I absolutely love being a mom to a young adult and a teen. And I’m determined to not lament over the fact that my seasons of motherhood have gone by so quickly and my kids have grown up WAY too fast.
But I still feel this ache in my heart.
It’s the ‘bitter’ part of bittersweet. That tinge of sadness attached to things that are so right and so good and yet remind you of what was and what is yet to come. And I guess that’s why my heart as a mother just feels kind of fragile right now and why I’ve chosen to gently embrace the season rather than running headlong into it with masses of pumpkins and bursts of color.
In this season of motherhood, I feel like I’m constantly doing a dance.
“Do you need me? Do you not need me?”
“Should I get involved? Should I let you figure this out for yourself?”
It reminds me of the leaves dancing around as they fall from the trees. I’m doing the dance and marveling at these incredible humans we’re raising and yet, in the quietest of moments, I wonder how on earth I got here so quickly.
There’s a rawness to every stage of motherhood, but in the Autumn stage, it just feels like there is so much more to tug at your emotions. Because you know that it will come to a crescendo and then the next season isn’t quite as vibrant. It still holds so much beauty, of course, but it’s just not quite as lush and colorful as all of the other seasons.
And yet, as much as I would love to slow things down a bit, there is always an eagerness, an anticipation for the next season that we just can’t seem to get away from. The rhythms of the seasons of life and the rhythms of the seasons of the year are so intertwined and so unavoidable that they force us to keep moving forward…even if we go kicking and screaming.
So, I won’t try to avoid the rhythms. I might not fling my arms wide open to them, but I won’t turn them away either. This year, my heart and my house might not be loudly shouting out a welcome to the next season, but both will open the door to invite it in with gentle acceptance.
“To every thing there is a season and a time to every purpose under the heaven.” Ecclesiastes 3
Thank you for meeting me here today friends,