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At The Picket Fence with Vanessa Hunt

Where Ideas for your Home Meet Inspiration for your Heart

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April 6, 2016

The Peace-Filled Home Part 3

(If you are just now joining us for The Peace-Filled Home series be sure to read part one and part two)

I believe that a peace-filled home begins with a peace-filled heart. This is the foundation, the solid rock, which you can rely on to help you experience peace even in the midst of the craziness. Having a home built on peace is what sustains us in the busy schedules, the unpredictable events and the roller coaster that is life.

A peace-filled home is a gift that you give to all of those who live there, including yourself. It’s providing a safe haven, a respite from all that we encounter the minute we step outside our door. Because we all know that what we often encounter out there in the world is anything but peaceful.

beauty of a home quote

 

We’ve all heard the saying, “If mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” But, it wasn’t until I became a wife and a mother that I fully understood just how accurate it is.

Ladies, I truly believe that a peace-filled home starts with us.

And today, we’re going to talk about how your peace ‘personality’ impacts your ability to build that foundation of peace in your home.

But first, let’s establish three things right up front.

1. Peace is not synonymous with perfection.

2. Peace is not the absence of stress or chaos.

3. Peace requires intentionality.

Years ago I attended a ‘Peacemakers’ conference at our church where we learned about how to have peace in our relationships. It was incredibly humbling and eye-opening. And while the focus of the conference is based around our interactions with others, I believe that the same principles can be applied when it comes to creating a peace-filled home.

According to the ‘Peacemaker’ principles, we all tend to fall into three different categories: The Peace-Maker, The Peace-Faker and the Peace-Breaker. I’ve taken this same concept and translated it into how we tend to approach our homes.

Keeping in mind that these aren’t meant to be generalizations and are in no way comprehensive, let’s take a look at the three different categories that we tend to fall into when it comes to our lives and our homes.

The Peace-breaker 

The peace-breaker tends to be someone who constantly feels overwhelmed. They will often start projects with a determination to change things in their home or in their lives but find it hard to carry through. The peace-breaker also tends to not want to host people because they are aware of the chaos in their home and don’t want others to see it.

peace-breaker slide

The Peace-faker

The peace-faker tends to be a perfectionist and will often re-do chores done by family members because they believe that the chores weren’t done properly or to their standard. The peace-faker doesn’t respond well to change. They are very aware of how they are perceived by others and while they are comfortable hosting others in their home, it isn’t always done with warmth and will often involved a great deal of stress for themselves and their family prior to the event.

peace faker

The Peace-Maker

The peace-maker is someone who is well-balanced. They are intentional about creating a home that feels like a refuge for their family but they won’t sacrifice comfort in the process. A peace-maker can adapt to changes in a schedule but also provides stability even in the midst of the changes. They have established routines but are willing to throw caution to the wind if need be. The peace-maker understands is able to open their home to guests and make everyone feel comfortable in the process, including their family who reside in the home with them. They understand that hospitality is not about perfection but they also value creating an environment that is warm and welcoming.

peace maker

Does one of these descriptions resonate with you? Do you want to know who I was for many years?

I freely admit that I am a recovering peace-faker. I remember one particular time, years ago, when we were going to be hosting a holiday meal in our home. I had spent the better part of the day running around like crazy trying to get the house ready and the food prepared and pillows plumped and the table settings just perfect. I had barked at anyone who dared sit down on the bed that I had just straightened and I was generally making everyone around me miserable, including myself. But, the minute the doorbell rang, I was little miss merry sunshine, greeting our guests with smiles and an air of ease that greatly belied the stressful atmosphere of our home only minutes before.

It took me a long time to come to the realization that what I was doing was hurting my family. I was a crazy hosting lunatic and I was taking everyone down with me. The guests got the best of me and my family got the rest of me…actually they got the WORST of me. And I wasn’t just a peace-faker when it came to having people in our home. I’ve always been very aware of every flaw in myself and in my home. I’m a people pleaser and when areas of my life feel like they are out of control, I tend to go overboard in the areas that I feel like I can control….namely my home and the people living in it. In all of my striving as a homemaker, when it came to the actual making of a home, I realized that what I was doing wasn’t working.

So, how did I go from a peace-faker to a peace-maker? You’ll find out in the next installment! But, in the meantime, since I told you my ‘peace’ personality, would you be willing to tell me yours? Let’s talk a bit!

I’m so glad you met me here at the Fence today,

Vanessa signature

10 Comments Filed Under: Faith, Family, Good Thoughts Tagged With: devotional, Faith

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Comments

  1. Donna says

    April 6, 2016 at 5:01 AM

    I love your series on The Peace-filled Home. Unfortunately I see myself as a Peace Breaker and a Peace Faker. I feel like everything has to be “perfect” before inviting someone over, and it is rarely perfect. Thank you, this gives me new food for thought.

    Reply
  2. Pat says

    April 6, 2016 at 6:45 AM

    I think I have moved from a peace -breaker to a peace -faker, oh dear. Now I want to become a peace maker with a peace filled home.
    Thanks Vanessa for another inspirational piece.
    Pat

    Reply
  3. Shirley@Housepitality Designs says

    April 6, 2016 at 6:54 AM

    I know I am going to love this series….I remember as a child/teenager when my parents were hosting company, mainly for BBQ’s….I would run around tidying things up in the house while my mother was cooking….I usually went a bit overboard on the tidying up….and I remember my mom would say, “they are not coming to see our house, they are coming to see us and enjoy the company” …. my mom was the perfect hostess in the fact that she never fussed about anything…she was organized and a true multi-tasker…she had to be with 5 kids running around!

    Reply
  4. Mia White says

    April 6, 2016 at 7:18 AM

    Oh Vanessa, I can SO relate to what you’ve shared here– it’s like you’re in my head! We are so similar. I used to struggle almost identically to the peace-faking you described. And if I’m being honest, it’s still my M.O., my natural bent; I have to work VERY hard continually to overcome those tendencies! Glad to know I’m not alone, thanks for sharing <3

    Reply
  5. SSummers says

    April 6, 2016 at 9:56 AM

    It’s strange but I see myself in all 3. However I’m terrified of hosting people at our home so I’m more likely a peace-breaker.

    Reply
  6. Lisa Mothersead says

    April 6, 2016 at 11:24 AM

    Ditto to your story. Trying to be more flexible, kind, and accepting of things I have little or no control over. Definite doormat/later resentful personality. But, responsible, loving, and forward looking most of the time. I have a very good husband of 35 years that has helped me grow in these areas. Good marriages make you a better person, I believe.

    Reply
  7. Dianne says

    April 8, 2016 at 6:00 AM

    I am definitely a peace-faker! The description was SO accurate! I was actually a little shocked and taken aback. But thank you for this post!
    I look forward to reading how you changed! I know I have slowly been letting go: that everything doesn’t HAVE to be perfect before guests arrive, but need more help!

    Reply
  8. Rebecca Turner says

    April 8, 2016 at 4:27 PM

    Waiting for the next installment.

    Reply
  9. Cj Horn says

    April 25, 2016 at 9:11 PM

    Thanks much……I am looking forward to more of the series. GOD BLESS YOU!!!!

    Reply
    • At The Picket Fence says

      April 26, 2016 at 7:17 AM

      Hi Cj! The last installment of the series is on the blog today. 🙂

      Reply

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This is such a busy time of year and I’m always This is such a busy time of year and I’m always on the lookout for easy recipes that use minimal pots and pans therefore requiring minimal cleanup. 🙌🏻

This one sheet roasted veggies, sausage and gnocchi definitely fit the bill! And I don’t know how I’ll go back to boiled gnocchi after tasting it roasted. 😋

Here’s how easy it is to make: 

Preheat oven to 425

Use any combo of veggies you like. I used sweet potatoes, brussel sprouts and red onion. 

Dice into small pieces and spread on a sheet pan. 

Slice up the sausage and add to vegetables. Then add the uncooked gnocchi. Drizzle with a tablespoon of olive oil and add a pinch of sea salt and black pepper. You can also add any herbs you like! 

Roast in over for 25 minutes stirring once halfway through. 

While it’s in the oven, melt a stick of butter in a saucepan and add in two teaspoons of garlic. 

When you remove the pan from the oven, drizzle the butter/garlic mixture over the top and stir well to coat everything. Top with Parmesan cheese! 

Easy peasy and SO yummy! ✨

#sheetpandinner #sheetpanrecipes
The first weekend in December seems like a good ti The first weekend in December seems like a good time for my annual gentle reminder about this month. I don’t know about you but, for me, December is a month of mixed emotions, ranging from joy-filled moments to ones that have me wanting to pull my hair out.

There are so many expectations and we put so much pressure on ourselves to create magical memories. And for years I have felt the added weight of wanting to make sure my family had opportunities throughout the month to grow in their relationship with Christ.

We celebrate advent and read all of the appropriate Baby Jesus books and encourage a spirit of generosity and heavily emphasize the real reason for the season.

But sweet friends, I want to remind you today that one month out of the year does not a strong relationship with the Lord make. December doesn’t define our faith in Christ.

For our families or for us.

There are 11 other months in the year. 11 other months to live out our faith in front of our children. 11 other months to pray with them. 11 other months to help them wrestle through their questions and add depth to their walk with the Lord. 11 other months to encourage them to have generous spirits.

Let’s stop putting so much pressure on this one month out of the year. Let’s be surprised at the ways we might be able to celebrate the baby in the manger without a dozen countdown calendars. Let’s give our kids some grace when they are focused more on gifts because…well…they’re kids after all.

And while we’re at it, let’s give ourselves some grace too.

Grace when we think we should feel all the warm fuzzy feelings about Christmas but we really just want to take a nap. Or have a good cry. 

Grace that reminds us that this month will soon be over and we will have a brand new year ahead of us.

A new year filled with big moments and little moments and everything in between.

A new year to draw even closer to our Savior.

My hope for you is that, as you head into this season, you will be given fresh perspective and that you will give yourself (and your family) permission to just ‘be’. ✨
✨ The first Sunday of Advent is upon us and this ✨ The first Sunday of Advent is upon us and this year I created a super simple centerpiece for my dining room that incorporates the candles we will use each of the four weeks leading up to Christmas. While we will only light one candle each week, I used more than four so that the centerpiece would look a bit more filled in. In keeping with my goal to embrace a softer approach to my decorating, this arrangement works perfectly and helps to keep our focus on the beauty and the meaning  of the Advent season. For more ideas like this, check out my previous Advent post! ✨

#advent #adventcandles #simplechristmas #wearethehomemakers
In this season of motherhood, my soul is feeling a In this season of motherhood, my soul is feeling a bit more tender. When Christmas rolls around and I no longer have wish lists that include Lego sets or dollhouses, I find that I want my home to reflect this craving for all things gentle.

So our hot cocoa station this year is much more simple and done in a neutral color palette that just subtly blends in with the rest of the decor. It still feels festive and is definitely still “user friendly” but it’s just a bit less…well…less.

And, that’s ok. It’s not that this area won’t ever again have bright colors (maybe even pops of red!) but, right now I’m happy to have things this way.

With all that is going on in the world right outside our door, my desire is for our home to truly feel like a respite. I want it to be where we come and let our guard down, our heart rates slow and to be flooded with a sense of peace in knowing that here is where we can just simply be. I want it to be a place of rest. Rest from the constant onslaught of news and information. Rest from the seemingly small struggles of school and jobs that can so often feel like big struggles.

And, most importantly, we rest in the comfort of knowing the One who is Sovereign over all and is the reason this month is so very special and sacred.

Many blessings to you dear friends as we kick off this wonderful season! ✨
Next week is first Sunday of Advent. And contrary Next week is first Sunday of Advent. And contrary to popular belief, the celebration of Advent is VERY different from just simply doing a ‘countdown to Christmas’. It’s not about having little drawers filled with candy or doors to open with prizes inside. Those things are so much fun and definitely help to build anticipation as you head closer and closer to the big day.

But Advent, from the latin word ‘adventus’ meaning ‘arrival’ or ‘appearance’ keeps the focus completely on celebrating the arrival of the King who came in the form of an infant.

This is one of our favorite family traditions and over the years I’ve figured out how to incorporate the Advent candles into my decor without using the traditional wreath. I hope this gives you some ideas and inspiration as we head into this sacred season. 🌲

#advent #adventdecoration #wearethehomemakers
Why do I start decorating before Thanksgiving? Bec Why do I start decorating before Thanksgiving? Because it’s the Saturday after and my house is almost completely ready to start the season! So I’m sitting with my coffee and just soaking it all up knowing that now I can focus on shopping, hosting and preparing our hearts for the start of Advent. The only thing left to do is get our fresh tree for the front room and then the decorating is done. 

Starting early is a gift I give to myself and I’m always grateful for it! 🌲

#simplechristmas #traditionalchristmas
“I would maintain that thanks are the highest fo “I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought, and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.” ~ G.K. Chesterton

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours dear friends! 🍂
Christmas has arrived in the family room where I k Christmas has arrived in the family room where I keep things simple but festive! We’ll get a fresh tree after Thanksgiving which will go in our front room bay window but this slim faux tree with its colorful ornaments tides us over for now. Which room in your home gets the Christmas treatment first? Or do you just start doing a little at a time in each room? 🎄

*pillow covers are from @jshhomeessentials
I share this recipe every year because it’s JUST I share this recipe every year because it’s JUST.THAT.GOOD! 

And I have a confession ...I’d rather have cranberry sauce smothering the turkey on my plate than gravy any day!! And this, this right here? Well it’s the best (and easiest!) cranberry sauce ever!! I eat on crackers and sandwiches and sometimes just by the spoonful. It’s so yummy! And I’m just so very thankful for all of you that I’m going to leave the recipe right here instead of making you go to the blog to get it. I promise you won’t regret having this on your Thanksgiving menu but be warned...you may find yourself up in the middle of the night sneaking some helpings of this deliciousness. Or maybe that’s just me!

Ingredients:
2 pounds fresh or frozen cranberries
2 oranges
2 cups granulated sugar
1 cup white wine.

Instructions:
Wash and pick over berries, removing any that are soft. Peel and dice oranges removing any seeds. Combine all ingredients in a large pot. Bring to a full boil. Reduce heat and continue cooking until cranberries pop open and mixture is thickening.
For best flavor, prepare and let stand for several days before using.

Gobble, gobble!! 🦃
How do I want people to feel when they walk throug How do I want people to feel when they walk through my front door? That’s always at the top of my mind when I’m decorating my entry for each season, particularly at Christmastime. 

✨I want them to feel like my home is greeting them with a smile.

✨I want them to feel like this is a place where care has been given to details (but not to the point of being too stuffy or too busy or too overwhelming). 

✨I want them to feel like there is peace here.

✨I want them to feel like they are welcome…because they are. 

My home is a reflection of my heart and my heart is a reflection of the ONE for whom I live and try to honor and praise all of my days, but especially at Christmas.

How do you want people to feel when they come into your home? 

#christmasentry #simplechristmas #simplicity #wearethehomemakers
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