I mean, her last name is “Popular”!
I’ve known Patty for a very long time. She seemed so harmless at first. Merely making me aware of the little things about myself that I could work on. Patty was really just being helpful!
Patty Popular was more than eager to follow me when we moved across the country right before I started middle school. What I thought would be a fresh start turned out to be the stuff of a John Hughes movie minus the Brat Pack and ultimate 80’s soundtrack. Hormones, boys, braces (twice!) and the sad realization that I might die never having owned a new pair of Guess jeans. You know the ones I’m talking about, right? With that magical little inverted triangle on the back pocket?
Patty was great about reminding me that I would never be “in”. She was quick to point out that I was always just a step behind the rest. I could never get that pony-tail quite high enough on my head. I finally got those Guess jeans but they were hand-me-downs from my cousin and about a year too late. And don’t even get Patty started on how badly I needed to tame my caterpillar-ish eyebrows!
She stayed with me all through high-school (the ultimate breeding ground of insecurity) and college. Oh sure, I had moments where I was able to shake her but she was always so patient. Just waited until the moment when my defenses were down and she could worm her way back into my life.
After I met and married my amazing husband, Patty seemed to disappear for awhile. He was so great about building me up, making me feel beautiful and funny. I got a great job after college and we bought our first home.
And then we moved.
Again.
I think Patty Popular was somewhere rubbing her hands together saying “muwhahaha” when she heard that! Starting over was my ultimate weakness. My “Kryptonite” so to speak.
She knew that relocating gave her a fresh chance to wreak havoc.
And havoc she wreaked! Not only did I struggle to find my way, other factors compounded all of my insecurities and fears and gave Patty Popular opportunities to mess with me in ways she had only dreamed of.
Infertility, family issues, career changes…all of these opened new doors for Patty. It’s funny though. Most of the time I would start out my day just fine. And actually feel confident in many ways. I would be going about my business and then out of nowhere Patty would show up. That confidence had to be undermined in order for her to succeed!
Years later, I started a blog. Just a simple blog. I felt the need for a creative outlet and blogging seemed like the perfect solution. Oh, it was so much fun! People were encouraging and supportive and left such sweet comments.
And then Patty showed up. I’m not sure why I assumed this little part of my life would be sacred and untouched by her but I should have known better.
Recently, Patty Popular tried to keep me from sharing my Spring Mantel. She waited for the moment when I got it all done and was relishing the lovely simplicity of it. She knows how much I loved my first attempt at forcing branches from my cherry tree. And how I think the birds nest “nestled” up against the creamy white pitcher is just so sweet.
I take a step back, cock my head at my Spring Mantel and hear Patty asking me if it’s “Pin” worthy.
Or if I should even be sharing it since most bloggers shared their Spring mantels 2 months ago.
I love to sit in this room with my family and take in the beauty of the custom cherry mantel and built-ins. But Patty Popular doesn’t want me to love it.
She wants me to feel insecure about the fact that my mantel isn’t white. And since I don’t have white woodwork my Spring decor won’t look quite right and it definitely won’t be “Pin” worthy!
But, I’ve decided that enough is enough.
It’s time.
Time to say farewell to Patty Popular!
There’s no room for her in my life anymore.
She has done enough damage and already I think her voice is fading. Oh, I’m not doing it alone though. There has been a lot of prayer and a lot of releasing of past hurts, bitterness and grief. I’ve needed help in getting rid of her.
And, it hasn’t happened overnight. Patty still tries to sneak in here and there.
But, I tell her to go away a lot more quickly now!
And, what about you? Is it time for you to say farewell to Patty Popular too?
Maybe we could all throw her a going away party! I’m sure it would be “Pin” worthy. 😉
Sharing this here:
What a small world! I know that very same Patty.
I love the simplicity of your spring mantel. Its like the best of spring in one small statement. Thank you fo sharing
Vanessa, that was beautifully and artfully articulated!!!!! Satan/Patty is always ready to destroy all that is honest and lovely. He knows our weaknesses and will punch below the belt. Know from where the battle ensues and attack with “I CAN DO ALL THINGS THROUGH CHRIST WHO GIVES ME STRENGTH and CONFIDENCE.” If you haven’t walked with Patty Popular you wouldn’t have the deep knowledge to help others understand. Keep preaching it girl! Lucy
Amen to that sweet friend! Love you! 🙂
Oh I so know this story. You are perfect and so talented. Tell Patty goodbye and don’t look back. I love your mantel, I don’t have white either, and I think that’s fabulous. I love my dark wood, it just speaks to me, so enjoy yours and your beautiful vignette. Hugs, Marty
Thank you so much Marty!! I think Patty won’t know what hit her with all of us rallying together like this! 🙂
Vanessa
You speak to all of us! What if we ALL told Patty we’d had enough …… I love your blog! It does so much more than give lovely ideas to create beauty in our homes …… also beauty in our souls! Thank you for your inspiration in both areas!
Oh, I loved this posting and your mantel. Now I know what “her” name is. Thank you for sharing what we have all experienced.
Vanessa, I don’t know how Patty has time to visit you. She lives with me. Besides, you’re one of the popular girls, and you have so many talents. The nerve of her to show up at your house. This is a great post, and I am sure it speaks to many of us. Thank you for letting me know that Patty visits the popular girls too! Your mantel looks beautiful. laurie
Oh Laurie! I think I might have been voted “least likely to ever be called popular” in school. LOL! I’m truly just a big ol’ dork and feel so blessed to have the opportunity to connect with amazing women like you through blogging. Thank you so much for your sweet, encouraging words!
Vanessa
I know Patty’s best friend Debbie Downer. Debbie has been my side-kick seems like forever. She comes and goes…lately she hasn’t been showing up as much. Maybe she went on vacation with Patty! I loved this post Vanessa…thank you for sharing another piece of your heart. Oh and your mantel? Stunning. Pinning it right now.
Ahhh…yes…Debbie Downer likes to visit me too and I think that she and Patty must be in cahoots! Thanks so much for coming by Ann! 🙂
Vanessa
What a beautiful mantel, Vanessa. The spring decor is perfect. Your post hits home for many women, me included. It’s time to release Patty. Thank you.
Such a cute post and I love your mantel! Tell Patty goodbye!
-Shelley
Sounds to me like it’s time to kick “Patty” to the curb! Keep doing what you’re doing. You are fabulous! We’ve all had Patty’s in our lives. I wonder if Patty has ever had a Patty in her life to know what it feels like???? It took me years to overcome the Patty in my life. Today, I avoid Patty Popular at all costs. If “she” tries to make friends with me, I politely back away 🙂
God created us in his image but he added a twist and made us uniquely individual. What a boring world if we were all identical! Not everyone loves white. We have a mantel made from an old beam from the barn on our property.
Just read this before heading to work today and LOVED it! You’ve really given me something to think about and if Patty Popular shows up, she is not welcome! Something PP should never make you inferior about is your skill at writing, you are so talented! Oh and almost forgot – your mantel is GORGEOUS!
DD
Good for you, we all need to get rid of that voice in our head.
I too like to call Patty Popular, “Satan”, because Patty/Satan keep me focused on the negative instead of how I am unique and can glorify God with my one of a kind perspective! I too struggle with how to release this negative self-talk and know that it is time to let it go. So you go Vanessa! You have a beautiful mantel and a beautiful spirit! Take makes you “popular” in my world!
Great post!
I said goodbye to Patty Popular a long time ago!
I only aim to please God first, then myself. 🙂
Hugs to you beautiful girls!!!
Hi Vanessa
Are you sure Patty popular has been at your place because she has been at mine 24/7 lately.I have just started a new blog for the very first time ever and I feel so unworthy when I peruse through yours and others who have been doing it for so long. Your mantel is beautiful!
Bye bye Patty! Hello Vanessa! I like your spring mantle just fine because I get to see cherry blossoms. We don’t have those here and the real ones are so pretty. Even prettier to me are real posts. Love it all!
I love you Vanessa! And to be honest (maybe it’s the carpenter’s wife in me) if you ever even thought of painting that amazing natural wood mantel I think I would have to question our friendship! 🙂
Oh, Vanessa, I’ve been there. Patty Popular is persistent, isn’t she? It makes me smile to know that you’ve booted her out of your life once again. I think the older I get the more easily I recognize her attempts to infiltrate my thoughts … and the faster I TRY to shoo her away. But, as I said, she’s persistent.
I’m happy you love your family room mantel because you should! I’m happy you shared it because you wanted to! I’m even happy you know how to spell mantel because so many bloggers don’t! LOL I’m also happy you chose such a creative way to tell a story with which we can all identify. Nicely done!
I.LOVE.THIS. Isn’t it crazy? My blog is just such a tiny, little, wee infant of a thing…but I feel this crazy pressure sometimes. Then I pull myself up by the ol’ boot straps and say…”Hey…this blog started by sharing things in life that I love. Me. I love the little saying that says…”Be yourself…everyone else is taken.” Shine on woman! Buck the status quo. Your mantle is beautiful. Okay…I’m done. 😉 ~k.
Sounds waaaay too familiar. BUT God has given you an amazing heart, creative power, and articulate words. You do what makes YOU happy, the designs YOU love, and all will be well.
I actually prefer white against wood. I am going against the “blogger flow” and keeping my natural wood items unpainted! Love wood. Thanks for sharing. And hugs and love.
Wow! You nailed that problem right on the head. Do we decorate for the love of beauty or for the praise of our peers? I’m with you on this. Let’s stop comparing ourselves among ourselves which is unwise. Thanks so much for posting.
Is there anyone that doesn’t know Patty? Love your mantle, so pretty and great post!!!
Blessings,
Cindy
Preach it sister! You are speaking to my heart today, and I love it! I will happily join you in throwing that going away party for Patty. It would be mind blowing! 😀 Love you, V! Keep your head up. Off to pin this gorgeous mantel!
I don’t see how Patty has enough time to visit you, she recieves mail at my address!:> We all have to send her on her way. Love your post, so positive and inspiring.
Your Spring mantel is very serene to me, I really love it! I’ve met Patty Popular, but lately her best friend Maria More Talented has been hanging around. Not sure when I invited her in, but she can wreak havoc so easily with her little remarks here and there throughout the day. Let’s make it a group party and get rid of all of these intruders!
I definitely want to be invited to Patty’s going away party. She spends way too much time stopping by my house. Your mantel and home are beautiful and you are such a wonderful person. I look forward to reading your blog each and every day.
Hi my sweet friend, this is my second time reading this post as it speaks right into my heart, soul and my own insecurities. Thank you for sharing your beauty with us. I adore you my sweet friend and if that Patty comes around again just tell her she better watch out cause I got your back always, just like I know you will have mine when she tries to visit me…xoxox
Lu
I love you girl! You just put into words what I’ve been feeling. We are on our fourth move and I’m struggling with Patty too. You are awesome and I adore your blog. Never think you aren’t good enough.
Well, you spoke to me today too! I think we all have a Patty in us and I applaud you for speaking about her! I’m a new follower and I think you and your blog are awesome! Your mantel is beautiful and I can tell you are too, inside and out! Have a fabulously free Patty day!!!~~Angela
I am glad to let you know Patty has left your house so you don’t have to worry – but i think I saw her going upstairs with a large carry bag. I think she moved in today. sigh
Totally understand where you’re coming from! Love love love the white pitcher!!
I do not have a white mantle – or any white woodwork for that matter. Married to a wonderful man that LOVES woodworking – in it’s natural state. He can build anything – but Painted woodwork is outlawed in our house. I was beginning to think I should just drop all my favorite blogs because no one else seemed to have natural wood, so Petty Patty was really working on me too. Thank you so much for posting this. You have NO IDEA how helpful this post has been for me.
This will go down in the Top Ten Best Posts of all time! Firstly,thank you…I am just getting my Spring Feet wet following difficult physical limitations & 2 surgeries this year & I was getting depressed about how fast bloggers were speeding through the season. I felt like part of the “out crowd” …and I am hosting a large ministry brunch in less than two weeks. Spring lasts for about 20 minutes where I live & I love all the nests, eggs, flowers dearly doing my best to make it feel like spring inside even when the temps are nearing 90 outside. Thank you for validating my choices, for calling Patty out so I can recognize her hurtful words swirling through my mind and for being so transparent. BTW my kitchen isn’t white either! I Waited years to finally buy yummy cherry cupboards to replace the lemon yellow Formica…I have dark cherry and I am not ashamed 🙂
Time to kick Patty on the little triangle on the back pocket!!! No room for her in your beautiful life.
Luvly mantel by the way… pretty little nest .
Hugs, Gee
Wow, this is SO good! I can so relate (and apparently a lot of others can, too!) It’s a shame that we’re so hard on ourselves-or should I say that we allow ‘Patty’ to be so hard on us! 😉
Susan
What a great post. Patty popular must be very busy. I have to remind myself that God has a special purpose for each of us and maybe Patties is to motivate us to be the best us we can be.
I know how you feel about your mantel not being white, my china cupboard is cherry not painted how uncool is that. Oh well I have color on my walls too, not the pale color that might be “in”. I just have to have a little color so pecan was as pastel as I could go and it goes with everything. By the way I would love to come to your going away party for Patty. All of the wonderful ladies I would actually get to meet would be fun.
She always shows up when you least need it
That Patty, isn’t she special? She has been all up in my business lately…and she has whispered those very words, “Is it pin worthy?” In my ears more times than I can count. And I really wish she’d just stop it already about me not having a white kitchen, farmhouse decor, painted furniture and slipcovered sofas.
Love your mantel. Coincidentally, I have nest tucked up against a vase in my Spring decor too…and like you, I think it’s so sweet.
I so wish we could sit and talk person to person some day…this is not the first time your words have resonated with me…as though they were my own. I think we’re kindred spirits, you and me.
xo, Sharon
Oh how I can relate! Great post! It is good to know I am not alone, thanks for your honesty, just beautiful Vanessa!
What a wonderful post, Vanessa! Patty sure gets around, doesn’t she? I don’t have a Spring mantle. I have the “after Christmas mantle” that will probably stick around until next Christmas. I’m sure we can imagine what Patty has to say about this blogger not changing her decor with the seasons! I’m not listening. 🙂
Vanessa,
Your Spring Mantle is lovely and just in time here in Ohio where it snowed again today:)
But your timely message about insecurities and how hard it is to fight them was even more welcomed. It is nice to hear that others are working so hard to banish the voice of self doubt that keeps the “lovely” from showing to others. I love your blog and am glad to see your beautiful birds nest…nothing says the fresh start of spring like some cozy eggs 🙂
Your mantel is GORGEOUS!!! Thank you so much for stopping by today. I think you are as busy as I am and don’t have a lot of time for blog comments! I am so glad to visit you today and am going to come by more often – this truly is one of my favorite blogs!
Stacy
Having moved many times as a child and as an adult, I know Patty really well. It’s great to hear that she will be moving away from all of us in blogland. Great post, Vanessa!
Helen
Oh girl, you got me here! Your patty and my patty must be hanging out together 🙂 I could say so much right now but the most important thing is that you know how incredibly talented you are. On top of that you are an amazing writer a fabulous mom and wife and just and beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside!!! Love you! Patty….go away 🙂
Kristin
We have ALL been here. Yes, I’d like to “pin” Patty up by her ears. I happen to love the simplicity of your mantel!
Girl that was the most touching amazing thing you have ever written! Farewell to Patty, and Hello to dear heart and sould Vanessa! P.S. I love your mantel, and mine is not white either,and there is a good chance it never will be. Patty Popular, I left her back in high school!~ XO
This is so AWESOME! Beautifully articulated. I’m happy to know I’m not alone! 🙂 Let’s kick ol’ Patty to the curb! 🙂
This was very touching Vanessa. I know a girl like Patty too. I think she needs to get lost!! Hugs – Shannon
Pattys are so boring – here’s to blazing our own trails.
K
Oh I love this so much!!! You expressed it so well! I love thinking of that “feeling” as an actually person who needs a good kick in the tush haha! Thank you so much for sharing this and your mantel is BEAUTIFUL! TOTALLY Pin worthy!! You’re an amazing person! Love you! <3
Beautiful mantle!
Kick her to the curb!!! I think we all struggle with this, Vanessa. Your mantel is wonderful, and good grief, wouldn’t it be boring if we were all the same? I love your style, and I think we all need to blog being ourselves…heaven knows I can’t keep up with everyone else! xoxo
Thanks so much Debra! You are so sweet! 🙂
Vanessa, you write the most beautiful things and share the most beautiful projects. I feel honored you linked this up at my party. I am going to not only feature it, but lead in with it. Maybe collectively we can all tell Patty she is no longer welcome in our homes or our heads!
Awwww…friend I would be honored to have you feature it at your party this week and thank you for being so encouraging! 🙂
Vanessa,
Patty isn’t half the woman you are! It is so time to forget Patty. I have left Patty long ago, but I don’t have a white mantel either and every time I post a picture of it I am reminded it isn’t with trend! And the things I post are not always the most pinworthy. My house isn’t perfect or worthy of any pins but, the creative outlet of this blog has been about discovering those parts/projects/photos/recipes from me that are full of beauty that I didn’t know I had in me. I keep on going and keep on discovering. Yes, let’s throw a party and not invite Patty, and light candles on are not white mantels, and dance into the wee hours!
Sherry
I’ve heard those same whispers in my ear throughout the course of my lifetime . . . “Never enough”, “Less than”, “unworthy”, etc. It has taken time and much healing to learn that these are just labels and not truth. In truth I am God’s child, Christ’s friend, justified, redeemed, chosen and appointed to bear fruit. I am COMPLETE in Christ. It is indeed time to say goodbye to the enemy that would keep you from achieving your full potential and step forward with confidence that you were made for a purpose that only you can fulfill!
Blessings from Patti (NOT the popular one),
@OldThingsNew
Totally awesome post – Patty Popular has been a thorn in my life too! And really – who are these ‘in’ people?! What makes ‘them’ the ‘in’ crowd. Sigh.
And if you love your cherry wood then you have every right to love it and share it!! Why would you have any less right than someone with white? they love white – you love cherry. if we were all the same it would be so boring! I love your mantel and I never once even thought about the fact that it wasn’t white!
I want to reach out and hug you… my version of Patty seems to be camped out at my kitchen table, grinning like a cheshire cat these days. Would love to show her the door for good!
xo Heidi
Hi – I love your post! I don’t like Patty Popular and it’s definitely time to tell her to go away. Fiona Fickle has me questioning my posts all the time but she’s not going to win 🙂
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Great post. Patty is a real party pooper. The blogs that I love best are ones where Patty is ignored. For instance, I love when bloggers show a really pretty photo, then they show you the mess just out of view in another confessional style photo. Perfection never is as much fun as real life with a sense of humor! And Vanessa – your mantel looks great!
I almost never comment, however I browsed some comments here
Patty Popular – At The Picket Fence. I do have a couple of questions for you if it’s allright.
Could it be only me or do some of these remarks come across like
they are written by brain dead people? 😛 And, if
you are posting on additional social sites, I would like to keep up
with everything new you have to post. Would you make a list
of all of your social networking sites like your twitter feed, Facebook page
or linkedin profile?