Today is my 40th birthday.
And I’m not exactly sure how I’m supposed to feel about it. My son on the other hand knows exactly how he feels about it. Because for the last few weeks every time I ask him to repeat what he said or mention that some part of my body is hurting or make a comment about a particular pop song I detest he is very quick to reply, “Well, mom, you ARE turning 40!”, which to a 12 year old means I basically have one foot in the grave. It can’t be that the reason I had to ask him to repeat what he said is because he mumbles or that I banged my knee on the car door and that is why it hurts or that the pop song I detest really IS horrible. Nope, it must be that I’m old.
At my hair appointment this week my stylist told me that she was shocked that I was turning 40 and that she thought I looked like I was around 32. But I tip her really well so I’m not sure how much she can be trusted. š
One of my best friends also turns 40 next week which means that it is at the top of the list of topics we have been discussing lately. And in one of these conversations I happened to mention to her that when you get right down to it, we are technically going into our 41st year. That we’ve already actually lived our 40th year on planet Earth.Ā She informed me that she didn’t exactly appreciate this reminder.
I, on the other hand, felt a strange sense of comfort in this realization. Somehow knowing that I’ve already lived my 40th year takes a little bit of the sting out of what can so often be a very depressing milestone in life.
Because, you see, my 40th year was amazing!
In the 40th year of my life I had incredible, BIG dreams come true. I signed a publishing contract for a multi-book deal and still cannot believe that God opened that door for us. You can read more about that here.
In the 40th year of my life I was featured in Better Homes & Gardens magazine. (Ok so technically it was the January issue but it hit newsstands in December so that still counts!)
In the 40th year of my life I had wonderful opportunities to speak and teach both locally and at out of state conferences.
In the 40th year of my life my faith was taken to new depths and I was challenged more than ever before.
In the 40th year of my life, I faced more parenting challenges than ever before as we entered into the middle school years. I spent a good deal of time wanting to just curl up in the fetal position but instead had to learn algebra all over again so I could help my son with his homework. There was more eye-rolling, arguing, door slamming, and “you guys are the worst parents for taking away my electronic privileges even though I got an F for not turning in the paper I claim to have lost but you magically found in the bottom of my backpack” moments than ever before. Good times.
In the 40th year of my life, I suffered from paralyzing and frightening writer’s block which made me question whether or not anyone should have ever offered me a book deal.
In the 40th year of my life I stared down deep insecurities and worked very hard to weed them from my heart.
In the 40th year of my life, I experienced the beauty of true friendship like never before. It was real and raw and vulnerable and honest and I thank God every day for the amazing women I can claim as friends.
In the 40th year of my life, I learned to let go of things that I won’t ever be able to change and relationships that might never be whole. I traded my need to be right for my need to be redeemed.
Now, I know what you’re thinking…ummmm…Vanessa….this doesn’t all sound so amazing. Some it sounds fantastic but some of it sounds really hard.
But, here is the truth that was really solidified for me in my 40th year. It really is all amazing. ALL of it. Because one day there’s a book deal and the very next day there’s a struggling pre-teen. One day there’s a feature in a national magazine and the next day there is a friend’s cancer diagnosis. And sometimes the high-highs and the low-lows all happen in the same day.
And I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
Because as I go into my 41st year of life, I’m more certain than ever that no matter what happens, my foundation isn’t in the things of this earth. It’s not in the magazine features or the book writing. It’s not even in the really painful situations.
1 John 2:17 says, “Never give your hearts to this world or to any of the things in it. A man cannot love the Father and love the world at the same time. For the whole world-system, based as it is on menās primitive desires, their greedy ambitions and the glamour of all that they think splendid, is not derived from the Father at all, but from the world itself. The world and all its passionate desires will one day disappear. But the man who is following Godās will is part of the permanent and cannot die.” (Phillips)
My foundation is built on the rock of my Savior’s love and my hope is in Him, and only in Him. And never have I been more certain of my longing to serve Him, to point to Him, to be emptied of myself in order to filled with Him.
You know, I’ve never been one who really enjoys my own birthday parties. I intensely dislike everyone singing to me and feel so awkward opening gifts in front of people. So I’ve had a tendency to really want to downplay these annual celebrations.
But on Saturday night, I allowed myself to be celebrated. I pushed through the awkwardness and uncomfortableness and sat at a table at my favorite restaurant surrounded by some of my most favorite people. We laughed until our cheeks hurt and at one point in the evening I just sat back and soaked it all in. I looked around the table at these amazing people who were laughing and chatting, sharing their lives and listening to each other and I was reminded of how truly, truly grateful I was that God brought them all into my life. These are people who are warm, friendly and hospitable. They are the first to extend to others and are inclusive. They love the Lord and serve Him faithfully. And I get the incredible privilege of claiming them as friends.
And it struck me that on the year that I’m turning this number which used to fill me with absolute dread and loathing, I was actually able to enjoy the celebration. To just be in the moment and relish it rather than trying to brush it aside or pretend like it wasn’t happening.
I think it’s because in my 40th year of life, I finally became comfortable in my own skin. I embraced the ways God has gifted me. I refused to let self-doubt and insecurity keep me from doing what I feel He is calling me to do.
And I have absolutely no doubt that my 41st year of life will be just as amazing. Because as certain as I am that there will be high highs and low lows, I’m even more certain that the One who has seen me through the last 40 years will be faithful in seeing me through all that is ahead.
So, here’s to you 40…let’s do this!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND MANY MANY MORE.
Happy Birthday, wishing you a great day! I am entering my 60th year in May and thought this was appropriate for any birthday, but especially milestone birthdays. It puts another perspective on the day. So glad you had a wonderful celebration. Thanks for your blog.
Happy Birthday!!!! This past August my oldest son turned 40! Gave new meaning to feeling old! Enjoy every second you have! You’ll need to keep a sense of humor and a little flexibility for your grandchildren! š
Wishing you a very happy birthday! I am 61 a and I feel like I am 40 because I don’t let a number rule how I feel or what I want to accomplish. Life isn’t a dress rehearsal so enjoy every day and if it isn’t such a great one, know that this day will end and a new one will begin. Enjoy!
Happy, happy Birthday!
I am now 60 and retired and while I love it I have said that my 40s were my favorite decade. Embrace it!!
Happy Birthday!
Happy, Happy Birthday lovely Vanessa!!
Touched my heart beyond measure! Thank you for sharing your heart.. Happy Birthday, Vanessa!! Here’s to the celebration of the next year!!!
Vanessa…you are just entering the best years of your life….and I must say that in your short 40 years, you have accomplished so very much….things that you should be so proud of….and most of all, the accomplishment of being the best mother and wife. . . . all the other accomplishments are just icing on the cake…Happy 40th to a great person who exemplifies a most wonderful person with amazing character and heart!
Wishing you a very Happy Birthday!!!!
Your 40’s are the greatest. You are finally in your groove.. go for it girl. You have earned extra points and extra happiness. You are so right. Love the skin your in. OWN it.
Happy birthday Vanessa! I am in my 46th year I guess and I can tell you all those things you have accomplished ARE amazing!! Celebrating you today and glad we have connected through blogging! xoxo
Happy Birthday! You have accomplished so much and I know you are going to have a great year…well maybe except for that algebra! (I have a 12 year old son as well so I totally get that!)… Best wishes for a wonderful new decade!
Cheers!
Shelley
Happy Birthday, cutie pie!!
Sweet Vanessa. . . how precious you are! I pray your 40’s will be even better to you than the last decade of your life (which was obviously pretty darn good!). May you continue to be blessed with every good thing and with the sure knowledge of the source of all your blessings. You are a dear, wonderful woman, and I am proud to know you. Happy, happy, happy birthday!!
Happy Birthday to a beautiful young lady outside and inside! You sure don’t look like you’re 40! I love you blog and especially this one where you described the highs and lows of life on this earth!!!!! You show your love for the Lord in your writing and also your faith!!!! You are doing what God had planned for you before conception in your Mama’s womb!!!! Truly an inspiration to this 69 year old Nena in SC!!!!
Happy Birthday! And thanks for sharing your heart, and faith, boldly! Have you ever heard that life BEGINS at forty? I don’t know exactly how that saying came about (probably when people were having children younger and anticipating an empty nest?) but I agree that, for me at least, it was true…and I’m fifty-five now. But that’s just a number to me. From my perspective, a birthday is an excuse to eat CAKE! Yum! Be thankful that you have people who want to celebrate with you, and for you…because In my whole life, I had never had a birthday party until I turned fifty. Better late than never! Also, I remember my sister telling me about a man in prison,.who’d received a cake on his birthday through a prison ministry, and he cried because he’d never even had cake for his birthday, much less a party. Eye opening. My guess is, you’ll look back on yourself at forty and smile. May God bless you and give you a future to smile over!
This post made me so incredibly happy, to see someone embracing ‘age’, and ps you totally look 32 ;)… This month when I got to the end of BHG, I told my husband, “LOOK!! I know her!” You’re famous in our house. I hope your 41st year is just as amazing, if not more. Hugs!
Hope you had a great birthday! Being in your 40’s is a piece of cake. : )
Happy Birthday! Enjoy it all, the good, the great, the challenging and the down right ugly because after all that is what life is like. Somedays you do not want to be out of bed and other days you leap out to see the beauty and the wonder God created and provided.
Have a wonderful 41st year.
Happy 40th my dear friend! You definitely do not look 40, your hair dresser is SPOT ON! I think I left a comment on your FB post, but I’ll say it again (after 45 your memory goes, lol). My Mom always told me her 40’s were the best years of her life (she is 81 now). I thought the same, until now. 46 is the best so far. The “hard parts” seem to be getting a little easier, and I’m just now seeing things like I’ve never seen them before. You’ll understand in a few more years, but for now, just know you are a beautiful lady who spreads joy everywhere you go. You deserve the very best and I love ya!
Happy happy happy birthday to you….. hope it was awesome.
Happy Birthday! I also had a huge birthday (50) a few weeks ago and spent so much time agonizing over it and dwelling on what could have been. Oftentimes, we forget the good and that we chose a path for a reason. I’m glad you worked through that to remember the blessings. Good friends are a must as we grow older. Have a wonderful year! Milena
Happy Birthday Vanessa!
Thank you Julia!