• Home
  • Privacy Policy
  • Contact
    • Collaborate
  • Blog
  • Parties
    • Children’s Parties Ideas
    • Holiday Parties
    • Adult Party Ideas
  • Holiday Ideas
    • Christmas
    • Easter
    • Fourth of July
    • Spring
    • Thanksgiving
    • Valentine’s Day
  • Seasons
    • Winter
    • Spring
    • Summer
    • Autumn
  • Recipes
    • Appetizers
    • Beverages
    • Desserts
    • Main Dishes
    • Side Dishes
    • Soups
  • Project Gallery
    • Crafts
    • Decorating
    • DIY
    • Good Ideas
    • Tutorials
  • Nav Social Menu

    • Bloglovin
    • Email
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter

At The Picket Fence with Vanessa Hunt

Where Ideas for your Home Meet Inspiration for your Heart

  • Book
  • Speaking
  • Meet Vanessa
    • Featured

March 6, 2011

Simply Sundays…Say You’re Sorry!


Welcome to Simply Sundays…At The Picket Fence

“Say you’re sorry!” I sternly said to him.  “Tell your sister, you’re sorry for picking at her!”  

“sorry…,” he mumbled.  “Now give her a hug,” I admonished him. 

sigh…”okay,” he muttered and begrudgingly gave her a quick hug.  Then he stomped off.

“There,” I thought, “see they love each other.  They said they were sorry after all.”

How many of us have been through this scenario time and time again.  We want our children to be “sorry” for their actions so we force them to say it.  Because, saying it makes it true..right?


The other day I offended Bama Boy.  He was upset.  I was angry.  I huffed off to my room to pout.  I WAS NOT going to say I was sorry.  Then I started to think.  If he was a friend I had offended I wouldn’t hesitate to tell her I was sorry.  In fact, I tell my friends or even strangers I’m sorry if I even THINK I’ve offended them in someway.   Why do I struggle so much then, telling my husband…I’m sorry?  My children…I’m sorry?  My sister…I’m sorry?  My parents..I’m sorry? Why  is it so hard to tell the ones we love MOST that we’re “sorry”?




Is it because it feels like an obligation?  Like we are little again being FORCED to say we’re sorry.  Is it because our pride gets in the way?  Will they’ll think I’m weak?  They’ll think they can just “run over me” whenever they want?  And besides, I didn’t do anything WRONG!


I’ve been thinking a lot about the words “I’m sorry.”  What do they mean to the other person? Why should we say we’re sorry when we feel we haven’t done something wrong?

I believe “I’m sorry” conveys so much more than…I am guilty.  I hurt you on purpose.  It says…“I feel bad you are hurting.”  “I hurt with you that an action of mine advertently or inadvertently caused you pain.”  It says...”I know that you love me so much that you are hurt when I disappoint you in someway, or I’ve acted in a way you didn’t expect.”

See, we don’t care much for apologies from people we don’t have a connection with, a relationship with, people we love.  They just don’t mean much, they are just words.

On the other hand, we do feel passionately about hearing “I’m sorry” from those we love the most…the ones who are the hardest to say “I’m sorry” too.

Saying “I’m sorry” can be the hardest two words to say.  Saying it and meaning it is even harder.

Scripture says, “So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother (husband, child, parent…) has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” Matthew 5: 23-24.

You will notice it doesn’t say if you feel they DESERVE the apology.  It doesn’t say do this ONLY if you hurt them intentionally.  It states if you know that THEY feel hurt by your actions than seek reconciliation, say you’re sorry. Period.

Matthew also says this, “Knowing their thoughts, he said to them, “Every kingdom (family, friendship, relationship) divided against itself is laid waste, and no city or house divided against itself will stand. Matthew 12:25

Do not let the enemy divide your home and your relationships over two simple words.

Even when you don’t feel like it, “Say You’re Sorry.” I believe you will find a peace within yourself by doing so.  Saying “I’m sorry” refreshes the spirit of the giver and the receiver of those words.

So I’m sure you’re wondering did I tell Bama Boy I was sorry?  I swallowed my pride, and yes I did…and all was right with the world.

Thank you for meeting me this Sunday…at the fence,


14 Comments Filed Under: Devotionals, Good Thoughts, Simply Sundays

Subscribe

Get the latest goodness straight to your inbox!

Previous Post: « Inspiration Friday Party No. 5!
Next Post: Blog of the Week and an Etsy Giveaway! »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Deidra says

    March 6, 2011 at 3:03 PM

    Now you’ve got me singing Elton John’s “Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word.” The thing about having to say “sorry” is that when I did whatever I did that I now have to apologize for, I thought I was right. Apologizing is an admission that I wasn’t. And that what I did or didn’t do or said or didn’t say didn’t come off right. Ugh. But…it is one of the words that can lead to some of the greatest healing – for the giver and the receiver.

    Reply
  2. michelle says

    March 6, 2011 at 3:36 PM

    Heather this is so great! I have been trying to teach my children the meaning of the word sorry. How we use it for little things and how we use it in the bigger things, and that it is not just a word that you say but something that you have to give from your heart. The hardest part is when they say sorry and think that that is it, like a band aid for the time being, then they do it again and the cycle continues. For such a small word it has such a huge impact and meaning. I think we all need a reminder of what the word truly means, thank you for this!

    Reply
  3. Beth@Wiccan Make Some Too says

    March 6, 2011 at 3:43 PM

    I would make my children hug each other for 5 full minutes. Once my oldest daughter & her older brother walked crab like, still hugging into the other room that I went into to do something to ask if the 5 minutes was up yet. This always ended up with the children laughing. A few times all 3 kids had to hug at the same time!

    Reply
  4. NanaDiana says

    March 6, 2011 at 3:44 PM

    Heather- What a great post. I think there are so many people that say I’m sorry and they are just playing lip service. It doesn’t REALLY mean they are sorry…they just felt like they SHOULD apologize. And, I have to admit, that I have done that too…said I’m sorry without really meaning it…just to get it “over with”. I don’t think there is anything worse than a insincere apology (even though I have already amitted giving them-lol). It needs to be heartfelt. We need to put ourselves in the other person’s place and truly apologize for the feelings we have CAUSED THEM to experience.

    And, sometimes, even apologizing seems insignificant for real harm we have caused…and that is sad and leaves you with an empty feeling.

    Thanks for a wonderful Sunday message..one I needed to hear! xxoo Diana

    Reply
  5. Beverly says

    March 6, 2011 at 4:52 PM

    Thank you Heather.. just what I needed to hear. I love that you reminded me of God’s word on the subject. No we don’t have to have malice intent to hurt someone do we? I often forget that people can be hurt regardless of how I feel.

    Reply
  6. Carol says

    March 6, 2011 at 8:09 PM

    Heather, thanks for the reminder to “mean it” when I say “I’m sorry.” Sometimes saying it becomes a habit (one that I would like to stop).

    Love you lots,

    Your Mother

    Reply
  7. Cindy says

    March 6, 2011 at 9:36 PM

    Such a lovely post. So true, the Lord forgives much and we should also. I have learned that even though I may be “right,” it is not worth drawing a line in the sand when the other person is hurting… I’m Sorry… beautiful words in all scenerios.
    Thanks for sharing.

    Reply
  8. alison says

    March 7, 2011 at 12:34 PM

    ‘i’m sorry’ are two of the most powerful words that parents can speak to our children (and to each other in front of our children)…we have taught our kids that when someone apologizes to them they should say in return ‘i forgive you’ rather than ‘it’s okay’ because it completes the repent/forgive process.

    thanks for the timely reminder.

    blessings,

    alison
    stuff and nonsense

    Reply
  9. Sarah @ Modern Country Style says

    March 7, 2011 at 2:21 PM

    This is so true. It’s so easy to say for bumping into someone….and then hard to say when it’s more important.

    Sarahx

    Reply
  10. Val says

    March 7, 2011 at 5:45 PM

    Great post!! I teach my children to say sorry and I for the most part when I’m wrong say I’m sorry…except……..when it comes to my husband it’s always for hard for me to tell him. HMM, lol

    Reply
  11. Anita says

    March 8, 2011 at 3:26 AM

    Heather, that is so perfect!! I have been there for sure. It’s amazing what happens when I just change my attitude and say it meaning it.

    Reply
  12. Jodi says

    March 8, 2011 at 3:29 AM

    What a wonderful post. Its so true that its easy to apologize to a stranger, but your husband? A million times more diffcult, yet so much more meaningful to him than the random stranger you muttered “I’m sorry” to. Thank you for writing this. I will remember it the next time I need to say those words!
    I am your newest follower.

    Reply
  13. Anonymous says

    March 8, 2011 at 4:35 PM

    Thank you, your “I am sorry” post made a really bad day a great one.
    Thanks.
    S

    Reply
  14. thatsmyjob says

    March 8, 2011 at 8:36 PM

    Great reminder Heather……but can I say, “I’m sorry that you did this”…or “sorry that you made me mad”….or “sorry that you are wrong?” ; ) Just teasing…..true grace…got it. Thank you for the reminder to even us the parents and adults. Love, Me
    http://www.youaretalkingtoomuch.com

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recipe Rating




Primary Sidebar

Search This Blog

Get the book!

Invite Vanessa to speak at your event!

Stay updated!

  • A New Look for the Family Room

    A New Look for the Family Room
  • Honey Tea Cake Loaf with Lemon Glaze

    Honey Tea Cake Loaf with Lemon Glaze
  • The Slow Exit

    The Slow Exit
  • Honed Quartzite Kitchen Counters Reveal

    Honed Quartzite Kitchen Counters Reveal

Sign Up and Never Miss A Post!

Must Reads

Latest Recipes

Honey Tea Cake Loaf with Lemon Glaze

Apple Bread Pudding

Grandma’s Banana Bread

view more recent recipes

Recent Posts

  • Winter Decorating Ideas January 27, 2023
  • Nostalgic Christmas Home Tour December 10, 2022
  • Vintage Inspired Hot Cocoa Bar November 21, 2022
  • Autumn Home Decor Tour October 7, 2022
  • Built In Shelving Makeover in Family Room August 31, 2022

Footer

Stay Connected!

Instagram

I just went to make my mid-morning protein shake a I just went to make my mid-morning protein shake and grabbed a banana out of the freezer and was about to put it into my shake before I realized it was a frozen egg roll. Sooooo that's how my day is going so far! 🤪How about you?

It's honestly fairly representative of my state of mind these days as I can't seem to make the date on the calendar match the date in my spirit because it feels like it should be January 45th. Every year this month drags on and every year it seems to surprise me for some reason. In addition, my heart just feels heavy as I witness a lot of darkness and sadness around me. So, I'm choosing to control what I can control by making my house feel as cozy as possible, relishing the sunshine whenever it dares to peek through the clouds, gathering inspiration for warmer weather projects and, most importantly, resting in the comfort of the sovereignty of my Father.

“God’s voice thunders in marvelous ways; he does great things beyond our understanding. He says to the snow, ‘Fall on the earth,’ and to the rain shower, ‘Be a mighty downpour.’ So that everyone he has made may know his work..." Job 37:5-7
What if you could do something at the beginning of What if you could do something at the beginning of your day that would be a gift to yourself later on? That’s what we’re talking about on this week’s Tip Tuesday! #tiptuesday
The sun decided to make another appearance today! The sun decided to make another appearance today! It’s been such a lovely Sunday. Chocolate croissants for breakfast followed by church then naps/football/reading/etc and soon we’ll be heading out to dinner with friends. These are my favorite kind of weekends. Hope yours has been lovely too! 🌿
Yesterday was stormy and cold but today the sunshi Yesterday was stormy and cold but today the sunshine is breaking through the fog and my house just seems happier. We definitely needed to see that light streaming in through the windows and it’s a gift I don’t take for granted.

And yes, there are still twinkle lights on my mantle because those help when the sunshine goes away again. ✨
Happy weekend! The rainy and gloomy weather here i Happy weekend! The rainy and gloomy weather here in the Willamette Valley has me feeling less frustrated about my migraine forcing me to just snuggle up indoors and these flowers in my kitchen are lifting my spirits. What are you up to on this holiday weekend?
It’s time for TIP TUESDAY! This week, I’m offe It’s time for TIP TUESDAY! This week, I’m offering a gentle reminder from my own parenting experience after feeling my heart pricked with conviction about what was waiting for my daughter every day after school. I hope it will encourage you! 🌿#tiptuesday
The day after Christmas I found myself laundering The day after Christmas I found myself laundering and folding all of the linens we used the previous night as we hosted my husband's side of the family for dinner and other festivities. As I laid out each cloth napkin and folded them one by one, I couldn't help but be struck by what a simple, yet meaningful, task it was. It's such an honor and privilege to be the hostess and, at this stage of my life, I realize that this has almost one hundred percent become my role now. Our parents are in their 70's and have either downsized significantly or simply don't have the energy to take on hosting duties for a large group. I could resent this. I could feel overwhelmed by it. But, instead, I'm choosing to embrace it knowing that, someday, I too will pass the hosting torch and I hope that I will be welcomed with love and attentiveness. So, I fold the linen napkins, taking pleasure in the way all of the creases line up and how neat and tidy they look in the drawer of my dining room buffet. These seemingly simple chores are part of the lifeblood of homemaking and my attitude towards them can either be one of gratefulness or grumbly-ness (yes, I'm making up words now). 

And I’m choosing gratefulness. 

“This job has been given to me to do. Therefore, it is a gift. Therefore, it is a privilege. Therefore, it is an offering I may make to God. Therefore, it is to be done gladly, if it is done for Him. Here, not somewhere else, I may learn God’s way. In this job, not in some other, God looks for faithfulness.” (Elisabeth Elliot⁣)
Welcome to Tip Tuesday! I’m so excited to be kic Welcome to Tip Tuesday! I’m so excited to be kicking off the year with a brand new series! Each weekly installment will feature a tip for everything from your home to faith to parenting to family life and so much more. My goal for 2023 is to have far more personal interaction with this community while continuing on with the mission of weaving together all things heart and home. I hope you enjoy this first tip and I’d love to hear from you about whether or not you decorate for winter! 
#tiptuesday #organizing #winterdecorating
“He has made everything beautiful in its time. H “He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” 

Here’s to beginnings. Happy new year friends! May you experience the majesty and sovereignty of the Lord in 2023 like never before! ✨
Oh how I love this week each year! It’s my favor Oh how I love this week each year! It’s my favorite for sure. Everything is still festive and decorated but there’s none of the stress of the cooking and wrapping and making preparations. It’s the week where we get to take everything slowly and simply enjoy being together while the house still has twinkling lights and we can just be cozy.

What about you? How will you be spending this week? ✨
Load More... Follow
Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2023 · Divine theme by Restored 316

Copyright © 2023 At The Picket Fence