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At The Picket Fence with Vanessa Hunt

Where Ideas for your Home Meet Inspiration for your Heart

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April 26, 2016

Tips for a Peace-Filled Home

*Get caught up on the previous installments of the Peace-Filled Home series here*

Up until now, we’ve been primarily talking about matters of the heart. We’ve taken a look at our peace-personalities and discussed how we can get to the place where we are willing to change. So now it’s time for some practical tips, don’t you think?

And right out of the gate, let’s establish something very important. If the heart issues are the foundation that needs to be poured in order to build a peace-filled home then accepting your home as it is right now is the first floor.

beauty of a home quote

In her book ‘Love the Home You Have’, author and blogger Melissa Michaels  says,

“The most important thing i’ve learned from all my dreaming, scheming, and hauling moving boxes is that we can learn to love the home we have whether it is big or small, fancy or ordinary, surrounded by white pickets or brown chain link, faced with brick or faux siding, a first apartment or a starter home in a less-than-ideal neighborhood. Home is right where you are.”

Building a peace-filled home should never be a ‘someday’ goal. No matter where you lay your head at night, you can begin right now to create an environment of peace. And today I’m going to highlight some of the practical ways I approach doing this in my own home.

the peace filled home series from atthepicketfence.com

Now, I don’t know about you, but one of the things I love about my closest friends is that while they have a lot of similar character traits, they each bring something different to our relationship. And I believe that the same is true when it comes to infusing your home with more peace.

So, I want to introduce you to your new #besties. Meet Ms. Routine and Ms. Flexibility. Each of them have their own individual areas of strength and when brought together they create the perfect balance in your life and in your home.

When my children were babies, I took a lot of flack for having them fairly scheduled. They (GASP!) slept in their cribs/beds, had a regular bedtime and a pretty consistent routine beforehand involving a bath, a story, a song and then off to sleepy-town. They were (and are!) rock star sleepers. And I cannot tell you how many times people told me that I was in danger of having my kids be impossible to travel with. But, you know what? The exact OPPOSITE happened. The routine we had established easily translated when we were in new environments and actually helped us to get them to settle down more quickly. They knew what to expect and, for the most part, adapted beautifully.

Did we sometimes put them to bed later? Of course! Did we make exceptions for things and adjust the schedule here and there? Absolutely! But, the foundation of their routine provided them with a sense of predictability and peace even in the midst of having to be more flexible.

I believe that the same is true of our homes. When we have a foundation built on routine and consistency, we are able to better handle the times when our lives get crazy. In fact, if we have established routine, when life calls for flexibility, it doesn’t throw us off nearly as much. Look at it this way, if you have a foundation to a home that is already poorly constructed, when you add the stress of another layer to it you run the risk of the entire thing crumbling. But if a foundation is solidly built, it can handle minor shifting and changing without being at risk of the home falling apart.

Let’s remember that we can only control what we can control. Sports schedules, homework assignments, illness, job loss, these are all things that come into our lives and we (mostly) have very little control over.

So, let’s talk about the things we CAN control, shall we?

Before you leave the house quote

1. Decide which areas of your home are the most important to you.

I come into my house through our garage door which leads into the laundry room, down a hallway and the first rooms I see are my family room, breakfast room and kitchen. When I leave my house, I always try to make sure that these areas are fairly well picked up because I know they are the first ones I’m going to see when I come back home. And usually when I come back home it’s with arm-loads of groceries or with kids so anything I can do to make it feel more calm is extremely helpful. This means that I usually straighten the pillows on my couch, clear the kitchen table and also clear my countertops even if its just that I’ve moved the dirty dishes into the sink where I will take care of them later. All of this can be done in a couple of minutes but it makes such a difference to my state of mind when I get home!

2. Recognize clutter for what it really is.

clutter is quote

On the one hand, the above quote is true. But, on the other hand, what may seem like a postponed decision is an actual decision! You have chosen clutter. And I believe that when our homes are cluttered our hearts feel cluttered. If you discovered that you are a peace-breaker, you will understand this perfectly. Peace requires space, both in our homes and in our hearts. We have to make room for it by clearing out the extra ‘stuff’. Now, don’t get me wrong, there is always going to be some amount of clutter in our homes. There are permission slips to be signed and bills to be paid and dishes to clean. But when we have an inherently organized foundation, the little bits of clutter here and there don’t seem nearly as overwhelming. And this leads me to my next point.

3. Learn the difference between tidy and clean.

I am telling you straight up right now that there are parts of my home that I can’t remember when the last time was that I deep cleaned them. Bad, right? But, here’s the thing. Anyone walking into my home wouldn’t know that. Because my home is tidy. It pretty much always looks ‘clean’ even if it’s been awhile since I really mopped the floor. The definition of the word tidy is “arranged neatly and in order”. Notice it doesn’t say ‘clean’. Do I get in there and really clean my home? Of course. But I don’t have a regular cleaning schedule or some magic formula for a clean home. I spend far more energy keeping things tidy and avoiding the threat of clutter building up. And the beauty of doing this is that I never hesitate having someone into my home at the last minute. I know that, at minimum, the bathroom they would use is always clean (actually CLEAN!) and that they won’t be tripping over things on their way to use it. 😉

4. Give your eyes a break.

As I said earlier, there will always be some element of clutter in our home. That’s just one of the realities of life. But I believe that it is so important to give your eyes a break. Create little spaces around your home that offer you a visual exhale. Pick at least a couple of surfaces that you keep fairly neat and tidy or decorated in a way that pleases you so that they offer you a reprieve when everything around it is messy or cluttered.

Farmhouse style spring decor

5. Decide what to let go of. 

Recently I was watching an episode of House Hunters International (is it just me or are the house hunting shows completely taking over?!) which took place in France. The couple talked about how they loved to walk down to their local market and pick up what they needed for their dinner that day. And that’s when I decided something very important. I’m French. No, it’s not technically my heritage but I don’t care. You see, I used to stress out over meal planning and feel that I was failing because I didn’t do freezer meals and shop for every last ingredient for an entire week all in one trip to the store. I don’t do a lot of crock-pot meals either. But, I’ve made peace with this. I’ve let it go. I’m not saying that I just love going to the store 2-3 times a week, but I’ve embraced the truth that something has to give. And for me, it’s extensive meal planning. I always keep basics on hand (chicken, beef, pork, etc.) and then add in a few things here and there as necessary.

The other thing I’ve let go of is my kids’ rooms. Now, this isn’t to say that I just let them become complete disaster areas. But, I realized long ago that they need the freedom to play and have fun in their spaces without constantly having to pick up. So, while my daughter’s room received a lovely makeover this year, her little vintage vanity table always looks like this.

messy tabletop

And, as a recovering peace-faker, I’m completely ok with it!

6. Decide what to fight for.

As soon as we moved into a home with a center island in the kitchen I realized that it could quite easily become the ultimate dumping ground. But, I fight for it not to be. Because, for one thing, it’s usually one of the first rooms I walk into when I get home (see #1). It also houses our cooktop and it’s essential for me to have the space around it cleared off when I’m preparing meals. Now, let me be clear, my kids often eat meals here, homework is regularly done here and I always love when someone pulls up a stool and visits with me while I cook. But, I do everything I can to keep this surface in my home cleared of stuff. That’s one of the things I’ve decided to fight for and for you it might be something entirely different. But I encourage you to pick a couple of areas around your home that you are going to fight for at the same time you pick the areas you are willing to be more lenient about. You know, it’s that whole routine meets flexibility thing again.

painted white kitchen island with dark cabinets atthepicketfence.com

Finally, my friends, remember that…

7. A peace-filled home is a choice. 

Ultimately, you have to choose to create a more peace-filled home. My husband and I lead a ‘Welcome Reception’ each month at our church where we connect with folks who are new and share with them ways to connect. But, while we can tell them about every single group and event we have at the church, it’s up to them to decide to take the next step. And the same is true of anything in life. Tools don’t build a house by themselves. They have to be put to use by the builder.

If you desire to build a peace-filled home, I hope that I’ve given you some of the tools you will need to get started.

But, you will actually need to get started!

Now, I know this was a long one today but I would love to hear from you and your thoughts about anything I’ve said in the series. And I want to leave you with some questions to consider:

  • What does a peace-filled home mean to you?
  • Do you think others would say that your home is peace-filled?
  • Would you consider yourself a peace-breaker, peace-faker or a peace-maker?
  • What steps can you take to bring peace into your home?

Thank you so much for meeting me at the Fence today,

Vanessa signature

7 Comments Filed Under: Devotionals, Faith, Family, Good Thoughts, Peace-Filled Home

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Comments

  1. Teresa Horner says

    April 26, 2016 at 7:37 AM

    This is a great article and i am going to poss it on to my daughter who just got engaged. It’s a great way to start their new lives and be happy and peaceful with their new marriage.

    Reply
  2. Cassandra E says

    April 26, 2016 at 7:54 AM

    I want to share with my husband the part about spaces that are rest for the eyes. I just told him the other day they are islands of order in our chaos. We live in a tiny 2 room house. Kitchen/living/dining all one. And, we both run businesses from home! Yikes! He’s like a magpie bringing shiny things things and dropping them anywhere. Every surface would be covered and stay covered with the detritus of his days. I used to feel guilty about all my girlie decor, but now I see they are my islands. I let our dining/office table be piled with stuff, but the tray centerpiece is off limits for example. I’m letting go of my guilt of having/wanting my granny chic decor, because every meaningful and beautiful thing is a piece of real estate he can’t use for piles. And he loves me for that. Anyway….I rambled. Sorry. Thanks for the affirmation!

    Reply
  3. Pamela says

    April 26, 2016 at 5:05 PM

    Visitors often say our home and garden are peaceful. Certainly keeping it tidy and the guest bath clean contribute a great deal to my own peace of mind when we have surprise guests (which is very frequently at our home). Another thing I do, or rather don’t do, is I don’t point out any flaws or messes or mention things we hope to change or upgrade someday. Even though I feel stressed about drop ins, messes and things in need of zhusing I don’t show it. Lastly, my husband installed 3 waterfalls near the entrances because I am instantly calm when hearing the sound of running water.

    Reply
  4. kim @hunt and host says

    May 2, 2016 at 4:36 AM

    I agree withall of these points. As much as i don’t want to spend that few extra minutes tidying up before I walk out the door or go to bed…i know i will want to do it even less when i get home or first thing in the morning. It is so worth it!!! Once you get used to a peaceful home it is just second nature. Great tips!

    Reply
  5. I love my wife says

    March 25, 2017 at 10:12 AM

    My wife is stressed all the time by not being able to let go of things. I don’t know if she can’t or won’t. It is affecting her health, I can tell there are Christians that pray here. If you would please pray for her to have her emotions, faith, mind, and love restored. If you have faith the size of a mustard seeds it can move mountains, enought people praying can move the world, please pray for her. No name just think of her healing and God will answer.

    Reply
    • At The Picket Fence says

      March 25, 2017 at 7:11 PM

      Praying for your wife right now! God wants to give us the peace that passes all understanding. All we have to do is be willing to receive it.

      Reply
      • I love my wife says

        March 25, 2017 at 7:39 PM

        Please pray she is willing to receive it. We have beautiful children, and she is a fantastic mother/wife/friend.

        Reply

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“Ah, Lovely October, as you usher in the season “Ah, Lovely October, as you usher in the season that awakens my soul, your awesome beauty compels my spirit to soar like a leaf caught in an autumn breeze and my heart to sing like a heavenly choir.” Peggy Toney Horton.

Happy October dear friends! 🍂
On Monday my heart just felt so heavy. Yes, the po On Monday my heart just felt so heavy. Yes, the pouring rain outside contributed to my feelings. But the primary cause was this overwhelming flood of thoughts about how much in our world and in our culture is going off the rails. I’d planned to make pumpkin bread that day but I was tempted to just curl up in a ball on my bed, pull the covers over my head and pretend that this would actually solve something. I didn’t give into that temptation though. Instead, I got out my favorite pumpkin bread recipe and found that, as I worked and prayed and hummed worship songs, my spirit began to settle. When the world feels very loud, the demands of family and home can actually help to quiet our souls. As each family member walked through the door later in the day, they commented on how wonderful the house smelled. It’s better than any fall candle in my opinion! And I knew that the extra loaf that I get from the recipe would be a welcome treat for my widower neighbor. So, if your heart is feeling a bit unsettled this week too, maybe this recipe will come in handy!

Pumpkin Bread:

Ingredients:
1 (15 ounce) can pumpkin puree
4 eggs
1 cup vegetable oil
2/3 cup water
3 cups white sugar
3 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
2 teaspoons baking soda
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger

Directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Grease and flour three 7×3 inch loaf pans.
In a large bowl, mix together pumpkin puree, eggs, oil, water and sugar until well blended. In a separate bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda, salt, cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves and ginger. Stir the dry ingredients into the pumpkin mixture until just blended. Pour into the prepared pans.
Bake for about 50 minutes in the preheated oven. Loaves are done when toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. 🍂
Happy first day of Autumn!! 🍂 Here’s a super Happy first day of Autumn!! 🍂 Here’s a super simple centerpiece that you can make in five minutes (or less) with just a few pumpkins and extra faux greenery. Let’s spend less time decorating and more time enjoying this season. It’s my favorite!! 🧡

#fallcenterpiece #falldecor #centerpiece #fiveminutedecorating
"Define your day", she told me as I held my newbor "Define your day", she told me as I held my newborn son. My mom and I were talking about how blurred my days and nights had become and how easy it would be to just stay in my pajamas 24/7. She encouraged me to make an attempt to put on 'real' clothes in the morning even if they were just nice sweatpants (bonus if they were clean!) and to throw a little bit of makeup on. That simple advice helped chart a course for my years of motherhood that continues today. And recently I began thinking about how critical it is that we not only seek wisdom from those ahead of us in our stage of life but that we are willing to apply it as well.

So, I asked this question on my personal Facebook page; "What is something you feel you've done well to create a peaceful/meaningful home for yourself and your family?" The catch was that the question was geared towards women in the 40+ age range. The responses came flooding in and were so wonderful and insightful. So, I'm going to be starting a new series where I share this wisdom with you and will include the first name of the woman who offered it. 

Today we start with Alison who said "I learned to set my alarm early to get up and moving before my kids woke up. I showered, got dressed and did my devotions while the house was quiet. It set my heart and perspective for each day.”

Is this something you do in your life too? What wisdom would you offer to a mom of young children?

I truly think our culture would greatly benefit from more women in different seasons of life being willing to invest in each other. 🍂

#wearthehomemakers #homemaking #motherhood #parentingwisdom
If bread pudding is on the dessert menu at a resta If bread pudding is on the dessert menu at a restaurant I’m definitely ordering it! It’s one of my all time favorite treats. So I decided to try my hand at making some here at home with a little fall twist and it was SO delicious!! 🍎

Ingredients:

6 slices of day old bread (french, sourdough or even brioche works great)
2 cups of heavy cream
3 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 tablespoon bourbon (optional)
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
For the apples:
3 peeled and chopped apples of a tart variety
1 cup brown sugar
3 tablespoons flour (or corn starch)

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 350
Cut bread into cubes and place in a greased 8 1/2 x 11 baking dish
Whisk together in a bowl the eggs, cream, vanilla, rum, cinnamon and nutmeg and then pour it over the bread cubes. In a separate bowl, mix together the apples, brown sugar and flour/corn starch. Pour the apple mixture on top of the bread mixture making sure to spread the apples evenly across every part of the bread mixture.
Bake for 45 minutes. 
Enjoy!

#falldesserts #breadpudding #fallrecipes #desserts
When one kiddo wakes up not feeling well after onl When one kiddo wakes up not feeling well after only a week of school, you take the opportunity to make Saturday a truly restful day. Pancakes on the griddle, puttering around the yard admiring the way the limelights have begun their autumn journey from white to green to pink. Sprinkling touches of fall around the house a little bit at a time. Savoring the slowness of it all and taking care of my people in this place that provides us all with a respite from the world even if just for a day.

Hope you’re weekend is off to a great start and that you make it a priority to slow down for a bit and soak up the beauty around you. 🍂

#wearethehomemakers #homemaking #falldecorating
As summer slips into fall, I can’t help but thin As summer slips into fall, I can’t help but think about how grateful I am for the reminders all around me of God’s Sovereignty over everything including the seasons. It can be challenging in our world today to trust that there isn’t a single thing happening that surprises Him.

In a way, decorating my home to reflect the changing season serves as a tangible reminder of this trust. Even something as simple as seeing a pumpkin on my mantel or a basket of mums on the coffee table fill me with peace because they represent the things that remain constant and true.

“The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever.” Isaiah 40:8

#wearthehomemakers #homemaking #club31women
I’m never.going.back to stressful, time-consumin I’m never.going.back to stressful, time-consuming seasonal decorating. When I think back on the years where I would feel all of the pressure to come up with something fresh and creative I’m seriously embarrassed. Truly. Because it was such a waste. A waste of my time, my energy, my resources. Something clicked with me a few years ago. I was just done. I needed to simplify. I needed to not spend an obscene amount of time looking at fireplace mantels on Pinterest and trying to figure out how to make mine look amazing. I needed to put it all in the proper place in my heart and my mind. Which meant, it had to go waaaaayyyy down on the priority list. So far down it almost wasn’t on it. And I needed to confess to the Lord that I had allowed it to become an idol. 

Yes, I want to have a home that I enjoy. Yes, I love pretty things. But something really amazing happened when I finally released it all. When I decided to not give into the pressure and panic I would feel when I would scroll through my Instagram feed. When I just laid it all down and said…enough. There was this incredible irony in it. Because, the less time I took to decorate my home for each season, the more I found myself loving the results. I think that all along I had just been getting in my own way. It’s really taken a lot of time and prayer for me to finally be at a place where even though I still struggle with insecurities and I still have doubts from time to time, I’m becoming increasingly more confident in who God created me to be. And, just like my home, I’m finding that as I relax into myself, letting go of the comparisons and the pressure, the more I can actually lean into the calling He has placed on my life. 🍂

Leave a comment if you can relate! 

#wearethehomemakers #homemaking
“As the alluring song of September begins to whi “As the alluring song of September begins to whisper in my ear, my passionate spirit yearns for the splendor of its promise.” (Peggy Toney Horton)

Happy September dear friends! While I’m not quite ready to let go of summer and I plan to make the most out of the lingering, warm days, I’ll admit to starting to think about my fall decor this year. And one way to get inspired is to take a look back at previous years. Here’s just a glimpse at some of the ways I’ve welcomed Autumn to my home! 🍂

#september #falldecorating #falldecor #falldecoratingideas #wearethehomemakers
Labor Day weekend might mean that we’re turning Labor Day weekend might mean that we’re turning the corner and getting closer to fall but I’m not quite ready to let summer go. So I’ll just be over here continuing to whip up some super simple summer meals for my family that frankly can be enjoyed in any season. These shrimp rolls I made the other night were definitely a hit and would be great for any of your upcoming holiday weekend gatherings!

Shrimp Rolls 🍤

Ingredients
1-2 lbs of shrimp that is peeled, deveined and tail off (If using frozen make sure it’s thawed completely)
1/3 cup mayonnaise 
1/2 of a lemon
2 Tbsps chopped scallions
1 Tbsp chopped dill
1 Tbsp chopped Italian parsley
1 Tsp of Old Bay seasoning (more if you like!)
pinch of sea salt and pinch of black pepper
Hoagie Rolls
Softened butter

Directions: Gently pat the shrimp with a paper towel to remove any excess moisture. Roughly chop the shrimp and place in a bowl. Add mayonnaise, squeeze half of lemon and stir to combine before adding in the scallions, dill and parsley. Stir to combine and then add the additional seasonings. Spread butter on hoagie rolls and toast in the oven until lightly browned. Pile on the shrimp mixture and enjoy! 

#shrimproll #foodie #weeknightdinner #easydinner #seafoodlover
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