I mean, her last name is “Popular”!
I’ve known Patty for a very long time. She seemed so harmless at first. Merely making me aware of the little things about myself that I could work on. Patty was really just being helpful!
Patty Popular was more than eager to follow me when we moved across the country right before I started middle school. What I thought would be a fresh start turned out to be the stuff of a John Hughes movie minus the Brat Pack and ultimate 80’s soundtrack. Hormones, boys, braces (twice!) and the sad realization that I might die never having owned a new pair of Guess jeans. You know the ones I’m talking about, right? With that magical little inverted triangle on the back pocket?
Patty was great about reminding me that I would never be “in”. She was quick to point out that I was always just a step behind the rest. I could never get that pony-tail quite high enough on my head. I finally got those Guess jeans but they were hand-me-downs from my cousin and about a year too late. And don’t even get Patty started on how badly I needed to tame my caterpillar-ish eyebrows!
She stayed with me all through high-school (the ultimate breeding ground of insecurity) and college. Oh sure, I had moments where I was able to shake her but she was always so patient. Just waited until the moment when my defenses were down and she could worm her way back into my life.
After I met and married my amazing husband, Patty seemed to disappear for awhile. He was so great about building me up, making me feel beautiful and funny. I got a great job after college and we bought our first home.
And then we moved.
I think Patty Popular was somewhere rubbing her hands together saying “muwhahaha” when she heard that! Starting over was my ultimate weakness. My “Kryptonite” so to speak.
She knew that relocating gave her a fresh chance to wreak havoc.
And havoc she wreaked! Not only did I struggle to find my way, other factors compounded all of my insecurities and fears and gave Patty Popular opportunities to mess with me in ways she had only dreamed of.
Infertility, family issues, career changes…all of these opened new doors for Patty. It’s funny though. Most of the time I would start out my day just fine. And actually feel confident in many ways. I would be going about my business and then out of nowhere Patty would show up. That confidence had to be undermined in order for her to succeed!
Years later, I started a blog. Just a simple blog. I felt the need for a creative outlet and blogging seemed like the perfect solution. Oh, it was so much fun! People were encouraging and supportive and left such sweet comments.
And then Patty showed up. I’m not sure why I assumed this little part of my life would be sacred and untouched by her but I should have known better.
Recently, Patty Popular tried to keep me from sharing my Spring Mantel. She waited for the moment when I got it all done and was relishing the lovely simplicity of it. She knows how much I loved my first attempt at forcing branches from my cherry tree. And how I think the birds nest “nestled” up against the creamy white pitcher is just so sweet.
I take a step back, cock my head at my Spring Mantel and hear Patty asking me if it’s “Pin” worthy.
Or if I should even be sharing it since most bloggers shared their Spring mantels 2 months ago.
I love to sit in this room with my family and take in the beauty of the custom cherry mantel and built-ins. But Patty Popular doesn’t want me to love it.
She wants me to feel insecure about the fact that my mantel isn’t white. And since I don’t have white woodwork my Spring decor won’t look quite right and it definitely won’t be “Pin” worthy!
But, I’ve decided that enough is enough.
Time to say farewell to Patty Popular!
There’s no room for her in my life anymore.
She has done enough damage and already I think her voice is fading. Oh, I’m not doing it alone though. There has been a lot of prayer and a lot of releasing of past hurts, bitterness and grief. I’ve needed help in getting rid of her.
And, it hasn’t happened overnight. Patty still tries to sneak in here and there.
But, I tell her to go away a lot more quickly now!
And, what about you? Is it time for you to say farewell to Patty Popular too?
Maybe we could all throw her a going away party! I’m sure it would be “Pin” worthy. 😉
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