When I was in college I would frequently call home and pour my heart out to my mom, sharing with her all that was happening in my life in that completely unfiltered way that you can talk with the person who potty trained you. These phone calls usually took place at night and my mom would patiently listen as I vented frustrations about professors, roommates, boyfriends and the food in the cafeteria. And, inevitably, they would end with my mom saying, “Everything seems worse when you’re tired. Try not to overthink things or make any major decisions tonight, especially when you are feeling emotional.” Sometimes I would roll my eyes at this, knowing that she couldn’t see me, but I still listened and took comfort in her advice.
Last week I found myself in quite a funk. Like most of the world, our lives have come to a screeching halt and we’re all just trying to do our best to figure out this new ‘normal’. And as one day rolled into the next and the next and the next, I realized that I was questioning and doubting and feeling frustrated about so many things in my life that were actually completely unrelated to the Corona-virus. Should I still try to write that book? What did that text from that person really mean? Is my family conspiring to drive me insane by using up every glass in the house all in one day? Should I start a new business?
As all of these thoughts competed for space in my mind and began to go into a downward spiral, I remembered the words of advice my mom would speak to me on those phone calls. Don’t over-think things right now.
Try not to make any major decisions when you’re feeling emotional.
Everything seems worse at night when you’re tired.
And suddenly it dawned on me that this season in our lives is kind of like one long nighttime. We’re weary and fearful and overwhelmed and facing so many unknowns and spending a LOT of time inside of our homes. For some, this means a lot of time alone. For others, it means more togetherness than you thought possible.
So, dear friends, may I pass along my mom’s advice to you?
If you don’t absolutely have to make a decision right now, I want to encourage you to wait until life gets back to normal. If you are finding yourself over-analyzing relationships and family dynamics, I want to encourage you to remember that everything seems more dramatic when looked at under a microscope. And, let’s face it, being homebound with our loved ones non-stop makes us all feel a bit like lab rats in an experiment.
If you are tempted to quit a job, start a business, start homeschooling permanently, stop homeschooling permanently, move to a new city, buy a farm, quit pursuing your dream, join a commune or make any other major life decision just…wait. Because, if it is in fact the right decision, it will be made even clearer once our lives return to their ‘regularly scheduled programming’.
Instead, in this strange ‘nighttime’ season, let’s all just take a deep, collective breath and let it out slowly, releasing the anxiety that threatens to overtake us. Let’s help each other maintain some perspective and not slip into a posture of over-thinking every little thing in our lives. Let’s remember that the enemy of our souls would love nothing more than to use this time when things feel dark to manipulate us into thinking that aspects of our lives are worse than they actually are.
And, when we find ourselves waking up to the dawn of life returning to normal, let’s remember how we felt in the weariness of night. Because it’s in the remembering that we will be able to see more clearly the difference between the night and the morning and make choices based on truth and not simply our feelings in the moment.
My prayer for you in these days is that you will have the clarity to know what is true and that you will be filled with peace even while we live in this season of so many unknowns.
“You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you.” Isaiah 26:3
Love to you all,
P.S. This is dedicated to my amazing mom! I still call her for advice and feel so grateful to be on the receiving end of her wisdom and love. She also reads and comments on every single thing I write. Love you Mom! xoxo
Such a well written piece of advice to all of us going through this time in world history. I plan to forward it to several,friends and family along with my pastor who is awaiting a covid19 test result. Your Mother is a wise woman and I will think of her when I wake up at 3am with the night terrors. God Bless you and your family. Kathy
Your mom is a wise woman! So glad you are taking her advice and passing it on to us. Thank you…
Lovely post, and so true!
Although not original, my mothers advice in hard times was always, “ Even this shall pass away”. I was amazed when I said that to my grown son the other day!
‘Mothers wisdom’ going from one generation to the next…
Thank you, Vanessa! Sooo true what you said! I personally CHOOSE to let the peace of God rule my heart during this difficult uncertain time in our lives. Sooo glad we can trust in the God who rules all things.
May God bless you and your family abundantly!
Arlyne
AMEN!
…..to all of that!
Beautiful….thank you for sharing!
Thank you for a ray of sunshine, Vanessa. I pray continual blessings on you and your family and those you reach with His wisdom and love.
And to Kathy Menold who shared her spiritual needs – No weapon formed against you or your pastor will prosper. In Jesus mighty name.
Lots of Love,
Tiffany
I’m glad I sat down and took the time to read this today. Thanks for your kind encouragement. I hope everyone reads this and “mom”, you did a great job !!!
Thank you for this post. There is wisdom in your mother’s advice.
May we all be encouraged during this difficult time.
Thank you so much. You knew as well as your mother what we all need at this time.
Thank you so much for passing your mother’s advice on to me. Just what I needed this morning. While I can’t call my mom on the phone anymore, this brought back memories of “mom conversations “ that are dear to my heart.
Sincerely
Tammie
Very relevant to my current circumstances. Thanks to you and to your wise mother. Blessings, friend.
Vanessa, it is always so good to be able to meet you at The Picket Fence! Thanks for your post today! Your posts are always so encouraging. Your dear Mom is such a wise lady. So nice that she was there to guide you through your difficult times. How blessed we are to have such Godly parents.
I will never forget the wonderful advice that my precious Dad gave me when I was going through my breast cancer, chemo and radiation. He said: “My Girl, always make sure you get up one more time than you fall down! Mom and Dad are praying for you each and every day — many times a day!” It still makes me tear up when I think of my dear and precious Mom and Dad who now reside in Heaven! I was so blessed to have them! I have shared this advice to many who are going through tough times.
In the midst of all this uncertainty, how wonderful to have all the precious memories and know that God is still in control and He knows what each one of us is going through. We have to keep looking up to Him!
Thanks, Vanessa, for always bringing us such encouraging words — and words to live by! I thank God for you! You are such a ray of sunshine! Bless you and your dear family.
Thanks for this article, Vanessa. I lost my Mom on March 9th. She was always my encourager. She was 92 and ready to meet Jesus, but I miss her something awful! Those of us who have had (or have) Mom’s like ours are truly blessed! 🙂
I’m so sorry for the loss of your mom Patty! I rejoice with you that she has met her Savior and that she lived such a long life but I know the loss is still very real and present. May you feel God’s peace more than ever in this time and draw comfort from His love!
Wise enough to say “Yes” to your dad. (Dad)
I think it must have been his humility that did it for her! 😉 Love you Dad!
Thank you for your sweet words, Vanessa. I love the Scripture Matthew 6:34, “…do not be anxious for tomorrow for tomorrow will take care of itself. . . .” because we really only have enough energy for one day at a time. Love you girl, Mom
Thank you for your honesty and sharing something so simple put so special. I am missing my Mom more than ever now. Been almost 22 years and I sure could go for one of her hugs and some of my Dad’s bits of wisdom. Missing my daughter’s voice and praying we heal.
May God continue to bless you and may you continue to share those blessings.
Bless your heart, Linda. God speed.
We are in the middle of packing for a move 1200 miles away that has been in the works for 2 years and has been due to culminate in April—-and your post was timely. God can stop/rearrange/alter/postpone our best laid plans! Remembering He is Sovereign, Cousin Joan (well, Robb’s cousin!)
hey enjoyed your writings so many of them are so real Are you thinking of writing a book what kind of book will it be? I finally got my book published I had to self publish But I have a beautiful new book I am so thankful for it I had it done at westbow and they did a unbelievable job Well my daughter done most of it. She got it all ready for me The Heart Speaks of Love Spirit Life and DEATH.I SHARED ABOUT OUR YOUTUBE VIDEOS AWHILE BACK WITH YOU ALL. My book is songs poems and short stories so many blessings in this book If you go to Amazon and klik top on Kindle you can read some free pages one of my favorite poems is right there in the front for a free read Thank all of you so much and make special prayer for it if you would and may GOD BLESS ALL YOU PUT YOUR HAND TO DO. DEUT:28;12
Best piece from you EVER!! So comforting and peaceful. I have shared It with it with special people around me!
Thank you!
Thank you so much Melanie! That means a lot! 🙂
Wonderful advice and just what I needed to hear! Thank you for this post.
My Mother always said, “This too shall pass”. Those words helped me through a lot of sad or trying times.
Wow, how Profound!! I needed this post and not really related to the Corona Virus issue. Just Life in general. Thank you and your sweet mama.