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At The Picket Fence with Vanessa Hunt

Where Ideas for your Home Meet Inspiration for your Heart

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September 27, 2020

The Slow Exit

One of my kids’ favorite memories, a story they still recount to this day, is of the time when they were little and we were baking banana bread together. It was an almost weekly ritual and they would pull their little stools up
to the counter and take turns putting ingredients into the bowl. When it was time to add the bananas, we would use the potato masher and scream “Ewwww! Banana worms!”, as we watched the bananas ooze out of each hole in the masher.

This day though, after the flour was added, someone (it’s still up for debate about who it was) accidentally turned the speed up on the mixer too high and flour went EVERYWHERE. It was like an eruption of flour and it coated every surface including us. Silence followed as the kids turned their little faces towards mine to see how I reacted. After a stunned pause, I burst out laughing and they joined in and we all laughed at the absurdity of that moment. And almost every time we’ve made banana bread since then, we’ve chuckled over that memory.
Fast forward to last week and my 17 year old had a hankering for apple pie. He found a recipe online, made sure he had all of the ingredients and asked me if I would just be in the kitchen with him in case he had any questions…and to peel the apples.
The pie he made was AMAZING. Truly one of the yummiest I’ve ever had. It was an inside out kind of pie with the most glorious caramelized crust.  But sweeter than the pie was watching this young man of mine confidently moving about the kitchen and laughing and chatting with him about nothing and everything.
I like to think that I’m earning bonus points with my future daughter-in-law.
Mamas of littles, I hope you know that what you are doing now is putting a down payment on who your kids will become someday. It’s an investment you will never regret. Let the flour explode and the spoons be licked and never doubt for one second that this is sacred work you are doing.
This stage of parenting is often referred to as the ‘slow exit’. Step by step, inch by inch, they are working their way out of the nest and preparing to take flight. It’s so bittersweet to watch them grow up, but I’m finding that there is definitely more sweet than bitter.
I often wonder if maybe, someday, my kids will make ‘banana worms’ with their children. Will they understand that all of those little moments combined together to make an impression on their souls and will they look back with gratitude for the investment we made into their lives? And, even though we don’t expect it, maybe they’ll come back and thank us.
Maybe they’ll even bring an apple pie!
Thanks for meeting me here,

—

18 Comments Filed Under: Family, Good Thoughts

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Comments

  1. Kay says

    September 27, 2020 at 11:31 AM

    My littles are bigs now and I have realized that the precious time and conversations in the kitchen and in the car are building blocks for the future. How delightful that he wanted you in the kitchen ( to peel the apples) because he remembered the time you spent with him in the past. He may have something important to talk to you about. You have made wonderful memories, so you can pat yourself on the back!

    Reply
  2. Cindy says

    September 27, 2020 at 11:36 AM

    TEARS 🙏😩😢😢😢

    Reply
  3. Michele M. says

    September 27, 2020 at 1:28 PM

    Love this post.

    And it all happens SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO fast.

    Had my adult daughters and my 4 year old grand girl for a sleepover last night and we did fun crafts –
    trying to make those memories much as I can. ♥♥♥

    Reply
  4. Janis C Yager says

    September 27, 2020 at 3:27 PM

    Oh my gracious…that boy has grown up! I’ve followed you for many years & enjoy the journey. Many memories I have in OR, as g’children are now adults in Dallas, OR!

    Reply
  5. Rhonda says

    September 27, 2020 at 5:44 PM

    How precious those times are they go so fast you wish you could hit rewind.

    Reply
  6. Theresa Palm says

    September 27, 2020 at 5:53 PM

    Thank you so much for sharing! Brings tears to my eyes as I recall hubs n I becoming empty nesters just 3 years ago. It’s a new stage of life for us and the 2 AMAZING young adults that we raised.
    We hold every memory dear to our hearts.❤

    Reply
    • At The Picket Fence says

      September 28, 2020 at 11:21 AM

      It really is so bittersweet! You must be so proud of the amazing young adults you’ve raised and yet it just goes way too fast. Enjoy these years! xoxo

      Reply
  7. Doris says

    September 27, 2020 at 9:14 PM

    Awwwww! Such a sweet story. They grow up too fast. They will never forget the banana worms, and I think they will teach their children how to make them too! You are such a good Mama, Vanessa!

    Reply
    • At The Picket Fence says

      September 28, 2020 at 11:18 AM

      Thank you so much Doris!

      Reply
  8. Miss Daisy says

    September 28, 2020 at 7:18 AM

    My girls at ages 4 and 5 could make homemade biscuits , cornbread , cookies etc. and we loved the process and it was a process.

    Reply
    • At The Picket Fence says

      September 28, 2020 at 11:16 AM

      That is so impressive! It’s so good being in the kitchen with our kids. Blessings to you!

      Reply
  9. Cindy says

    September 28, 2020 at 7:48 AM

    I love and appreciate your heartfelt words so much. I have followed you for several years now and you always speak with such wisdom and from the heart. I love that about you. You are open and beautiful and kind. I cherish those times with my grandchildren now and get to learn so much about them as they continue to teach me back. You are a gift from God. I hope you keep writing. Your voice needs to be heard.💛

    Reply
    • At The Picket Fence says

      September 28, 2020 at 11:14 AM

      Oh thank you so much Cindy! You have no idea how much I needed your words of encouragement today. Many blessings to you!

      Love, Vanessa

      Reply
  10. jeanie says

    September 28, 2020 at 11:30 AM

    The pie looks delicious and oh, so pretty! I have followed you for years and it is hard to believe your Son is now 17. Happy Son’s Day!

    Reply
    • At The Picket Fence says

      September 30, 2020 at 10:06 AM

      You are so kind Jeanie! It’s hard for me to believe he is 17 too! 😉

      Reply
  11. Leana says

    September 28, 2020 at 5:22 PM

    This is just magic, not only your children but when you are cooking with grandchildren it’s so much fun! Bonding over meals special cultural food and times of the year/s is one of life’s most treasured priceless gifts. Every childs precious. Blessings to all.

    Reply
    • At The Picket Fence says

      September 30, 2020 at 10:08 AM

      Thank you so much Leana!

      Reply
  12. Christa says

    October 28, 2020 at 9:58 AM

    I had tears at the end of this post. It captures exactly how I feel when I spend time with my girls – 22, 20 and 15. Watching them grow into wonderful young women has been the joy of my life. Thank you for expressing this sentiment so eloquently.

    Reply

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