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At The Picket Fence with Vanessa Hunt

Where Ideas for your Home Meet Inspiration for your Heart

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May 13, 2017

Let’s Talk About Mother’s Day

  “Rejoice with those who rejoice: mourn with those who mourn.” (Romans 12:15)

lavender topiaries on dining table

This is what we do on Mother’s Day.

Because, my friends, it IS actually possible to feel two emotions at the same time. This is a concept that has taken me years to grasp and was particularly difficult when I was in a season of mourning on Mother’s Day while everyone else seemed to be rejoicing.

vintage vignette

But, I have learned that there is room for both emotions to co-exist even in the exact same moment.

It’s an amazing thing when you realize that celebrating another’s joy doesn’t take away from your loss.

And it’s an equally amazing thing when you realize that mourning another’s loss doesn’t take away anything from your celebration.

Spring bouquet with lilacs and snowball blossoms

We can’t do it through our own strength though. It’s only by the power of Christ in us that we are able to accomplish this.

So, to those of you who will wake up on Mother’s Day and will be regaled with love and attention, we rejoice with you! This day is one of celebration for you and no one would ever begrudge you that.

And to those of you who face this day with a heavy heart because you are dealing with

loss

unfulfilled dreams

a traumatic past

a traumatic present

…we mourn with you. We pray for you.

And for all of you, no matter what your circumstances, don’t ever forget that today is just a day.

This day, this one little man-made ‘holiday’ doesn’t define us. It doesn’t prove our worth.

We are defined by the amazing, perfect love of our Heavenly Father and our priceless worth to Him.

cover photo option1

Praying you feel moments of joy this Mother’s Day whether you are rejoicing or mourning,

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11 Comments Filed Under: Good Ideas

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Comments

  1. cindy barganier says

    May 13, 2017 at 5:55 AM

    And then there’s the whole “who do you celebrate with” dilemma. My Mom is still with me thankfully but she’s in another city. I’m a mom but I’m also an only child which means a command performance is expected on this day but I also want to see my daughter who lives in another state. Daughter is a mom and her babies are celebrating her which would be great fun to watch. Then my husband and son in law both have moms in yet more distant places. The whole situation is just crazy. Who thought this up anyway? LOL

    Reply
  2. Cheryl Licht says

    May 13, 2017 at 8:20 AM

    So, so good Vanessa! Happy Mother’s Day! ❤️

    Reply
    • Cheryk Licht says

      May 13, 2017 at 10:10 AM

      I’m actually linking this my newsletter this weekend. I love the awareness, the permission to be where we are at and the empathy to embrace each other’s journey as well. Bless you!!

      Reply
      • At The Picket Fence says

        May 13, 2017 at 7:58 PM

        Oh thank you sweet friend for wanting to link to it in your newsletter! I’m so glad that it was an encouragement. xoxo

        Reply
  3. Elaine says

    May 13, 2017 at 1:57 PM

    Thank you, your words helped me a lot. As a mother I mourn the loss of my older son and of course my mother and mother -in-law.
    I do love seeing my daughter and daughter-in-la celebrating with their now grown children. I also feel for my friends who for one reason or the other did not become mothers. Take care

    Reply
    • At The Picket Fence says

      May 13, 2017 at 7:57 PM

      Elaine I don’t even have the right words to express how sorry I am for the losses of your loved ones. Please know that you are especially being prayed for!!

      Reply
  4. Julie B. says

    May 13, 2017 at 9:22 PM

    Thank you for the post. I LOVE that you always point us to Jesus! It’s truly a blessing.

    Reply
  5. Shirley@Housepitality Designs says

    May 16, 2017 at 7:31 AM

    Love this post!….Hope you two had a wonderful Mother’s Day.

    Reply
  6. Elizabeth says

    May 9, 2018 at 6:51 PM

    Beautifully said.

    Reply
  7. L Jones says

    May 10, 2018 at 8:48 AM

    Though, we both have our mothers with us, kids were never part of God’s plan for our lives. Thanks for the reminder to be mindful of other situations. Sometimes, it can be hard and awkward (when it is ASSUMED you have kids).

    Reply
  8. Karen says

    May 11, 2018 at 8:34 AM

    Lovely. Well said.

    Reply

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Yesterday on the way home from school I had the ra Yesterday on the way home from school I had the radio tuned to my daughter's favorite station and a song that was playing had a line in it that really stood out to me. It made reference to a 'season of the sticks' which I think its safe to say must mean winter. I thought that was such an accurate, albeiet kind of depressing, picture of this time of the year.

While we definitely have more than our fair share of evergreen trees here in Oregon, we also have plenty of trees and bushes that are reduced to sticks during the cold months. But, this morning as I looked out my kitchen window, greedily sipping from my mug of coffee, I marveled at the beauty of the winter sunrise. The sky was all pinks and oranges with frost on the rooftops and a little bit of fog. And, I realized that part of why it was so amazing is because I could see it more clearly through the sticks. The bare branches allowed me a view that I wouldn't be able to see if those same branches were covered in leaves. Being stripped down to almost nothing revealed something magnificent.

We have seasons of the sticks in our lives too, don't we? Times when we feel as though we've been stripped bare and left exposed. It's easy to think that this is a place where all is ugly and dark. And yet, just like the winter sunrise was more visible because of the bare branches, the vulnerability we feel in the winter season of our souls allows us to get a glimpse of beauty that we wouldn't see otherwise. In the lush, warm seasons it's so easy to become comfortable. But in the bare, cold seasons we recognize just how much we need to rely on the One who placed the stars in the heavens and is sovereign over all.

If you feel like your soul has been stripped bare and you've been left exposed and vulnerable, may I encourage you today to ask the Lord to help you to see the beauty in this 'season of the sticks'.

“Answer me quickly, O Lord! My spirit fails! Hide not your face from me, lest I be like those who go down to the pit. Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust. Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul." Psalm 143:7
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It's honestly fairly representative of my state of mind these days as I can't seem to make the date on the calendar match the date in my spirit because it feels like it should be January 45th. Every year this month drags on and every year it seems to surprise me for some reason. In addition, my heart just feels heavy as I witness a lot of darkness and sadness around me. So, I'm choosing to control what I can control by making my house feel as cozy as possible, relishing the sunshine whenever it dares to peek through the clouds, gathering inspiration for warmer weather projects and, most importantly, resting in the comfort of the sovereignty of my Father.

“God’s voice thunders in marvelous ways; he does great things beyond our understanding. He says to the snow, ‘Fall on the earth,’ and to the rain shower, ‘Be a mighty downpour.’ So that everyone he has made may know his work..." Job 37:5-7
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The day after Christmas I found myself laundering The day after Christmas I found myself laundering and folding all of the linens we used the previous night as we hosted my husband's side of the family for dinner and other festivities. As I laid out each cloth napkin and folded them one by one, I couldn't help but be struck by what a simple, yet meaningful, task it was. It's such an honor and privilege to be the hostess and, at this stage of my life, I realize that this has almost one hundred percent become my role now. Our parents are in their 70's and have either downsized significantly or simply don't have the energy to take on hosting duties for a large group. I could resent this. I could feel overwhelmed by it. But, instead, I'm choosing to embrace it knowing that, someday, I too will pass the hosting torch and I hope that I will be welcomed with love and attentiveness. So, I fold the linen napkins, taking pleasure in the way all of the creases line up and how neat and tidy they look in the drawer of my dining room buffet. These seemingly simple chores are part of the lifeblood of homemaking and my attitude towards them can either be one of gratefulness or grumbly-ness (yes, I'm making up words now). 

And I’m choosing gratefulness. 

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Welcome to Tip Tuesday! I’m so excited to be kic Welcome to Tip Tuesday! I’m so excited to be kicking off the year with a brand new series! Each weekly installment will feature a tip for everything from your home to faith to parenting to family life and so much more. My goal for 2023 is to have far more personal interaction with this community while continuing on with the mission of weaving together all things heart and home. I hope you enjoy this first tip and I’d love to hear from you about whether or not you decorate for winter! 
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“He has made everything beautiful in its time. H “He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” 

Here’s to beginnings. Happy new year friends! May you experience the majesty and sovereignty of the Lord in 2023 like never before! ✨
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