• Home
  • Privacy Policy
  • Contact
    • Collaborate
  • Blog
  • Parties
    • Children’s Parties Ideas
    • Holiday Parties
    • Adult Party Ideas
  • Holiday Ideas
    • Christmas
    • Easter
    • Fourth of July
    • Spring
    • Thanksgiving
    • Valentine’s Day
  • Seasons
    • Winter
    • Spring
    • Summer
    • Autumn
  • Recipes
    • Appetizers
    • Beverages
    • Desserts
    • Main Dishes
    • Side Dishes
    • Soups
  • Project Gallery
    • Crafts
    • Decorating
    • DIY
    • Good Ideas
    • Tutorials
  • Nav Social Menu

    • Bloglovin
    • Email
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter

At The Picket Fence with Vanessa Hunt

Where Ideas for your Home Meet Inspiration for your Heart

  • Book
  • Speaking
  • Meet Vanessa
    • Featured

September 27, 2020

The Slow Exit

One of my kids’ favorite memories, a story they still recount to this day, is of the time when they were little and we were baking banana bread together. It was an almost weekly ritual and they would pull their little stools up
to the counter and take turns putting ingredients into the bowl. When it was time to add the bananas, we would use the potato masher and scream “Ewwww! Banana worms!”, as we watched the bananas ooze out of each hole in the masher.

This day though, after the flour was added, someone (it’s still up for debate about who it was) accidentally turned the speed up on the mixer too high and flour went EVERYWHERE. It was like an eruption of flour and it coated every surface including us. Silence followed as the kids turned their little faces towards mine to see how I reacted. After a stunned pause, I burst out laughing and they joined in and we all laughed at the absurdity of that moment. And almost every time we’ve made banana bread since then, we’ve chuckled over that memory.
Fast forward to last week and my 17 year old had a hankering for apple pie. He found a recipe online, made sure he had all of the ingredients and asked me if I would just be in the kitchen with him in case he had any questions…and to peel the apples.
The pie he made was AMAZING. Truly one of the yummiest I’ve ever had. It was an inside out kind of pie with the most glorious caramelized crust.  But sweeter than the pie was watching this young man of mine confidently moving about the kitchen and laughing and chatting with him about nothing and everything.
I like to think that I’m earning bonus points with my future daughter-in-law.
Mamas of littles, I hope you know that what you are doing now is putting a down payment on who your kids will become someday. It’s an investment you will never regret. Let the flour explode and the spoons be licked and never doubt for one second that this is sacred work you are doing.
This stage of parenting is often referred to as the ‘slow exit’. Step by step, inch by inch, they are working their way out of the nest and preparing to take flight. It’s so bittersweet to watch them grow up, but I’m finding that there is definitely more sweet than bitter.
I often wonder if maybe, someday, my kids will make ‘banana worms’ with their children. Will they understand that all of those little moments combined together to make an impression on their souls and will they look back with gratitude for the investment we made into their lives? And, even though we don’t expect it, maybe they’ll come back and thank us.
Maybe they’ll even bring an apple pie!
Thanks for meeting me here,

—

18 Comments Filed Under: Family, Good Thoughts

Subscribe

Get the latest goodness straight to your inbox!

Previous Post: « Apple Bread Pudding
Next Post: Autumn Home Tour »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Kay says

    September 27, 2020 at 11:31 AM

    My littles are bigs now and I have realized that the precious time and conversations in the kitchen and in the car are building blocks for the future. How delightful that he wanted you in the kitchen ( to peel the apples) because he remembered the time you spent with him in the past. He may have something important to talk to you about. You have made wonderful memories, so you can pat yourself on the back!

    Reply
  2. Cindy says

    September 27, 2020 at 11:36 AM

    TEARS 🙏😩😢😢😢

    Reply
  3. Michele M. says

    September 27, 2020 at 1:28 PM

    Love this post.

    And it all happens SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO fast.

    Had my adult daughters and my 4 year old grand girl for a sleepover last night and we did fun crafts –
    trying to make those memories much as I can. ♥♥♥

    Reply
  4. Janis C Yager says

    September 27, 2020 at 3:27 PM

    Oh my gracious…that boy has grown up! I’ve followed you for many years & enjoy the journey. Many memories I have in OR, as g’children are now adults in Dallas, OR!

    Reply
  5. Rhonda says

    September 27, 2020 at 5:44 PM

    How precious those times are they go so fast you wish you could hit rewind.

    Reply
  6. Theresa Palm says

    September 27, 2020 at 5:53 PM

    Thank you so much for sharing! Brings tears to my eyes as I recall hubs n I becoming empty nesters just 3 years ago. It’s a new stage of life for us and the 2 AMAZING young adults that we raised.
    We hold every memory dear to our hearts.❤

    Reply
    • At The Picket Fence says

      September 28, 2020 at 11:21 AM

      It really is so bittersweet! You must be so proud of the amazing young adults you’ve raised and yet it just goes way too fast. Enjoy these years! xoxo

      Reply
  7. Doris says

    September 27, 2020 at 9:14 PM

    Awwwww! Such a sweet story. They grow up too fast. They will never forget the banana worms, and I think they will teach their children how to make them too! You are such a good Mama, Vanessa!

    Reply
    • At The Picket Fence says

      September 28, 2020 at 11:18 AM

      Thank you so much Doris!

      Reply
  8. Miss Daisy says

    September 28, 2020 at 7:18 AM

    My girls at ages 4 and 5 could make homemade biscuits , cornbread , cookies etc. and we loved the process and it was a process.

    Reply
    • At The Picket Fence says

      September 28, 2020 at 11:16 AM

      That is so impressive! It’s so good being in the kitchen with our kids. Blessings to you!

      Reply
  9. Cindy says

    September 28, 2020 at 7:48 AM

    I love and appreciate your heartfelt words so much. I have followed you for several years now and you always speak with such wisdom and from the heart. I love that about you. You are open and beautiful and kind. I cherish those times with my grandchildren now and get to learn so much about them as they continue to teach me back. You are a gift from God. I hope you keep writing. Your voice needs to be heard.💛

    Reply
    • At The Picket Fence says

      September 28, 2020 at 11:14 AM

      Oh thank you so much Cindy! You have no idea how much I needed your words of encouragement today. Many blessings to you!

      Love, Vanessa

      Reply
  10. jeanie says

    September 28, 2020 at 11:30 AM

    The pie looks delicious and oh, so pretty! I have followed you for years and it is hard to believe your Son is now 17. Happy Son’s Day!

    Reply
    • At The Picket Fence says

      September 30, 2020 at 10:06 AM

      You are so kind Jeanie! It’s hard for me to believe he is 17 too! 😉

      Reply
  11. Leana says

    September 28, 2020 at 5:22 PM

    This is just magic, not only your children but when you are cooking with grandchildren it’s so much fun! Bonding over meals special cultural food and times of the year/s is one of life’s most treasured priceless gifts. Every childs precious. Blessings to all.

    Reply
    • At The Picket Fence says

      September 30, 2020 at 10:08 AM

      Thank you so much Leana!

      Reply
  12. Christa says

    October 28, 2020 at 9:58 AM

    I had tears at the end of this post. It captures exactly how I feel when I spend time with my girls – 22, 20 and 15. Watching them grow into wonderful young women has been the joy of my life. Thank you for expressing this sentiment so eloquently.

    Reply

Leave a Reply to Theresa Palm Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

Search This Blog

Take the Quiz

Stay updated!

Get all the latest goodness straight to your inbox!

Get the book!

Invite Vanessa to speak at your event!

Must Reads

Cozy fall fireplace decorations with an oversized chalkboard

Recent Posts

  • A New French Country Dining Table February 3, 2021
  • Open Now December 17, 2020
  • Tradition and a Christmas Home Tour December 9, 2020
  • Tabletop Hot Cocoa Station November 29, 2020
  • A New Front Door November 10, 2020

Get all the latest straight to your inbox

Footer

Instagram

I've been watching our cherry trees bloom for 12 y I've been watching our cherry trees bloom for 12 years now and every year I ohhhh and ahhhh over the blossoms like it's the first time I've ever seen them. I gush and I take photos (that look exactly like the ones I took the year before and the year before that) and I make my family come outside and look at them with me which you know they just LOVE to do. 😉 I think that is one of the main reasons why I love spring so much. On the one hand, it's predictable and yet, on the other hand, it still feels like such a surprise after the long months of barren branches.

And yesterday, as I was staring at the gorgeous blossoms for the umpteenth time, I couldn't help but think that I hope this is how I feel when our lives return to some semblance of normalcy.

I hope that the predictable feels special and that the typical feels anything but. I hope that I ohhh and ahhh over the simple things I've realized I've taken for granted. And, most of all, I hope that feeling doesn't go away for a very, very long time! 💗
Are you living with great expectation friends? Bec Are you living with great expectation friends? Because He is risen!

Happy Easter from my home to yours!
Lemon bars all ready for tomorrow! It’s going to Lemon bars all ready for tomorrow! It’s going to be a different kind of Easter for sure but some things don’t change. Have you been baking and getting ready for tomorrow? What’s one thing on your menu that you have to have every year?
If this is Good Friday, why doesn’t it feel so “good”? It all seems backward doesn’t it?

What could be good about the unspeakable pain he suffered? What could be good about the shame and betrayal?

Easter Sunday is so joyful, bright and cheery. Shouldn’t that be the day we call “good”? It just feels so much better!

But, I don’t know how to rejoice over His resurrection, unless I have felt the pain of His death. I have realized that in life the sweetest victories are the ones which were realized after a pain-filled journey.

And, so it is with Good Friday. I know there will be victory over death, but I can’t skip ahead in the story.

Jesus knew what was coming. He knew what he would experience. And he knew why he would go through it. He did it for me. He did it for you.

Do you know that? Have you felt it down in the very core of your soul? 
Sometimes it makes me squirm a bit. Why would anyone do that for me?

Well, because, I can’t do it for myself!

There is nothing I can do to earn that kind of love and mercy.

That is why it is called GRACE.

His grace is freely given. We don’t have to pay for it. He paid the price for us already.

Do you remember that movie from years ago called “Ransom”? A couple’s young son was kidnapped and the parents went to hell and back trying to find him and pay the “ransom” demanded by the kidnappers.

Well, Jesus is our “ransom”. (1 Timothy 2:6) His life was the payment.

Why is it called “Good Friday”? Because that wasn’t the end of the story….
.
…It was just the beginning!
Raise your hand if there’s a table in your house Raise your hand if there’s a table in your house that’s become the landing zone for ALL THE THINGS! 🙋🏻‍♀️🤪 I’ve never been more thankful for our rarely used dining room table as it’s become command central for school books and laptops and games.

Where are things collecting in your house right now?
“Sighing, tears, frustration, anger.” Every si “Sighing, tears, frustration, anger.” Every single one of these emotions has made their way through our home in recent days and, my guess is, they have in your home too.

I SO needed this reminder today from the new book ‘Adore’ by @sarahagertywrites.

Adoration isn’t just sitting at His feet gazing longingly with stars in my eyes. It’s bringing my fears and my sorrows and gray roots in my hair that desperately needs to be colored and my messy house and all of the things that threaten to send me over the edge right now and laying them down before Him, soaking up His word and His presence so that when I stand back up, I am changed for having spent the time adoring the ONE who is... Healer, comforter, peace-giver, deliverer, redeemer.

What do you need to bring to Him today? I’ll share mine in the comments and I’d love to hear from you too!
I’ve always loved evenings, but since this whole I’ve always loved evenings, but since this whole lockdown thing began, I’ve come to appreciate this time of day even more.

It feels the most...normal. Daytime is strange and foreign right now. My husband has taken over our home office, I’m suddenly taking over the responsibility of managing my kids’ distance learning and let me just say that teaching 7th grade algebra to my daughter is hugely ironic since I struggled with math all the way through school. I’m trying to do my own work but it feels utterly futile with the constant interruptions which take precedence right now. In the daytime, I’m constantly reminded of how upside down life feels.

But, in the evening, I cook dinner like I’ve always done and we gather around the table like we’ve always done and we laugh and tell stories and then clean up and play games or go on a walk or watch a show. And that feels SO gloriously normal.

So now I love evenings even more than I ever did before and I’m so grateful for this little chunk of time where the rhythms we established years ago are helping to sustain us now when so much of life feels outside of our control.

What feels ‘normal’ to you right now? Whatever it is, keep doing it. 🌿
When I was in college I would frequently call home When I was in college I would frequently call home and pour my heart out to my mom, sharing with her all that was happening in my life in that completely unfiltered way that you can talk with the person who potty trained you. These phone calls usually took place at night and my mom would patiently listen as I vented frustrations about professors, roommates, boyfriends and the food in the cafeteria. And, inevitably, they would end with my mom saying, “Everything seems worse when you’re tired. Try not to overthink things or make any major decisions tonight, especially when you are feeling emotional.” Dear friends, may I pass along this advice to you today?

If you don’t absolutely HAVE to make a decision right now, I want to encourage you to wait until life gets back to normal. If you are finding yourself over-analyzing relationships and family dynamics, I want to encourage you to remember that everything seems more dramatic when looked at under a microscope. And, let’s face it, being homebound with our loved ones non-stop makes us all feel like lab rats in an experiment.

If you are tempted to quit a job, start a business, start homeschooling permanently, stop homeschooling permanently, move to a new city, buy a farm, quit pursuing your dream, join a commune or make any other major life decision just…wait. Because, if it is in fact the right decision, it will be made even clearer once our lives return to their ‘regularly scheduled programming’. Instead, in this strange season, let’s all just take a deep, collective breath and let it out slowly, releasing the anxiety that threatens to overtake us. Let’s help each other maintain some perspective and not slip into a posture of over-thinking every little thing in our lives. Let’s remember that the enemy of our souls would love nothing more than to use this time when things feel dark to manipulate us into thinking that aspects of our lives are worse than they actually are.

My prayer for you in these days is that you will have the clarity to know what is true and that you will be filled with peace even while we live in this season of so many unknowns.
Raise your hand if you’re doing more baking thes Raise your hand if you’re doing more baking these days! 🙋🏻‍♀️ I’m trying to avoid gaining the #corona15 but my daughter and I LOVE baking together and it does help to pass the time plus it counts as a science lesson right?

If you’re able to find flour in the stores (for the love people please stop overbuying!) and you’re doing more baking at your house too you need to add this apricot bread to your list of new recipes to try!

Normally I’d point you to my blog for the directions but I’m going to do you a solid and leave the full recipe in the comments.

What have you baked so far during this time of social distancing? I’d love some new ideas!
There are a LOT of people out walking in our neigh There are a LOT of people out walking in our neighborhood right now (but still social distancing!) and she decided that she wanted to bring them some joy and put a smile on their face when they pass by our house. Also, the square with ‘say no to coronavirus’ is priceless. 😂 I just love her so much!
Follow
Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2021 · Divine theme by Restored 316

Copyright © 2021 At The Picket Fence