One Sunday I wore a robe to church.
No, it wasn’t one of those nightmares where you find yourself wearing only your underwear in a room full of clothed people.
And no, it wasn’t the Christmas pageant and I wasn’t playing the part of Mary.
You see, I had heard about how the “wrap” dress was all the rage and how easy they were to just throw on and go! How they glide over your hips and show off your waist and are an absolute essential to your wardrobe. And, well, when you tell me something is essential you can better believe I’m going to listen!
While perusing the racks of clothing at TJ Maxx I struck gold! The PERFECT wrap dress! Charcoal grey and oh so soft. There were the ties at the waist which I just knew would do all the right accentuating. It was simple, yet elegant and also seemed vaguely familiar which I took to mean it was definitely meant to be mine. With a long necklace, black leggings and my black riding boots this definitely fit the essential qualification.
Sunday arrived and as always I was eager to trade my everyday wardrobe of sweats and a pony-tail for something a little bit fancier. I always tell my kids that God really doesn’t care what we wear to church but Mommy wants Sundays to just feel a little bit different from the rest of the week.
I cut the tags off my new dress and marveled at how this had to be the easiest wrap dress ever. Some I’ve tried on had me feeling like I was wearing a straight jacket as I attempted to make sense of which ties went which direction and wound up wrapped in all the wrong ways!
I slid my feet into my black leather riding boots, zipped them up and added a long, gold necklace which just popped against the charcoal gray of the dress.
I was ready.
I walked through the lobby of our church just knowing that this wrap dress was ticking off all the boxes.
Stylish? Yes!
Sassy? Yes!
Accentuating the positives? Yes!
Yes! Yes! Yes! I’m pretty sure we sang the hallelujah chorus that morning during worship.
Or maybe I just sang it to myself. Either way this wrap dress was a home-run!
I was still riding high on my wrap dress success after we got home and the sweats were re-attached to my body. As I went to hang my new dress in the closet something caught my eye.
It was so similar in color to my new wrap dress. It was also similar in texture. It had sort of bell-shaped sleeves and long ties around the waist and was oh so soft and the hem hit right above my knee…and…
It was MY ROBE!!
My soft charcoal gray robe with ties that accentuate my waist and “wrap” around me just perfectly.
My robe I wear every.single.day
My robe that has a hem which hits just above my knee.
No wonder I liked my new wrap dress so much!
No wonder it seemed so familiar!
No wonder no one complimented me on my cute new wrap dress! Oh nooooooooo! It wasn’t a dress!
I WORE A ROBE TO CHURCH!!!
Holding up those two charcoal gray articles of “clothing” next to each other only confirmed it.
After the shock wore off and I vowed to never tell a single soul about this I tucked my new “wrap dress/robe” in the back of the closet where it belonged. Among the other “shamed” clothing items. I began retracing my steps and wondering how this could have happened. I mean, that wrap dress was hanging in the clothing section of the store not the undergarment/pajama/robe section.
Then it dawned on me. It had simply been hung up in the wrong part of the store.
I had perceived that it was a wrap dress because it was hanging among other dresses.
I can assure you that if it had been hanging among the robes I would never have thought to wear it to church!
But it wasn’t hanging among the robes and so I assumed, I perceived, that it was a dress.
I wanted it to be a wrap dress so it WAS a wrap dress.
Aren’t we like that?
So easily drawn to a perceived reality? Which, of course, isn’t reality at all!
In our minds we make something the truth even if it isn’t. Whether it’s about ourselves or about someone else.
We see beautiful homes in magazines and on blogs and our perception is that everything in those people’s lives must be beautiful. My sister shared about her experience with this on Monday when she talked about a different kind of makeover happening in her life.
We scroll through our feed on Facebook and perceive things about each post.
“They sure do have it all together!”
“They eat at the nicest restaurants so they must be doing well!”
“That mom is always doing so many amazing crafts with her kids. I’m sure she never wants to go hide from them in the bathroom.”
“That couple looks so happy together. I’m sure they never argue or struggle.”
Perceptions.
We don’t look at everything through “rose-colored glasses”, do we?
We look at them through “insecurity-colored glasses” or “judgemental-colored glasses” or “prideful-colored glasses“.
What’s the result? Well, these perceptions change how we look at ourselves.
And that can be a dangerous thing if how we look at ourselves isn’t grounded in truth…in reality.
Yes, perceptions can be dangerous.
They might make you second guess yourself, your parenting, your marriage, your friendships. They might make you feel like you need to redecorate your home even though you are struggling financially. They might make you believe that the fact that you don’t have a weekly meal plan means you have failed as a wife and mother. They might make you think that wanting to hide from your children in the bathroom is a bad thing.
And they might even lead to you wearing a robe to church!
Crazier things have happened, right? 😉
P.S. Oh, and that “wrap dress”? Well it is now being used properly…as my robe!
Oh goodness that was so cute you wore the robe to church!! Lol!! I’m sure you look adorable!! Your post was so good and true!! Thanks for sharing!!
Vanessa, what a funny yet beautiful story! Great job!
Sitting here with tears in my eyes. Thank you for being so transparent and for totally nailing this one! One of my favorite sayings is, “You don’t know what goes on behind others’ closed doors.” We all tend to put our best faces on in public and don’t want people to see the hurt and brokenness in our lives, but when we allow people to see our REAL selves, that is when relationships deepen and healing takes place. Thanks to you and Heather for being real with us this week!
You should have shown us pictures of you in the robe with the stockings and boots and jewelry! I am sure it looked pretty on you…even if it was a robe! I have a secret too…sometimes I find cute dresses in the maternity section…and I try them on, and if they fit , I buy them…and then of course I never tell anyone they are maternity! Tee hee
OMGoodness, Vanessa! You’re speaking to my heart today, girl! I’ve been struggling with almost every point you made lately! Thank you for sharing this today! I do not feel so alone now! PLUS……you made me smile thinking of you wearing your robe to church! Love it! Have a great day!!~~Ang
I love this post! You’re in good company though. I remember Barbara Walters telling a story of how she was in Russia, got a call to meet with the Prime Minister (or what his title is) in the evening. The only nice thing she had was a robe (probably from Chanel) so she wore it and that was it. She had a great story to tell. And now you have a wonderful story, with lots of great thoughts about perceptions. So true. Thanks for sharing.
Well it is true that the embarrassing moments make for great stories right Gerry! And I certainly have plenty of them. 🙂 If I had a Chanel robe I would wear it everywhere! LOL!
Cute story and so true.
Great post, Vanessa! Love reading your stories and they always encourage me to accept this great life God has given me. I know you guys are great DIY’ers, but it’s your heart that brings me back 🙂 just thought you should know that.
Awwww…that is the best compliment we could ever receive Marty! Thank you so much!
Vanessa
I laughed out loud at this one, I love your blog, and I feel like you girls may be my cosmic sisters. A robe to church, something I would surely do (and May Have Done already but didn’t discover it like you did)~~~
Your message was loud and clear though, we can’t measure what Appears to be true in others’ lives against what we Know is true in our own lives, it never comes out even.
Keep shopping Ladies~! And keep writing.
And no, it is NOT being a bad mother to want to hide in the bathroom sometimes. It is a Survival Technique~~~
For the survival of the CHILDREN.
Definitely for THEIR survival Sue!! Thank you so much for your sweet words about our blog and we so appreciate you stopping by! 🙂
Vanessa
Love, love, love! Heck, I think it’s time to bring that “dress” back out for summer! If it works, it works! And, yes, crazier things have happened! Great post and so true! I’ve been struggling with the whole meal planning thing. For some reason, I feel like I should have it “that” together. But, it’s summer so I’m not going to worry about it!
Such a lovely, hilarious yet poignant post. Yes, it is all about perceptions!
What a wonderful illustration of how we all “perceive” things and how it makes us feel. Love this blog.
Well, I guess you MUST have been embarrassed wearing the robe to church. You never even told your very own Mother! That’s really funny. Great post. Love you, Mom
This might be the funniest thing I’ve read! So me!!! Unfortunately the whole post is so me…I am guilty of a perceived idea about people & things instead of seeing reality. And it has prompted me to make disaster decisions…thanks for being a real girl living in a real world with other real women.
Thank you for sharing with the world your embarrassing moment. What a good reminder for us all to be aware of how we are perceiving the world!
OOh Vanessa, I was laughing so hard I could hardly read the rest of your post, but to sum it up , ooh you are soo right about perceptions and how powerful they are and we should be careful to fill our minds with those things of God as to see things from that perspective and not misperceptions or envy that can come from from only a one sided – seemingly perfect “facebook” or “blog” life. Let us all remember that all these people are just regular people and they all have their struggles. Be glad for the information and enjoyment that can come from these media sources, but use them in moderation with responsibility and open eyes. Blessings to you today and thank you for the funny reality check!
Excellent post, so true. What a great story, and lesson to go along with it. Perception is everything in life. I am constantly saying, “It’s a matter of perspective.”
Ha, ha, now I feel better about being out somewhere only to be told my shirt is inside out. #Teenagers!!
Cute story! Stuff happens, huh? The wrap-dress reminded me of the one I had way back when I was young and single. It was so good-looking…camel color with hunter green horsey accents. Not horses, but saddles and bits. Then I found the most amazing shoes. OMG, my heart is beating faster just thinking about these shoes: camel and hunter green calf spectator heels!! So classic.
I love this so much – I laughed and I teared up at the same time. Absolutely dead on about how perception changes us. Perception becomes our reality sometimes and it’s a great reminder to step back and evaluate just how that impacts us and our thoughts about ourselves and our friends & neighbors too!
Wish I could hug your neck! xoxo
You are hilarious and poignant and I love the story! And you. And wrap-robes, too.
I laughed so loudly that my 2 grands had to have me read this to them. Their response was a classic, “Sounds like something you would do”. You make me laugh, cry and pray on a regular basis. Thank you so much for sharing your lives with us. God bless you both.
Thanks for a good laugh:) I can so see myself doing the same thing, but my excuse is my old age:)
Blessings,
Linda
Oh I love this!!! I had to go back through to see all your beautiful photos, because I couldn’t read down fast enough!!! That sounds like something I totally would have done!!! Thank you for sharing!!
Very funny…I would continue to wear it as a dress though, it sounds like you rocked it. It reminded me of a time when a very wealthy and eccentric woman I know wore a gold satin bathrobe to a cocktail party. She wore heels and pulled out all her bling because she wanted to. Of course she looked ridiculous but she was radiant. She always marched to her own drummer. Quite a lesson for the rest of the guests. Thank you for the smile
I love how you turned what would have been a funny story into a great lesson! Inspiring! 🙂
Great post! But, I’m dying to see a photo of the wrap dress. . .
MAGNIFICENT! Thank you so much! What wonderful. insights and SO on target! ;}
My husband often recites a quote that goes like this: {“It’s not what I think of me, it’s not what you think of me, it’s what I think you think of me.” The perception we have of ourselves because of what we think others think of us (even when they don’t) is the most dangerous of all.
Oh, and although I loved all the beautiful pictures, I still would’ve loved to see you in your robe-dress! ;D
Haha! I loved it! You are not alone! I wore a pajama top I bought to church. It was hanging among the blouses at the Goodwill. It was later I noticed the label, Cabernet Sleepwear.
What a great (and funny) story, Vanessa! This is such a great example of how social media has jaded us all. We see the great posts from everyone; and perceive that they’ve got it all together. But, as we all know in the blogging world, just outside of the frame of those pretty pictures, it can be a real mess! Lol! (Piles of laundry, mail, etc.) Thanks so much for sharing. This made my day!