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At The Picket Fence with Vanessa Hunt

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June 5, 2018

The End of a Season

It wasn’t too long ago that I was publicly bemoaning the fact that May is the busiest month of the year. And I know I’m not alone in thinking this. All over social media, my fellow moms of school-aged children were commiserating with each other and offering solidarity as we all wondered why on earth so much is crammed into one single, solitary month.

But, as I now suddenly find myself in the month of June, I’m looking back on the insanity of the previous month and realizing that perhaps it served a greater purpose.

Because, just as we are entering a new season of the year, I am entering a new season of motherhood.

Last week, my youngest child completed her elementary school education. That means, we are officially no longer apart of the ‘little kid’ community.

No more pumpkin patch field trips. No more walking her into her classroom, enjoying those rare moments when she would actually still let me hold her hand. No more sweet school concerts where the kindergarten class is sure to provide us with some hilarious antics for extra entertainment. No more arriving early enough for school pickup to observe her running around on the playground with her friends.

As I watched my beautiful (inside and out!) girl walk across the platform to receive her promotion certificate, it felt as though the clock of my life just went ‘thunk’ and moved us right into the next time period whether we were ready for it or not. And, we weren’t ready for it.

Of course, it didn’t help matters that less than a week later, my oldest child was promoted from middle school. Full disclosure; there were many days over the past three years that I wondered if we would survive. But, then there he was. Tall, handsome, wearing clothes from the men’s department and size 11 1/2 shoes.

It’s the end of an era for us. Come Autumn, our oldest will enter high school and our youngest will enter middle school and I’m left feeling quite betwixt and between.

I have this vivid memory that stands out from my early years of motherhood. I remember taking my then three year old son for a walk around the neighborhood right after it had rained. He gleefully jumped in puddles watching as his little fireman rain boots splashed water everywhere. And, as we walked, me holding his tiny hand in mine, I closed my eyes for the briefest of moments and inhaled as deeply as I could, then held my breath for a moment. I prayed right then and there, “Lord help me to never forget how this feels.” I wished that I could bottle it up. The softness of his skin, the sparkle in his eyes as he lunged for the next puddle, the sweet smell of spring air.

I had only been a mother for a few short years and yet I knew. Or, at least I thought I knew. I thought I knew how quickly it was going to all go by. But, friends, its gone faster than I could ever have imagined that day as I stood there on the sidewalk with my three year old praying for that moment to last forever.

So, maybe the busyness of May was a gift. A blessing disguised as a crammed calendar. Maybe it spared me from too much time spent thinking about and grieving over the end of this season. Because, I can’t go back to last month. I can’t go back to last season. No amount of wishing for it to all slow down will actually make it go by more slowly.

I’ve never been one to embrace change easily. (If my family is reading this it’s safe to assume they are laughing their heads off at the gross understatement of that last sentence!)

And yet, in recent years, I feel like God has increased my capacity for being in the ‘now’. My melancholy tendencies towards looking back have given way to a greater ability to just simply be in the present season. And maybe that’s one of the most wonderfully surprising gifts of this stage of motherhood. Because, by now, I’m all too fully aware that it goes by faster than we can imagine. But, there are many parenting years still ahead. So I’m learning to exist in that tension between knowing it’s going to go quickly and yet not having the luxury of too much time to dwell on that fact because I’m too busy still being in the thick of it all.

 

So, as one season slips into the next and then the next and then the next, my heart’s desire is that even if I don’t always happily welcome them with open arms, I will graciously accept their inevitability.

And I will choose to make the most out of all of the joy and the beauty and the memory-making potential that each new season holds for me and will only occasionally glance back over my shoulder at the seasons behind me, if only for a moment, to marvel at how far we’ve come.

7 Comments Filed Under: Faith, Family

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Comments

  1. ROSE says

    June 6, 2018 at 1:00 AM

    Changes in life bring a flurry of emotions and experiences. Still now, in my 60s, I am going through changes in my life that have brought new experiences, feelings, joys and love.

    Reply
  2. Cindy Barganier says

    June 6, 2018 at 5:19 AM

    Vanessa, I have often said this about the Senior year… which you haven’t sampled yet. The first half of the year is so intolerably gut wrenching with the last this and the last that and you have cried a million tears and had about as much sentimentality as you can stand. Then Christmas hits and as soon as they get back to school the crazy schedule hits with the parties and the pictures and the measuring for caps and gowns etc etc etc. By the time you make it to graduation you are like… OK! enough already. Let’s just get this over with. LOL I really do believe it is God’s way of preparing Mama’s heart to push that little bird out of the nest. It helps.

    Reply
  3. Marilyn says

    June 6, 2018 at 4:18 PM

    Congratulations to your son and daughter on entering a new school. They will have new adventures to enjoy. it is sad to leave elementary school behind. Have a Blessed and safe Summer.
    Marilyn

    Reply
  4. Yvonne Chavez says

    June 7, 2018 at 9:44 AM

    Thank you for this timely reminder of how quickly things change. Being in the midst of my own crazy I was feeling a bit grumpy, but after reading your post I’m ready to tackle today with a big smile

    Reply
  5. Danna says

    June 7, 2018 at 12:59 PM

    How I wish I could turn back the clock. Our oldest granddaughter just graduated from high school Saturday and it was so hard for me to see her grow up. It seems like just yesterday she was telling me she wanted to live with us forever and ever because she loved to come over and play without her sisters bothering her. Now she’s moving onto play volleyball in college and get her physical therapy degree. Everything she has accomplished she has worked very hard for it and we couldn’t be more proud of her. Next year will be her sister graduating and her other sister the following year. They grew up so fast and I’m still not ready to let them become adults. But I’m just the grandma so I don’t have the say so lol.
    Enjoy every minute your son is in high school because it does go by way to fast.

    Reply
  6. Lisa Mothersead says

    June 13, 2018 at 5:36 PM

    My youngest (25/graduate student) left home yesterday. She was gone in college and so I have been an empty nester before. But, this time it certainly feels more permanent. Our oldest daughter is settled hours away. I can tell you that, for me, it feels unlike any other emotion I’ve ever felt. But, this is what we do. We raise them and let them go. It does feel good to know we did our best and a darn good job. They were a priority. No regrets.

    Reply
  7. Shirley @Housepitality Design s says

    June 14, 2018 at 12:52 PM

    I remember that day too…however, what hit me the hardest was the last day of his Senior year…knowing that soon he would be leaving the nest. But thinking back, it was the day of a new adventure as many before and the many joys that have come since that day.

    Reply

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Yesterday on the way home from school I had the ra Yesterday on the way home from school I had the radio tuned to my daughter's favorite station and a song that was playing had a line in it that really stood out to me. It made reference to a 'season of the sticks' which I think its safe to say must mean winter. I thought that was such an accurate, albeiet kind of depressing, picture of this time of the year.

While we definitely have more than our fair share of evergreen trees here in Oregon, we also have plenty of trees and bushes that are reduced to sticks during the cold months. But, this morning as I looked out my kitchen window, greedily sipping from my mug of coffee, I marveled at the beauty of the winter sunrise. The sky was all pinks and oranges with frost on the rooftops and a little bit of fog. And, I realized that part of why it was so amazing is because I could see it more clearly through the sticks. The bare branches allowed me a view that I wouldn't be able to see if those same branches were covered in leaves. Being stripped down to almost nothing revealed something magnificent.

We have seasons of the sticks in our lives too, don't we? Times when we feel as though we've been stripped bare and left exposed. It's easy to think that this is a place where all is ugly and dark. And yet, just like the winter sunrise was more visible because of the bare branches, the vulnerability we feel in the winter season of our souls allows us to get a glimpse of beauty that we wouldn't see otherwise. In the lush, warm seasons it's so easy to become comfortable. But in the bare, cold seasons we recognize just how much we need to rely on the One who placed the stars in the heavens and is sovereign over all.

If you feel like your soul has been stripped bare and you've been left exposed and vulnerable, may I encourage you today to ask the Lord to help you to see the beauty in this 'season of the sticks'.

“Answer me quickly, O Lord! My spirit fails! Hide not your face from me, lest I be like those who go down to the pit. Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust. Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul." Psalm 143:7
I just went to make my mid-morning protein shake a I just went to make my mid-morning protein shake and grabbed a banana out of the freezer and was about to put it into my shake before I realized it was a frozen egg roll. Sooooo that's how my day is going so far! 🤪How about you?

It's honestly fairly representative of my state of mind these days as I can't seem to make the date on the calendar match the date in my spirit because it feels like it should be January 45th. Every year this month drags on and every year it seems to surprise me for some reason. In addition, my heart just feels heavy as I witness a lot of darkness and sadness around me. So, I'm choosing to control what I can control by making my house feel as cozy as possible, relishing the sunshine whenever it dares to peek through the clouds, gathering inspiration for warmer weather projects and, most importantly, resting in the comfort of the sovereignty of my Father.

“God’s voice thunders in marvelous ways; he does great things beyond our understanding. He says to the snow, ‘Fall on the earth,’ and to the rain shower, ‘Be a mighty downpour.’ So that everyone he has made may know his work..." Job 37:5-7
What if you could do something at the beginning of What if you could do something at the beginning of your day that would be a gift to yourself later on? That’s what we’re talking about on this week’s Tip Tuesday! #tiptuesday
The sun decided to make another appearance today! The sun decided to make another appearance today! It’s been such a lovely Sunday. Chocolate croissants for breakfast followed by church then naps/football/reading/etc and soon we’ll be heading out to dinner with friends. These are my favorite kind of weekends. Hope yours has been lovely too! 🌿
Yesterday was stormy and cold but today the sunshi Yesterday was stormy and cold but today the sunshine is breaking through the fog and my house just seems happier. We definitely needed to see that light streaming in through the windows and it’s a gift I don’t take for granted.

And yes, there are still twinkle lights on my mantle because those help when the sunshine goes away again. ✨
Happy weekend! The rainy and gloomy weather here i Happy weekend! The rainy and gloomy weather here in the Willamette Valley has me feeling less frustrated about my migraine forcing me to just snuggle up indoors and these flowers in my kitchen are lifting my spirits. What are you up to on this holiday weekend?
It’s time for TIP TUESDAY! This week, I’m offe It’s time for TIP TUESDAY! This week, I’m offering a gentle reminder from my own parenting experience after feeling my heart pricked with conviction about what was waiting for my daughter every day after school. I hope it will encourage you! 🌿#tiptuesday
The day after Christmas I found myself laundering The day after Christmas I found myself laundering and folding all of the linens we used the previous night as we hosted my husband's side of the family for dinner and other festivities. As I laid out each cloth napkin and folded them one by one, I couldn't help but be struck by what a simple, yet meaningful, task it was. It's such an honor and privilege to be the hostess and, at this stage of my life, I realize that this has almost one hundred percent become my role now. Our parents are in their 70's and have either downsized significantly or simply don't have the energy to take on hosting duties for a large group. I could resent this. I could feel overwhelmed by it. But, instead, I'm choosing to embrace it knowing that, someday, I too will pass the hosting torch and I hope that I will be welcomed with love and attentiveness. So, I fold the linen napkins, taking pleasure in the way all of the creases line up and how neat and tidy they look in the drawer of my dining room buffet. These seemingly simple chores are part of the lifeblood of homemaking and my attitude towards them can either be one of gratefulness or grumbly-ness (yes, I'm making up words now). 

And I’m choosing gratefulness. 

“This job has been given to me to do. Therefore, it is a gift. Therefore, it is a privilege. Therefore, it is an offering I may make to God. Therefore, it is to be done gladly, if it is done for Him. Here, not somewhere else, I may learn God’s way. In this job, not in some other, God looks for faithfulness.” (Elisabeth Elliot⁣)
Welcome to Tip Tuesday! I’m so excited to be kic Welcome to Tip Tuesday! I’m so excited to be kicking off the year with a brand new series! Each weekly installment will feature a tip for everything from your home to faith to parenting to family life and so much more. My goal for 2023 is to have far more personal interaction with this community while continuing on with the mission of weaving together all things heart and home. I hope you enjoy this first tip and I’d love to hear from you about whether or not you decorate for winter! 
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“He has made everything beautiful in its time. H “He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” 

Here’s to beginnings. Happy new year friends! May you experience the majesty and sovereignty of the Lord in 2023 like never before! ✨
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