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At The Picket Fence with Vanessa Hunt

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August 25, 2017

The Tightly Wound Woman’s Guide to Hospitality

Happy almost weekend friends! We are wrapping up summer break with a wonderful family vacation and that means we’ve called on one of our very gifted friends to help us out this week by sharing some much-needed words of encouragement that we know will resonate with everyone on some level. Please help us welcome Katie Reid to the picket fence! 

I am an idealist. That’s a fancy way of saying I have unrealistic expectations.

I want to serve a mouth-watering meal, with all the food groups, and act like money is not a restrictor to the menu. I dream of serving said meal in a Pinterest-pretty home that is dusted, shiny, and clutter-free. I imagine that my five darlings will not interrupt the conversing adults and will be thoroughly entertained and independent while we visit with friends.

It all looks pretty in my head but something gets lost in execution.

As an outgoing introvert I love the idea of hosting people; I just want to hide out once they show up.

I like to think that I prepare for others calmly, but my family knows better. They get out of the way as Host-zilla emerges, barking orders to pick-up and help out and shouting out an exasperated, “Yes! We have to vacuum right now so the house looks great when they arrive.”

Then the guests come and I am worn-out and we all try to put on a happy face and act like preparing for their arrival was no big deal and aren’t we so glad they are here?!

Of course we are glad they came but the frenzy beforehand leaves me feeling like a hypocrite.

A controlling woman makes for a less-than gracious hostess. That’s me, the Tightly Wound Woman, who wants everything just so. Thankfully I married a Mr. Steady who was born with a hospitable heart.

He’d just assume feed the guests cereal and step over toys on the way to the couch then act irritable to our guests. His culinary repertoire might be lacking but his heart is welcoming as he greets our guests and makes them feel at ease.

Maybe I’ve got it all backwards? I am busy cleaning the outside of the cup while the inside is cracking from all the pressure I put upon it (see Matthew 23:23-28).

I am so concerned with how nice everything looks and tastes that I bypass the heart of the matter.

The guests, our friends, want to be known. They desire conversation more than quality ingredients. They want to be seen and heard more than they want to go pin my recipe or post my fireplace mantel on Instagram. #wowthisgirlknowshowtodecorate

Hospitality…such a loaded word that actually means something quite simple; to receive.

I focus too much on what I am giving out that I forget to receive those in front of me by being present and welcoming them into the real.

We allow others into our crazy and somehow grace finds us there.

We let conversation marinate and don’t rush the silence and we begin to boil up with joy and laughter. Tears also come as we confess the pain we are walking through and dare to whisper the untidy questions that keep us up at night.

And this is where true hospitality is found…somewhere in the cracks, between courses, in stepping over Legos and overlooking the mismatched pillows, and in enjoying the person rather than what they brought—or forgot to bring.

And I breathe a little deeper and smile a little wider and get a little braver since this is what is required of me: just an open heart as I choose to open the door (instead of hiding out while hubby greets the guests); just a little time in the scheme of the day to see what’s beneath the surface of a friend’s heart; just a willing hand to offer what I have, even if it’s just a bowl of cereal and a listening ear.

As we receive those that come our way with grace and authenticity we all feast on a bounty of blessings.

Maybe hospitality has very little to do with food or the condition of our homes and much more to do with the presence of a welcoming heart amidst the mess.

Thank you so much, Katie, for your beautiful, truth-filled words!

You can hear more from Katie on her website and follow her on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter. 

Thank you for meeting us at the fence today and have a great weekend! 

5 Comments Filed Under: Community, Devotionals, Faith, Family, Good Ideas, Guest Posts

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Comments

  1. Katie M. Reid says

    August 25, 2017 at 6:47 AM

    Thank you so much for hosting me today!

    Reply
  2. Susan says

    August 26, 2017 at 9:48 AM

    Thank you Katie for sharing your thoughts and emotions on opening your home to others! I too get a little stressed having to be the hostess for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I do have help with grown children bringing a dish for our large gathering though! Blessings to you for calm spirit and less pressure on yourself!

    Reply
    • Katie M. Reid says

      August 27, 2017 at 8:48 PM

      Thank you, Susan. Hope you are having a great week. “A calm spirit with less pressure on myself”…that sounds wonderful. 😉

      Reply
  3. Mrs Thomas says

    September 5, 2017 at 6:47 AM

    I needed to see this, I am definitely tightly wound and a perfectionist hahaaa! My heart wants to host the parties and the dinners with every bit perfect. My husband is also Mr. Steady as well, I will host a dinner before this year as out and remember its about the heart.
    Bless You!

    Reply
  4. Bonnie says

    September 5, 2017 at 3:23 PM

    Thanks so much Katie. Unfortunately, I was the wound up mom when my 4 kids were growing up and I had a tendency to bark orders too. Now that I’ve gotten older and my kids are all grown, I’m a lot more relaxed. I wish now that I had been more patient with my family when I was hosting.

    Reply

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I’m never.going.back to stressful, time-consumin I’m never.going.back to stressful, time-consuming seasonal decorating. When I think back on the years where I would feel all of the pressure to come up with something fresh and creative I’m seriously embarrassed. Truly. Because it was such a waste. A waste of my time, my energy, my resources. Something clicked with me a few years ago. I was just done. I needed to simplify. I needed to not spend an obscene amount of time looking at fireplace mantels on Pinterest and trying to figure out how to make mine look amazing. I needed to put it all in the proper place in my heart and my mind. Which meant, it had to go waaaaayyyy down on the priority list. So far down it almost wasn’t on it. And I needed to confess to the Lord that I had allowed it to become an idol. 

Yes, I want to have a home that I enjoy. Yes, I love pretty things. But something really amazing happened when I finally released it all. When I decided to not give into the pressure and panic I would feel when I would scroll through my Instagram feed. When I just laid it all down and said…enough. There was this incredible irony in it. Because, the less time I took to decorate my home for each season, the more I found myself loving the results. I think that all along I had just been getting in my own way. It’s really taken a lot of time and prayer for me to finally be at a place where even though I still struggle with insecurities and I still have doubts from time to time, I’m becoming increasingly more confident in who God created me to be. And, just like my home, I’m finding that as I relax into myself, letting go of the comparisons and the pressure, the more I can actually lean into the calling He has placed on my life. 🍂

Leave a comment if you can relate! 

#wearethehomemakers #homemaking
“As the alluring song of September begins to whi “As the alluring song of September begins to whisper in my ear, my passionate spirit yearns for the splendor of its promise.” (Peggy Toney Horton)

Happy September dear friends! While I’m not quite ready to let go of summer and I plan to make the most out of the lingering, warm days, I’ll admit to starting to think about my fall decor this year. And one way to get inspired is to take a look back at previous years. Here’s just a glimpse at some of the ways I’ve welcomed Autumn to my home! 🍂

#september #falldecorating #falldecor #falldecoratingideas #wearethehomemakers
Labor Day weekend might mean that we’re turning Labor Day weekend might mean that we’re turning the corner and getting closer to fall but I’m not quite ready to let summer go. So I’ll just be over here continuing to whip up some super simple summer meals for my family that frankly can be enjoyed in any season. These shrimp rolls I made the other night were definitely a hit and would be great for any of your upcoming holiday weekend gatherings!

Shrimp Rolls 🍤

Ingredients
1-2 lbs of shrimp that is peeled, deveined and tail off (If using frozen make sure it’s thawed completely)
1/3 cup mayonnaise 
1/2 of a lemon
2 Tbsps chopped scallions
1 Tbsp chopped dill
1 Tbsp chopped Italian parsley
1 Tsp of Old Bay seasoning (more if you like!)
pinch of sea salt and pinch of black pepper
Hoagie Rolls
Softened butter

Directions: Gently pat the shrimp with a paper towel to remove any excess moisture. Roughly chop the shrimp and place in a bowl. Add mayonnaise, squeeze half of lemon and stir to combine before adding in the scallions, dill and parsley. Stir to combine and then add the additional seasonings. Spread butter on hoagie rolls and toast in the oven until lightly browned. Pile on the shrimp mixture and enjoy! 

#shrimproll #foodie #weeknightdinner #easydinner #seafoodlover
Today has been a very Monday-ish kind of Monday. W Today has been a very Monday-ish kind of Monday. We woke up to the sound of chainsaws and rushed downstairs to find that our backyard neighbors were having two of the huge trees that line our shared fence removed. These trees have been here longer than the neighborhood and no, they weren't dead or causing damage to roofs, foundations, etc. They were beautiful and gave us wonderful privacy. We had no notice of this happening so this came as quite a shock. Because we were given no notice, we didn't have the chance to cover our outdoor furniture or plants and everything is now coated in a thick layer of sawdust including the fresh bark we recently put in the garden beds. And now our lovely privacy is gone, replaced by a direct view of an above ground pool and RV. I know, I know, it's totally a first world, privileged kind of problem to have. But, now we have to spend thousands of dollars on plants to try and recapture some semblance of privacy. Now we have days worth of clean up to do after we had JUST done a massive freshening up of our backyard. My overarching feeling has just been weariness at the way our world is today.

I think about how often we try to do right by people, to be respectful and courteous. To be thoughtful and considerate. And it’s not reciprocated. How its starting to seem more and more like people have just given up on those seemingly small niceties. And my soul just feels heavy. Because I feel like so much of what used to be common courtesy is not so common anymore. Drivers on the roads are angrier and more reckless than ever before. Red lights being run are an everyday occurrence around town. On our recent family vacation, I heard more people using the F word out in public than ever before even while around children. Where are manners? Where is kindness? I'm finding myself being surprised when someone is thoughtful because it seems like a rarity. And that's just all on a micro, local level. Don't even get me started on the insanity in our world/culture. After I returned from grocery shopping (which can also be soul crushing), I found myself desperate for a reminder of the truth. 

*Part 2 continued in the comments.*
How often is it in our lives that we don’t fully How often is it in our lives that we don’t fully grasp our strengths or our weaknesses until we are put to the test? Little did I know how much I would love my role as a wife, mother and homemaker until I became one. And that in my endeavor to do those roles to the best of my ability, it would bring to the forefront gifts and talents and blessings that I use outside of these walls.

As I water others, I’m watered too because it brings such joy to care for those around me. But it can also make me see more clearly the areas in which I’m lacking and be a very humbling reminder of how much I still need to grow and learn.

Proverbs 11:25 says, “Whoever brings blessing will be enriched and one who waters will himself be watered.”

Have you done any ‘watering’ of others this week? How has it blessed and ‘watered’ you in return?
“Mom, this is one of my favorite meals that you “Mom, this is one of my favorite meals that you make.” Statements like this from my kids fill me with so much joy and such a sense of assurance that my role as the maker of this home is one that makes an impact on them in both big and small ways. It’s not just sheet pan shrimp boil. 

It’s nourishment
It’s time together around the table
It’s laughing as we try to get the butter sauce out of the pan
It’s a memory
It’s an imprint on their lives 

The ordinary act of making a meal becomes EXTRAordinary. And I try to keep that in mind as I do this task day in and day out, year after year. 

***

Ingredients: 
1 pound baby red or yellow potatoes
Green beans or corn (4 ears cut in half) whichever you prefer
1/2 cup unsalted butter, melted
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 tablespoon Old Bay seasoning
1/2 tsp coarse sea salt and pinch of black pepper 
1 pound medium shrimp, peeled and deveined
1 (12.8-ounce) package smoked andouille sausage, thinly sliced
Crusty bread for dipping 

Directions:
Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Lightly oil a baking sheet or coat with nonstick spray. In a large pot of boiling salted water, cook potatoes until just tender, about 10 minutes. Put potatoes, shrimp, sausage and green beans or corn on baking sheet. Pour butter over top. Sprinkle with old bay seasoning and salt and pepper. Mix well to combine. Bake for about 12 minutes or until shrimp is pink. 

#shrimpboil #sheetpandinner #sheetpanmeals #homemaking
Temperatures in the 100’s call for fresh and lig Temperatures in the 100’s call for fresh and light cocktails! My husband is my own built in bartender and he put this together the other night. 

2 jiggers of gin (you could also use vodka) 
*you should do a jig when using a jigger 😉*
Crushed ice 
Grapefruit tonic 
Squirt of lime 
Sprig of mint 

Easy and so refreshing!! ☀️

#cocktails #summercocktails
There is something magical about the late summer e There is something magical about the late summer evenings. Maybe it’s because we have a greater sense of the fact that these long days are slowly shortening and we want to savor them as much as we can. I know I intend to do just that. 

I hope you’re having a wonderful August so far dear friends!
Variations of this recipe are on repeat at our hou Variations of this recipe are on repeat at our house all summer long. We’re big on the ‘build your own’ method of making dinner especially on very hot days. Simplicity for the win! 
#recipes #easydinner #easydinnerideas #homemaking
In music, rhythm is a regular repetition or a grou In music, rhythm is a regular repetition or a grouping of beats. No matter what else a piece of music has in terms of its pitch or tone, the rhythm never changes. Its the stabilizing force and brings order to a composition that would be completely chaotic without it.

The same can be said of rhythms in our lives and in our homes. When everything else feels out of control, rhythms and patterns provide us with stability and something that we can rely upon to give us a sense of security in a very insecure world. But, too often, we associate the rhythmic things we do in our lives as merely tasks to be gotten through rather than gifts which provide much-needed balance.

Whether it’s making the coffee every night before we go to bed or doing my devotional in the morning before the rest of the house wakes up or watering my garden, these simple tasks provide a rhythm to my day that is truly grounding. 

What’s something that you do that you would classify as a rhythm or pattern in your week?
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