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Oh you guys, you are in for such a treat today! My dear friend Katie Reid wrote a book for all of us who are the doers. The women who like to get things done. We’re the checklist making, school party cupcakes at midnight baking, early morning before the rest of the family gets up waking, meals delivered to everyone in need taking, no rules breaking women…and we’re tired. Tired of all of the striving. But we’re also conflicted about how to marry our natural inclinations for doing with the call of receiving.
Based on the story of the time Jesus spent with Martha and Mary (Luke 10), in her newly released book, Made Like Martha, Katie beautifully captures this tension and offers an empathetic perspective, biblical truths and practical steps we can take to lead us to discovering the freedom to be who God created us to be.
And this week I’m SO thrilled to be helping her kick-off her mobile book club! If you haven’t had a chance to get the book, Katie has graciously provided all of chapter one for you for FREE! Just click here to begin reading.
In the summer of 1981, my parents moved us from Springfield, MO to Los Angeles, CA. At the time, my aunt and uncle were pastoring a church called the ‘Beach Fellowship’ and we began attending. Now, it wasn’t called that because it was simply close in proximity to the beach. No, this church literally gathered ON the beach. We went from wearing patent leather mary jane shoes in the ‘Bible belt’ to wearing swimsuits and flip-flops in the sand. To say this was quite a transition is the grossest of gross understatements.
The Sunday school class for my age group was held in a VW bus. Yep. I can’t say that I missed wearing itchy tights to church but even at 5 years old I knew I preferred the comfort of an air-conditioned room at Central Assembly of God to a hot, cramped van even if it was fun to pretend that I was one of ‘Charlie’s Angels’.
Out of all of the lessons I learned in the Beach Fellowship Sunday School class, the one that stands out the most didn’t involve a Bible story brought to life by a flannelgraph board. No, it happened during prayer time.
There I sat on the long, bench-like seat at the back of the van with the other kids, hands folded, eyes closed, trying so hard to focus on God. But, as the teacher began praying, my mind began wandering. And as my mind began wandering, my eyes opened and I looked around to see what everyone else was doing. That’s when I noticed another child also had her eyes opened and I quickly closed my own eyes again and waited for the prayer to be over.
Then our teacher asked us what we had learned during the prayer or if we had felt God speaking to us in any way. I don’t remember exactly what I said but it must have had something to do with the inside of the van (maybe the ugly drapes?). I do know that my prayer observation did not fly under the Sunday School teacher’s radar because she quickly responded, “Now, Vanessa, how would you have noticed that unless you had your eyes open during the prayer.” Caught. I was caught. I had broken some kind of cardinal rule of prayer by having my eyes open and looking around. The wave of shame and embarrassment that flooded over me rendered me speechless and all I could do was put my head down and count the minutes until I was released from my VW bus prison.
Why couldn’t I do what I was supposed to do? Me, the ultimate rule follower, had broken some kind of mysterious rule about prayer. Why was I so easily distracted? Why couldn’t I just sit still and think high and lofty thoughts about God?
Now, as an adult, it makes me furious to think back to that moment in time and how wrong that Sunday School teacher got it. Five year olds aren’t known for their ability to sit quietly with their eyes closed for an extended period of time.
But, what makes me even more disheartened is that it began to lay a foundation upon which was built a lifetime of feeling like there was something wrong with me. The enemy of my soul really messed with me for many years. On the one side, I got caught up in the vicious cycle of striving. Do more…work more…be more. There wasn’t a meal train I didn’t sign up for.
And, on the other side, I looked over at the people who were so content to just ‘be’. Not only did they not feel the pressure to sign up for every, single meal train, they didn’t even feel one bit of guilt about it. This was so baffling to me. I saw their Facebook posts where they talked about getting away all by themselves for a weekend of rest and worship. I watched as they so easily let things go.
I had sort of a spiritual schizophrenia going on. My innate ‘Martha-ness’ very much competing with what I was certain was the better way to be. The ‘Mary’ way.
These words from Katie in chapter one of ‘Made Like Martha’ so perfectly capture this struggle and the offer of freedom extended to us by our loving Father.
“I didn’t choose to be a doer. I was designed to be one. This temperament-this nature-is here to stay. It’s not to be erased but rather to be celebrated and used for God’s glory. Just because we are designed to do doesn’t mean we are inferior or superior to Mary types.”
If I could go back in time, I would tell that little girl sitting in the VW bus that it’s ok that she opened her eyes and looked around during the prayer. It’s ok that her natural tendencies are towards doing. It’s ok that her mind wanders a bit when she’s trying so hard to focus on God and that it doesn’t mean she loves Him less than the girl next to her who seems so fully in the moment.
Perhaps if that girl had understood that there isn’t a ‘better than’ when it comes to Mary or Martha, she would have been spared a lot of heartache and confusion. And perhaps, she would have learned much sooner (maybe even before she turned 40!) that she could embrace her ‘Martha-ness’ in a way that would allow her to serve the Lord from a place of freedom and peace and that this would be the best feeling ever.
So, for all of you who are constantly striving and trying and doing…are you ready to experience that freedom? Because throughout the coming weeks of this book club you will be taken on a journey that will have you embracing the way you were created as you learn how to use your giftings to honor God and experience the kind of rest that your soul is craving.
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Katie and I want to extend an invitation for you to join the ‘Made Like Martha’ Sisterhood Facebook group where we will be having ongoing conversations about the themes of the book and just supporting and encouraging each other on our individual journeys.
AND there is so much more in store for you in the coming weeks as the book club continues and we hear from these amazing women who will be sharing their own stories of how being ‘Made Like Martha’ has impacted their lives. I think it’s safe to say that probably no one else had Sunday School in a VW bus.
Now, how about a little bit of dialogue? Katie and I would love to talk with you about how you see yourself in the story of Mary and Martha so let’s dig into the following question.
Week One Discussion Question:
- Have you ever felt that there was a flaw in the way that you were created? What would it look like in your life to experience freedom in the areas where you are struggling to feel confident in the way that your Heavenly Father has created and gifted you?
I can’t wait to hear from you and I’m so glad you choose to meet me here today!
Oh Lord, the distracted prayer! That’s so me! This hits close to home because I struggle to focus on any one thing at a time… especially talking to God… someone I can’t even see right in front of me, which helps to focus my attention. A very tangible way it would look is by less apology from me. I tend to apologize for everything… even things I don’t need to.
Oh I SO understand the apologizing thing my friend! I do that too and so does my daughter. One time she asked me what her superhero name should be and I told her “The Apologizer”. LOL!! But yes, it’s a struggle and one born of guilt and a fear of being a disappointment. So hard!
I wouldn’t say that I have ever felt that I had a flaw in how I was created. But, I have MANY TIMES felt, and even now at times feel, that I have not lived up to my potential for which I was created. Not sure this makes any sense. But I have always acknowledged that I am wonderfully and fearfully made—I just don’t live up to the expectation, or somehow have screwed up living up to my potential. Growing up as a missionary’s daughter, being a military wife, being a pastor’s wife—all these are rather a fish bowl with everyone watching. The expections are high, and somehow because I am more Martha than Mary I miss the mark time and time again.
I completely understand what you are saying Lita and it definitely makes sense! I constantly struggle with a deep fear of letting people down, especially my Creator. It’s taken many years (and it will always be something I wrestle with) for me to realize that the enemy loves for me to feel this way because it keeps me from moving forward and living in freedom. Thank you so much for sharing your heart and for being here with us today!
I have always struggled and resonated with the story of Mary and Martha and always feeling so indignant because I am a Martha! How does one sit when there are things to do. The Lord has been working with me to do both…
Kimberly! I have struggled with this story too. But God is showing me the love He had for Martha and all those of us who are made like her. What good news, eh?! 😉
I just heard a podcast interview with this book and author. it was SO good!!! Really resonated and affirmed me. I can say with my mouth that I don’t believe I was made with a flaw but my actions show that I do when I compare myself with other women…appearance, accomplishments, abilities, parenting, etc…and I feel less than. I am a doer and that strength can be a weakness when my motives are wrong. I’ve always heard we need to stop and smell the roses and thought that SOMEBODY actually has to PLANT the roses! Mary did the better thing that can’t be taken from her because she invested in eternal things. When we doers do for eternal things I think God would say of us, she has chosen the better thing that can’t be taken from her. Because it will have eternal affect.
Pamela! So glad you enjoyed the podcast. Love what you said…who is going to plant the roses- ha, so true!
So honored that you are kicking off Chapter 1 of Made Like Martha, friend! The VW bus– amazing. 😉
I think my biggest flaw has been my lack of faith in myself! I’ve allowed the opinions of others to dictate how I view myself and oh how I gmfwek I’ve wasted a lot of years trying to be good enough for all the wrong people! I’m finally grasping how much God loves me and learning to be comfortable in my own skin! I’m more of a Martha but bit by bit my desire is to be more like Mary! To stop striving and just BE and enjoy the peace and presence of my Heavenly Father!
Wow! This is me! All my life, I have struggled to do more, be more, feeling pressure to be there for others in practical ways, food, errands, childcare, cleaning, etc. I watch other people and feel like a freak. I am realizing that some of it stems from my childhood, always trying to work harder so I would feel loved by my parents…..it never seemed to bring the results I hoped for, so I would try to work harder…….then resentment would set in………..a vicious circle. I still have a lot to give, but now after the loss of our son to cancer 18 mos ago, I am lost………….I simply don’t know what to do with myself…………I feel paralyzed with grief………. I am planning to get this book….thanks for listening.
I can relate with what everyone is sharing. I, too, have felt either I haven’t lived up to my potential in my own eyes, and most of all the Lord’s or that how I was designed I needed to improve upon it. I loved your post Vanessa! It’s so true that words that are spoken over us can haunt us for years. I have lived that in so many ways. I think this possibly wove itself into the feelings of not living up to my potential and feelings of striving to be better. Thank You Lord that in your vast love, we are loved just as we are. It has been a journey for me, and the Lord continues to prune and guide me. Made Like Martha is an amazing book. I loved it Katie Reid!! Thank you Vanessa.
I recently applied for a job at my son’s private Christian school but did not get it. Didn’t even get an interview. I immediately went down the path of thinking I was not a ‘good enough’ Christian.
Yes, I have certainly felt that there was a flaw (several actually/sadly) with the way I was created. God is so apparently working on correcting that deep-seated lie in this season of my life. I am grateful for the lie having recently been exposed as such and so thankful that this book is piggybacking on that discovery. Truth is what I long to walk in , not in lies! Freedom will be walking in truth as it relates to how I was made and who I was created to be. I am so grateful to be on this journey to freedom and peace.
I don’t like to think that I was a flawed creation because God doesn’t make mistakes; however, there are things about myself that I wish were different…like being taller than 5’2″. I do wish that I had been creative an Extrovert, but I am most definitely an Introvert, which keeps me from pursuing many things that I would like to do. I am definitely a Mary – not much Martha living and breathing inside of me at all. However, my sister is a Martha through and through. She drives me nuts with her schedules and I drive her nuts with my lack of one. Lol