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At The Picket Fence with Vanessa Hunt

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September 29, 2017

A Different Beautiful

Friends, we are so thrilled and honored to be welcoming Courtney Westlake to the picket fence today. She has such an amazing and inspiring story to share with you and we know you will be so blessed by her words. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wanted to jump into the conversation happening a few feet away from me, to explain, maybe to defend, but I held back.
I craned my neck a bit, waiting to hear what my children would say to the little girl who had just asked about my daughter’s red, peeling skin.


“She has a skin addition,” my son, Connor, informed her, and I had to hide my smile over his error, as he obviously meant “skin condition.” But then, as I thought about it a little more, skin addition is pretty accurate too – after all, my daughter Brenna has a rare genetic disorder called Harlequin Ichthyosis that means her skin has trouble with things like maintaining her body temperature and keeping germs out, and her body produces skin 10 times too fast.
“Yeah!” Brenna chimed in to the discussion.
“Oh,” said the little girl, still watching Brenna. And then she all but shrugged, like that explanation was good enough for her, and continued playing next to my kids.
I could have offered more information. I could have explained that was how Brenna was born, that she has really dry skin, that she has to wear lotion that makes her a little shiny, that this was how God created her.
But if I had jumped into the conversation, would I have conveyed something else? Would I have made the little girl feel badly for asking, would I have attracted unwanted attention for Brenna, would I have placed a shield in front of my daughter when she didn’t need it?
Would I have offered defense to my daughter instead of assurance in Christ about who she is and how she was created?
One of my greatest motherly desires is to instill autonomy, self-respect, and strength within my children, so that they can soar into the world with responsibility and confidence and a deep sense of who they are as beautiful and unique people created by one very awesome God. And when it comes to Brenna, who faces the world with such physical differences, I find myself struggling with the process of stepping back – very reluctant but well-intentioned – to offer her the chance to fly confidently instead of being sheltered under my wings.
I know my daughter will face all kinds of public reaction to her skin differences, whether I am there or not, as people tend to point, stare and ask questions about her appearance and condition wherever we go. So I’m grappling with giving her what often feels like less protection, but what I hope will be the best kind of gift: the opportunity to advocate for herself. The opportunity to explore what grace looks like offered to others who are ignorant about her condition, and the opportunity to use her own words to explain how God made her.


So even though she is not yet five, I pray that instead of teaching her how she should feel, I can equip her with encouragement and support and most of all, a true identity in Christ, as she steps out into this big world.
As her mother, my story feels very different than hers. My story often feels more protective and defensive. And I am very aware that many experiences are much harder on me than on her because of this. What Brenna will feel as the object of stares and comments will be very different than what I feel as her mother… and I hope that we can both support each other in every new situation and season of life as we strive for the kind of grace-filled advocacy found in living out God’s purpose for our lives.
Last year, Brenna came home sharing about a little boy who had just joined her preschool class. He had, she told us, pointed at her and said “your face is red.”
“What did you say?” we asked her.
“I said, ‘yes’,” she nodded firmly, confidently.
No shame. No embarrassment. No offense. Just an observation, and an affirmation: Yes, that’s how I look.
And with that confident one-word answer, my daughter reaffirmed to me the importance of maintaining assurance of our Father’s life-giving love for us, as we have all been formed to uniquely and perfectly in his image.


Courtney is the author of newly released book A Different Beautiful. She lives in Illinois with her husband Evan and two children, Connor and Brenna. After Brenna was born with a severe skin disorder, Courtney began chronicling family life and experiences raising a child with physical differences and special needs on her blog. You can also follow her on Facebook and Instagram

6 Comments Filed Under: Devotionals, Faith, Good Thoughts Tagged With: devotional, Faith, God

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Comments

  1. Therese says

    September 29, 2017 at 6:00 AM

    Thank you for sharing. Your children are beautiful both inside and out! May God continue to bless, lead, and protect your family.

    Reply
  2. Michele says

    September 29, 2017 at 3:32 PM

    Oh bless her sweet heart. It won’t be easy as she gets older – but what a testimony of faith = wow. This story made me cry. God bless that whole sweet family!

    Reply
  3. Norma Rolader says

    September 29, 2017 at 5:10 PM

    Your daughter is beautiful and that smile on her face just precious

    Reply
  4. Mary-Ann (from Canada!) says

    September 29, 2017 at 5:22 PM

    What a beautiful post today! Little Brenna is so precious in God’s eyes — and in ours! He is going to make her one very special little gal! We pray that God will bless this family in a very special way!

    Reply
  5. Kelly says

    September 30, 2017 at 10:12 AM

    Thank you for sharing these beautiful and brave ladies . My heart is heavy with the thought of the burden mother & daughter must carry . But lightened with the approach, attitude and that one word answer – “yes”.

    Reply
  6. Kelly Tadlock says

    December 2, 2017 at 1:36 PM

    May God bless you all! Brenna is beautiful!

    Reply

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Happy Friday!! I’m working on a blog post to sha Happy Friday!! I’m working on a blog post to share all of the details of our family room shelving makeover but I’m super impatient and just had to give you all a sneak peek!! We are SO happy with how they turned out and it finally looks like I’ve always envisioned. Our quick fix years ago (scroll to see the before photo) never felt quite right but now? Soooo much better!! 🙌🏻 Big shoutout to our amazingly talented friend Matt @redemptive_woodworx for bringing our vision to life and doing such impeccable work.

I hope you all have a great start to the 4th of July weekend and make sure to check my stories later for Friday Funnies!
The month of June is coming to a close and it has The month of June is coming to a close and it has been JAM packed! The highlight by far though was my son's graduation from high school. When I started blogging, he was only 6 years old and some of you have been apart of my community here for that entire time. Now, he's 19 and there is a reason parents are told not to blink because the years truly do go faster than I ever could have imagined. He has become such an incredible young man we are so excited to see how God is going to unfold the next chapter of his life. We celebrated with parties galore (SO many open houses to attend!) and made memories we'll forever cherish. My mama heart was filled to bursting with the joy of it all! Now we're taking some time to just enjoy these warm, summer days making even more memories because, when you’re at this stage of parenting, you know all too well how much you need to grasp every opportunity to spend time together.

I hope your summer is off to a great start too dear friends! 🪴
“And so with the sunshine and the great bursts o “And so with the sunshine and the great bursts of leaves growing on the trees, just as things grow in fast movies, I had that familiar conviction that life was beginning over again with the summer.” F. Scott Fitzgerald.

Happy first day of summer dear friends!! I can’t believe it’s been so long since I posted something new here but life has been crazy. I’ll have some new photos of house projects and life events to share with you soon but, got now, I’m just going to enjoy this gorgeous first day of summer after our ridiculously long, wet spring. ☀️
“It was June, and the world smelled of roses. Th “It was June, and the world smelled of roses. The sunshine was like powdered gold over the grassy hillside.” (Maud Hart Lovelace) 

Welcome June!
“No man is entitled to the blessings of freedom “No man is entitled to the blessings of freedom unless he be vigilant in its preservation.”
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Grateful today and every day for those who were vigilant to the point of death in the preservation of our freedom. May we honor their sacrifice by being vigilant too. #memorialday
“Those who know your name trust in you, for you, “Those who know your name trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.” Psalm 9:10
This is one of my most favorite projects from my b This is one of my most favorite projects from my book Life in Season! 

Because, if heaven has a fragrance, I’m fairly certain it smells like lilacs.

I think that somewhere along the way the verse in the Bible that said, ‘heaven will smell like lilacs’ just got lost in translation. But it HAD to have been in there at some point, right?

When I bury my head in the blossoms (which I absolutely MUST do every single time I walk past them), I immediately feel a stirring in my soul.

It seems like I wait forever for my lilac tree to bloom. Every year I anxiously watch as the buds begin to form on the branches and then when the blossoms finally burst forth I begin that agonizing process of deciding the absolute perfect moment to snip them and bring them inside.

And then, after all of that waiting and watching it’s just over…done. Because, unlike heaven, lilacs don’t last for an eternity. So, making my own lilac room spray seemed like the perfect way to enjoy their fragrance long after the blossoms have faded.

Here’s how to make it! Ingredients: Water, Vodka, Lilac fragrance oil. Directions: Fill spray bottle with 50/50 ratio of water to vodka. Add 12 drops of lilac oil. Give it a shake, spray and if the scent isn’t strong enough, simply add a few more drops of lilac oil.

Once you’ve made this lilac scented room spray you will be very tempted to spray it in every room in your house. And someone may want to use it in the bathroom to cover up other less…ummmm….pleasing aromas.

But, do not, I repeat do NOT, let them.

You’ve captured the fragrance of heaven in a bottle and you wouldn’t want to go and tarnish it now would you? 😉
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I’m a MUCH better version of myself when the sun is shining! 🤪 So I’ll just be over here today plotting and planning how my husband and I can be snowbirds someday when the kids are out of the house.

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Two of our bathrooms are also in need of major makeovers. And we’ve saved up enough money over the years to tackle those projects. But, for the most part, we made the decision to use the bulk of that money in another way. While we knew that it was financially wise to invest in our house, we also knew that the greatest investment we could make was in our children. 

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