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At The Picket Fence with Vanessa Hunt

Where Ideas for your Home Meet Inspiration for your Heart

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May 13, 2017

Let’s Talk About Mother’s Day

  “Rejoice with those who rejoice: mourn with those who mourn.” (Romans 12:15)

lavender topiaries on dining table

This is what we do on Mother’s Day.

Because, my friends, it IS actually possible to feel two emotions at the same time. This is a concept that has taken me years to grasp and was particularly difficult when I was in a season of mourning on Mother’s Day while everyone else seemed to be rejoicing.

vintage vignette

But, I have learned that there is room for both emotions to co-exist even in the exact same moment.

It’s an amazing thing when you realize that celebrating another’s joy doesn’t take away from your loss.

And it’s an equally amazing thing when you realize that mourning another’s loss doesn’t take away anything from your celebration.

Spring bouquet with lilacs and snowball blossoms

We can’t do it through our own strength though. It’s only by the power of Christ in us that we are able to accomplish this.

So, to those of you who will wake up on Mother’s Day and will be regaled with love and attention, we rejoice with you! This day is one of celebration for you and no one would ever begrudge you that.

And to those of you who face this day with a heavy heart because you are dealing with

loss

unfulfilled dreams

a traumatic past

a traumatic present

…we mourn with you. We pray for you.

And for all of you, no matter what your circumstances, don’t ever forget that today is just a day.

This day, this one little man-made ‘holiday’ doesn’t define us. It doesn’t prove our worth.

We are defined by the amazing, perfect love of our Heavenly Father and our priceless worth to Him.

cover photo option1

Praying you feel moments of joy this Mother’s Day whether you are rejoicing or mourning,

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11 Comments Filed Under: Good Ideas

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Comments

  1. cindy barganier says

    May 13, 2017 at 5:55 AM

    And then there’s the whole “who do you celebrate with” dilemma. My Mom is still with me thankfully but she’s in another city. I’m a mom but I’m also an only child which means a command performance is expected on this day but I also want to see my daughter who lives in another state. Daughter is a mom and her babies are celebrating her which would be great fun to watch. Then my husband and son in law both have moms in yet more distant places. The whole situation is just crazy. Who thought this up anyway? LOL

    Reply
  2. Cheryl Licht says

    May 13, 2017 at 8:20 AM

    So, so good Vanessa! Happy Mother’s Day! ❤️

    Reply
    • Cheryk Licht says

      May 13, 2017 at 10:10 AM

      I’m actually linking this my newsletter this weekend. I love the awareness, the permission to be where we are at and the empathy to embrace each other’s journey as well. Bless you!!

      Reply
      • At The Picket Fence says

        May 13, 2017 at 7:58 PM

        Oh thank you sweet friend for wanting to link to it in your newsletter! I’m so glad that it was an encouragement. xoxo

        Reply
  3. Elaine says

    May 13, 2017 at 1:57 PM

    Thank you, your words helped me a lot. As a mother I mourn the loss of my older son and of course my mother and mother -in-law.
    I do love seeing my daughter and daughter-in-la celebrating with their now grown children. I also feel for my friends who for one reason or the other did not become mothers. Take care

    Reply
    • At The Picket Fence says

      May 13, 2017 at 7:57 PM

      Elaine I don’t even have the right words to express how sorry I am for the losses of your loved ones. Please know that you are especially being prayed for!!

      Reply
  4. Julie B. says

    May 13, 2017 at 9:22 PM

    Thank you for the post. I LOVE that you always point us to Jesus! It’s truly a blessing.

    Reply
  5. Shirley@Housepitality Designs says

    May 16, 2017 at 7:31 AM

    Love this post!….Hope you two had a wonderful Mother’s Day.

    Reply
  6. Elizabeth says

    May 9, 2018 at 6:51 PM

    Beautifully said.

    Reply
  7. L Jones says

    May 10, 2018 at 8:48 AM

    Though, we both have our mothers with us, kids were never part of God’s plan for our lives. Thanks for the reminder to be mindful of other situations. Sometimes, it can be hard and awkward (when it is ASSUMED you have kids).

    Reply
  8. Karen says

    May 11, 2018 at 8:34 AM

    Lovely. Well said.

    Reply

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The first weekend in December seems like a good ti The first weekend in December seems like a good time for my annual gentle reminder about this month. I don’t know about you but, for me, December is a month of mixed emotions, ranging from joy-filled moments to ones that have me wanting to pull my hair out.

There are so many expectations and we put so much pressure on ourselves to create magical memories. And for years I have felt the added weight of wanting to make sure my family had opportunities throughout the month to grow in their relationship with Christ.

We celebrate advent and read all of the appropriate Baby Jesus books and encourage a spirit of generosity and heavily emphasize the real reason for the season.

But sweet friends, I want to remind you today that one month out of the year does not a strong relationship with the Lord make. December doesn’t define our faith in Christ.

For our families or for us.

There are 11 other months in the year. 11 other months to live out our faith in front of our children. 11 other months to pray with them. 11 other months to help them wrestle through their questions and add depth to their walk with the Lord. 11 other months to encourage them to have generous spirits.

Let’s stop putting so much pressure on this one month out of the year. Let’s be surprised at the ways we might be able to celebrate the baby in the manger without a dozen countdown calendars. Let’s give our kids some grace when they are focused more on gifts because…well…they’re kids after all.

And while we’re at it, let’s give ourselves some grace too.

Grace when we think we should feel all the warm fuzzy feelings about Christmas but we really just want to take a nap. Or have a good cry. 

Grace that reminds us that this month will soon be over and we will have a brand new year ahead of us.

A new year filled with big moments and little moments and everything in between.

A new year to draw even closer to our Savior.

My hope for you is that, as you head into this season, you will be given fresh perspective and that you will give yourself (and your family) permission to just ‘be’. ✨
✨ The first Sunday of Advent is upon us and this ✨ The first Sunday of Advent is upon us and this year I created a super simple centerpiece for my dining room that incorporates the candles we will use each of the four weeks leading up to Christmas. While we will only light one candle each week, I used more than four so that the centerpiece would look a bit more filled in. In keeping with my goal to embrace a softer approach to my decorating, this arrangement works perfectly and helps to keep our focus on the beauty and the meaning  of the Advent season. For more ideas like this, check out my previous Advent post! ✨

#advent #adventcandles #simplechristmas #wearethehomemakers
In this season of motherhood, my soul is feeling a In this season of motherhood, my soul is feeling a bit more tender. When Christmas rolls around and I no longer have wish lists that include Lego sets or dollhouses, I find that I want my home to reflect this craving for all things gentle.

So our hot cocoa station this year is much more simple and done in a neutral color palette that just subtly blends in with the rest of the decor. It still feels festive and is definitely still “user friendly” but it’s just a bit less…well…less.

And, that’s ok. It’s not that this area won’t ever again have bright colors (maybe even pops of red!) but, right now I’m happy to have things this way.

With all that is going on in the world right outside our door, my desire is for our home to truly feel like a respite. I want it to be where we come and let our guard down, our heart rates slow and to be flooded with a sense of peace in knowing that here is where we can just simply be. I want it to be a place of rest. Rest from the constant onslaught of news and information. Rest from the seemingly small struggles of school and jobs that can so often feel like big struggles.

And, most importantly, we rest in the comfort of knowing the One who is Sovereign over all and is the reason this month is so very special and sacred.

Many blessings to you dear friends as we kick off this wonderful season! ✨
Next week is first Sunday of Advent. And contrary Next week is first Sunday of Advent. And contrary to popular belief, the celebration of Advent is VERY different from just simply doing a ‘countdown to Christmas’. It’s not about having little drawers filled with candy or doors to open with prizes inside. Those things are so much fun and definitely help to build anticipation as you head closer and closer to the big day.

But Advent, from the latin word ‘adventus’ meaning ‘arrival’ or ‘appearance’ keeps the focus completely on celebrating the arrival of the King who came in the form of an infant.

This is one of our favorite family traditions and over the years I’ve figured out how to incorporate the Advent candles into my decor without using the traditional wreath. I hope this gives you some ideas and inspiration as we head into this sacred season. 🌲

#advent #adventdecoration #wearethehomemakers
Why do I start decorating before Thanksgiving? Bec Why do I start decorating before Thanksgiving? Because it’s the Saturday after and my house is almost completely ready to start the season! So I’m sitting with my coffee and just soaking it all up knowing that now I can focus on shopping, hosting and preparing our hearts for the start of Advent. The only thing left to do is get our fresh tree for the front room and then the decorating is done. 

Starting early is a gift I give to myself and I’m always grateful for it! 🌲

#simplechristmas #traditionalchristmas
“I would maintain that thanks are the highest fo “I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought, and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.” ~ G.K. Chesterton

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours dear friends! 🍂
Christmas has arrived in the family room where I k Christmas has arrived in the family room where I keep things simple but festive! We’ll get a fresh tree after Thanksgiving which will go in our front room bay window but this slim faux tree with its colorful ornaments tides us over for now. Which room in your home gets the Christmas treatment first? Or do you just start doing a little at a time in each room? 🎄

*pillow covers are from @jshhomeessentials
I share this recipe every year because it’s JUST I share this recipe every year because it’s JUST.THAT.GOOD! 

And I have a confession ...I’d rather have cranberry sauce smothering the turkey on my plate than gravy any day!! And this, this right here? Well it’s the best (and easiest!) cranberry sauce ever!! I eat on crackers and sandwiches and sometimes just by the spoonful. It’s so yummy! And I’m just so very thankful for all of you that I’m going to leave the recipe right here instead of making you go to the blog to get it. I promise you won’t regret having this on your Thanksgiving menu but be warned...you may find yourself up in the middle of the night sneaking some helpings of this deliciousness. Or maybe that’s just me!

Ingredients:
2 pounds fresh or frozen cranberries
2 oranges
2 cups granulated sugar
1 cup white wine.

Instructions:
Wash and pick over berries, removing any that are soft. Peel and dice oranges removing any seeds. Combine all ingredients in a large pot. Bring to a full boil. Reduce heat and continue cooking until cranberries pop open and mixture is thickening.
For best flavor, prepare and let stand for several days before using.

Gobble, gobble!! 🦃
How do I want people to feel when they walk throug How do I want people to feel when they walk through my front door? That’s always at the top of my mind when I’m decorating my entry for each season, particularly at Christmastime. 

✨I want them to feel like my home is greeting them with a smile.

✨I want them to feel like this is a place where care has been given to details (but not to the point of being too stuffy or too busy or too overwhelming). 

✨I want them to feel like there is peace here.

✨I want them to feel like they are welcome…because they are. 

My home is a reflection of my heart and my heart is a reflection of the ONE for whom I live and try to honor and praise all of my days, but especially at Christmas.

How do you want people to feel when they come into your home? 

#christmasentry #simplechristmas #simplicity #wearethehomemakers
This is not a criticism of those who are sharing t This is not a criticism of those who are sharing their great new Christmas finds but rather an encouragement to those of you who are feeling a bit overwhelmed by it all and trying to resist the temptation to purchase more items than you really need.

Several years ago I felt a conviction in my heart about how much time and money I was spending on trying to create a new look every Christmas. I was not being a good steward of my resources and I was far too easily swayed by the peer pressure in this area. And a funny thing happened when I smashed this idol that had taken up residence in my heart. I suddenly found renewed joy in decorating for the season. By keeping things simple and maybe only buying something like a new spool of velvet ribbon, I actually realized that I could be far more creative reusing and repurposing what I already had.

In the coming weeks your news feeds will be filled with temptations for MORE. Maybe, this year, you too can find the joy in LESS. 🌲

#simplechristmas #simplicity #wearethehomemakers
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