• Home
  • Privacy Policy
  • Contact
    • Collaborate
  • Blog
  • Parties
    • Children’s Parties Ideas
    • Holiday Parties
    • Adult Party Ideas
  • Holiday Ideas
    • Christmas
    • Easter
    • Fourth of July
    • Spring
    • Thanksgiving
    • Valentine’s Day
  • Seasons
    • Winter
    • Spring
    • Summer
    • Autumn
  • Recipes
    • Appetizers
    • Beverages
    • Desserts
    • Main Dishes
    • Side Dishes
    • Soups
  • Project Gallery
    • Crafts
    • Decorating
    • DIY
    • Good Ideas
    • Tutorials
  • Shop My Home
  • Nav Social Menu

    • Bloglovin
    • Email
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter

At The Picket Fence with Vanessa Hunt

Where Ideas for your Home Meet Inspiration for your Heart

  • Book
  • Speaking
  • Meet Vanessa
    • Featured

May 7, 2015

Build Up Sweet Friends, Build Up

Pursuing your dreams can be a funny thing.

It brings up so many different emotions. We’re putting ourselves out there. Setting goals, taking risks, praying, hoping, willing those dreams to come true.

And often what happens as we lay ourselves bare in the pursuit of our dreams is that suddenly we’ve created extra space for insecurity to seep in. As if we all needed more of that right?

a candle loses nothing

Recently I was deeply impacted by someone else’s insecurity. By their inability to ‘light my candle’.

It was such a very obvious slight. There was no getting around the fact that they intended to keep me down.

I’ve talked a lot lately about what happens when you’re insecurity meets my insecurity.

This time though, instead of allowing their insecurity to have power over me I did something completely counter-intuitive.

Sure, I felt hurt. I was confused and there was even a fleeting moment of anger.

But really, I just felt sad. So very sad.

For them.

Because, can you imagine what it must feel like to walk around knowing that you intentionally tried to stifle someone’s dream? That your insecurity, your inability to build up another person might hinder their success?

I think it must feel just awful.

roses and snowballs

And I could have let this situation have power over me. I could have let their insecurity meet my insecurity and wreak havoc.

But I didn’t. And friends, the only reason I was able to extend grace and forgiveness (even though this person hasn’t asked for it!) is because my Heavenly Father extends grace and mercy and forgiveness to me time and time again and He has done a mighty work in my heart to get me to this place on my faith journey.

I guess I’m writing this to you as a challenge.

My challenge to you is to build up.

Because there is room for EVERYONE to pursue their dreams! We should celebrate, encourage and come alongside each other.

I know the joy having some of my dreams coming true and I want nothing more than for others to get to experience that too.

But in the pursuit of those dreams we have to be all the more aware of how we can get in our own way. How we run the risk of our fears and insecurity not only hurting ourselves but also hurting others.

You know how they say that when you are feeling really down, forcing yourself to smile actually makes you feel better inside?

Well, I think the same is true when it comes to building others up.

Are you tempted to not say ‘congratulations’ because that person is getting an opportunity you really wanted?

Do it anyway.

Is it hard to pay that compliment because that person never gives them to you?

Do it anyway.

Do you have the opportunity to help someone along in the pursuit of their dreams but you are afraid that they’ll pass you by?

Do it anyway.

Because while it’s a guarantee that you will regret NOT helping, I promise that you will never regret helping.

So build up, sweet friends, build up!

Vanessa signature

16 Comments Filed Under: Devotionals

Subscribe

Get the latest goodness straight to your inbox!

Previous Post: « Chalky Finish Coffee Table Makeover
Next Post: When You Have a Mom Like This… »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Hope Williams says

    May 7, 2015 at 3:02 AM

    Forgiveness is absolute. For the one giving it. It frees us up to use that extra space for something good. When you give of yourself to build others up, suddenly your strengths are stronger!
    And it is so much easier to build someone up. It’s takes so much more effort, daring effort to bring someone else down.
    We are here to be kind, love, forgive and help. This falls under every one of those.
    Congrats on rising to your challenge!

    Reply
  2. Kim says

    May 7, 2015 at 3:31 AM

    Very true and very inspiring. Thank you!

    Reply
  3. Susan says

    May 7, 2015 at 4:14 AM

    What beautiful and powerful words and God is so good – I really needed to read this this morning before I meet with a co-worker who seems to be working against the good of the department = I typically do not have time to read my blogs in the mooring but out schedule has changed this week and I have a few extra minutes to read a blog or two – this is God – He knew I needed to read this works before heading off for the meeting. Thank you for saying yes to God in writing these words, I have a feeling many will benefit from them today! I am taking you up on your challenge! Blessings

    Reply
  4. Peg says

    May 7, 2015 at 4:44 AM

    You said that “this person doesn’t know that I know what I know”
    which makes me think you heard something from someone else.
    Please be very careful and make sure comments weren’t taken
    out of context. I also think the person repeating this information
    to you may be blowing on your candle, just a little.

    That being said, forgiveness is always very empowering. : )

    Reply
    • At The Picket Fence says

      May 7, 2015 at 7:12 AM

      Peg you are so right that it is a very dangerous thing when we start believing gossip! This was one of those instances where I was hearing from someone who was completely outside of the relationship and had NO idea that the information they shared showed me how this other person really felt about me. They are someone in an industry that we work with and would have no reason to blow out my candle at all. 🙂 But I completely agree that we have to be very careful when we hear second-hand information that we don’t automatically take it as truth.

      Reply
  5. Shirley@Housepitality Designs says

    May 7, 2015 at 4:50 AM

    Bravo Vanessa!…I was taught that you must encourage others, help them achieve their dreams as much as you want to achieve yours and that truly makes you a better and happier person. To always be happy for someone’s good fortune, for some day it just may be your turn and you would love the same love and support. I try to surround myself with people with the same attitude, because life is too short to be burdened with naysayers and unhappy and sometimes toxic people. Love the quote Vanessa…it says it all!…I am here with my pom poms cheering you on toward your dreams!

    Reply
  6. Cindy Barganier says

    May 7, 2015 at 5:05 AM

    Well said sweet Vanessa. God always honors when we do things His way. Wish we could have another beach talk together. Miss you two!
    xoxo
    Cindy

    Reply
  7. Sue Tait says

    May 7, 2015 at 8:58 AM

    It takes so little effort to encourage someone, I don’t understand people who can’t seem to do that. Just to see the look on their face when you say something positive or kind or uplifting to them is such a treasure. Truly, folks, it is a blessing to YOU to make someone else feel better about ANYthing. Try it and see if I’m wrong~~~
    This is a great article, THANKS!!!

    Reply
  8. Renee @ The Refined Relic says

    May 7, 2015 at 9:15 AM

    You have such a beautiful heart Vanessa. A great message for us all. Thank you for encouraging and inspiring others. Have a blessed day.

    Reply
  9. Michele says

    May 7, 2015 at 10:50 AM

    Well stated: every single time we encourage, support, help – we are making our loving candles glow brighter in the eyes of Heaven. The entire Bible is about forgiveness and turning the other cheek, etc., – Golden Rule, if you will.

    I wish you both the best in every way, truly.

    Reply
  10. Bonnie says

    May 7, 2015 at 4:05 PM

    Great viewpoint and you are absolutely right!!

    Reply
  11. Julie Kimmel says

    May 7, 2015 at 9:05 PM

    Vanessa, what do you do when you are completely willing to admit you may have unknowingly hurt someone and you have ask for forgiveness, but in actuality they are not willing to admit their part or to forgive you? I am embroiled in a family drama that is killing me slowly. People have hurt each other, nasty words were said back and forth but I am the only one asking for forgiveness and I’m completely willing to forgive them. Yet they will not even consider forgiveness. I’d love your take on this, please. I really admire your honesty and share the love of The Lord with you.

    Reply
    • At The Picket Fence says

      May 8, 2015 at 5:16 PM

      Oh Julie. First of all, let me just say that I am so very sorry for what you are going through. I can literally feel your pain as I read your words and believe me when I say that I truly get it. My husband and I have talked about this situation often particularly when it comes to sincerely wanting to make peace. And we keep coming back to this passage in scripture, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.” Romans 12:18 Other translations say “Do all that you can to live at peace with everyone.” From what I hear you saying, YOU are doing everything you can to live at peace with them. You are offering sincere apologies (even when you don’t really know what you did wrong), you are asking forgiveness, being willing to extend forgiveness and grace. So you are obeying the scripture. Beyond that, it is up to them to do what THEY can to live at peace with you. I know from experience how incredibly painful it is to live each day with fractured relationships within a family and to try over and over to bring healing. But when the other people aren’t in a place where they have eyes and hearts that are open to acknowledging the full truth of a situation then it is an absolute waste of time to keep trying. Pray for them, pray for healing, pray for the situation and be 100% willing and available when they are ready to reconcile and restore, but beyond that you will have to pray that God will give YOU a sense of peace even when it’s unresolved. It’s super hard! I’ve had many a sleepless night over my fractured relationship. But as long as I know that I am obeying what God is asking of me then that is all that really matters. I can’t control them, I can only control me. I will be praying for your situation and that there will be resolution but also for peace for your heart in the meantime. Blessings to you and thank you so much for sharing your heart with me!! 🙂

      Reply
  12. Ann hubble says

    May 8, 2015 at 3:24 PM

    Bravo! So very well and lovingly stated.

    Reply
  13. Marty Walden says

    May 8, 2015 at 4:05 PM

    You are a precious friend to me, Vanessa. Your sweet spirit and compassion shine through and encourage me to reflect, hang on and trust God. Love you!

    Reply
  14. mysha says

    May 11, 2015 at 1:24 PM

    This is such a great post! Thank you for your inspiring words. Having just recently started a blog I have noticed some people being such downers. It’s nice to see a bright light!:)

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recipe Rating




Primary Sidebar

Search This Blog

Get the book!

Invite Vanessa to speak at your event!

Stay updated!

  • A New Look for the Family Room

    A New Look for the Family Room
  • Honey Tea Cake Loaf with Lemon Glaze

    Honey Tea Cake Loaf with Lemon Glaze
  • The Slow Exit

    The Slow Exit
  • Honed Quartzite Kitchen Counters Reveal

    Honed Quartzite Kitchen Counters Reveal

Sign Up and Never Miss A Post!

Must Reads

Latest Recipes

Strawberry Muffins with Lemon Glaze

Honey Tea Cake Loaf with Lemon Glaze

Apple Bread Pudding

view more recent recipes

Recent Posts

  • Decorating a Sofa Table May 31, 2023
  • Strawberry Muffins with Lemon Glaze April 19, 2023
  • Console Table Refresh March 24, 2023
  • Laundry Room Makeover February 23, 2023
  • Winter Decorating Ideas January 27, 2023

Footer

Stay Connected!

Instagram

I’m never.going.back to stressful, time-consumin I’m never.going.back to stressful, time-consuming seasonal decorating. When I think back on the years where I would feel all of the pressure to come up with something fresh and creative I’m seriously embarrassed. Truly. Because it was such a waste. A waste of my time, my energy, my resources. Something clicked with me a few years ago. I was just done. I needed to simplify. I needed to not spend an obscene amount of time looking at fireplace mantels on Pinterest and trying to figure out how to make mine look amazing. I needed to put it all in the proper place in my heart and my mind. Which meant, it had to go waaaaayyyy down on the priority list. So far down it almost wasn’t on it. And I needed to confess to the Lord that I had allowed it to become an idol. 

Yes, I want to have a home that I enjoy. Yes, I love pretty things. But something really amazing happened when I finally released it all. When I decided to not give into the pressure and panic I would feel when I would scroll through my Instagram feed. When I just laid it all down and said…enough. There was this incredible irony in it. Because, the less time I took to decorate my home for each season, the more I found myself loving the results. I think that all along I had just been getting in my own way. It’s really taken a lot of time and prayer for me to finally be at a place where even though I still struggle with insecurities and I still have doubts from time to time, I’m becoming increasingly more confident in who God created me to be. And, just like my home, I’m finding that as I relax into myself, letting go of the comparisons and the pressure, the more I can actually lean into the calling He has placed on my life. 🍂

Leave a comment if you can relate! 

#wearethehomemakers #homemaking
“As the alluring song of September begins to whi “As the alluring song of September begins to whisper in my ear, my passionate spirit yearns for the splendor of its promise.” (Peggy Toney Horton)

Happy September dear friends! While I’m not quite ready to let go of summer and I plan to make the most out of the lingering, warm days, I’ll admit to starting to think about my fall decor this year. And one way to get inspired is to take a look back at previous years. Here’s just a glimpse at some of the ways I’ve welcomed Autumn to my home! 🍂

#september #falldecorating #falldecor #falldecoratingideas #wearethehomemakers
Labor Day weekend might mean that we’re turning Labor Day weekend might mean that we’re turning the corner and getting closer to fall but I’m not quite ready to let summer go. So I’ll just be over here continuing to whip up some super simple summer meals for my family that frankly can be enjoyed in any season. These shrimp rolls I made the other night were definitely a hit and would be great for any of your upcoming holiday weekend gatherings!

Shrimp Rolls 🍤

Ingredients
1-2 lbs of shrimp that is peeled, deveined and tail off (If using frozen make sure it’s thawed completely)
1/3 cup mayonnaise 
1/2 of a lemon
2 Tbsps chopped scallions
1 Tbsp chopped dill
1 Tbsp chopped Italian parsley
1 Tsp of Old Bay seasoning (more if you like!)
pinch of sea salt and pinch of black pepper
Hoagie Rolls
Softened butter

Directions: Gently pat the shrimp with a paper towel to remove any excess moisture. Roughly chop the shrimp and place in a bowl. Add mayonnaise, squeeze half of lemon and stir to combine before adding in the scallions, dill and parsley. Stir to combine and then add the additional seasonings. Spread butter on hoagie rolls and toast in the oven until lightly browned. Pile on the shrimp mixture and enjoy! 

#shrimproll #foodie #weeknightdinner #easydinner #seafoodlover
Today has been a very Monday-ish kind of Monday. W Today has been a very Monday-ish kind of Monday. We woke up to the sound of chainsaws and rushed downstairs to find that our backyard neighbors were having two of the huge trees that line our shared fence removed. These trees have been here longer than the neighborhood and no, they weren't dead or causing damage to roofs, foundations, etc. They were beautiful and gave us wonderful privacy. We had no notice of this happening so this came as quite a shock. Because we were given no notice, we didn't have the chance to cover our outdoor furniture or plants and everything is now coated in a thick layer of sawdust including the fresh bark we recently put in the garden beds. And now our lovely privacy is gone, replaced by a direct view of an above ground pool and RV. I know, I know, it's totally a first world, privileged kind of problem to have. But, now we have to spend thousands of dollars on plants to try and recapture some semblance of privacy. Now we have days worth of clean up to do after we had JUST done a massive freshening up of our backyard. My overarching feeling has just been weariness at the way our world is today.

I think about how often we try to do right by people, to be respectful and courteous. To be thoughtful and considerate. And it’s not reciprocated. How its starting to seem more and more like people have just given up on those seemingly small niceties. And my soul just feels heavy. Because I feel like so much of what used to be common courtesy is not so common anymore. Drivers on the roads are angrier and more reckless than ever before. Red lights being run are an everyday occurrence around town. On our recent family vacation, I heard more people using the F word out in public than ever before even while around children. Where are manners? Where is kindness? I'm finding myself being surprised when someone is thoughtful because it seems like a rarity. And that's just all on a micro, local level. Don't even get me started on the insanity in our world/culture. After I returned from grocery shopping (which can also be soul crushing), I found myself desperate for a reminder of the truth. 

*Part 2 continued in the comments.*
How often is it in our lives that we don’t fully How often is it in our lives that we don’t fully grasp our strengths or our weaknesses until we are put to the test? Little did I know how much I would love my role as a wife, mother and homemaker until I became one. And that in my endeavor to do those roles to the best of my ability, it would bring to the forefront gifts and talents and blessings that I use outside of these walls.

As I water others, I’m watered too because it brings such joy to care for those around me. But it can also make me see more clearly the areas in which I’m lacking and be a very humbling reminder of how much I still need to grow and learn.

Proverbs 11:25 says, “Whoever brings blessing will be enriched and one who waters will himself be watered.”

Have you done any ‘watering’ of others this week? How has it blessed and ‘watered’ you in return?
“Mom, this is one of my favorite meals that you “Mom, this is one of my favorite meals that you make.” Statements like this from my kids fill me with so much joy and such a sense of assurance that my role as the maker of this home is one that makes an impact on them in both big and small ways. It’s not just sheet pan shrimp boil. 

It’s nourishment
It’s time together around the table
It’s laughing as we try to get the butter sauce out of the pan
It’s a memory
It’s an imprint on their lives 

The ordinary act of making a meal becomes EXTRAordinary. And I try to keep that in mind as I do this task day in and day out, year after year. 

***

Ingredients: 
1 pound baby red or yellow potatoes
Green beans or corn (4 ears cut in half) whichever you prefer
1/2 cup unsalted butter, melted
4 cloves garlic, minced
1 tablespoon Old Bay seasoning
1/2 tsp coarse sea salt and pinch of black pepper 
1 pound medium shrimp, peeled and deveined
1 (12.8-ounce) package smoked andouille sausage, thinly sliced
Crusty bread for dipping 

Directions:
Preheat oven to 400 degrees F. Lightly oil a baking sheet or coat with nonstick spray. In a large pot of boiling salted water, cook potatoes until just tender, about 10 minutes. Put potatoes, shrimp, sausage and green beans or corn on baking sheet. Pour butter over top. Sprinkle with old bay seasoning and salt and pepper. Mix well to combine. Bake for about 12 minutes or until shrimp is pink. 

#shrimpboil #sheetpandinner #sheetpanmeals #homemaking
Temperatures in the 100’s call for fresh and lig Temperatures in the 100’s call for fresh and light cocktails! My husband is my own built in bartender and he put this together the other night. 

2 jiggers of gin (you could also use vodka) 
*you should do a jig when using a jigger 😉*
Crushed ice 
Grapefruit tonic 
Squirt of lime 
Sprig of mint 

Easy and so refreshing!! ☀️

#cocktails #summercocktails
There is something magical about the late summer e There is something magical about the late summer evenings. Maybe it’s because we have a greater sense of the fact that these long days are slowly shortening and we want to savor them as much as we can. I know I intend to do just that. 

I hope you’re having a wonderful August so far dear friends!
Variations of this recipe are on repeat at our hou Variations of this recipe are on repeat at our house all summer long. We’re big on the ‘build your own’ method of making dinner especially on very hot days. Simplicity for the win! 
#recipes #easydinner #easydinnerideas #homemaking
In music, rhythm is a regular repetition or a grou In music, rhythm is a regular repetition or a grouping of beats. No matter what else a piece of music has in terms of its pitch or tone, the rhythm never changes. Its the stabilizing force and brings order to a composition that would be completely chaotic without it.

The same can be said of rhythms in our lives and in our homes. When everything else feels out of control, rhythms and patterns provide us with stability and something that we can rely upon to give us a sense of security in a very insecure world. But, too often, we associate the rhythmic things we do in our lives as merely tasks to be gotten through rather than gifts which provide much-needed balance.

Whether it’s making the coffee every night before we go to bed or doing my devotional in the morning before the rest of the house wakes up or watering my garden, these simple tasks provide a rhythm to my day that is truly grounding. 

What’s something that you do that you would classify as a rhythm or pattern in your week?
Load More... Follow
Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2023 · Divine theme by Restored 316

Copyright © 2023 At The Picket Fence