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At The Picket Fence with Vanessa Hunt

Where Ideas for your Home Meet Inspiration for your Heart

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July 11, 2016

Pride and Confidence

On a regular old weeknight not too long ago, my family and I discovered a new-to-us music channel. ‘Party Favorites’ is the perfect blend of older and newer songs that make you want to get off of the couch and shake your groove thang.

Somewhere between ‘YMCA’ and ‘Getting Jiggy With It’ my daughter and I realized that we were the only two left in the family room dancing our hearts out. I’m pretty sure my husband and son just gave up because our sweet moves were simply too impressive for them to handle. Or they were ashamed of us. Either way, my girl and I continued to shimmy and shake around the room. I was so proud of the fact that she had mastered ‘the sprinkler’ and she was thrilled when I tried to teach her the running man. Tried being the operative word there.

hydrangeas in wicker vase holder

 

As I boogied around the room, my daughter said to me, “Hey mommy, let’s go dance in front of the mirror so we can see how we look.”

I laughingly replied, “I’m not sure I want to see what I look like when I’m dancing!”

My girl stopped mid-groove and looked at me with the most perplexed expression. “You don’t want to see how you look? I ALWAYS watch myself in the mirror while I’m dancing!” She was absolutely baffled.

I chuckled and then indulged her for a few minutes by pulling out all of the stops and showing off my best moves. There may have even been some MC Hammer style going on folks!

Later that night as I relayed her comment to my husband (and he bemoaned the fact that he had missed seeing my awesome dance skills reflected in the mirror) I couldn’t help but thinking about the absolute honesty with which my daughter told me that she always watches herself dance. She was just so matter-of-fact about it. She had no sense of embarrassment at all. She was completely self-confident. I, on the other hand, would never freely dance in front of a mirror unless it was in my family room and my 8 year old daughter was begging me. And, even then, it’s only going to happen for about a minute. Sure, I’m happy to dance around the room, but watch myself doing it in the mirror? No…nope…uh uh. I’m too self-conscious, too aware, too jiggly in places where I don’t want to be jiggly.

And you better believe that even if I did feel comfortable dancing in front of a mirror I wouldn’t admit it quite so confidently.

wildflowers in white pitcher

I started to wonder if I’ve ever felt that kind of freedom that my daughter feels. And, if I did, when did it stop?

Finding freedom in who we are as women is a lifelong journey isn’t it? And I believe that finding freedom is very much intertwined with being confident in who we are. As a “good” Christian girl, I’ve spent most of my life trying really hard to not be too confident in who I am. Because, to me, confidence was pretty much the same as pride.

Somewhere along the way,  I think that the line between confidence and pride became blurry for me. And in my efforts to never EVER want to give the impression of being too big for my britches or thinking too highly of myself, I decided that confidence was just too close to pride and therefore it must also be avoided.

Here’s the thing though, nowhere in scripture have I ever found warnings against confidence. Oh sure, there are plenty about pride.

“When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.” (Proverbs 11:2)

“The Lord detests all the proud at heart. Be sure of this; they will not go unpunished.” (Proverbs 16:5)

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.” (1 Corinthians 13:4)

But when it comes to confidence, I’ve discovered that the Bible makes clear distinctions between it and pride.

“The fruit of that righteousness will be peace; its effect will be quietness and confidence forever.” (Isaiah 32:17)

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him.” (Jeremiah 17:7)

As I’ve read through the many verses about confidence, a beautiful picture has emerged that looks a little something like this.

When we place confidence in ourselves we will always come up short. We will be plagued with insecurity and doubt and fear or we will begin to think too highly of our own abilities and become filled with pride. But when we place our confidence in the Lord and how He created us, we are able to use the gifts He’s given us with grace and humility which ultimately leads to His glory, not ours. 

Pride and humility are mutually exclusive. They simply can’t share the same space in your heart. But, I believe that confidence and humility can righteously co-exist.

God wants us to have confidence in the gifts and abilities He’s given us! He want us to use them! Because the more confidence we have in using our gifts the brighter we shine for Him.

Let’s take Moses for example. When God spoke to him through the burning bush (Exodus 3), his initial reaction was to argue with God, to basically tell the Lord of the universe that He was making a big mistake in choosing him for such a job. He basically begged God to not use him. Moses had absolutely NO confidence in his God-given abilities and no trust that if his Father was calling him to this role that He would give him all that he needed to see it through. BUT, later on in the story, we see Moses getting just a little bit cocky. A little too comfortable in his own strengths. He decides to do things just a bit differently from how the Lord instructed him. (Numbers 20) and as a result he isn’t allowed to enter the promised land.

You see friends, I think that there is a sweet spot when it comes to confidence. Go too far one way and you find that you are full of yourself and certain that everything you have in life is the result of your awesomeness. Go too far the other way and you find that you are full of so much self-doubt and insecurity that you become paralyzed.

But, when you are in that sweet spot? Well, that’s where the magic happens. That is where you find freedom.

Freedom to use, really use those gifts and talents.

Freedom to be exactly who God created you to be.

Freedom to confidently represent the love of Jesus to those around you.

And, if you want to, freedom to dance in front of the mirror. 😉

I’m so glad you could meet me here at the Fence today,

 Vanessa signature

10 Comments Filed Under: Devotionals, Faith, Good Thoughts Tagged With: devotional, devotions, Faith, God

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Comments

  1. cindy barganier says

    July 12, 2016 at 5:52 AM

    smmoch. I love and miss you.
    c

    Reply
  2. MARY-ANN FROM CANADA! says

    July 12, 2016 at 10:01 AM

    Enjoyed your devotional this morning, Vanessa! So glad I found your blog! God Bless You! Have a blessed day!

    Reply
  3. Pamela says

    July 12, 2016 at 10:25 AM

    Great thoughts. I sincerely believe that humility means being aware of who we are in front of our God. That an awareness of both our weaknesses and our strengths makes up humility. It is seeing ourselves the way He sees us. When we self criticize it’s not humility. Worse we send the message to our daughters that we aren’t good enough and if the woman she sees as the most beautiful, accomplished woman in the world, her mother, isn’t enough then what chance does she have, right? The beauty of your daughter dancing in front of the mirror lies in the fact that she has no shame in how she looks or how God created her. We learn shame through the wrongfu, hurtful words or acts of others, the media and comparison. Keep her in that truth for as long as you are able.

    Reply
  4. Sandie Luck says

    July 12, 2016 at 11:50 AM

    How beautifully thought out and shared, Vanessa. Thank you!
    Joyfully…~Sandie

    Reply
    • At The Picket Fence says

      July 14, 2016 at 7:20 AM

      Thank you Sandie!

      Reply
  5. Sarah Adams says

    July 12, 2016 at 2:17 PM

    Well put. I’ve wrestled with this in the realm of music performance and have had the hankering to address this on my blog for some time. It can be quite the inhibitor to freedom, fear of appearing or being proud. Loved this! <3

    Reply
  6. Lisa Mothersead says

    July 12, 2016 at 9:14 PM

    Reviving Ophelia is a great book for mothers of girls. Read it before your daughter hits puberty. Maybe you can keep her dancing with that same comfortable spirit.

    Reply
  7. Leslie Newman says

    October 27, 2017 at 1:47 PM

    Wow! I just love this perspective! You took a concept that is hard to understand and put it right into a gift package for us in a few sentences. Thank you! Sharing!!!

    Reply
    • At The Picket Fence says

      October 27, 2017 at 4:46 PM

      Thank you so much for your kind words Leslie and for sharing it too! 🙂

      Reply
  8. Katie M. Reid says

    October 27, 2017 at 6:50 PM

    Such a great post! Thank you.

    Reply

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I’m never.going.back to stressful, time-consumin I’m never.going.back to stressful, time-consuming seasonal decorating. When I think back on the years where I would feel all of the pressure to come up with something fresh and creative I’m seriously embarrassed. Truly. Because it was such a waste. A waste of my time, my energy, my resources. Something clicked with me a few years ago. I was just done. I needed to simplify. I needed to not spend an obscene amount of time looking at fireplace mantels on Pinterest and trying to figure out how to make mine look amazing. I needed to put it all in the proper place in my heart and my mind. Which meant, it had to go waaaaayyyy down on the priority list. So far down it almost wasn’t on it. And I needed to confess to the Lord that I had allowed it to become an idol. 

Yes, I want to have a home that I enjoy. Yes, I love pretty things. But something really amazing happened when I finally released it all. When I decided to not give into the pressure and panic I would feel when I would scroll through my Instagram feed. When I just laid it all down and said…enough. There was this incredible irony in it. Because, the less time I took to decorate my home for each season, the more I found myself loving the results. I think that all along I had just been getting in my own way. It’s really taken a lot of time and prayer for me to finally be at a place where even though I still struggle with insecurities and I still have doubts from time to time, I’m becoming increasingly more confident in who God created me to be. And, just like my home, I’m finding that as I relax into myself, letting go of the comparisons and the pressure, the more I can actually lean into the calling He has placed on my life. 🍂

Leave a comment if you can relate! 

#wearethehomemakers #homemaking
“As the alluring song of September begins to whi “As the alluring song of September begins to whisper in my ear, my passionate spirit yearns for the splendor of its promise.” (Peggy Toney Horton)

Happy September dear friends! While I’m not quite ready to let go of summer and I plan to make the most out of the lingering, warm days, I’ll admit to starting to think about my fall decor this year. And one way to get inspired is to take a look back at previous years. Here’s just a glimpse at some of the ways I’ve welcomed Autumn to my home! 🍂

#september #falldecorating #falldecor #falldecoratingideas #wearethehomemakers
Labor Day weekend might mean that we’re turning Labor Day weekend might mean that we’re turning the corner and getting closer to fall but I’m not quite ready to let summer go. So I’ll just be over here continuing to whip up some super simple summer meals for my family that frankly can be enjoyed in any season. These shrimp rolls I made the other night were definitely a hit and would be great for any of your upcoming holiday weekend gatherings!

Shrimp Rolls 🍤

Ingredients
1-2 lbs of shrimp that is peeled, deveined and tail off (If using frozen make sure it’s thawed completely)
1/3 cup mayonnaise 
1/2 of a lemon
2 Tbsps chopped scallions
1 Tbsp chopped dill
1 Tbsp chopped Italian parsley
1 Tsp of Old Bay seasoning (more if you like!)
pinch of sea salt and pinch of black pepper
Hoagie Rolls
Softened butter

Directions: Gently pat the shrimp with a paper towel to remove any excess moisture. Roughly chop the shrimp and place in a bowl. Add mayonnaise, squeeze half of lemon and stir to combine before adding in the scallions, dill and parsley. Stir to combine and then add the additional seasonings. Spread butter on hoagie rolls and toast in the oven until lightly browned. Pile on the shrimp mixture and enjoy! 

#shrimproll #foodie #weeknightdinner #easydinner #seafoodlover
Today has been a very Monday-ish kind of Monday. W Today has been a very Monday-ish kind of Monday. We woke up to the sound of chainsaws and rushed downstairs to find that our backyard neighbors were having two of the huge trees that line our shared fence removed. These trees have been here longer than the neighborhood and no, they weren't dead or causing damage to roofs, foundations, etc. They were beautiful and gave us wonderful privacy. We had no notice of this happening so this came as quite a shock. Because we were given no notice, we didn't have the chance to cover our outdoor furniture or plants and everything is now coated in a thick layer of sawdust including the fresh bark we recently put in the garden beds. And now our lovely privacy is gone, replaced by a direct view of an above ground pool and RV. I know, I know, it's totally a first world, privileged kind of problem to have. But, now we have to spend thousands of dollars on plants to try and recapture some semblance of privacy. Now we have days worth of clean up to do after we had JUST done a massive freshening up of our backyard. My overarching feeling has just been weariness at the way our world is today.

I think about how often we try to do right by people, to be respectful and courteous. To be thoughtful and considerate. And it’s not reciprocated. How its starting to seem more and more like people have just given up on those seemingly small niceties. And my soul just feels heavy. Because I feel like so much of what used to be common courtesy is not so common anymore. Drivers on the roads are angrier and more reckless than ever before. Red lights being run are an everyday occurrence around town. On our recent family vacation, I heard more people using the F word out in public than ever before even while around children. Where are manners? Where is kindness? I'm finding myself being surprised when someone is thoughtful because it seems like a rarity. And that's just all on a micro, local level. Don't even get me started on the insanity in our world/culture. After I returned from grocery shopping (which can also be soul crushing), I found myself desperate for a reminder of the truth. 

*Part 2 continued in the comments.*
How often is it in our lives that we don’t fully How often is it in our lives that we don’t fully grasp our strengths or our weaknesses until we are put to the test? Little did I know how much I would love my role as a wife, mother and homemaker until I became one. And that in my endeavor to do those roles to the best of my ability, it would bring to the forefront gifts and talents and blessings that I use outside of these walls.

As I water others, I’m watered too because it brings such joy to care for those around me. But it can also make me see more clearly the areas in which I’m lacking and be a very humbling reminder of how much I still need to grow and learn.

Proverbs 11:25 says, “Whoever brings blessing will be enriched and one who waters will himself be watered.”

Have you done any ‘watering’ of others this week? How has it blessed and ‘watered’ you in return?
“Mom, this is one of my favorite meals that you “Mom, this is one of my favorite meals that you make.” Statements like this from my kids fill me with so much joy and such a sense of assurance that my role as the maker of this home is one that makes an impact on them in both big and small ways. It’s not just sheet pan shrimp boil. 

It’s nourishment
It’s time together around the table
It’s laughing as we try to get the butter sauce out of the pan
It’s a memory
It’s an imprint on their lives 

The ordinary act of making a meal becomes EXTRAordinary. And I try to keep that in mind as I do this task day in and day out, year after year. 

***

Ingredients: 
1 pound baby red or yellow potatoes
Green beans or corn (4 ears cut in half) whichever you prefer
1/2 cup unsalted butter, melted
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 tablespoon Old Bay seasoning
1/2 tsp coarse sea salt and pinch of black pepper 
1 pound medium shrimp, peeled and deveined
1 (12.8-ounce) package smoked andouille sausage, thinly sliced
Crusty bread for dipping 

Directions:
Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Lightly oil a baking sheet or coat with nonstick spray. In a large pot of boiling salted water, cook potatoes until just tender, about 10 minutes. Put potatoes, shrimp, sausage and green beans or corn on baking sheet. Pour butter over top. Sprinkle with old bay seasoning and salt and pepper. Mix well to combine. Bake for about 12 minutes or until shrimp is pink. 

#shrimpboil #sheetpandinner #sheetpanmeals #homemaking
Temperatures in the 100’s call for fresh and lig Temperatures in the 100’s call for fresh and light cocktails! My husband is my own built in bartender and he put this together the other night. 

2 jiggers of gin (you could also use vodka) 
*you should do a jig when using a jigger 😉*
Crushed ice 
Grapefruit tonic 
Squirt of lime 
Sprig of mint 

Easy and so refreshing!! ☀️

#cocktails #summercocktails
There is something magical about the late summer e There is something magical about the late summer evenings. Maybe it’s because we have a greater sense of the fact that these long days are slowly shortening and we want to savor them as much as we can. I know I intend to do just that. 

I hope you’re having a wonderful August so far dear friends!
Variations of this recipe are on repeat at our hou Variations of this recipe are on repeat at our house all summer long. We’re big on the ‘build your own’ method of making dinner especially on very hot days. Simplicity for the win! 
#recipes #easydinner #easydinnerideas #homemaking
In music, rhythm is a regular repetition or a grou In music, rhythm is a regular repetition or a grouping of beats. No matter what else a piece of music has in terms of its pitch or tone, the rhythm never changes. Its the stabilizing force and brings order to a composition that would be completely chaotic without it.

The same can be said of rhythms in our lives and in our homes. When everything else feels out of control, rhythms and patterns provide us with stability and something that we can rely upon to give us a sense of security in a very insecure world. But, too often, we associate the rhythmic things we do in our lives as merely tasks to be gotten through rather than gifts which provide much-needed balance.

Whether it’s making the coffee every night before we go to bed or doing my devotional in the morning before the rest of the house wakes up or watering my garden, these simple tasks provide a rhythm to my day that is truly grounding. 

What’s something that you do that you would classify as a rhythm or pattern in your week?
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