• Home
  • Privacy Policy
  • Contact
    • Collaborate
  • Blog
  • Parties
    • Children’s Parties Ideas
    • Holiday Parties
    • Adult Party Ideas
  • Holiday Ideas
    • Christmas
    • Easter
    • Fourth of July
    • Spring
    • Thanksgiving
    • Valentine’s Day
  • Seasons
    • Winter
    • Spring
    • Summer
    • Autumn
  • Recipes
    • Appetizers
    • Beverages
    • Desserts
    • Main Dishes
    • Side Dishes
    • Soups
  • Project Gallery
    • Crafts
    • Decorating
    • DIY
    • Good Ideas
    • Tutorials
  • Shop My Home
  • Nav Social Menu

    • Bloglovin
    • Email
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter

At The Picket Fence with Vanessa Hunt

Where Ideas for your Home Meet Inspiration for your Heart

  • Book
  • Speaking
  • Meet Vanessa
    • Featured

April 15, 2016

The Peace-Filled Home Part 4

I’ve often wished that it didn’t take experiencing the hard things in life for me to grow as a person. I mean, wouldn’t it be so much nicer if depth could be added to our souls while we lie on the beach sipping margaritas? But the only divine revelation I’m likely to have in that scenario is that I need to take a nap. The reality for most of us is that it’s only when we walk through really challenging seasons that we come to a greater understanding of who we are….the good, the bad and the downright ugly.

the peace filled home series from atthepicketfence.com

As I mentioned in The Peace-Filled Home Part 3, I’ve reached a point in my life where I can declare that I am a recovering peace-faker. And the reason that I use the word ‘recovering’ is because all of us tend to fall back into our default modes from time to time. While I now consider myself to have made great strides towards being a peace-maker, I will always struggle with erring on the side of being a peace-faker. And some of you will always struggle with erring on the side of being a peace-breaker. It all goes back to our tendencies.

Getting to the place where I can finally say that I’m a peace-maker has not been easy. I used to think that experiencing peace in my life had more to do with my external circumstances, the things that were happening on the peripheral, than it did with my own heart. For me, having peace in my life was more dependent on the choices of others and how those choices impacted me. I had yet to learn that peace was something I could experience in spite of what was happening around me.

Peace is not the same as happiness quote

The word striving could be best used to describe the way I spent most of my life. I find the definition of this word so fascinating because it could not possibly be a more accurate picture of how this manifested itself in my world.

Striving: make great efforts to achieve or obtain something; struggle or fight vigorously

I’m a people-pleasing perfectionist. Which basically means I expect a lot from myself and never want to give anyone a reason not to like me or to be disappointed in me. Good times! Ugh.

And when this translated into my walk with the Lord, it twisted and warped the way I understood His plans for me. In my mind, right choices would equal a right life. I can hear you chuckling to yourself because you know where this is going, don’t you? 😉

I could say that this worked pretty well for awhile but the truth is that while it might have seemed that way on the outside, in my heart I think I knew that I was only scratching the surface of the depth of grace and mercy that God was offering me. But, until my early 20’s, my ‘right’ choices seemed to actually equal a ‘right’ life. I was a ‘good’ girl. I was a ‘good’ student. I worked hard, studied hard, didn’t play too hard. You get the picture. I met an amazing guy and we got married soon after college. We had good jobs, made a good income and bought a good first home. And for awhile it seemed that my ‘right choices=right life’ approach was going to continue working. But then we encountered a challenge. We struggled with infertility and the grief involved when you reach the point of realizing that you will never have biological children. And suddenly ‘right choices=right life’ equation wasn’t working out. Because here was something that I had absolutely NO control over.

And I was presented with an opportunity. An opportunity to see this as not simply something to be ‘gotten through’ but as a way to add a depth to my relationship with the Lord and my relationships with others.

You see, I believe that when we encounter challenges, we often miss the full purpose of them in our lives.

“The reason why many are still troubled, still seeking, still making little forward progress, is because they haven’t come to the end of themselves. We’re still trying to give orders, and interfering in God’s work within us. “ ~ A.W. Tozer

It was really only when I came to the end of myself that I was willing to open my heart to the work God wanted to do in it. And it’s a work I think many of us skip over when we are faced with difficulties. It’s been said so often in our culture that we go through hard things in life so that we can help others when they encounter hard things in life. But, I think there is so much more to it than that.

I often say that when I’m faced with a challenge I feel like God is adding insult to my injury. Because, what I’ve found to be true is that in the midst of all of the pain and the grief and the heartache He asks me if I’m willing to allow Him to reveal to me some areas of my heart that aren’t very pretty. Maybe even areas that are sinful. Sin isn’t something we seem to like talking about these days. And we definitely don’t like talking about it when all we want to do is be comforted in our pain. But, I have found that God doesn’t seem to care a whole lot about my comfort. What He cares about is a heart that reflects His character.

And perhaps, it’s really only the painful situations that strip us bare and take our hearts to a place where we can actually see the sin in our lives.

Comfort and character

For me, this meant that as I dug through the layers of my pain one of the big things that was revealed to me was my deep need for control. If I could control everything (and everyone!) around me then I felt more stable, more secure. But here was this thing that I had zero control over and I had to come to terms with how much this sinful area in my life was affecting me. I had to locate the root of it. I had to dig it out and toss it away so that new, healthy life could grow in it’s place.

If a peace-filled home begins with a peace-filled heart, then we need to be willing to ask God to reveal to us the areas that need some weeding. Because one way or another we WILL be made aware of them. It’s pretty much a guarantee that you will encounter problems in this life. “In the world you will have trouble but take heart, I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)

But simply being aware of our troubles isn’t enough. We have to be willing to let those weeds be yanked and tugged and dug up by their roots. And if you don’t? Oh friends, you will be missing out on so much!

cherry blossoms

I firmly believe that I now have all of the things in my life that I never realized I needed. It’s messy and beautiful and hard and precious. There are complicated relationships and so many more things that I have no control over. But, all of those years ago as a 20-something when I encountered such pain and heartache, I took the opportunity God was giving me to let the necessary weeding be done in my heart so that I could be prepared for something even more amazing than I could have imagined.

And now, I understand that a peace-filled heart only comes when it beats in tune with the heart of it’s Creator. And it’s the overflow of my peace-filled heart which will create a peace-filled home.

In the next installment of this series, I’m going to share some practical ways that you can begin to create a more peaceful home.

But, in the meantime, I’d love to hear your thoughts on how your heart and your home are intertwined and whether or not any of this strikes a chord with you.

I’m so glad you stopped by to meet me at the Fence today!

Vanessa signature

8 Comments Filed Under: Devotionals, Faith, Good Thoughts Tagged With: devotional, Faith, God

Subscribe

Get the latest goodness straight to your inbox!

Previous Post: « Aged Galvanized Metal Tray
Next Post: My Snowball Tree Love Story »

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Gwen says

    April 16, 2016 at 2:03 AM

    I have not been able to read parts 1–3, so I’ll respond to today’s. Yes. It struck a chord. Each of us are given a message. These things I have spoken unto you. That in me you might have peace. In the world you shall have tribulation but be of good cheer –but take heart–for I have overcome the world. John 16:33
    This hardship in my life? Maybe not to point out sin but to teach me faith at a next step and another difficulty I go up another step. If an outsider were to read the heartaches and physical junk and losses and such of both my husband of me and my brain damage and then a stroke and so much more for him–the world would not comprehend.
    But God is not cruel. We have declared our faith in Christ even more as the trials hurl our way. I so want others to see Jesus through the broken body and broken life I have. Not pity. And this verse became a treasure several years ago when we thought it couldn’t get worse and it’s gotten much much worse. But be of good cheer–take heart–and I wait Jesus’ big message for me in deep times of hardship. Oh my Good Shepherd says to me I have overcome the world. I need not fear. I’m afraid Lord. But He says Be of GOOD cheer. Take heart. He has overcome this world. Jesus has defeated this old world. I will put my trust in the Lord and have peace for tomorrow. Disappointed? Yes. Sad? Yes. Weary? At times. Yet I’m a child of the King and promised His love. Hallelujah!!!!

    Reply
  2. Michelle says

    April 16, 2016 at 6:33 AM

    Did it ever strike a cord! I could hear ever wire being plucked on the harp. Thank you for sharing.

    Reply
  3. Melanie says

    April 17, 2016 at 5:04 PM

    Yes! I am actually reading a book on choosing joy, and what it says fits in to your post. It is often the sorrowful, dark times when God does his work.

    Reply
  4. Cassandra E says

    April 18, 2016 at 8:43 AM

    I’ve been thinking on this since I first read it. It all resonates with me. I had many of the same thoughts you’ve had. I’ve been completely derailed. But what really hit home is stepping beyond the insult to injury, and sitting with a little more discomfort as I allow him to sanctify me. I’m super resistant to the idea that all bad things happen because of our personal choices, (which I do not think is what you are saying), but you’ve been able to get me to step outside of that and realize there is still a work to be done. For me! How liberating! My home is pretty peaceful, but I think it could be so much more peaceful as I lay some things down.
    Thank you!

    Reply
  5. Jo Anne says

    April 18, 2016 at 5:52 PM

    Wow. That was beautiful, just beautiful

    Reply
  6. Katy says

    May 2, 2016 at 7:36 PM

    This was beautiful. Thank you for reminding me of Gods Grace.

    Reply
    • At The Picket Fence says

      May 2, 2016 at 8:10 PM

      Thank you so much Katy!

      Reply

Trackbacks

  1. A Case of the Aprils - Unskinny Boppy says:
    April 16, 2016 at 8:43 AM

    […] The Peace Filled Home Series by my friend Vanessa from At The Picket Fence: […]

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Recipe Rating




Primary Sidebar

Search This Blog

Get the book!

Invite Vanessa to speak at your event!

Stay updated!

  • A New Look for the Family Room

    A New Look for the Family Room
  • Honey Tea Cake Loaf with Lemon Glaze

    Honey Tea Cake Loaf with Lemon Glaze
  • The Slow Exit

    The Slow Exit
  • Honed Quartzite Kitchen Counters Reveal

    Honed Quartzite Kitchen Counters Reveal

Sign Up and Never Miss A Post!

Must Reads

Latest Recipes

Honey Tea Cake Loaf with Lemon Glaze

Apple Bread Pudding

Grandma’s Banana Bread

view more recent recipes

Recent Posts

  • Winter Decorating Ideas January 27, 2023
  • Nostalgic Christmas Home Tour December 10, 2022
  • Vintage Inspired Hot Cocoa Bar November 21, 2022
  • Autumn Home Decor Tour October 7, 2022
  • Built In Shelving Makeover in Family Room August 31, 2022

Footer

Stay Connected!

Instagram

It’s time again for Tip Tuesday! Would you belie It’s time again for Tip Tuesday! Would you believe that a few years ago I found a sock in our pantry? Yes, a sock. Just there on the shelf next to the cereal. But did it stress me out? Nope! We got a good laugh out of it especially after it was claimed by its owner (my teenage son) and it was a reminder to me of why the daily mayhem of life doesn’t overwhelm me because I’ve already established areas in my home that remain clutter free and offer me a visual exhale. #tiptuesday
Yesterday on the way home from school I had the ra Yesterday on the way home from school I had the radio tuned to my daughter's favorite station and a song that was playing had a line in it that really stood out to me. It made reference to a 'season of the sticks' which I think its safe to say must mean winter. I thought that was such an accurate, albeiet kind of depressing, picture of this time of the year.While we definitely have more than our fair share of evergreen trees here in Oregon, we also have plenty of trees and bushes that are reduced to sticks during the cold months. But, this morning as I looked out my kitchen window, greedily sipping from my mug of coffee, I marveled at the beauty of the winter sunrise. The sky was all pinks and oranges with frost on the rooftops and a little bit of fog. And, I realized that part of why it was so amazing is because I could see it more clearly through the sticks. The bare branches allowed me a view that I wouldn't be able to see if those same branches were covered in leaves. Being stripped down to almost nothing revealed something magnificent.We have seasons of the sticks in our lives too, don't we? Times when we feel as though we've been stripped bare and left exposed. It's easy to think that this is a place where all is ugly and dark. And yet, just like the winter sunrise was more visible because of the bare branches, the vulnerability we feel in the winter season of our souls allows us to get a glimpse of beauty that we wouldn't see otherwise. In the lush, warm seasons it's so easy to become comfortable. But in the bare, cold seasons we recognize just how much we need to rely on the One who placed the stars in the heavens and is sovereign over all.If you feel like your soul has been stripped bare and you've been left exposed and vulnerable, may I encourage you today to ask the Lord to help you to see the beauty in this 'season of the sticks'.“Answer me quickly, O Lord! My spirit fails! Hide not your face from me, lest I be like those who go down to the pit. Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love, for in you I trust. Make me know the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul." Psalm 143:7
I just went to make my mid-morning protein shake a I just went to make my mid-morning protein shake and grabbed a banana out of the freezer and was about to put it into my shake before I realized it was a frozen egg roll. Sooooo that's how my day is going so far! 🤪How about you?It's honestly fairly representative of my state of mind these days as I can't seem to make the date on the calendar match the date in my spirit because it feels like it should be January 45th. Every year this month drags on and every year it seems to surprise me for some reason. In addition, my heart just feels heavy as I witness a lot of darkness and sadness around me. So, I'm choosing to control what I can control by making my house feel as cozy as possible, relishing the sunshine whenever it dares to peek through the clouds, gathering inspiration for warmer weather projects and, most importantly, resting in the comfort of the sovereignty of my Father.“God’s voice thunders in marvelous ways; he does great things beyond our understanding. He says to the snow, ‘Fall on the earth,’ and to the rain shower, ‘Be a mighty downpour.’ So that everyone he has made may know his work..." Job 37:5-7
What if you could do something at the beginning of What if you could do something at the beginning of your day that would be a gift to yourself later on? That’s what we’re talking about on this week’s Tip Tuesday! #tiptuesday
The sun decided to make another appearance today! The sun decided to make another appearance today! It’s been such a lovely Sunday. Chocolate croissants for breakfast followed by church then naps/football/reading/etc and soon we’ll be heading out to dinner with friends. These are my favorite kind of weekends. Hope yours has been lovely too! 🌿
Yesterday was stormy and cold but today the sunshi Yesterday was stormy and cold but today the sunshine is breaking through the fog and my house just seems happier. We definitely needed to see that light streaming in through the windows and it’s a gift I don’t take for granted.And yes, there are still twinkle lights on my mantle because those help when the sunshine goes away again. ✨
Happy weekend! The rainy and gloomy weather here i Happy weekend! The rainy and gloomy weather here in the Willamette Valley has me feeling less frustrated about my migraine forcing me to just snuggle up indoors and these flowers in my kitchen are lifting my spirits. What are you up to on this holiday weekend?
It’s time for TIP TUESDAY! This week, I’m offe It’s time for TIP TUESDAY! This week, I’m offering a gentle reminder from my own parenting experience after feeling my heart pricked with conviction about what was waiting for my daughter every day after school. I hope it will encourage you! 🌿#tiptuesday
The day after Christmas I found myself laundering The day after Christmas I found myself laundering and folding all of the linens we used the previous night as we hosted my husband's side of the family for dinner and other festivities. As I laid out each cloth napkin and folded them one by one, I couldn't help but be struck by what a simple, yet meaningful, task it was. It's such an honor and privilege to be the hostess and, at this stage of my life, I realize that this has almost one hundred percent become my role now. Our parents are in their 70's and have either downsized significantly or simply don't have the energy to take on hosting duties for a large group. I could resent this. I could feel overwhelmed by it. But, instead, I'm choosing to embrace it knowing that, someday, I too will pass the hosting torch and I hope that I will be welcomed with love and attentiveness. So, I fold the linen napkins, taking pleasure in the way all of the creases line up and how neat and tidy they look in the drawer of my dining room buffet. These seemingly simple chores are part of the lifeblood of homemaking and my attitude towards them can either be one of gratefulness or grumbly-ness (yes, I'm making up words now).And I’m choosing gratefulness.“This job has been given to me to do. Therefore, it is a gift. Therefore, it is a privilege. Therefore, it is an offering I may make to God. Therefore, it is to be done gladly, if it is done for Him. Here, not somewhere else, I may learn God’s way. In this job, not in some other, God looks for faithfulness.” (Elisabeth Elliot⁣)
Welcome to Tip Tuesday! I’m so excited to be kic Welcome to Tip Tuesday! I’m so excited to be kicking off the year with a brand new series! Each weekly installment will feature a tip for everything from your home to faith to parenting to family life and so much more. My goal for 2023 is to have far more personal interaction with this community while continuing on with the mission of weaving together all things heart and home. I hope you enjoy this first tip and I’d love to hear from you about whether or not you decorate for winter!
#tiptuesday #organizing #winterdecorating
Load More... Follow
Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2023 · Divine theme by Restored 316

Copyright © 2023 At The Picket Fence