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At The Picket Fence with Vanessa Hunt

Where Ideas for your Home Meet Inspiration for your Heart

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July 11, 2016

Pride and Confidence

On a regular old weeknight not too long ago, my family and I discovered a new-to-us music channel. ‘Party Favorites’ is the perfect blend of older and newer songs that make you want to get off of the couch and shake your groove thang.

Somewhere between ‘YMCA’ and ‘Getting Jiggy With It’ my daughter and I realized that we were the only two left in the family room dancing our hearts out. I’m pretty sure my husband and son just gave up because our sweet moves were simply too impressive for them to handle. Or they were ashamed of us. Either way, my girl and I continued to shimmy and shake around the room. I was so proud of the fact that she had mastered ‘the sprinkler’ and she was thrilled when I tried to teach her the running man. Tried being the operative word there.

hydrangeas in wicker vase holder

 

As I boogied around the room, my daughter said to me, “Hey mommy, let’s go dance in front of the mirror so we can see how we look.”

I laughingly replied, “I’m not sure I want to see what I look like when I’m dancing!”

My girl stopped mid-groove and looked at me with the most perplexed expression. “You don’t want to see how you look? I ALWAYS watch myself in the mirror while I’m dancing!” She was absolutely baffled.

I chuckled and then indulged her for a few minutes by pulling out all of the stops and showing off my best moves. There may have even been some MC Hammer style going on folks!

Later that night as I relayed her comment to my husband (and he bemoaned the fact that he had missed seeing my awesome dance skills reflected in the mirror) I couldn’t help but thinking about the absolute honesty with which my daughter told me that she always watches herself dance. She was just so matter-of-fact about it. She had no sense of embarrassment at all. She was completely self-confident. I, on the other hand, would never freely dance in front of a mirror unless it was in my family room and my 8 year old daughter was begging me. And, even then, it’s only going to happen for about a minute. Sure, I’m happy to dance around the room, but watch myself doing it in the mirror? No…nope…uh uh. I’m too self-conscious, too aware, too jiggly in places where I don’t want to be jiggly.

And you better believe that even if I did feel comfortable dancing in front of a mirror I wouldn’t admit it quite so confidently.

wildflowers in white pitcher

I started to wonder if I’ve ever felt that kind of freedom that my daughter feels. And, if I did, when did it stop?

Finding freedom in who we are as women is a lifelong journey isn’t it? And I believe that finding freedom is very much intertwined with being confident in who we are. As a “good” Christian girl, I’ve spent most of my life trying really hard to not be too confident in who I am. Because, to me, confidence was pretty much the same as pride.

Somewhere along the way,  I think that the line between confidence and pride became blurry for me. And in my efforts to never EVER want to give the impression of being too big for my britches or thinking too highly of myself, I decided that confidence was just too close to pride and therefore it must also be avoided.

Here’s the thing though, nowhere in scripture have I ever found warnings against confidence. Oh sure, there are plenty about pride.

“When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.” (Proverbs 11:2)

“The Lord detests all the proud at heart. Be sure of this; they will not go unpunished.” (Proverbs 16:5)

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.” (1 Corinthians 13:4)

But when it comes to confidence, I’ve discovered that the Bible makes clear distinctions between it and pride.

“The fruit of that righteousness will be peace; its effect will be quietness and confidence forever.” (Isaiah 32:17)

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in Him.” (Jeremiah 17:7)

As I’ve read through the many verses about confidence, a beautiful picture has emerged that looks a little something like this.

When we place confidence in ourselves we will always come up short. We will be plagued with insecurity and doubt and fear or we will begin to think too highly of our own abilities and become filled with pride. But when we place our confidence in the Lord and how He created us, we are able to use the gifts He’s given us with grace and humility which ultimately leads to His glory, not ours. 

Pride and humility are mutually exclusive. They simply can’t share the same space in your heart. But, I believe that confidence and humility can righteously co-exist.

God wants us to have confidence in the gifts and abilities He’s given us! He want us to use them! Because the more confidence we have in using our gifts the brighter we shine for Him.

Let’s take Moses for example. When God spoke to him through the burning bush (Exodus 3), his initial reaction was to argue with God, to basically tell the Lord of the universe that He was making a big mistake in choosing him for such a job. He basically begged God to not use him. Moses had absolutely NO confidence in his God-given abilities and no trust that if his Father was calling him to this role that He would give him all that he needed to see it through. BUT, later on in the story, we see Moses getting just a little bit cocky. A little too comfortable in his own strengths. He decides to do things just a bit differently from how the Lord instructed him. (Numbers 20) and as a result he isn’t allowed to enter the promised land.

You see friends, I think that there is a sweet spot when it comes to confidence. Go too far one way and you find that you are full of yourself and certain that everything you have in life is the result of your awesomeness. Go too far the other way and you find that you are full of so much self-doubt and insecurity that you become paralyzed.

But, when you are in that sweet spot? Well, that’s where the magic happens. That is where you find freedom.

Freedom to use, really use those gifts and talents.

Freedom to be exactly who God created you to be.

Freedom to confidently represent the love of Jesus to those around you.

And, if you want to, freedom to dance in front of the mirror. 😉

I’m so glad you could meet me here at the Fence today,

 Vanessa signature

10 Comments Filed Under: Devotionals, Faith, Good Thoughts Tagged With: devotional, devotions, Faith, God

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Comments

  1. cindy barganier says

    July 12, 2016 at 5:52 AM

    smmoch. I love and miss you.
    c

    Reply
  2. MARY-ANN FROM CANADA! says

    July 12, 2016 at 10:01 AM

    Enjoyed your devotional this morning, Vanessa! So glad I found your blog! God Bless You! Have a blessed day!

    Reply
  3. Pamela says

    July 12, 2016 at 10:25 AM

    Great thoughts. I sincerely believe that humility means being aware of who we are in front of our God. That an awareness of both our weaknesses and our strengths makes up humility. It is seeing ourselves the way He sees us. When we self criticize it’s not humility. Worse we send the message to our daughters that we aren’t good enough and if the woman she sees as the most beautiful, accomplished woman in the world, her mother, isn’t enough then what chance does she have, right? The beauty of your daughter dancing in front of the mirror lies in the fact that she has no shame in how she looks or how God created her. We learn shame through the wrongfu, hurtful words or acts of others, the media and comparison. Keep her in that truth for as long as you are able.

    Reply
  4. Sandie Luck says

    July 12, 2016 at 11:50 AM

    How beautifully thought out and shared, Vanessa. Thank you!
    Joyfully…~Sandie

    Reply
    • At The Picket Fence says

      July 14, 2016 at 7:20 AM

      Thank you Sandie!

      Reply
  5. Sarah Adams says

    July 12, 2016 at 2:17 PM

    Well put. I’ve wrestled with this in the realm of music performance and have had the hankering to address this on my blog for some time. It can be quite the inhibitor to freedom, fear of appearing or being proud. Loved this! <3

    Reply
  6. Lisa Mothersead says

    July 12, 2016 at 9:14 PM

    Reviving Ophelia is a great book for mothers of girls. Read it before your daughter hits puberty. Maybe you can keep her dancing with that same comfortable spirit.

    Reply
  7. Leslie Newman says

    October 27, 2017 at 1:47 PM

    Wow! I just love this perspective! You took a concept that is hard to understand and put it right into a gift package for us in a few sentences. Thank you! Sharing!!!

    Reply
    • At The Picket Fence says

      October 27, 2017 at 4:46 PM

      Thank you so much for your kind words Leslie and for sharing it too! 🙂

      Reply
  8. Katie M. Reid says

    October 27, 2017 at 6:50 PM

    Such a great post! Thank you.

    Reply

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Yesterday on the way home from school I had the ra Yesterday on the way home from school I had the radio tuned to my daughter's favorite station and a song that was playing had a line in it that really stood out to me. It made reference to a 'season of the sticks' which I think its safe to say must mean winter. I thought that was such an accurate, albeiet kind of depressing, picture of this time of the year.

While we definitely have more than our fair share of evergreen trees here in Oregon, we also have plenty of trees and bushes that are reduced to sticks during the cold months. But, this morning as I looked out my kitchen window, greedily sipping from my mug of coffee, I marveled at the beauty of the winter sunrise. The sky was all pinks and oranges with frost on the rooftops and a little bit of fog. And, I realized that part of why it was so amazing is because I could see it more clearly through the sticks. The bare branches allowed me a view that I wouldn't be able to see if those same branches were covered in leaves. Being stripped down to almost nothing revealed something magnificent.

We have seasons of the sticks in our lives too, don't we? Times when we feel as though we've been stripped bare and left exposed. It's easy to think that this is a place where all is ugly and dark. And yet, just like the winter sunrise was more visible because of the bare branches, the vulnerability we feel in the winter season of our souls allows us to get a glimpse of beauty that we wouldn't see otherwise. In the lush, warm seasons it's so easy to become comfortable. But in the bare, cold seasons we recognize just how much we need to rely on the One who placed the stars in the heavens and is sovereign over all.

If you feel like your soul has been stripped bare and you've been left exposed and vulnerable, may I encourage you today to ask the Lord to help you to see the beauty in this 'season of the sticks'.

“Answer me quickly, O Lord! My spirit fails! Hide not your face from me, lest I be like those who go down to the pit. Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust. Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul." Psalm 143:7
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