. And do you know what? HERE I AM, a year later, back to that weight again. I get so discouraged and could have written this blog post. In a wonderful providential twist, I just happen to be beginning with new vigor on this same journey. I send all my hugs and encouragement your way and will be cheering you on and hopefully joining you.
Wow, you are one brave woman, and I’m really happy you’ve put yourself out there and committed to taking care of you! Know I’m praying for you. You can do this … and you’d better, because we have a trip to take … and you’ll be on your feet a lot. Maybe next Summer? Yes? I’ll be following your fantastic progress and trying to make some of my own. Love you, girl!
Such a personal and hard struggle to share. I am right beside you on the seeing yourself– how you really look– and feeling ashamed at what you have become. Looking back onto photos of yourself when you “thought that you were fat” and longing to be that “fat” again. Good luck to you. I would love to know your plan.
Heather, I think it’s amazing how we start this crazy journey of blogging and it turns into so much more! I was just reading Laura’s post about her husband quitting his job and realized that we are on such similar paths right now with our families. Then I read this post and thought the same thing. I’ve been struggling with weight gain, more so since I’ve had my girls (the youngest is 5, so there is NO more excuses!)and recently have started REALLY working to change my life.
I’m on this journey with you and I know it’s not an easy one. LET’S DO THIS!!!
Hugs,
Angela
YOU are beautiful…inside and out! I’m cheering for you…
Blessings,
Cindy
Thank you Heather for sharing your story – and for including your quote from Max Depree. This entry came at the right spot in my life. Bless you..
Good for you Heather!! I think “putting it out there” is one of the bravest, hardest things a person can do. I’ll be rooting for you the entire time!! You go girl!!
Your post brought tears to my eyes – I know your pain and share it too. When I see your picture, I see a beautiful woman – no shameful weight. But you are so right to get healthy now. I’m inspired by you! Now we all want to know what you are doing that is working so well!
Wishing you all the best on this journey, Heather. You are inspiring, amazing and beautiful!
Ohhh Heather I somehow missed this post earlier in the week. I am so proud of you for posting this. Yes, I think you are beautiful and yes you will feel so much better and be healthier at the end of this hard journey. Thanks so much for sharing. Once I turned 40 I definitely have to battle with a little extra weight and it’s so hard but we all have things or addictions that we have to face. I know I definitely ned to get more active and that stinks!! lol Good luck on the journey and looking forward to cheering you on along the way.
xoxo
Claire
Oh Heather…I hate that you use the word “ashamed”…you should not be…You had an awakening, a realization that you want to be healthy for you and your family…We all do things that we do not realize what the repercussions are…whether it is over eating, etc…I am proud that you have taken on this challenge..a very difficult challenge…and I know that you will accomplish your goals…as you have accomplished so much in your life…I wish you the best on your new journey!!…
I can only encourage you and PRAISE you, as I have the same issue. Food is my downfall, has been for years. I lost weight for awhile after reading Thin Within, a great book, but only kept the weight off for a year. It’s so hard to change the flesh! I’m sending you a prayer for success on this journey. It IS a life/death issue for all of us at some point.
So I’m a little late to this party. God breezed your post from today into my path and I have gone back to read you from beginning to end. Through tears I must say, so much of your story is mine. I already know how your story ends. Now I must begin the journey to see how mine will end. You have already proven to be this incredible force of inspiration just in two blog post. I can hardly wait to read the other regarding your journey. God bless you and all you have accomplished and will accomplish in the future.
I am so blessed to have found your blog. I am 44 and an empty nester. I too have an addiction to food, in addition to struggles from abusive childhood and an abusive 17 year marriage. But recently, something has clicked. I am so sick and tired of being fat and tired. I’m tired of hiding my depression behind makeup, pretty clothes and smiles. I hope one day soon to share my success story just as you have. Thank you for being an inspiration to me, and so many others.
What an inspiration! You are a beautiful person inside and out! Hey…I hate green beans too! Yes…..UGH …the dreaded 40’s….and you just in the beginning stages. I am going through menopause which is not fun with metabolism. I think we need to talk 😉