Welcome to Simply Sundays…At The Picket Fence
“Say you’re sorry!” I sternly said to him. “Tell your sister, you’re sorry for picking at her!”
“sorry…,” he mumbled. “Now give her a hug,” I admonished him.
sigh…”okay,” he muttered and begrudgingly gave her a quick hug. Then he stomped off.
“There,” I thought, “see they love each other. They said they were sorry after all.”
How many of us have been through this scenario time and time again. We want our children to be “sorry” for their actions so we force them to say it. Because, saying it makes it true..right?
The other day I offended Bama Boy. He was upset. I was angry. I huffed off to my room to pout. I WAS NOT going to say I was sorry. Then I started to think. If he was a friend I had offended I wouldn’t hesitate to tell her I was sorry. In fact, I tell my friends or even strangers I’m sorry if I even THINK I’ve offended them in someway. Why do I struggle so much then, telling my husband…I’m sorry? My children…I’m sorry? My sister…I’m sorry? My parents..I’m sorry? Why is it so hard to tell the ones we love MOST that we’re “sorry”?
I’ve been thinking a lot about the words “I’m sorry.” What do they mean to the other person? Why should we say we’re sorry when we feel we haven’t done something wrong?
I believe “I’m sorry” conveys so much more than…I am guilty. I hurt you on purpose. It says…“I feel bad you are hurting.” “I hurt with you that an action of mine advertently or inadvertently caused you pain.” It says...”I know that you love me so much that you are hurt when I disappoint you in someway, or I’ve acted in a way you didn’t expect.”
See, we don’t care much for apologies from people we don’t have a connection with, a relationship with, people we love. They just don’t mean much, they are just words.
On the other hand, we do feel passionately about hearing “I’m sorry” from those we love the most…the ones who are the hardest to say “I’m sorry” too.
Saying “I’m sorry” can be the hardest two words to say. Saying it and meaning it is even harder.
Scripture says, “So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother (husband, child, parent…) has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” Matthew 5: 23-24.
You will notice it doesn’t say if you feel they DESERVE the apology. It doesn’t say do this ONLY if you hurt them intentionally. It states if you know that THEY feel hurt by your actions than seek reconciliation, say you’re sorry. Period.
Matthew also says this, “Knowing their thoughts, he said to them, “Every kingdom (family, friendship, relationship) divided against itself is laid waste, and no city or house divided against itself will stand. Matthew 12:25
Do not let the enemy divide your home and your relationships over two simple words.
Even when you don’t feel like it, “Say You’re Sorry.” I believe you will find a peace within yourself by doing so. Saying “I’m sorry” refreshes the spirit of the giver and the receiver of those words.
So I’m sure you’re wondering did I tell Bama Boy I was sorry? I swallowed my pride, and yes I did…and all was right with the world.