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At The Picket Fence with Vanessa Hunt

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October 20, 2017

Encouragement for Parents of Tweens and Teens

A recent study was released that revealed the most lonely stage of parenting. And the results are probably shocking to everyone besides those who are actually in that stage. Are you ready to know which one it is? Well, you might be surprised to know that moms who are raising middle schoolers are considered among the loneliest of any stage of motherhood. Yep. More than when they are babies and even more than when they leave the nest.

Why is this? Well, everything about this stage is just so WEIRD. Kids at this age are going through so many changes both emotionally and physically and we parents feel like we just have to buckle up for the roller coaster ride that is early adolescence. In addition, there are fewer and fewer opportunities for us to connect with other parents. Gone are the days of mommy groups and playdates at the park.  In addition, we are less likely to share what is really going on with our kids because we want to protect their privacy and often our own uncertainty about our parenting choices can make us hesitant to confide in others. Plus, the issues are far bigger now than they were when our kids were little. Gone are the fears of when they will be potty-trained and they are replaced with fears over choices that will affect the rest of their lives and our lives too.

So, in my efforts to help combat the loneliness, I’m determined to share some of what I’ve learned so far in this stage of parenting (this one is meant for those of you parenting tween/teen boys) and I hope that it will be an encouragement to you and a reminder that you aren’t alone.

 

Do you have any other tips or words of encouragement you could share? Or, maybe you’re struggling and just need a safe place to share. This is definitely that place! I’d love to hear from you.

And thank you as always for meeting me here at the fence,

2 Comments Filed Under: Family, Good Thoughts, Kids Tagged With: kids, parenting

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  1. Margaret says

    October 23, 2017 at 7:11 AM

    Could you put this video content in print? I can’t get the video and would
    love to read your comments on raising tween boys.

    Reply
    • At The Picket Fence says

      October 23, 2017 at 1:54 PM

      Hi Margaret! That is SUCH a great idea and I will definitely do that asap! So sorry you weren’t able to access the video but I will let you know as soon as I have it typed up for you to read. 🙂

      Reply

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“Those who know your name trust in you, for you, “Those who know your name trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.” Psalm 9:10
This is one of my most favorite projects from my b This is one of my most favorite projects from my book Life in Season! 

Because, if heaven has a fragrance, I’m fairly certain it smells like lilacs.

I think that somewhere along the way the verse in the Bible that said, ‘heaven will smell like lilacs’ just got lost in translation. But it HAD to have been in there at some point, right?

When I bury my head in the blossoms (which I absolutely MUST do every single time I walk past them), I immediately feel a stirring in my soul.

It seems like I wait forever for my lilac tree to bloom. Every year I anxiously watch as the buds begin to form on the branches and then when the blossoms finally burst forth I begin that agonizing process of deciding the absolute perfect moment to snip them and bring them inside.

And then, after all of that waiting and watching it’s just over…done. Because, unlike heaven, lilacs don’t last for an eternity. So, making my own lilac room spray seemed like the perfect way to enjoy their fragrance long after the blossoms have faded.

Here’s how to make it! Ingredients: Water, Vodka, Lilac fragrance oil. Directions: Fill spray bottle with 50/50 ratio of water to vodka. Add 12 drops of lilac oil. Give it a shake, spray and if the scent isn’t strong enough, simply add a few more drops of lilac oil.

Once you’ve made this lilac scented room spray you will be very tempted to spray it in every room in your house. And someone may want to use it in the bathroom to cover up other less…ummmm….pleasing aromas.

But, do not, I repeat do NOT, let them.

You’ve captured the fragrance of heaven in a bottle and you wouldn’t want to go and tarnish it now would you? 😉
We had two back to back days of sunshine (the most We had two back to back days of sunshine (the most we’ve had in a LONG time) and now we are back to pouring rain. This has officially confirmed what I’ve know to be true for awhile now.

I’m a MUCH better version of myself when the sun is shining! 🤪 So I’ll just be over here today plotting and planning how my husband and I can be snowbirds someday when the kids are out of the house.

If you could spend your winters (and apparently most of spring too!) in any part of the country, where would it be?
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What are your favorite plants that you look forward to seeing in the summer?
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Two of our bathrooms are also in need of major makeovers. And we’ve saved up enough money over the years to tackle those projects. But, for the most part, we made the decision to use the bulk of that money in another way. While we knew that it was financially wise to invest in our house, we also knew that the greatest investment we could make was in our children. 

I’ll admit, there are times where I see other people doing massive overhauls of their entire home in a matter of months and I feel a prick of envy. But, we decided that if our choice was between waiting a bit longer to enjoy a renovated bathroom or going on adventures as a family, we would choose adventures every time. And we don’t regret that decision for a single second. It’s not that we haven’t tackled home projects (we’ve done a lot!). It’s just that it’s been a slow and steady process. 

Most recently, we let our son pick where we would travel for spring break since this is his senior year of high school and we are trying to make up for lost time. With so much of life ‘paused’ for two years, we have appreciated these moments more than ever. And, since he’ll be heading to college in the fall, we are very aware of how important it is to spend this time together while we still have a modicum of control over everyone’s schedules.

We have many years left to remodel our home but only so much time left to make memories with our children.

And, while I’m always happy to look around my home and see rooms that are updated and more reflecting of our style, it doesn’t compare to the joy I feel when I look around my home and see the people I love the most who have been shaped by the many adventures we’ve experienced together.
Happy Saturday!! After endless days of rain (and h Happy Saturday!! After endless days of rain (and hail and snow) we are finally getting some sunshine and warmer temperatures. I’ll be honest, it’s really affected my spirits having one gloomy day after the next. So this is a much needed reprieve. Our cherry trees are showing off outside my kitchen window and we plan to get outside and make the most of these days while we have them.

What’s the weather like where you are?
“The devil, darkness, and death may swagger and “The devil, darkness, and death may swagger and boast, the pangs of life will sting for a while longer, but don’t worry; the forces of evil are breathing their last. Not to worry…HE’S RISEN!” (Charles R. Swindoll).

Happy Easter! He is risen indeed!
Who has believed our message? And to whom has the Who has believed our message? And to whom has the arm of the Lord been revealed?

For he grew up before him like a tender shoot, and like a root out of parched ground; he has no stately form or majesty that we should look upon him, nor appearance that we should be attracted to him.

He was despised and forsaken of men, a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and like one from whom men hide their face, he was despised, and we did not esteem him. Surely our griefs he himself bore, and our sorrows he carried; yet we ourselves esteemed him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. 

But he was pierced through for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the chastening for our well-being fell upon him, and by his scourging we are healed.

All of us like sheep have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; but the Lord has caused the iniquity of us all to fall on him. (Isaiah 53)
I try to always remember to put a water bottle in I try to always remember to put a water bottle in my car before I go to pick up my daughter from school. She didn't ask me to do this, but a few months ago I began to notice that she was often thirsty when she would get in the car. Her water bottle filled up at the beginning of the day was empty by the time school got out and she would ask if she could have some water from my hydroflask. So I make sure to have one waiting for her. It's just a simple thing, really. But, I want her to know that I'm paying attention, that I see her.

Isn't it amazing how small gestures can make us feel less invisible? Knowing that someone is thinking of us and takes the time to meet a need that we might not have even realized we had? These little acts can have big impacts. What is something that someone has done for you recently that made you feel valued and seen?

What have you done for someone else to remind them that you are paying attention to their needs?

“No one is useless in this world who lightens the burdens of another.”
― Charles Dickens
“The next day the large crowd that had come to t “The next day the large crowd that had come to the feast heard that Jesus was coming to Jerusalem. So they took branches of palm trees and went out to meet him, crying out, ‘Hosanna! Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord, even the King of Israel!’ – John 12:9-19
#palmsunday
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