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At The Picket Fence with Vanessa Hunt

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March 24, 2016

When You Don’t Feel Easter-y

I was determined this week that I would write words to you which are very spiritual and very uplifting and very Easter-y. I would tell you about what Holy Week means to me and how I’ve spent it in God’s word and doing all kind of resurrection crafts with my children and then they listened to me with unwavering attention as I read the story from scripture.

But, as I sit here staring at a blank page in front of me, I’m struck by the fact that it hasn’t really felt like that holy of a week to me. It’s felt like spring break. My kids are out of school and we’re sleeping in and hanging out with friends and binge watching the Kids Baking Championship which has then led to quite a bit of our own baking sessions. I wish you could smell the blueberry muffins my son and I just made!

blueberry muffins in a spring vignette

But waking up this morning I had this nagging feeling that I was missing something. Wasn’t this week supposed to feel like…well…more? Wasn’t it supposed to be more reverent and more ‘set aside’? Wasn’t I supposed to be feeling sorrowful as I think about Christ’s sacrifice on the cross? Feeling it way down deep in my soul and allowing it to change the way I approach each day this week leading up to the glorious time of celebrating His resurrection?

Can I experience Holy Week when I’m not feeling very holy?

And friends, the more I’ve thought about it, the more I think the answer to that question is ‘yes’. Because here’s the thing. My relationship with Jesus cannot be condensed into one week. It doesn’t suddenly become stronger and more vibrant around Christmas and Easter. And I’ve spent too many years feeling guilty when I’ve found myself sitting in church on Good Friday trying to conjure up emotions that for whatever reason simply would not come. I’ve spent too much time thinking that it must be a reflection of a shallowness in my faith.

Because I know that’s not true.

I know that this past year has been filled with moments between me and my Savior that are too sacred to even try and explain. Ones where I have known beyond a shadow of a doubt that He was giving me His words when I had none of my own. When He was pouring strength into me when I was completely empty. When the words of the Bible became more real to me than ever before. When He revealed the truth of His love for me through gentle whispers which could only have come from Him. I believe that the enemy of my soul wants me to question the fact that I’m not feeling extra emotions this week. I think he wants to use my deep, gut-wrenching need to please and to want people to know just how solid I am in my faith to trick me into believing that it’s a reflection of how much I’m lacking.

Oswald Chambers (of course) describes it best:

“Beware of allowing yourself to think that the shallow aspects of life are not ordained by God; they are ordained by Him equally as much as the profound. We sometimes refuse to be shallow, not out of our deep devotion to God but because we wish to impress other people with the fact that we are not shallow. This is a sure sign of spiritual pride. We must be careful, for this is how contempt for others is produced in our lives. And it causes us to be a walking rebuke to other people because they are more shallow than we are. Beware of posing as a profound person— God became a baby.”

 So often we believe the lie that there is nothing holy about the shallow end. There are entire worship songs dedicated to going into the deep waters with God but I think we might all squirm in our pews if we saw the word ‘shallow’ pop up on the screen in a song on Sunday morning. We have been led to believe that honoring Christ’s birth or death or resurrection has to look a certain way.

We have to have BIG feelings, BIG thoughts, BIG revelations.

Spring mantel decorating with a stone cross atthepicketfence.com

For me, it’s similar to the feeling I have on my birthday. Or should I say the non-feeling. When we’re children, there is so much anticipation and excitement leading up to our special day. The minute we open our eyes we just feel the difference in that day, the special-ness of it. And I don’t know about you, but I do NOT have that same feeling on my birthdays now that I’m an adult. Those days mostly feel like every other day with maybe the slight exception of (hopefully!) not having to make dinner and getting to have my favorite dessert afterwards. But, that’s ok. Because, as an adult, I know that one day out of the year doesn’t define me. I know that this one day out of the year isn’t my only opportunity to feel loved.

 1 Corinthians 13:11 says, “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I acted like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me.”

As we grown in our faith, we should come to a place where although we follow the Lord with childlike faith, we live for Him with maturity.

The reality is that on our faith journey we will experience great moments of depth. Times when we are taken to new levels in our relationship with God. And sometimes those will occur in conjunction with the special days we celebrate as Christians. Sometimes we will feel all of the feelings about Christmas and Easter.

But, I think it’s safe to say, that a great deal of our faith journey will be spent in the shallow. I want my kids to know that a solid foundation in Christ is built day by day, minute by minute. It’s not wrapped up in a holiday. Yes, we will honor this time. Yes, as a family we will reflect on it’s meaning and talk about it with our children. But we will not pressure them to feel certain feelings about it. We will not have expectations of there being some sort of divine revelation during the Easter service.

Instead, I will do what I do every day. I will pray that they will know how very much they are loved by their Heavenly Father and that depth will be added to their love of Him and their understanding of His character and will in their lives. I will pray that He will give me the wisdom and the grace and the strength to be the mother they need me to be. And I will pray that the message of Holy week will be real to them all year long.

Thank you so much for meeting me at the Fence today,

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16 Comments Filed Under: Devotionals, Easter, Faith, Good Thoughts, Spring Tagged With: devotional, Faith

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Comments

  1. Cindy Brown says

    March 24, 2016 at 2:55 AM

    Very well said, Vanessa! Happy Easter!

    Reply
  2. mary says

    March 24, 2016 at 4:09 AM

    Vanessa, you obviously spoke from your heart and your sincerity in your faith is evident. I especially appreciated the part where you ‘spoke’, in regard to birthdays, of the change in perspective that comes with age. I Corinthians 13:11 reflects that so well.
    Faith IS a journey and I thank you for sharing thoughts from yours.
    Easter blessings.

    Reply
  3. Genny says

    March 24, 2016 at 5:02 AM

    I’m so happy to have read your post today. It is exactly how I have been feeling too. Happy Easter!

    Reply
  4. Jean says

    March 24, 2016 at 5:05 AM

    Thankyou – have a lovely Easter.

    Reply
  5. laura {not a trophy wife} says

    March 24, 2016 at 5:27 AM

    Spot on Vanessa! We got hit with a blizzard and 2 snow days, we are heading to CA for spring break and trying to find Jesus in 14″ of unexpected snow, last minute laundry, shoveling. And, the Brussel attacks have me on edge Thank you for an honest post ..the message resonates! Have a Blessed Easter and some years are just more meaningful than others.. but your time with your children an sleeping in and baking is what they will remember…. laura

    Reply
  6. Becca says

    March 24, 2016 at 6:18 AM

    Beautiful post, Vanessa … you always find the perfect words! I know you’ve loved having your kiddos home for Spring Break … sounds like an awesome week. I hope you have a Happy, Happy Easter!

    Reply
  7. Leslie says

    March 24, 2016 at 8:08 AM

    Beautifully said, Vanessa. Happy Easter, friend!!

    Reply
  8. Dona Haggerty says

    March 24, 2016 at 8:18 AM

    Thank you so much for your words today! And for being so transparent! I was feeling exactly what you spoke this morning….but I didn’t realize what that “feeling” was until I read your article. Thank you and Happy Easter!

    Reply
  9. Chris W says

    March 24, 2016 at 8:21 AM

    Simply, thank you!

    Reply
  10. Carol says

    March 24, 2016 at 8:33 AM

    As I sat in church Sunday morning listening to the pastor read the scripture and God spoke to me and said, “let me handle those problems”. what a relief! My week has been more relaxed and I have witnessed to someone I love and haven’t known how to do it. I baked cupcakes and shared with people that aren’t neighbors and tonight I hope we can go to church and hear again the story of the last supper. I think we idealize things and want them to be perfect and just the same as we remember them, but life changes.

    Blessings to you this Holy Season.

    Reply
  11. Karen says

    March 24, 2016 at 8:36 AM

    Thank you for saying that”out loud”! There is meaning in the shallow end of life. Blessings to you and your family.

    Reply
  12. Rebecca Turner says

    March 24, 2016 at 10:21 AM

    I haven’t been feeling very Eastery either. My church typically prepares us for Easter with a somber drama (reinactment) which they aren’t doing this year. (I think I may have already mentioned this in a former post on your blog.) But beyond this, Easter comes so early this year…and in my neck of the woods, Spring is in full bloom. Everything is regenerating and it’s glorious!!! For some strange reason, I feel as though I’m seeing the beauty of Spring for the first time. God’s creation. His glory on display. New life. I feel HAPPY! Why shouldn’t I be? (In spite of the turmoil in the news.) I have been redeemed through Jesus. Through His sacrifice, and His RESURRECTION, and that IS something to celebrate!

    Reply
  13. Nancie says

    March 24, 2016 at 5:48 PM

    Beautiful words, Vanessa! Have a Blessed Easter to you and your family!

    Reply
  14. Jenny Denbow says

    April 1, 2016 at 7:47 PM

    This was said so well. The feelings were in my heart but I did not have the words. Thank you!

    Reply
  15. Jenny says

    April 1, 2016 at 7:53 PM

    You said what has been in my heart for a very long time. But I could not find the words. Thank you.

    Reply
  16. Karen says

    March 26, 2018 at 5:27 PM

    Amen and Amen!

    Reply

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Happy first day of Autumn!! 🍂 Here’s a super Happy first day of Autumn!! 🍂 Here’s a super simple centerpiece that you can make in five minutes (or less) with just a few pumpkins and extra faux greenery. Let’s spend less time decorating and more time enjoying this season. It’s my favorite!! 🧡

#fallcenterpiece #falldecor #centerpiece #fiveminutedecorating
"Define your day", she told me as I held my newbor "Define your day", she told me as I held my newborn son. My mom and I were talking about how blurred my days and nights had become and how easy it would be to just stay in my pajamas 24/7. She encouraged me to make an attempt to put on 'real' clothes in the morning even if they were just nice sweatpants (bonus if they were clean!) and to throw a little bit of makeup on. That simple advice helped chart a course for my years of motherhood that continues today. And recently I began thinking about how critical it is that we not only seek wisdom from those ahead of us in our stage of life but that we are willing to apply it as well.

So, I asked this question on my personal Facebook page; "What is something you feel you've done well to create a peaceful/meaningful home for yourself and your family?" The catch was that the question was geared towards women in the 40+ age range. The responses came flooding in and were so wonderful and insightful. So, I'm going to be starting a new series where I share this wisdom with you and will include the first name of the woman who offered it. 

Today we start with Alison who said "I learned to set my alarm early to get up and moving before my kids woke up. I showered, got dressed and did my devotions while the house was quiet. It set my heart and perspective for each day.”

Is this something you do in your life too? What wisdom would you offer to a mom of young children?

I truly think our culture would greatly benefit from more women in different seasons of life being willing to invest in each other. 🍂

#wearthehomemakers #homemaking #motherhood #parentingwisdom
If bread pudding is on the dessert menu at a resta If bread pudding is on the dessert menu at a restaurant I’m definitely ordering it! It’s one of my all time favorite treats. So I decided to try my hand at making some here at home with a little fall twist and it was SO delicious!! 🍎

Ingredients:

6 slices of day old bread (french, sourdough or even brioche works great)
2 cups of heavy cream
3 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla
1 tablespoon bourbon (optional)
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 teaspoon nutmeg
For the apples:
3 peeled and chopped apples of a tart variety
1 cup brown sugar
3 tablespoons flour (or corn starch)

Instructions:

Preheat oven to 350
Cut bread into cubes and place in a greased 8 1/2 x 11 baking dish
Whisk together in a bowl the eggs, cream, vanilla, rum, cinnamon and nutmeg and then pour it over the bread cubes. In a separate bowl, mix together the apples, brown sugar and flour/corn starch. Pour the apple mixture on top of the bread mixture making sure to spread the apples evenly across every part of the bread mixture.
Bake for 45 minutes. 
Enjoy!

#falldesserts #breadpudding #fallrecipes #desserts
When one kiddo wakes up not feeling well after onl When one kiddo wakes up not feeling well after only a week of school, you take the opportunity to make Saturday a truly restful day. Pancakes on the griddle, puttering around the yard admiring the way the limelights have begun their autumn journey from white to green to pink. Sprinkling touches of fall around the house a little bit at a time. Savoring the slowness of it all and taking care of my people in this place that provides us all with a respite from the world even if just for a day.

Hope you’re weekend is off to a great start and that you make it a priority to slow down for a bit and soak up the beauty around you. 🍂

#wearethehomemakers #homemaking #falldecorating
As summer slips into fall, I can’t help but thin As summer slips into fall, I can’t help but think about how grateful I am for the reminders all around me of God’s Sovereignty over everything including the seasons. It can be challenging in our world today to trust that there isn’t a single thing happening that surprises Him.

In a way, decorating my home to reflect the changing season serves as a tangible reminder of this trust. Even something as simple as seeing a pumpkin on my mantel or a basket of mums on the coffee table fill me with peace because they represent the things that remain constant and true.

“The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God will stand forever.” Isaiah 40:8

#wearthehomemakers #homemaking #club31women
I’m never.going.back to stressful, time-consumin I’m never.going.back to stressful, time-consuming seasonal decorating. When I think back on the years where I would feel all of the pressure to come up with something fresh and creative I’m seriously embarrassed. Truly. Because it was such a waste. A waste of my time, my energy, my resources. Something clicked with me a few years ago. I was just done. I needed to simplify. I needed to not spend an obscene amount of time looking at fireplace mantels on Pinterest and trying to figure out how to make mine look amazing. I needed to put it all in the proper place in my heart and my mind. Which meant, it had to go waaaaayyyy down on the priority list. So far down it almost wasn’t on it. And I needed to confess to the Lord that I had allowed it to become an idol. 

Yes, I want to have a home that I enjoy. Yes, I love pretty things. But something really amazing happened when I finally released it all. When I decided to not give into the pressure and panic I would feel when I would scroll through my Instagram feed. When I just laid it all down and said…enough. There was this incredible irony in it. Because, the less time I took to decorate my home for each season, the more I found myself loving the results. I think that all along I had just been getting in my own way. It’s really taken a lot of time and prayer for me to finally be at a place where even though I still struggle with insecurities and I still have doubts from time to time, I’m becoming increasingly more confident in who God created me to be. And, just like my home, I’m finding that as I relax into myself, letting go of the comparisons and the pressure, the more I can actually lean into the calling He has placed on my life. 🍂

Leave a comment if you can relate! 

#wearethehomemakers #homemaking
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#september #falldecorating #falldecor #falldecoratingideas #wearethehomemakers
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Shrimp Rolls 🍤

Ingredients
1-2 lbs of shrimp that is peeled, deveined and tail off (If using frozen make sure it’s thawed completely)
1/3 cup mayonnaise 
1/2 of a lemon
2 Tbsps chopped scallions
1 Tbsp chopped dill
1 Tbsp chopped Italian parsley
1 Tsp of Old Bay seasoning (more if you like!)
pinch of sea salt and pinch of black pepper
Hoagie Rolls
Softened butter

Directions: Gently pat the shrimp with a paper towel to remove any excess moisture. Roughly chop the shrimp and place in a bowl. Add mayonnaise, squeeze half of lemon and stir to combine before adding in the scallions, dill and parsley. Stir to combine and then add the additional seasonings. Spread butter on hoagie rolls and toast in the oven until lightly browned. Pile on the shrimp mixture and enjoy! 

#shrimproll #foodie #weeknightdinner #easydinner #seafoodlover
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I think about how often we try to do right by people, to be respectful and courteous. To be thoughtful and considerate. And it’s not reciprocated. How its starting to seem more and more like people have just given up on those seemingly small niceties. And my soul just feels heavy. Because I feel like so much of what used to be common courtesy is not so common anymore. Drivers on the roads are angrier and more reckless than ever before. Red lights being run are an everyday occurrence around town. On our recent family vacation, I heard more people using the F word out in public than ever before even while around children. Where are manners? Where is kindness? I'm finding myself being surprised when someone is thoughtful because it seems like a rarity. And that's just all on a micro, local level. Don't even get me started on the insanity in our world/culture. After I returned from grocery shopping (which can also be soul crushing), I found myself desperate for a reminder of the truth. 

*Part 2 continued in the comments.*
How often is it in our lives that we don’t fully How often is it in our lives that we don’t fully grasp our strengths or our weaknesses until we are put to the test? Little did I know how much I would love my role as a wife, mother and homemaker until I became one. And that in my endeavor to do those roles to the best of my ability, it would bring to the forefront gifts and talents and blessings that I use outside of these walls.

As I water others, I’m watered too because it brings such joy to care for those around me. But it can also make me see more clearly the areas in which I’m lacking and be a very humbling reminder of how much I still need to grow and learn.

Proverbs 11:25 says, “Whoever brings blessing will be enriched and one who waters will himself be watered.”

Have you done any ‘watering’ of others this week? How has it blessed and ‘watered’ you in return?
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