He came over and stood next to me as I looked out the back window.
“What are you looking at Mama?” he asked. (He’s almost 11 but he still calls me mama and I LOVE it!)
“I’m watching Daddy get some clippings from the snowball tree for me to bring into the house”, I replied.
“Why does he have the ladder and those long clippers?” he asked as he watched his father maneuvering around the tree.
“So that he can get the blooms that are on the top and out of Mommy’s reach. Isn’t it so romantic that Daddy would do that for me? That is love right there buddy!”
“WHAT? That’s romantic?” he said with such indignation and almost downright disgust. This almost 11 year old boy is definitely in the ‘blech’ phase when it comes to all things lovey-dovey.
“Absolutely!” I declared.
In that moment I realized that right then and there, standing in the kitchen next to my boy I not only was looking out the window at my beloved who through rain and wind was determined to get me those flowers.
I was also looking at a window of opportunity.
Here was my chance to share with my son about love…and romance…and how it’s not the stuff of Disney movies where all of the lovey-dovey stuff is so obvious and predictable and over the top.
I put my arm around him and said, “Here’s the thing sweetie. Daddy knows me better than anyone else on this earth. He knows how much I love that snowball tree. He remembers the time that he trimmed the branches back thinking that it would be helping it that year but instead it didn’t bloom at all and I cried and blamed him and might have called him a ‘snowball killer’.
He also remembers how the next year when it bloomed even bigger and better than ever before he didn’t say, ‘I told you so!’ but instead graciously accepted my sheepish apology for freaking out the previous year. And he and I still laugh about that. Daddy knows that every day I look out the window and see all of the enormous blossoms at the tippy top of the tree and I ache thinking that they are going to go to waste and how badly I want to bring them into the house or give them away to friends by the armful.
And, because Daddy knows me so well and loves me so much, he is out there in the rain hauling that ladder around and asking me to point out exactly which branches I want him to cut. He does that because when you love someone…really, really love them…you know them through and through. Heart and soul.”
“And that, precious son of mine, is romantic.”
He shrugged his shoulders and turned to walk away. He may or may not have mumbled, “whatever you say mom” but I was too distracted as I gazed adoringly at my husband to notice.
I turned to finish cleaning up the kitchen but a few minutes later walked back over to the window to check on the snowball clipping progress and was greeted by an incredible sight.
My boy…the same boy to whom the word ‘romance’ seemed almost repulsive, was there in the backyard.
Sitting on top of the ladder.
Pointing out the snowball blossoms he thought his dad should cut.
As he turned around and saw that I was watching him, he gave me a grin.
I sat there staring at him and marveling over the fact that the baby boy I cradled in my arms almost 11 years ago was the same big kid with the long legs dangling from his perch on the top of the ladder.
I thought about how quickly the time was passing and imagined a day in the future when his wife will be in awe at how thoughtful and loving and caring and romantic he is.
And how I will say to her, “You’re welcome!” 😉
What a great hands-on lesson of love for your son to remember…so sweet.
Now THIS? This I love!!
Happy Early Mother’s Day, now you have me tearing up! Ahhh, the romance and kid love too!
That is such a sweet story! I have 3 sons…all grown and I try to instill in them that it’s the little things…yes, son believe me…it’s the little things. My husband was the king of doing little things and over the years they saw how happy those things made me and I see them thinking the same way. We have to steer them while they are little and I think you are doing a great job!
Precious post and precious time with your son.
What a lovely post, Vanessa! You had me tearing up. I hope that I have shown my son what love and romance is. He is 23 now {24 in June and will call on his cell and say “Hi Mama!} and has a girlfriend. I know that he has bought her flowers and the last time he was here was looking for something with Audrey Hepburn on it to bring back to school for her.
Precious story! As my oldest son is getting ready to be married in 3 weeks, I truly know how fast time flies!
Such a sweet story…even sweeter moment in your life. Our son’s dad always plants rose bushes for me (they are nearly impossible to grow in our region of the country). On our first anniversary i picked the one and only rose for our dinner table. I was surprised when he come home through the back door until he saw the table and said, “that’s what happened to the rose”! A tradition was born in that moment. As our son grew he sometimes got to the roses first for a new love interest!! Lesson taught-lesson learned.
This story is beautiful on so many levels! Thanks for sharing. <3
You are so right – that IS true romance! Keep using those teachable moments – they are listening and learning!
Oh, treasure that episode in your heart! And do share it with his wife one day.
OK. Someone hand me a tissue! I couldn’t have said this more clearly myself! I have 2 grown sons and a 13 year old grandson. They have learned this and I’m so thankful for the father they had to pattern their life after! My husband of almost 53 years has truly given himself away to take care of me and I can’t even put into words how much we love each other. Thank you for sweet lesson to your son!
What a great story to share.
Awesome Love Lesson! So Simple, So Sweet! I read this this morning drinking my coffee, planning my day. I too remember the tender times, my little man, is not so little anymore. He is 18, a Senior getting ready to Graduate, 6’5, and I am very proud of him. He asked me everyday when he comes home from school, “how my day was going?” Thank you for bring happy tears to my eyes this morning. It reminds us to appreciate the small things in life that come back to be the big ones:)
What a sweet, sweet story. Through the eyes of babes . . .
You know I love your stories… this one is so sweet and had me tearing up as always. What a wonderful lesson for your little man. And what a great Hubby too – we picked good Robs! Happy Mother’s Day to you and Heather!! xo
I love this Vanessa, such a great lesson for him that romance goes so far beyond all the disney stuff 🙂 Your tree is amazing, I want one!! 🙂
XO
Kristin
Oh I just love this! We do not have a son but I know I will appreciate our future son in laws to our 3 girls learning many lessons from their Mama so they can be awesome loving husbands to our girls! And your snowball tree is glorious!!!
Oh my gosh! I almost cried reading this!! My little guy will be four months old on Thursday (and that four months creeped up on my fast!). This is such a precious story. I love it!
You are doing an amazing job, Sweet Momma 🙂
Love, love, love this story! That is just beautiful!
Oh, Vanessa. I love this!! Well done, Mama!
Isn’t it amazing to think that your son’s future mother-in-law could be reading your blog right now? No doubt there are girls’ moms out there thinking, “I want my daughter to marry a son with a mom like that!”
Bless you, sweet friend!
So sweet. We got goods ones didn’t we? Our hubbies, and our great boys.
Mine would so do that, and you are so right. True love and the epitome of romance.
Luv ya V!
Oh my goodness. Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh….
I love your writing, Vanessa. OH you hit me right in the heart every time.
What a wonderful lesson! Treasure these times! He will be grown up and bringing a wife home quicker than you can imagine! Thank you for this beautiful story!
Love the teachable moment and great analogy!!
Such a sweet story. Years ago I read “the most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” It worked for us and we’re celebrating our 50th anniversary this month.
Oh, what a truly romantic and touching story….yes, his wife will admire how you raised “her husband” to be the best husband and father he could be…and that is by seeing his parents as great examples…One of our favorite poems ever is, “Children Learn What They Live”….and it is so true…..Your snowball viburnum is incredible…I so want to plant that one day!….it is almost “angelic”…
This truly was the sweetest moment! Your boy will remember it:) Love your snowball tree, it is gorgeous!
Beautiful; brought tears to my eyes. Treasure every moment. xx
Oh my gosh – LOVE this story! Thanks for sharing it with us. *sniff
What a wonderful story. I wish my husband of 43 years felt that way for me. We are about to divorse and it is sad, but I want more. My husband is too busy doing things for others, that he has long since forgotten to do the same for me. You are indeed fortunate!
Awesome story Vanessa! So glad you took the time for a teachable moment with your son.
You have me tearing up here and I am not even a mum. What a beautiful story and a lovely boy you have, he will grow up to be a wonderful man with great values.
That is a beautiful story and a great way to see how God loves us, his bride. Thank you for sharing your life.
Rhonda
That brought tears to my eyes. My son passed away very young from brain cancer. However, I will always remember how he would walk away with lessons taught through the love his dad and I showed. I loved this post. Children grow and learn. What better way to teach then through the love of their parents. Happy Mothers Day
sweet, sweet story, Vanessa! Where can I find snowball trees? Is that their actual name? Wonder if they would grow in GA? Need to look for one – would love to have those blooms to cut for indoors 🙂
How appropriate I find this blog Mother’s Day morning. We are on vacation, away from our two grown daughters, one of whom has our first granddaughter, a 7 1/2 month old little SweetPea. Love is a wonderful thing…and it gets better as your children grow, watching them blossom into their own special being.
Ok, you just killed me. It’s not even 10am yet and I’m balling! What a beautiful post Vanessa! And that tree!!! Oh-my-gorgeousness! I’d write more, but my nose is running…. need a kleenex. Love you my friend!
~KIM
LOL! So sorry for causing a runny nose sweet friend!