Friends, I need to confess to you, I hit the publish button on this post with great hesitation and may or may not have closed my eyes while I did it. Why, you ask? Well, when I originally asked for opinions about whether or not to add pillows to my new bedroom settee I had NO idea how many of you would weigh in.
And, for the most part, everyone was really lovely and gracious. Truly, I’m so very grateful for this community here and never want to seem like I’m complaining.
But, I’m human.
And, I’ll admit that it stings a bit when I’ve asked for opinions on one specific part of a room but find that I’m getting opinions about many other things in the room that people think need to be changed. Or being told that my decision to even have this settee at the foot of the bed was the wrong one.
I know that in today’s culture, we’re quick to offer our opinions and it’s so easy to do from behind the safety of our screens. And I know that I DID ask you to weigh in about the pillows. But, you can see why I might have been filled with a little bit of trepidation as I prepared to show you the choice I ended up making.
So, all I will say is, please be kind. If you don’t like what you see, that’s ok. But maybe, just maybe, it’s also ok if I don’t know that. Because, at the end of the day, I’m happy with my decision and that’s all that matters, right?
So, without further adieu, here is the pillow I selected for the settee!
I decided that my best option was to go with a custom pillow cover (ordered from this Etsy shop) in the same Bosporus Toile pattern as the pillows on the bed.
I really love how it all ties together and with the addition of a throw blanket it helps to create a softer look.
The settee ended up being just slightly more gray toned than I had planned and the pattern on the pillow really brings all of the colors of the room together.
I’ve been doing some more freshening up around the room and also recently added in these botanical prints with black frames.
I have more to show you but that will have to wait for another day! In the meantime, let me just say again how truly grateful I am for all of you who meet me here at the picket fence. Whether I’m sharing my home or sharing my heart, I always feel so blessed to be apart of this amazing community. This is a place where we can encourage and support and yes, even share our opinions.
But, it will always have way more impact if it is said with grace and kindness, don’t you think?
Thank you so much for meeting me at the fence today sweet friends,
That settee is gorgeous! It doesn’t look too dark. It looks a comfy place to read.
Sorry to hear about the negative comments. Unless a person is actually in the room, I think it’s really difficult to judge a room, especially furniture layout. Your home is beautiful!
You’ve created a room that looks welcoming and peaceful at the end of busy days. Beautuful!
I love how it looks and love your settee pillow choice to tie in with the pillows on your bed. Love that print, too. I agree it ties all of your colors together. Very pretty.
I think it all looks beautiful and inviting. I love the botanical prints.
Your bedroom is serenly lovely and your pillow on the settee is a perfect choice, tieing everything in the room together nicely. Brush off the nay-sayers because some folks can’t be happy unless they’re peeing on somebody elses Cheerios. You did a beautiful job on that room. I love it.
Scatter joy and be kind! Words to live by~ everyday. If it can’t be said with kind intent, does it really need to be communicated?
Your final decision is perfect!
You have such good taste, and it looks beautiful and inviting!
I <3 it!
So sorry about the negative that came your way. It must have been harsh for you to have commented. I am not an expert—I just know what makes me happy and I decorate accordingly. So my comment is just from an ordinary senior! I love the decision!! To be honest, I never really noticed the beautiful print on the pillows on the bed until now–classy but warm!Maybe I’m old-fashioned–but I would love a bedroom where I could have a chair and love seat to be my total refuge from the “world”. Thank you for sharing all that you do. What a boring world we would live in if everyone wanted the same thing. Enjoy and please keep sharing!
Amen, sister and the pillow is perfect. I love the settee at the end of the bed. My mom has a love seat at the end of hers and it’s such a cozy spot for her.
Hi Vanessa. I completely love the toile you have in your bedroom and the way the settee looks (confession-I have one at the foot of our bed too!).
I had a question. If you would ever like to collaborate on a monogrammed item for your home, I’d be happy to contribute my services. I am starting a custom monograming businesss. I am on Instagram as “ModernMonogramming” and website coming soon. Thanks in advance for considering!
Where did you get the gorgeous bed skirt ?
I Love EVERYTHING about your bedroom, your pillow choice is perfect. What a calm, dreamy space!
To me, there is a subtle French influence that is lovely. Even your stronger framed botanicals add the “little black dress” effect– a dash of black in an otherwise neutral space is such a great addition.
Sorry you got some negative comments earlier– over my stove is the saying “Say kind words and you will hear kind echoes.” I like to be reminded of that every day!
Love the color. Love the size
I can’t imagine someone said anything but how beautiful your room looks. Pillows or no pillows you have to live in the home you are crafting so it should reflect your family’s style. I love your work and though your style might not work in my house I can always learn from your choices and the thought behind them. Keep up the beautiful work as you craft a home and life that should make you proud!
I think it is perfect. I love how the colours of the pillows go well with the mirror and chandelier.
Beautiful….I know you will enjoy your new settee and the pillow choice is perfect. I didn’t weigh in before, however, we all need to be encouraged. 💐
It looks wonderful! I like how it ties bed and setee together, You have very good taste! Thank you for opening up your home to all of us strangers.
I hear you!!! Pretty Pretty Pretty. As my Mom always said “if you have nothing nice to say –say nothing at all!” Good words to live by!!! Have a wonderful day!!!
Vanessa
Love the pillow! I’m trying to figure out how to take my plum french chair that I have had for a long time to work with new chairs that have blue in them in my living room. Sofa will be neutral. I think I will stumble over to ETSY and look for pillows. I have been busy trying to find fabric to make my own cover with no success. Then I thought maybe a needpoint pillow might work too.
I LOVE the botanicals. This is also something I have been looking for for a while. Any suggestions where to find them?
OOPS meant to respond to your initial comment too. Lately it seems like blog viewers more and more are not filtering their responses to posts. It is sad to hear this and read. First and foremost thank you for all the hard work you put in to your posts at Picket Fence. I love it all and LOVE your ideas…Heather’s too! I learn so much and as you will see by my previous note sometimes I’m looking for guidance.
I sincerely wish readers would filter their responses. Each of us are individuals and of course our tastes are all going to vary. I always strive to say something positive!
Keep the awesome posts coming.
I think that your settee is so pretty and I love your pillow choice. I love that fabric and have it on my kitchen chairs. I also understand your reluctance and I would feel the same. I’m not sure why people feel like they have to be the great decider of all things! Just know that most of us on the Blogs only give advice when asked.
Love your home.
hugs,
Sissie
Thank you so much Sissie! I appreciate your kind words. 🙂
Vanessa,
Your room is just lovely! The settee is perfect for a bedroom (I have one at the end of our bed, too) and the pillow is absolutely the right choice!
Thank you Patty!
Thanks for making your statement regarding kindness in posting. It seems many have forgotten their humanity and reply as though the reciipient has no feelings. Social media is a wonderful tool but we all need to be more thoughtful in our use. The old saying is never truer: “If you have nothing nice to say……” BTW, I have that same pillow in my bedroom so I think your final decision is fantastic!
Thank you Jonelle! 🙂
I don’t usually comment at all. However, I feel the need to do so here. I LOVE this space. You can tell simply by looking that a lot of care and consideration went into the planning and execution of the decor. I cannot imagine anyone, anyone at all would be such a spoil sport as to criticize your choices. They are YOUR choices and to criticize them does not represent constructive comments in my opinion. We need to be more careful of our written words……..they can hurt more than people know. You were very gracious in your reply. I could move into this room and never change a thing!
Linda you are so kind and I truly appreciate your encouraging words! Thank you for taking the time to comment today. 🙂
I love everything about it! It looks like an oasis.
Thank you so much Davonne!
I love this room. Those pillows are fantastic. Why are they called bosporus toile? I am interested because my bedroom is done in toile.
Thank you Linda! You know, I’m not exactly sure why it’s called Bosporus. I’ll have to look it up! 🙂
Love the pillow and the prints.!
Thank you Vicky!
Everyone is a critic! It seems people today think that there is no need for filters, just because it’s socially accepted.Pertinent quotes are seldom used but so needed..” If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.” Constructive criticism is an art which today hardly any one knows how to apply. Vanessa we are all are on some kind of journey, some are at places where we have moved on from and they still are learning. Hard to accept but you have a wonderful HEART and bringing this to people’s attention is a mentoring moment. I admire you for confronting such an issue.
Thank you so much Cynthia! I appreciate your words of support and encouragement. 🙂
Perfect pillow choice! It brings it all together quite nicely, I think. Thank you for sharing your heart and your home.
Thank you Sherry!
I love your bedroom! Your color choices are beautiful! Toile is one of my favorite fabrics and your choice of toile ties all the colors together beautifully!! A very cozy room!! Great job!!
Thank you Beth!
I think your room is beautiful and very peaceful and relaxing.
Thank you Lynn!
I hope it wasn’t me. I was trying to remember what I might have said because I believe I commented on your post. I might’ve said that I’ve always wanted a settee or a bench at the end of my bed, but that my husband would probably use it as a clothes rack. Ha! I might have pointed out that a pillow would partially cover up the pretty tufting, but since I’m always looking for lumbar pillows to accommodate my back problem, I probably would’ve been in favor of a pillow. The one that you chose is beautiful and it ties everything together! Your bedroom looks serene, and lovely! I can say that honestly from my heart. I’m glad you mentioned this though, because words on a page can sound harsher than intended, especially without inflection. This has been a quandary before for me, when I wanted to help. I wondered (about another blogger) if she would prefer honesty or flattery. Since I couldn’t offer compliments (because although I LOVE her sweet spirit, I don’t appreciate her style very much,) I ultimately decided to remain silent. Whatever style decisions one makes in their own home, it must be right for them, so it cannot really be considered wrong. I will try to employ grace and kindness though, (as you suggested) if I do comment, but perhaps I ought to just stick with the old rule that our mothers taught us: “If you don’t have anything nice to say, say nothing at all.”
It definitely wasn’t you Rebecca!! I really do appreciate input from people especially when I’m the one to ask for the opinions in the first place. LOL!! You are a treasured and valued part of our community! xoxo
The pillow is perfect, for all the reasons you stated! Thanks for opening your heart to us today… It was done with much grace and love. God is good!
Thank you so much Julie! I appreciate you!
I really love how you brought the pattern on the settee pillow to match your other pillows. I think the gray of the settee is very pretty.
My grandmother used to say if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything.
Thank you Elaine!
I absolutely LOVE it!!!!! And those pillows are the icing on the cake. Love the pattern, the color, and they go perfectly in your bedroom. I really think your settee was saving a special seat for that lovely pillow. 😉 Continue to do your thing. We love watching you shine!!! 🙂
Awww…thank you so much Deb!! Appreciate your encouragement!
I think the room is beautiful. Keep posting pictures… BTW, I purchased your book. Love it!
(People will say things behind a computer screen that they would never say to your face. I think it is brought on by jealousy in a lot of cases. Some people chose to belittle or say unkind words to bring someone else down as a means to lift themselves up. It doesn’t work!)
Thank you so much for your kind words about the room AND for purchasing our book!!
Vanessa, I love meeting you at the Picket Fence! I always enjoy when you share your home and your heart! Bless you for doing this!
I really love your pillow choice! It looks lovely!
Thank you so much Mary-Ann! I so appreciate you!
The settled is lovely just where it is and the great thing about a small scale piece like that is you can always move it to refresh the look of the room if YOU decide to. But you already know that! It makes me sad that people offer Unsolicited advice so freely. No one needs to hear negativity either, so just focus on what is right for you and what makes you happy
Thank you so much Susan!
Love it! Serene space you’ve created!
Thank you so much Kathy!
I love the settee at the foot of the bed and loved the beautiful pillow!!!
Thank you so much sweet friend!
Oh Vanessa,
That pillow is perfect. That was exactly what I envisioned when I responded to your request for input. I think you’ll be pleased with it for a long, long time. I know if it that was my bedroom I would be!
Sadly in our culture many people have forgotten how to be kind to others. Hopefully your gentle reminder will be reminder enough.
Dear Lord, help me by Your Spirit to be gracious and kind to others and to always represent You well
and help us all to realize how are words wound others needlessly.
I don’t know why I’m shocked that people would be rude, cruel or unkind. It unfortunately seems to be the only way some people can communicate. Your bedroom is lovely….the operative word here is YOUR bedroom. When I’m asked what advice or thought I would share/give to another has always been two simple words……Be Kind! Keep doing what you do best and enjoy every moment. God Bless!
I think it is all quite lovely! I love the toile and the pillow is perfect!
I LOVE the pillow!! And the settee! And the pillow ON the settee! Your entire bedroom is lovely and tranquil. I’m having “place to sit at the end of the bed” envy right now, because I’ve wanted to do that in our master bedroom for almost the entire 41+ years we’ve been married!! My sweet hubby has categorically quashed that idea most definitively! So, I will just enjoy looking at the pictures of yours. Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous!!
Your room is lovely. Don’t change a thing. I wish I had your eye for design.
The pillow is very pretty and what makes you happy is what really matters- it is YOUR room and kind words are always a better choice. 😊
I’m sure some people don’t realize that they don’t need to voice their opinions about everything! 😬😉 Keep your chin up and keep blogging! I really enjoy your IG and blog!
I love it. And I want you to come decorate my house for me!
It looks lovely, Vanessa. And if it is what you want, that’s all that matters. Maybe instead of asking the masses next time, perhaps a trusted friend would be a better choice. But it is beautiful and suits you!!!
I must have missed the bedroom post somehow. this is the first time seeing it and wow what a beautiful room. and I love your pillows. my 40something daughter and I were just talking about the way her generation talks to one another being mean, critical and sarcastic. I noticed it started when she was in college, now she and her husband are doing it with their children and making a huge effort to stop. why do so many act like smart alecks or know it alls? It’s a VERY unattractive way to act.
I really like your settee and the pillow that you chose to match the pillows on your bed.
Love the bedroom. It looks beautiful and I love the settee.